𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐞, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, & 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞. 𝐄𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲!
𝘓𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯: 𝘓𝘰𝘴 𝘈𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦𝘴, 𝘊𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘢
𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘦: 6:42pm
－ 𝘋𝘢𝘵𝘦: 𝘔𝘢𝘺 13 2021 －
/ 𝙅𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙧 𝙋𝙤𝙫 /
I just finished reading the letter Daijon had slid under the door, and I couldn't help but sob the whole time. Part of me felt bad for what he's been through, but at the same time, he's the one who kidnapped me and caused me to be single now. I shouldn't be feeling bad for him after everything he's done to me. But somehow, my heart still has a soft spot for him.
I shook my head to try and clear my thoughts, then quickly got up and placed the letter on my nightstand. I slowly approached the door, taking a deep breath before reaching for the doorknob. I've been staying in this cabin in the middle of nowhere for a few days now, and I haven't left my room even once. I haven't even opened the door for breakfast or to use the bathroom.
"Jamir, are you finally ready to talk? I miss seeing your face," Daijon asked from the other side of the door.
I looked at the doorknob and saw that it was still locked. I couldn't believe what I was about to do, but maybe I could get through to him one last time.
I took a deep breath and stood up straight. "I am. I'm ready to come out," I said, unlocking the door and instantly being pulled into a hug from Daijon.
"It's about time you came out of the room. I made dinner, breakfast, and lunch, and you still didn't come out to eat. You had me worried," he said, holding my hand and pulling me into the kitchen.
"Do you really think I have the appetite to eat? You kidnapped me!" I said, pulling my hand back so he wouldn't hold it anymore.
He gazed at me for about 10 seconds before laughing. "So why did you come out here? Did you read the letter I wrote for you?" he asked.
"Yeah," I sighed. "And I want to know more. I want to know why you're like this."
"Alright, but I have to tell you that the rest isn't for the weak. It might make your stomach turn," Daijon warned.
"If you know me, then you know I can handle the truth" I said as he nodded his head.
"When I started middle school, I began skipping almost all of my classes to stay home with my father. I wanted to learn more and more about what being a man was, so some days I went to school and some days I didn't. But on this awful day, I wish I wouldn't have gone," Daijon said with a heavy sigh.
"What happened the day you went?" I asked, placing my hand on his shoulder.
"I was getting ready for school and heard my parents arguing like they always do. Around this time, I was also starting puberty, and my emotions were all over the place, so I started to hate everything. Including my mother. The only person I still truly showed love to was my little sister. I made sure she was okay at all times," Daijon explained, his voice shaking slightly.
"Why did you hate your mother so much?" I asked, curious to know more about Daijon's past.
"The reason I resented her so much was because I realized how much she had missed out on my life. Not being there for me when I truly needed her hurt me deeply. It was like I was abandoned by someone who was supposed to protect me, and that feeling of abandonment was unbearable. I hoped I would never experience that feeling again," Daijon explained, looking down at his hands.
I listened intently as Daijon continued to tell me his story. "Hours had gone by, and I was sitting alone in the cafeteria. I didn't really have any friends because I was still being picked on for the bruises on my skin. I also didn't have my 'glow up' like the other kids in my grade. Another reason was that people started to catch on to my sexuality. They found out that I was gay because some guys walked up to me and taunted me with one of those 'Gay son or Thot daughter' jokes. But I didn't let them get to me. Instead, I replied that I was gay and kept it pushing.
Damn.
"I was basically a social outcast my entire life. My father encouraged me to fight back against the bullies, threatening to send them same men who used to beat me over again if I didn't. But I despised violence. I knew what my father was capable of doing to someone, and I didn't want to be like him. Even when my father would sic those men on me, I never fought back. I only knew how to take a punch," Daijon continued, his voice filled with sadness and pain.
I could see the hurt in Daijon's eyes as he spoke, and I felt deeply sorry for him. It was clear that he had been through a lot of pain and trauma in his life. It also had me speechless. The only thing I could do was keep listening to his story, hoping that it would bring him some comfort to make him think that someone was there to listen to him.
/ 𝘿𝙖𝙞𝙟𝙤𝙣 /
A year had passed, and now I was 14 years old. Every day, I went to the gym, working tirelessly to strengthen both my body and mind. On weekdays, I spent time with my father, learning his weaknesses and devising a plan to finally be free of him. However, I knew I had to wait for the right moment to act.
In the meantime, my father's friends continued to bully me, questioning whether I would ever fight back. Finally, the day arrived when I could take them on, and I managed to knock down all four of them.
My father watched from a distance, his face twisted into a smirk as he slowly clapped. "After all these years, you're finally showing some backbone," he said. "Now you just need to stand up to those bullies at school."
My father was so proud of me at that moment. He knew it was special to see his son become the person he was meant to be. And the best part was that I didn't even see it.
"You know, popz, I don't consider any of those people at school bullies," I said, tilting my head and balling my fist up as I looked my father in the eye with pure hatred. "They're all irrelevant to me. The only bully I've ever really had in my life was you."
My father's expression turned to one of confusion. "So what are you trying to say? I'm your bully? After all I've done for you?"
I pulled a knife out of my pocket and charged towards my dad to stab him multiple times.
I know that this might sound crazy, which it is, but I enjoyed stabbing my father. I thought about on how all the things my father has done to me and my mother. This is my way of finally getting back at him. This was my revenge. I stabbed him in his stomach repeatedly as my mother ran out the room hearing all of the commotion. As she now had a better look on what was happening, she screamed in fear, as I looked at her confused. She dropped down to her knees balling her eyes out as she was witnessing whats happening.
"Ma, what's wrong?" I asked her while dropping the knife. "Why are you crying? Shouldn't you be happy that i'm standing up to him? He abused you!"
"DAIJON WHAT ARE YOU DOING! YOU'RE KILLING HIM. STOPPP PLEASE!!!!" She cried while begging on her knees.
"But ma, can't you see that he was the root to all of our problems? This is what he wanted. He wanted me to stand up for myself. He wanted me to have whatever i desired. I wanted him dead, so he can't hurt anyone else again!"
"Daijon the police. Don't you hear the sirens? They're coming and they're going to lock you up! My prince, what have you done!"
"I don't care what i've done. Like i said, i got what i wanted. I set you free from him and you just go sit here and act like this?"
"You ... You just killed your father. You just killed someone! He was laying on you while dripping blood from his stomach"
"I know. Isn't that so cool? And the best thing about this moment is that i'm enjoying every moment of it. If i could bring him back to life, i'll do it again and again" I watched my mother back up in fear while shaking.
"Daijon, listen! We're going to blame this all on your father so you won't face any consequences. Then, after this whole situation blows over we're going to move somewhere far! And after that i'm going to have you sit in my office and figure this out as a family! You need therapy, understood?"
I looked at my now dead father then back at my mother. How could she be disappointed in me for saving her life? How could she be disappointed in me for being a man?
"Yes, mother, I understand"
I remember thinking in this exact moment. Why would she keep continuing to love the person who's done such horrible things to her? But as that thought crossed my mind I began to think that maybe that's what love is. Doing the most craziest shit and your partner still loving you. That's the motive I finally had in life.
When I had moved schools I had a fresh start. Tried out for basketball and got in. Everyone had their eyes for me, but I didn't have my eyes for anyone. At times, I even thought that I was asexual since no one could get my dick hard. That was of course, until I met the most beautiful boy in the entire world.
"Bro, i am lost as fuck. I don't know where I am and you bitches left me to go with the niggas. Yall could've at least asked me if i wanted to come with y'all to hoe it up. But instead, I went to the bathroom and i'm honestly just about to skip. This school too big to be looking around," Jamir said on the phone with his friends.
As I looked at him with pure love, I admired Jamir from where he was standing. My heart beat grew faster and faster the more I admired him. I thought that his eyes were so pretty, and the way he was shaped was perfect. His voice made all of my problems go away, and I felt like I was in a dream. I wanted to get to know him better, and I knew that he was the one who could make me feel alive again.
"Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you, but could you walk me to class? I have class 109, and I'm not sure where to find it. I'm a freshman, if that wasn't already obvious," Jamir asked, flashing an astounded smile at me.
My heart skipped a beat as I tried to muster up the courage to respond. "Uh, sure. I can help you," I said, my voice shaking slightly. I couldn't believe that such a handsome guy like Jamir was talking to me.
He nodded as I led the way to his class. "Thanks, I'm Jamir by the way. What's your name?"
"Daijon. My name is Daijon," I replied, feeling nervous and self-conscious under his gaze. "Let me know if you need anything, little freshman. I'm happy to help."
"Okay, see you around," Jamir said as he waved goodbye.
My heart blossomed with excitement and nervousness. I felt like I had finally found a purpose in life. I wanted to love Jamir with all my heart, start a family, and treat him like the king that he was. I was determined that my desire for Jamir would be my motivation for life.
Little did I know what this would do to me. It would turned me obsessed.
/ 𝙅𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙧 𝙋𝙤𝙫 /
"So, yeah. That's my story. That's the story that all leads up to this of course," He laughed, as I wiped the tears coming from my face. I hated that I was crying. I hated that I actually felt sorry for someone like him.
"You killed your own father ... How could you even go through with doing something like that?" I asked him and he just shrugged his shoulders like it was nothing.
"I was taught to kill anyone who gets in the way of my happiness. My father was keeping me from being happy, so the nigga had the go"
"But when you killed him, none of your emotions went away. You were still you. You were still depressed right after"
"Actually I was relieved. I had one less thing to worry about"
"You've became the monster you hated the most. You became your father"
"Fuck that nigga. If he was alive i'll kill his ass again. But this time slowly"
"You're sick" I said while holding onto my stomach feeling like I was about to puke. . "But i'm not even surprised you killed your father. After all, this wouldn't be your first time killing a father now wouldn't it?"
Daijon froze then sighed. "Jamir ..."
"Tell me what happened. Tell me what happened the night my father took you home!" I shouted while jumping in his face.
"You wanna know what happened? Fine" He said getting up out of the chair and backing me into a corner. "Your bitch ass daddy was going to have a restraining order filed on me if I came in contact with you again. He also threatened to tell my mother what i've been doing. But you see, what really pissed me off is when he said I can't be with you no more"
"So what did you do? Say the words. Be a man and admit to what you've done" I yelled.
"I killed that nigga and made it look like an accident" With just those words, I kicked him in the dick then tried to make a run for it.
"God damn, Jamir. I was playing on using that on you tonight" He fell down on his knees while holding onto his dick.
I ran towards the front door trying to remove all the locks from it. Just as I was about to take off the last lock, he grabbed me then threw me on the floor.
"Where are you going to go, Jamir? Back to Latrell? Back to a life where no one loves you besides me" Daijon yelled at me while pinning me down.
"Latrell made me way happier than you ever could. And that upsets you, doesn't it?" I laughed.
"Love you? He ain't love you. The moment you broke up with him he started being with that Asia girl again" He said as I could feel my heart sinking.
"No, you're lying! Latrell would never do me like that" I yelled and he just laughed while pulling his phone out to show me a photoshoot of him and that Asia girl.
"I'm sorry I had to show you this, Jamir, but you've left me no choice" He said while now wiping the tears that were coming from my eyes. "Latrell never loved you. He just used you. You see the moment y'all break up he goes running back to do photoshoots with Asia the day after?"
"This can't be true ... This can't be real. He said he loved me!" I cried while looking back on all the memories I had with Latrell. They were all a lie. Those talks with him, those times I spent venting to him. The way he was there for me when my father had died. None of it was genuine at all. What the hell was I thinking?
"You put your trust in a nigga, stupid hoe how you'd figuraaaa" Daijon teased me.
"Fuck you" I yelled.
"Jamir this is why you're better off with me. No one will love you the day I do. No one will care for you. Can't you see that I saw you in a fake relationship? With fake friends and fake family? They didn't even believe you when you told everyone I was alive. They didn't care, Jamir, but I did. I saved you from all of that by taking you to come live with me in this cabin. So we can grow old and raise our family"
"I'll rather listen to Meek Mill then start a family with you! When will you understand that I will NEVER love you. EVER. You're the person I despise! You're the person I fear becoming" I could tell what I was saying was breaking his heart as I could see his eyes becoming watery.
"Becoming me is something you fear ..." He cried while getting up. I slowly backed into the corner as he went to go grab a book. A very similar book. The manifestation book.
"Why do you have that ..." I asked him, shaking in fear.
"You paint me out to be so crazy when i'm not the one who's obsessed. You're the one obsessed with him. Truth be told, Latrell never liked you. He never wanted to be with you until you wrote in this book about how badly you wanted to date him. Of course, he would turn obsessed with you. Of course, he would go around starting fights with me and shit because he was mentally corrupted to do so because of what you've written. So let me ask you something, Jamir. Who's really the crazy one? Who's really the one forcing someone else to love them?"
"Stop it ..." I begged him. I couldn't take anymore on what he was saying because I knew it was true. I'm just as worse as Daijon.
"You don't want to become me, Jamir when you're already one push away from being worser than me. And i'll make sure you'll feel way worse than I ever could"
"If you're going to kill me just do it and get it over with"
"Kill you? Nah, that'll be too easy. I need you to feel the way I feel about you. Crazy in love and willing to do anything" He said while flipping through the manifestation book to find a clear page. "I'm going to make you fall in love with someone I know you can never be with"
"You're insane" I yelled, as he started to write in the book.
"Not sure when this should affect you, but when it does I wrote in that you're eyes would glow red. I always thought that you'll look good with red eyes. I don't know, just my personal opinion" Daijon yelled.
"What did you write in that book" I shouted as he approached me and covered my mouth to hush me.
"I told you what I wrote. For you to fall in love with someone you can never have. When this finally happens, your eyes will glow red and they'll never change back. Having the eyes of a demon" He laughed while picking me up and throwing me into his room. "This breaks my heart that it had to end like this, Jamir ... but you left me no choice. Have fun rotten in this room" He slammed the door then locked the door.
I didn't even bother to try and break free. I just sat there, crying in the corner wishing that my life was different. Wishing I would've never met Latrell or Daijon. Wishing that I was never born.
𝚃𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚎𝚍 ...
𝙴𝚡𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛/𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜
Two more chapters left.
I love you
&
I hope you enjoyed!