-• jealousy •-
Rudra
[Two months later]
In the darkness, the name you remember first,
is the one who has always reached out to you before everyone else.
"Your idea sounds good," Yuvraaj concedes with a nod. He reaches for the sealed bottle of water and tosses it towards me. I catch it and twist open the cap, guzzling the water down my dry throat. "But I'll need you to give the presentation personally."
I pause. "No, Yuvraaj, after last time, I'm hesitant about revealing my identity."
"I understand," he agrees. "But you can convince the board better than me. I'm a businessman, Rudra, all I understand is profit and loss. And this, this is not my forte." He gestures towards the presentation screen. "I don't even know the meaning of half of the technical terms that you use. Even if I try, I won't sound as confident as you. Only the sailor knows the sea better."
Putting the bottle down, I brace the edge of his desk with my hands. "So, what do you suggest? I expose myself?"
"I don't know." He shakes his head. "But the board is getting restless, Rudra. They have deep respect for you and for what you've created, but they are still hesitant to trust you. Business is not all about risks. People want to trust the people they do business with."
"I'll think about something," I stand straight. "Let's call it a day. Good night." Picking up my phone and car keys, I leave his office and nod at Rachel on my way to the elevator.
I put on my glasses. Yara activates himself.
"Did you hear him?"
"Yes."
"Do you think it's the right time?" I step out of the elevator and press the fob to unlock my car.
"I can't grasp the concept of right and wrong time. Isn't it just time?" He asks, perplexed at the human understanding of a basic physical quantity. "Time has nothing to do with it. But you might need to retrospect your situation to make a sound decision."
I slide inside my car, revving the engine to life. "Then I'm afraid I'm not in the situation to take a risk right now."
"I understand."
"Is there no way I can be in front of them without revealing who I am? Like I can send someone to act like me, without needing to train him. He should encapsulate me in his behaviour so well that it's as if I'm the one speaking, but it's actually him."
Yara falls quiet.
"No?"
"Sounds confusing to me." He replies.
I sigh in defeat.
Parking my car in the driveway, I get out and throw the keys in the hands of the valet, thanking him on my way inside the palace.
"Late again, Shourya?" The Chairman's voice halts me in place.
Having reached the end of the staircase, I place my hand on the wooden railing and turn sideways to give him my attention. "Good evening, Dadu," the last word feels like acid in my mouth.
"You couldn't wait to get married to her, and now that she's your wife, you rarely come home early. It's close to midnight." He glances at his wrist watch.
"Exactly why I'm curious to see you still awake!" I feign a playful tone and walk up to him. "You should be in bed by now." I gently turn his frail body around, resisting the urge to shove him to the floor as I lead him back to his bedroom. He chuckles. Opening the large mahogany door, I help him until his bed and make him lie down. "You should catch some sleep. You're already on sleep medications. Let them do their job."
He smiles fondly. "Bend over," he whispers. I've no choice but to obey. My body stiffens feeling his shaky hand stroke the top of my head lovingly. "I cannot thank God enough for sending you into my life. My precious grandson." He leans in to kiss the crown of my head. I stand straight and force a smile on my face.
"You should go to sleep now." I help him pull the covers to his chest and turn off the lights in the room. As I pull the door close, he sends me one last smile and I feel obliged to reciprocate. The door clicks shut, allowing the smile on my face to drop. I turn away and head to my room with brisk steps.
Taranya looks up from the script in her hands. "You're early today."
"Am I?" I frown. "The old man said I'm coming home awfully late for someone who recently got married."
"It's been two months." She snorts. "Honeymoon phase supposedly lasts two years. He's not wrong."
I remove my suit jacket and drape it over the armrest of the couch before sitting down to remove my socks. "What are you doing?"
"Did you see my live report today?" She asks anxiously.
I chuckle. "Do you see the man in red boobs?"
She gasps and shakes her head, crying dramatically in the cup of her palms. Makes me laugh harder. "Boots! It was supposed to be boots! Oh my God, that was so embarrassing."
"It's okay, mistake happens."
She bites her lower lip, "People are commenting I should check for speech impairment." She shows me her phone screen. I scroll through the comments. The amusement leaves my face reading the harsh criticism made against her only because she messed up one word during her first live report.
"What is wrong with people?" My frown deepens the more I scroll down.
She takes the phone from my hand. "My coworker said it's not worse for someone who's new in the industry."
"Not worse?" I get up to sit beside her on the bed. "People are saying you got the job because you are Yuvraaj's sister and my wife, while you got it through sheer dedication and perseverance. It was a blind interview for God's sake."
She shrugs. "I know the truth. I don't care what people think." She tosses the phone aside.
"You don't?" I ask rhetorically.
"I mean, it hurts a little." She admits softly. "But my coworker -"
"Your coworker wants you to suck it up and not stir troubles for the channel." I state. "I'm not obliged to do the same. How dare some random jobless man asks my wife to go back to the kitchen, saying that is where she belongs?"
Getting off the bed, I pick up my phone from the couch and call my secretary at Rajawat Finance. She answers it on the fifth ring. "Were you sleeping?" I snap.
"So- Sorry, sir." She apologises.
"Get in touch with our legal advisor and file a case of defamation against every IP address -" Tara snatches the phone from me.
"No need, Shailja. I'm sorry we disturbed you so late at night."
My face screws in disbelief. "Tara-"
She holds up a hand on my face. "Alright, good night." Hanging up, she grabs my hand and slaps the phone in my palm. "Keep Niharika out of my business."
I exhale sharply. "Fine, I'll call Rachel -"
"No, Shourya." She grumbles. "Don't call anyone. People get trolled on social media every other day. I'll be fine."
"Trolled for something as insignificant as this?" I sit down in front of her.
"That's how this industry works." She defends. "I'm good at my job, my manager takes note of my hardwork, I'm offered new opportunities every now and then, this is the least I can go through."
"Esther, you don't need to suffer the bad for the good you receive," I cup her cheek tenderly. "You're good at your job because you've extensively prepared yourself for it. Your manager praises the results your produce because you don't shy away from working hard. And you're offered new opportunities because you deserve them. You've worked your way up to get what you're receiving."
"Not because I'm privileged?"
"No. Privilege gets you opportunities, not success. And you accept it that you're privileged." I state. "Being privileged doesn't mean you're not capable. Yes, you might have it easier than other interns in your work space because of your background, but don't forget you got this job through the same means and dedication that they did. If you get treated better in your work circle, you're also the first to receive the harshest criticism among everyone else. Nothing in life comes with only good to serve. If there's an upside to something, there's also a downside to it."
She lowers her gaze to her lap.
"You being privileged is not your fault, Tara. The people looking at you with eyes of either greed or envy are the real problem. And you don't need to take accountability for their feelings." I lift her chin with the tip of my index. "As long as you accept your reality, you'll no longer feel the need to defy it."
Surprisingly, she hugs me. "Thank you." I smile and rest my chin on top of her head, patting her back gently. She pulls away to pick up her phone from the side. "I'm going to report every comment trolling me." She says determinedly.
"You sure you don't want me to sue them?"
She looks up and squints her eyes, shaking her head in a no. "That'll be too far fetched."
"Too far fetched?"
She nods.
"Alright, I'll go and wash up. Did you have dinner?"
"An hour ago," she mumbles distractedly.
I pick up my blazer from the couch. "Can you tell the kitchen staff to bring me something to eat?" I move towards the closet.
"Okay!"
By the time I return, dressed in sweats and a black v-neck, a tray of food is waiting for me on the nightstand. I carry it to my desk and sit down to eat as I pick up on the pending work.
"Don't you get tired working?"
I shake my head. "It's fun."
"Why do you even bother coming home?" She clicks her tongue. "It's like you're only physically here while your mind and soul is in the office. Like astral projection. No, for a tech nerd like you, more like a hologram." She scoffs.
I pause abruptly. "Wh- what did you just say?" My head snaps towards her in surprise.
"It's like you're only physically -"
"No, after that."
"Astral projection," she says hesitantly.
"In the end," I probe.
"Hologram?"
I beam. "I love you!"
"I know," she shrugs proudly.
"No, you don't understand," I stride to the bed and pull her for a bone crushing hug. She yelps, then squirms uncomfortably in my arms. I pull away and press a loud kiss to her cheek. She grimaces. "I'm so in fucking love with you!"
She blushes.
"You're so smart." I cup her face.
"Am I?"
I nod and kiss her forehead. "Alright, you go to sleep now, I've tons of things to do." I return to my work desk and finish my food before quickly getting to work. I'll probably need to get in touch with my professor in California.
Mr. Barnes had reached out to me when I first tested my AI on the dark web. I have no idea how he found out but he did and helped me create a better, more advanced version of Yara. We've never seen each other before. And except for our names, we know nothing about each other. I haven't contacted him for over six years. But I need his help again.
So, I compose him an email and hit send.
Spending relentless hours in front of the computer was normal for me. But after marrying Taranya, the bed usually calls me sooner. At two in the morning, I turn off the screen and gravitate towards the space next to my wife. My arm gathers her close. I brush away loose strands back and press a soft kiss to her cheek, skimming my nose along the line of her jaw until my mouth is near her ear, "I love you."
She turns over and buries her face in my chest. I smile. Slipping off the collar, I kiss her bare shoulder before putting the top back in its place. I hug her close and rest my head on the pillow, closing my eyes with the hope of catching some sleep.
I'm woken up soon after. Rubbing my eyes to clear my sight, I watch my wife getting ready for the gym. "Good morning," I wish groggily.
"You need to stop cuddling me in your sleep." She sits on the end of the bed to tie her shoe laces.
"Why would I? I love cuddling you. You should stop cuddling me if you've any problem."
She snorts. "I'm dead asleep by the time you decide to come to the bed." Getting up, she swings her gym bag over her shoulder. "Do not cuddle me ever again."
"I will." I reply defiantly.
She grits her teeth, then starts counting something on her fingers. "Twenty two months." Her eyes meet mine.
"You're still shit at maths." I chuckle.
"There better be a note of hundred in my purse before I return." She warns me before walking out.
"Wait for me!" I shout across the room.
Scrambling off the bed, I quickly get ready for gym and grab my gym bag from the closet. Amir meets me at the end of the staircase. "You should be with her, Amir." I say sternly.
He sighs exasperatedly. "When I'm with her, she tells me you need me more. And when I'm with you, you tell me she needs me more. Make up your mind."
I look at him incredulously. I had no idea he was capable of feeling annoyance. Then again, my wife has a knack at getting on people's nerves. Lately, she has been rubbing off on me.
"Actually, you don't need to follow us in the palace. Go back to your usual position. I'll see you at nine." He bows and walks away.
In the gym, I find her almost immediately in front of the punching bag. Dropping my gym bag near hers, I unzip my jacket and fold it on the bench. I start with the treadmill as usual.
Strangely, Taranya looks a little out of it today. Her attention is barely on what she's doing, rather she keeps glancing at me frequently, but not in a way one admires another, instead with this deep look of discomfort. "Something wrong?" Her stare breaks and she shakes her head, looking past me instead. I turn my head and notice Niharika looking at me. An uncomfortable feeling settles into my stomach when she gives me a smile. I'm compelled to return it.
Moving on, I get off the treadmill and shift to the weightlifting. I start with light weights as a warm up and then move towards the heaviest barbells.
"Taranya, mind spotting me?"
She nods and removes her gloves, coming to where I lay on the bench. I rub my hands on the joggers and flex my palm muscle to prepare for a better grip. Then I curl my hands around the rod and channel my muscle strength to lift the weight. For the first round, I don't need her help.
"Good," she pats my bicep.
"Reward me with a kiss then," I joke.
To my shock, she obliges by bending over to place an open mouthed kiss on my lips. I react almost instantly, curling my hand around her nape and reaching deeper into her mouth. "That's enough," she pulls away, leaving me dazed. "C'mon, onto your next reward," she smirks.
"You just kissed me." I whisper in shock.
She rolls her eyes. "Let's move on."
I can't. It's been two months since I last felt that luscious mouth on me. Fuck, I miss the taste of it already.
"Shourya," she says sternly.
"Right, sorry," I wipe my sweaty hands to the joggers and prepare myself to lift the weights again.
The second time she has to help me put the weight off when my right arm almost gives out. "Thanks."
We end the session at seven. She picks up her bag and I grab mine, leaving the gym together. Down the hallway, it crosses my mind that I left my jacket in the gym.
"Tara, I'll be back in a minute. I forgot my jacket in the gym." She nods and holds both of our bags in her hands.
I find the jacket where I had kept it. On the bench. I put it on and leave the gym. My feet halt abruptly around the corner when I see Niharika and Taranya talking.
"Very pathetic of you to try and make me jealous."
Taranya chuckles. "I tried to make you jealous? When?"
"In the gym."
"I don't understand - oh, you mean the kiss?" I stiffen. "Honey, I'm sorry to break your bubble, but I was just playing my part. I mean, yeah, I was putting on a show, but for the world, not particularly for you."
My heart drops.
I should have known. The kiss was too spontaneous and unexpected to be true.
"It's not that hard to admit, Taranya. I make you insecure, accept it."
"As of now, you're making me laugh." Taranya says sounding amused. "Niharika, I've no interest in your Shourya. Not even a little bit. I think it's very much clear from the contract papers you have. I married him because I had no other choice. You can gatekeep him. He's all yours. In fact, I'll be happy if you get him off my back."
I step back feeling hurt.
"Then leave him." Niharika snaps.
"I'm more than eager to get away from him. He suffocates me. So rest assured, you can have him anytime. Hopefully, soon."
Not a second later, Niharika is turning around the corner and stopping abruptly at the sight of me. I school myself to act neutral. She glances back at Taranya, who walks out of the shadows and freezes after meeting my eyes.
"This is the woman you love?" Niharika asks rhetorically. "You deserve better. I deserve you." She whispers softly, her eyes filling with unshed tears. "And I'll wait until you realise that." Her arm grazes mine when she walks past me.
"Shourya -"
Snatching my gym bag from her hands, I stalk back to the palace.
"Shourya-" she grabs my arm as soon as we enter the bedroom.
I turn around and yank it off, startling her. "Don't touch me!"
"Shourya, she caught me off guard-"
"Did you mean what you said back there?"
She blinks. "I was-"
"Did you or did you not mean what you said back there?"
She doesn't answer.
I scoff out a mirthless chuckle. "I suffocate you?" My eyes tear up.
She nibbles on her lower lip silently.
"She can have me?" I repeat in disgust. "What am I, Tara? What am I to you? Do you even consider me human?"
She looks away.
I grab her by the shoulders and haul her closer, until she's looking into my eyes, frightened, timid, shaken up. "Do you have any inkling of how madly in love with you I am?" I grit out. "Stop giving me mixed signals. Stop hurting me. You don't want me? Make it clear. But don't play this game of push and pull with me. Don't subject me to this pain. Please, don't. It's so cruel." Her eyes brim with fresh tears. "I hate everything that you hate," I cup her cheek, she sniffles softly. "And if you hate me, I'll have no choice but to hate myself."
I walk into the bathroom and slam the door close.
Before I can compose myself, I receive a call from an unknown number. I frown reading the screen. My phone is unable to detect the caller ID. Out of curiosity, I answer the call and press the screen to my ear. "Hello,"
"Hello, am I speaking to Rudra?" A soft, feminine voice inquires.
"And if you hate me, I'll have no choice but to hate myself." 🤌🥺😭
Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Don't forget to vote and comment. Makes my day.