CHAPTER THREE
❝The moon fascinates us in her simplicity.❞
Avijeet Das
✦✧✦
Ahkmenrah has never been one to complain. He considers himself an easygoing guy, all things considered. All right, maybe he was his parents' favorite, and maybe he was one of the richest kings in the Middle East, but he has kind of been locked in that bloody sarcophagus for almost sixty years without seeing a single person.
21,535 nights. 21,535 nights that he's lain awake, missing his parents, breathing in dust, thinking about the bloody prophecy that's haunted him for years. He's had 21,535 nights to think about it, and he's still no closer to figuring out what it means. He's got the basics down: he's obviously the 'infant king' and the tablet is the 'words of gold', but he has no idea what the 'key to reborn life' is, or who the hell the 'daughter of the moon' is supposed to be.
Ahkmenrah did spend about fourteen years on display in England, at Cambridge University, during which time he had a small crush on a young intern who cleaned the glass case he was displayed in. (He was sadly just a skeleton during the day, dear reader, and he wouldn't have had eyeballs, so as for an explanation: the magic tablet can do whatever it wants.) She had pretty brown eyes and a soft smile, but the problem was that she got older and Ahkmenrah was old dusty bones whenever she saw him.
But he's never seen any girl as beautiful as the one who opened his tomb tonight. She's pressed against one of the stone pillars, eyes wide and mouth agape, and he can't help but stare. Freckles dance across her skin like constellations, her eyes are the same shade of green as the jewels embedded in his old throne, and her hair (it's kind of a wreck from running for her life, reader, but this is the first time our boy has seen a girl in like sixty years, so let's cut him a little slack) looks softer than all of the finest silks in Egypt.
Here he is, standing in front of the most beautiful girl in the world, standing on his own two feet for the first time in sixty years, and the first thing he chooses to say is, "You would not believe how stuffy it is in there."
Oh, my gods, Ahk, you idiot.
It takes a moment for the girl to find her words--Ahkmenrah doesn't blame her; he'd be a little shocked if a corpse came to life in front of his eyes, too--and then she asks, in a quiet little voice, "You speak English?"
"Yes." Ahkmenrah steps out into the hall, staring around. He's never actually seen this so-called "tomb" of his before; the statues of Anubis are a nice touch, but if they were real Egyptian scholars, they'd have known that he and his family worshipped Osiris as god of the underworld. Tragically, Anubis was a fad that didn't last into the Middle Kingdom. "I went to Cambridge University."
Two men approach him cautiously, very similar in appearance. If Ahkmenrah had to guess, he'd say they were father and son. Both of their eyes are darting between him and the girl behind him. The older man focuses on him after a moment and says, "You went to Cambridge?"
"I was on display in the Egyptology Department," Ahkmenrah replies. And then he remembers he hasn't introduced himself. He can practically hear his mother scolding him in his head. "I am Ahkmenrah, fourth king of the fourth king, ruler of the land of my fathers." Well, before my brother murdered me, anyway.
The older man nods awkwardly. "Uh, I am Larry," he says, pointing to himself, "son of...Milton..." He points to the younger man--boy, really--beside him. "And this is my son, Nick. We hail from...Brooklyn."
Nick gives Ahkmenrah a tiny wave, accompanied by an awkward smile. (He gets it from his dad, reader.)
"Well, I do," Larry corrects himself. "I mean, he comes out and stays with me on Wednesdays and every other weekend. That was the...custody agreement that we had."
Ahkmenrah hasn't understood a single thing he's said for the past forty seconds.
"Uh, hi." The girl steps away from the pillar and toward Ahkmenrah, a tiny smile on her face now. "I'm Luna. You're--you're really Ahkmenrah? The actual pharaoh Ahkmenrah?"
"I am." Ahkmenrah nods to her. This conversation is a delightful excuse for him to stare at her without being rude. She really is stunning.
"You're not...wax?"
"I wasn't last time I checked." He gives her a wry smile. "And I will say, I'm a lot better-looking at night than when the sun comes up, all things considered."
The girl--Luna--laughs, and Ahkmenrah thinks it's the most beautiful sound in the world. He can't believe he was cooped up in that stifling sarcophagus for all those years, while the world around him went on and on. He didn't realize how much he missed human conversation until now.
Ahkmenrah turns to the two men, Larry and Nick. "Well, Larry, Nick--" He looks back at Luna and smiles-- "Luna--guardians of Brooklyn, I am forever in your debt." And now for the dramatic request... "Now bestow the tablet upon me, so that I may assume command of my kingdom."
Larry raises his eyebrows, then nods understandingly. "Oh, yes. Okay, the tablet. I would love to bestow it upon you, but we don't actually..." He pauses awkwardly. "Have it."
Oh, dear.
"Actually, I'm a little confused," Luna says, tilting her head to the side and frowning. "What exactly is going on with this tablet thing?"
"Well, like I said before, the tablet is magic," Larry says. "It brings everything to life at night."
"I think I got that part." Luna looks pointedly at Ahkmenrah, who notices that her eyes shine like a thousand stars and is very pleased about this discovery. "But who are those old guys and why do they want it?"
Larry sighs and explains that the three "old guys", as Luna said, are the former night guards that used to work at the museum, Cecil, Gus, and Reginald, and just like the tablet gives all the exhibits life at night, it gives them renewed vitality. When they heard that the museum was going to fire them to cut back on costs, they realized they couldn't live without the energy the tablet gave them, so they decided to steal it, which Ahkmenrah thinks is a bit rude, if he's honest.
"Okay, so hang on," Nick says, running a hand through his hair and looking entirely lost. "The tablet's magic only works at night, right?"
"Yes," Ahkmenrah and Larry say at the same time.
"And what time is it now?"
Luna turns her wrist to look at her watch, biting her lip anxiously. "It's just past eleven."
"So if we don't catch those guys before dawn, then..." Nick gestures to Ahkmenrah wordlessly, and Ahkmenrah understands.
"This is the last time any of us will wake at night." Which would be terrible, because this is the first time he's gotten to stretch his legs in a very long time and he hasn't even gotten a chance to really talk to Luna yet. They have to catch those men.
"Sunrise is in six hours," Larry says, shifting from foot to foot, eyes darting around nervously. "We're locked in here, and the only set of keys is currently wherever Cecil, Gus, and Reginald are."
"I think I can help with that, actually," says Ahkmenrah, a smile growing on his face as an idea comes to him suddenly. He turns to the Anubis statues, both of which are still bowed in subservience to him. "Nḫbḫb!" he shouts. (Which roughly translates to 'open (the gate)!' and is pronounced nexhebexheb. You're welcome.)
The Anubis statues nod, and in perfect unison, they pick up the stone that held Ahkmenrah's sarcophagus shut, march toward the gate, stand at attention, and then throw the stone at the gate with tremendous It smashes into the wall with a terrific clash of metal on stone on marble that makes Ahkmenrah's ears ring wildly.
While the dust clears, Ahkmenrah sets about taking off the rest of the bandaging. He'll give credit to the embalmers: they did a hell of a job. It takes him almost ten minutes to get the rest of it off, and another five to find his royal headpiece. Why would they hide it in a chest under the tablet? It's much nicer than the tablet, in his opinion.
Larry and Nicky lead the way out of the tomb, and Ahkmenrah proffers his hand to help Luna over the massive stone in the doorway. "My lady."
Luna's eyes widen in surprise and a small smile creeps across her face. "Thank you." She takes his hand, and it almost brings Ahkmenrah to his knees. This is the first time he's touched another person in... gods, he can't even remember how long. Her hand is warm and soft in his and it gives him an unfamiliar tickling sensation in his lower abdomen.
Larry pauses and looks back at the Anubis statues. "Thanks, guys." He gives them a two-fingered salute. "Don't worry. I'll watch out for him."
The Anubis statues give the statue equivalent of a nod.
"Thank you," Larry says again, and then they're off! Ahkmenrah hasn't run since he was a boy, and the thrill of it is enough to make him smile.
There's a great commotion coming from downstairs, and Larry skids to a stop at the balcony, the rest of them stopping behind him. Almost every exhibit in the museum is in the main lobby, fighting, screaming, and throwing things. Ahkmenrah's not sure why, exactly, and then he hears a much louder, much higher-pitched screaming noise.
"What is that?" he asks Larry, but it's Luna who answers, in that sweet, small voice that this time is laced with fear.
"Huns."
Ahkmenrah looks across the museum and sure enough: there are about ten men, all dressed in traditional Mongolian clothing and wielding traditional Mongolian weapons. (He was on display at the same time as some Huns at Cambridge, reader.) And they all look incredibly angry.
"I gotta deal with this guy," Larry mutters, as the Huns charge around the balcony toward them. He starts running again--but toward the Huns, which Ahkmenrah thinks is a very strange move, but he's just here for the ride, so what the hell does he know?
They meet in the middle--more like collide--and Larry and the leader of the Huns go nose-to-nose, screaming unintelligibly in each others' faces. Ahkmenrah takes a step back, and so do Luna and Nicky. Ahkmenrah can't help but notice the way Nicky steps slightly in front of Luna, his hand hovering over hers protectively. He doesn't really like that very much.
The leader of the Huns shouts something incredibly profane in Hunnish at Larry, who, clearly not understanding, just shouts gibberish back at him. This goes on for much longer than it should, until the leader of the Huns--Ahkmenrah thinks he heard one of the others call him Attila--is very confused and Larry just looks more awkward.
"Pardon me, Larry." He steps forward, between the two men. "I speak Hun." (He was on display at the same time as some Huns at Cambridge, and when you come to life with people--or wax figures--for fourteen years, you start to pick up a thing or two.)
When Larry doesn't say anything, Ahkmenrah turns to Attila. "Hello. What seems to be the problem?" He does a little bow, to make it slightly more polite, just in case.
"I want to rip this small man limb from limb!" Attila growls, making an explicit ripping gesture with his hands.
"He says he wants to rip you apart," Ahkmenrah says to Larry, slightly proud that he gets to be a translator.
Larry sighs, shaking his head. "All right, again with the ripping. Listen, I understand. I get it."
Behind them, Luna leans her head against Nicky's arm, watching this whole exchange with wide eyes. Ahkmenrah wrinkles his nose. He wishes she'd come stand by him.
"And I think maybe that's because somebody ripped you," Larry's saying now. "A long time ago." He points to his chest. "In here."
Attila's frowning, but not out of confusion. He can understand every word.
"Did somebody rip little--little baby Attila a long time ago?" Larry lowers his voice to almost a whisper. "Right here?" He touches Attila's chest cautiously. "They ripped--they ripped something out, didn't they?"
And if Ahkmenrah's being honest, he doesn't really pay attention to the next part, because Luna makes eye contact with him, and then walks over to join him. "What are they talking about?" she whispers, standing ever-so-close to him.
"That's Attila the Hun," Ahkmenrah whispers back. "It's widely thought that his father left him and his brother alone as children for months at a time when he went off to war as general of the Hun army. Larry's exploiting a possible emotional weakness to get Attila to trust him."
Attila bursts into tears and buries his face in Larry's shoulder.
"I suppose it worked." Ahkmenrah smiles. "Look at that."
"Larry Daley," Attila grunts, backing away and sniffing hard. "You are a good man." He slaps Larry hard in the chest, but this time, he's grinning.
Larry repeats the Hunnish phrase, still not knowing what it means, and slaps Attila back. "Good. Good." He turns to Ahkmenrah, Luna, and Nicky, and beckons them toward the balcony.
"All right," Larry says, gripping the railing and staring down at the utter chaos below. "I need everybody to listen up!"
If anything, the noise from the lobby gets even worse.
"Guys, come on!" Larry sighs through his nose.
Still, nothing happens.
Then: "QUIEEEEEEETTT!"
A silent stillness falls over the crowd below as they all turn and look up at Larry, Ahkmenrah, Nicky, and Luna.
From down the hall, the Easter Island statue says, "My dum-dum want to speak."
Larry, albeit slightly taken aback, nods. "Thank you." He turns back to face the lobby and sets a hand on Ahkmenrah's shoulder. "Now this here is King Ahkmenrah. His tablet is what brings you to life every night. And those old night watchmen? They stole it. Now we need to find those guards and get the tablet back, and we need to do it before morning." He points at a group of mannequins in uniforms. "Civil War guys!"
The mannequins stand at attention.
"Head over to the planetarium wing," Larry tells them, and they nod. He points at a bronze statue of a historical man whom Ahkmenrah does not know. "My explorer friend whose name escapes me!"
"It's Columbus," Luna whispers, leaning across Ahkmenrah to tell Larry, and that tickling sensation returns to his stomach. Strange.
"Right, Columbus!" Larry sighs again. "Right, I'm sorry. There's no name plate. So Columbus, take the Neanderthals and do a sweep from invertebrates all the way through reptiles." He points to a large group of miniature men that Ahkmenrah hadn't ever noticed before. "Jed and Octavius, their van's parked out back. Go take care of it."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, no, sir!" a very small man with a strange accent pipes up. "I ain't working with Toga Boy."
"Romans work alone," says another small man beside him, and this starts a fight between them, which Ahkmenrah isn't entirely surprised about. He can't help but hear all the fighting when he's stuck in his sarcophagus at night; it's sad.
"Guys, come on!" Larry shouts, but it does absolutely no good.
And then Ahkmenrah realizes Luna isn't standing beside him anymore: she's downstairs, in the midst of all the exhibits. He opens his mouth to say something, to say that they might actually kill her, but then she raises her voice slightly and says, "Hey?"
Everyone shuts up immediately. Ahkmenrah's, Larry's, and Nicky's jaws drop simultaneously.
"Um, hi." Luna waves at all the exhibits. "I'm Luna Clair. I go to school like four blocks from you guys." She pauses, clears her throat, then looks at the group of tiny men and says, "It's Jed, right?"
"Yes, ma'am," says the small man.
"And you're Octavius?"
"Indeed."
"It's really great to meet you," Luna says, smiling. "But I have to tell you: I love history. It's one of my favorite things in the world, and based on history, you guys fighting is ridiculous! The pioneers built the American West from the ground up in record time, and the Romans were one of the greatest empires in the modern age! Can you imagine what you guys could do if you worked together instead of fighting over whose diorama looks better or whose country did more in its lifespan?"
The two men say nothing, which is a bloody relief.
"You're both great leaders," Luna continues. "I can tell. And great leaders lead by example, so can you both please forgive your differences and learn to get along?"
The tiny cowboy sighs. "Well, ma'am, it's damn hard to say it, but I'll try my best."
"And I as well," says the small centurion, puffing out his chest.
"Thank you." Luna smiles, and then turns to the uniformed mannequins. "And you guys... look at you! Do you know what you're most remembered for? Killing each other! Destroying families because you couldn't figure out how to get along! You spent five years shooting each other full of holes; isn't that enough? Sure, the North won and the South is bitter, but it's over. Let bygones be bygones, right?"
Reluctantly, the mannequins all nod.
Across the balcony, a man with a red mustache and gleaming spectacles makes eye contact with Ahkmenrah and gestures to Luna, then mouths, "She's good."
Ahkmenrah's only known her less than an hour and that, he knows for sure.
When no one says anything, Luna clears her throat, blushing a little, and turns to face the balcony. "Um, Mr. Daley, back to you?"
After a moment, Larry sighs. "Look, without that tablet, all of this?" He gestures to the room at large. "This whole coming-to-life-at-night thing, it all goes away. Now I don't want to let that happen, but I need your help. We can get this done, but we've gotta do it together. So who's with me?"
Luna and Ahkmenrah are the first to raise their hands, and when they make eye contact, there's something electric, something fiery in their gaze. Ahkmenrah feels his face heat, so he looks back at Larry instead.
"Who's with me?" Larry asks again, louder this time.
The museum roars its agreement, a thunderous, electrifying shout of togetherness that sends shivers down Ahkmenrah's spine.
"All right!" Larry grins, excitement gleaming in his eyes. "Then let's do this."
✦✧✦
okay but ahkmenrah is just the cutest bean ever--
i love slowburn fics, don't get me wrong, but sometimes the holy-shit-they're-beautiful right off the top gives me butterflies like you would NOT believe, so we're doing that as a change of scenery.
also, i can't wait to write more of ahk's sense of humor. he's got a real sass to him that isn't brought out enough in the movies (we all know he's the real main character though), so you're welcome in advance for ahk being a sarcastic king.
q: which ship from natm is the cutest?
a: jedtavius is total brotp goals (in come all the jedtavius shippers *prepares for impact*), but give me laaa and tilly all day long. we all deserve a listener like laaa, am i right?