Love- quite the phenomenon it is isn't it? a feeling so obscure that it was impossible to describe, truly at least. it was an emotion that was concealed and hidden but so out in the air and right by your eyes, an emotion that might have been veiled for some and might have been revealed for some, for Hyunjin tough; it had just been unveiled, right before his sight he has discovered the most beautiful emotion possible, in the eyes of the boy he adored the most in the entire universe, and in his own he held love
it was like he discovered heaven on earth but it was just a spot next to Felix and a gaze into his eyes, the smile that romanced the brunette's face only made the scene further ethereal. the pattering rain against their skin might have been successful at threatening their sight but it couldn't succeed at diverting their attention from one another. how could they ever look away when the only sight they've wanted for their entire life was right in front of them
shyness crawled on Felix's skin like a bug on a tree, like one behind them. it painted him rogue as he bit the corner of his lower lip attempting to refrain himself from smiling like a fool. He was so in love that it was even hard to breathe, nothing in this universe could've been better than this and it made him wonder 'is this real?' was all of this real? did Hyunjin just kiss him? Was Hyunjin even real? Was any of this real? 'this must be a dream' that was the conclusion he ended up on. How could he even wrap his head around the fairytale he's only really read in books could be his own? Hyunjin just kissed him!
it was too much of a news to tackle and his little mind could do nothing else than gush over Hyunjin and his lover-boy eyes that melted Felix. while moments of admiration passed Felix's eyes fell from the eyes of his new-found paradise to his lips, and oh there- he felt things that couldn't be described, the moment his eyes landed on Hyunjin's lips he was reminded of how they tasted and felt, never in his wildest dreams could he ever picture that he'd be made aware of the taste of Hyunjin's lips
And that rose a fervor of want in him, want of kissing Hyunjin more which he could never word out, he didn't have enough courage in him nor enough confidence, but lord what was he to do when the man of all his love was sitting in front of him, eyes gazing directly into Felix's that were looking at his lips and he was well aware of the desires that knocked at Felix's senses, he could read those eyes. it was all too clear because he was feeling it too
and before he could give ease to their aches, Felix did. the brunette leaned in resting his lips against Hyunjin, he didn't move, just stayed still with his lips against the boy he loved most. at first, Hyunjin was taken slightly aback but it didn't take him more than a second to smile widely in between their mischief of love and reciprocate Felix's action, he held the latter's face extremely gently tugging his fingertips in his hair and caressing his cheek with his thumb as he pressed a deep kiss against the brunette's pretty lips
he followed what Felix wanted, he didn't move or go any further than the attachment of their lips and Felix admired how he would never go against his will and it only made greater butterflies swarm in his stomach. the brunette boy smiled slightly in the kiss before he pulled back, letting his hands fall to Hyunjin's lap as he rested his palms flat on the raven head's thighs staring into Hyunjin's eyes while the taller stared back at him then down at his lips, hand still on his face he looked back at Felix and smiled
bright and gleaming stars, that's what Hyunjin saw in Felix's. so glimmery and starry that Hyunjin wasn't sure if he was looking into the eyes of a divinity or the sky of Zeus' but one thing made him certain; the wrinkles by the eyes and the fading freckles, they made him definite that these weren't the eyes of a deity nor the god-land of Zeus but of eyes of the boy he was so in love with. and the realization made his smile deeper while Felix let himself loose and fell into Hyunjin, slumping as he rested his cheek against the latter's chest and let the hand that was previously caressing his cheek card in his hair as he watched the rain fall from the sky
Hyunjin sighed deeply, resting his back against the tree trunk while he held Felix's frame in his arms, running his long fingers through his silky hair. the duo sat in silence with the only sound being the rain and once in a while clattering clouds, and peace found its way toward them once again and sat right beside them invisible to their eyes but definitely visible to their hearts. Hyunjin looked down at Felix's face and smiled softly, there was beauty and there was charm but nothing could compare to the way Felix looked in Hyunjin's eyes. he watched him for a while until the universe tugged at their strings of destiny and made Felix's heart yearn to look at Hyunjin too, right at the minute the taller was already looking at him
he turned his head and found Hyunjin's starry eyes already looking at him, his stomach turned and his heart glimmered as he chuckled sweetly keeping his eyes locked into Hyunjin's, he would've thanked god right now for how grateful he felt but something else invaded his thoughts 'should I tell him? now seems like the time' his thoughts wondered as his smile deepened 'but I can't...I don't want to ruin this, what if he thinks I'm latching onto this opportunity like a desperate clown?' he pondered whether or not should he tell Hyunjin about the love he held in his heart for him
'I should tell him, I don't have long anyway, it's best I tell him now' his heart was drumming but it was only a good sign, he wanted to tell Hyunjin how much he loved him, maybe not right away but just let him know that he was ready for love. perhaps mask his enormous feelings with the cliche 'I like you' but just let him know, and just as he was about to open his mouth his brain hammered with another thought 'That's the point, I don't have long; I shouldn't drag him into my mess when I know I'll leave' the statement his mind made seemed too correct to ignore
his smile nearly fell as he licked his lips 'he deserves to know, he deserves to know that someone is out here that loves him more than anything in this world' and so he smiled again, knowing it was wrong and he probably shouldn't yet he still stuck with it, he wanted to tell Hyunjin and make him aware of how loved he was. no matter the outcome, at least Hyunjin would know that the idea he has of himself is nothing but a false portrayal of his father and that he is worthy of being loved and appreciated
So he gathered all the courage he could in the world to open his mouth and speak the words that will change his life forever "Hyunjin I-" and there fate was, playing its games. A vivid light shining in their direction had caught Hyunjin off guard therefore unable to listen to what Felix was saying, his eyes widened in surprise when he looked away from Felix's eyes and glanced at the grass in front of them that shone brightly
History was repeating itself and so was Hyunjin, his hand that was in Felix's hair departed and attached itself to his wrist as he hurriedly stood up causing panic in Felix as well "What's going on?" before Felix's question could be answered they were on their feet and sprinting through the rain with the same man running after them "you two!" He yelled causing Felix to look back as he panted, already out of breath. His eyes were met with no sight apart from trickling rain and a bright light
And after minutes of running, they finally made it over the fence though completely drenched the boys rested their backs against the same bricked wall they'd been against before too, nostalgia was in the air they panted through sliding down, and sitting on the dirty ground. Hyunjin was the first to look around at Felix and when he did the boy did too which made both of them burst out in laughter, oh they've come so far from where they began
Through those laughs and giggles, it seemed they'd forgotten what happened just moments ago, for there was no awkwardness, no shyness just purity of what they had. "I'm sure he hates his job now" Felix spoke once they were silent again resting his head on the wall and closing his eyes "he better not, because I'm just about to make it worse" The sentence made Felix open his eyes and look at Hyunjin only to find him standing, running a hand through his now wet hair as he looked out of the alleyway clearly planning something
"What do you mean?"
Felix's words resonated in Hyunjin's ears as he looked around to look at him "We left the book behind" he explained, waiting for the right time he'll run back to get the book "We did last time too, it's okay" Felix tried to lure him out of his silly plan while also trying to regain his breath "well, I was foolish back then-- I'm not now" Hyunjin argued further making Felix sigh "Hyunjin just leave it" but it didn't seem as though Hyunjin would "Felix, I can't-" he turned his entire body this time, eyes pleading Felix not to argue further. He didn't want to word it out—more like he couldn't word out why he was so desperate to keep that book
It was a witness, a witness of the most important moment of his life, the happiest moment of his entire existence. "he's just a stupid watchman, I'll be fine" he assured the worried-eyed boy with a sweet smile as he turned around and jogged away, leaving Felix with a fretful and confused heart 'why does he want to keep the book so bad? Does he feel guilty for not doing so the first time' Felix's thoughts ran while he licked his lips and rested his head against the wall again, waiting for Hyunjin's return
Moments passed and Felix was still waiting but his worry was rising, Hyunjin was right the man really was just some stupid watchman, then why was Felix so worried? Before his thoughts of apprehension ponder further Hyunjin had made his return. As the sounds of wet and heavy footsteps echoed in the dark alleyway Felix quickly opened his eyes and turned to look at Hyunjin, though when he saw him limp he sprung to his feet and ran toward the boy
"Hyunjin?!"
His worried voice echoed when he cupped Hyunjin's bruised face gazing into his eyes with his own distressed ones "What happened?" As a response to his question, Hyunjin chuckled "Turns out, he's not just a stupid watchman but a madman instead" he joked while Felix nearly lost his marbles "I told you not to go back! why would you even do that?" Hyunjin smiled deeply at the question as he raised his hands and held the ones Felix was cupping his face with, dropping the book on the ground in the process
"I'd get the tree too if I could, the grass, the rain-- everything present at that minute"
time nearly stopped when Hyunjin spilled his heart, the eyes of Felix shone like they were meant to be a diamond, and his worry fell from his face when subtle shyness and contempt took over and painted him pink rubbing off a sugary smile on his lips when he shook his head before whispering in the sweetest voice possible "you're insane" and he was right, Hyunjin was insane--insanely in love with him
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"does it hurt?" seated on the couch of their shared little apartment, Felix questioned Hyunjin if the ointment he was applying hurt "No" While that's what the answer Hyunjin muttered, the truth was his busted lip truly hurt but the fact that Felix was so up close to him with their breaths mingling and skin touching he could barely feel any of that pain "why will he hurt you like this...he should've just asked for money or something" there was so much sadness in Felix's voice it made Hyunjin smile at how adorable the brunette boy was
"why are you smiling?" he parted himself from the raven head, staring into his eyes as he rested the Q-tip on the coffee table "You're cute" Felix sighed and shook his head at the comment, he was used to it by now yet still the flood of butterflies in the pit of his stomach didn't stop from forcing a tiny smile on his face "does your leg feel okay now?" he questioned reposing himself as he scooted away from Hyunjin rested his back against the handrest of the couch and held his knees to his chest
"yes it does, don't worry I'll be fine by tomorrow morning"
Hyunjin assured him, stretching his limbs as Felix began to question again "why didn't you fight back?" he was upset Hyunjin had let the man hurt him, the raven head chuckled grabbing hold of Felix's knees and making him fold his legs before he laid his head on his lap, groaning in the process as he spread out his leg straight making it fall over the armrest "I thought you wouldn't like that, besides, I left you all alone I couldn't take too long"
Felix sighed carding his fingers in his hair, like always. they had habits of theirs that they were so used to that it had become muscle memory by now, and it was terrifying honestly, because now that they were so accustomed to each other and these little things of theirs it was nearly impossible for them to go on without indulging in these habits so what would happen when Felix leaves? how will Hyunjin live when these habits have become a part of his daily routine
these habits have become a part of him, so when Felix leaves who will he do these things with? no one, nobody can replace Felix and he was aware of that, he was aware that the game he was playing was fatal, and loving Felix would only bring disaster to him, yet he was set on it. if disaster it was then disaster he wants.
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hi omg hello how are you!! I missed u my little boogie boos so much like mwah mwah mwah, also anyways how do we like her? Is she good? give me your opinions <3