Working on bus seat 🤭—^
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"Well I dunno. I haven't really lived here for more than three days." I said, as the elevator doors opened.
Me and Tubbo walked out.
"Well... huh that puts us into a little predicament, don't it?" Tubbo sighed.
We both walked out of the building, waving out to Minx.
"Well then I get to be your tour guide." He put his hands on his hips proudly. "Alright then Mr. Tour guide. Where we off to?" I said, walking to the front seat of my car.
"Ah-ah-ah. I'm the tour guide. I drive."
"Do you even know how to drive?"
"How dare you assume that I don't!?" He said, fake-offense littered in his voice.
"I just assumed you couldn't reach the pedals."
That earned me a harsh smack on my arm. "Oh, screw you American!" He yelled.
"Just put where we're gonna go into the GPS and I'll drive us there."
He grumbled, and seemed to mock me before connecting his phone to my car and putting in his desired location.
"Drive."
"Yes sir, Mr. Tour guide."
The automatic voice began directing me as I drove out of the parking lot.
"Now if you look to your right, you'll see trees, something not common in the land of the hamburger." He pointed out, in a fake angry tone.
"You're not very good at this."
"Shut up RANBUS!"
I followed the instructions for a few minutes (Tubbo pointing out anything his eyes can see. "Trash can", "bird", "grass", "ew are they making out!?", "BEES!", "rock... another rock.. and another.. this place is very rocky") until the electronic voice blurted out: "your destination is on the right."
I pulled up into a plaza parking lot. I looked at Tubbo, making sure we were in the right place. "Your tour takes it first stop now!"
He hurried himself out of the car. I watched him confused, until his swung my car door open.
I burst out into laughter, before he shoved me out of the car. "Yeah, yeah, now hurry!"
I grabbed my satchel and stood behind Tubbo, waiting for him to lead the way.
We walked to the front of a cafe and I opened the door. Tubbo walked in and I followed from behind.
"Welcome to the first stop: my favorite cafe. Or as the commoners call it: the DiamondHalo cafe. I already know what I'm getting so you should take a look at the menu. They're mostly known for there muffins by the way. There really good."
I nodded and looked straight at the menu. (Most people would have to look up to see it)
I scanned the menu before figuring out what I wanted. "Ready to order big man?" Tubbo asked. I hummed in response.
"Alright." Tubbo walked to the line, that was currently empty.
There was a short male with brown hair and blue eyes behind the counter. He was scrolling through his phone.
"Welcome to the DiamondHalo cafe. What can I get for you?" He said, putting down his phone.
"Oh hey Tubbo." The cashier said, his eyes slightly widening, but then going back to normal size.
"Hey Ant."
'Ant' hummed. "Well what can I do for you two?"
"I'll have the usual if that's alright."
'Usual'? He wasn't lying about the favorite cafe part I guess. He even knows the workers.
"And for you?" He said, looking up at me after typing in Tubbo's order.
"I'll have a coffee please."
"Will that be it?"
"Mhm."
"That'll be eight twenty-three."
Tubbo handed him a ten and told him to keep the rest.
"Oh. And Skeppy asked for you to remember to tell Techno that he and him have 'unfinished business.' Whatever that means."
Tubbo hummed, almost like it was something that accrued regularly.
"Alright, I'll see you later then." He waved to the cashier and he waved back.
"Come on." Tubbo grabbed my arm and dragged me to a booth near the giant window.
I sat down and Tubbo sat in front of me.
"So you weren't lying about coming here a lot, huh?"
"Mhm!" He nodded his head, proudly.
"Got your own usual and know the workers."
"Well Techno's best friend is actually one of the owners, Skeppy. He and his husband run this place, and Ant is really chill. So yeah, we talk sometimes."
I nodded, processing Tubbo's rushed words.
"You're not homophobic, are you?"
Well that was random.
"Heh?"
"Oh sorry, whenever I bring up Skeppy and his husband I get weird looks. Some people don't appreciate the gays. Some homophobes protested this place one time for no good damn reason, actually."
"Ah." I sucked in the air. I thought about my answer for a bit.
"Well I don't think I'm allowed to be homophobic actually." I said, snickering.
He raised his eyebrow.
"Well, considering that I have two moms, my sister's a raging lesbian, and I'm not so heterosexual myself, I don't really think I can be homophobic."
He slowly blinked.
"You're not the straightest ruler in the pencil case, are you?" He asked.
I shook my head.
"I'm as bended as bended gets."
I usually don't say this much about my sexuality to other people, considering the few people I told before made fun of me for it, so the fact I even said that to Tubbo confidently, shocked myself.
"Yeah, me neither."
"Oh really?"
"You're lookin' straight at a pansexual."
"Ah, so we gotta keep you outta the kitchen then."
".... YOU FUCKER!"
I burst out laughing at his sudden realization.
"YOU-YOU DUMBASS! THATS NOT WHAT IT MEANS YOU DICK!"
I coughed, wheezing.
He huffed, and I did my best to calm down my laughter,: (it was currently disturbing the peaceful aura of the cafe. Some people were even staring.)
"Oh, shit!" He grumbled, sort of gasping.
"What?"
"My fault, I've never asked you what your pronouns were! Shit, I knew I was supposed to get better at that.."
Oh.
No one ever really asked me that.
I've always preferred He and they, but no one brought it up, and I was always afraid to correct them.
I tried telling someone one time, but they sort of started yelling at me, telling me I had to use the pronouns assigned to me at birth. That being non-binary 'wasn't a thing.' That I wasn't allowed to have 'no direct gender.'
"Have I been using the wrong ones the whole time?" He looked up, asking me.
He actually sounded sorry, and like he wanted to know.
"Oh, I um- I use he and they.." I said, hoping he wouldn't start yelling at me, explaining how he didn't care.
"Oh, I'm sorry boss man."
"No, no, it's alright."
"No really, my fault I didn't ask earlier." Genuine worry.
"I'm serious... well what about you?"
"Hm..? Oh. I use he and him. Are you non-binary?" He asked.
I nodded.
"I'll keep that noted." He smiled.
I smiled back at him, but stopped when I realized he really couldn't see it from behind the mask.
"Order for Tubbo!" A voice yelled. "Be right back."
Tubbo stood up and quickly came back with two drinks and a bag in his hand.
He handed me my coffee and sat down. He grabbed a chocolate chip muffin from out of the brown paper bag.
He took a sip from his highly sugared coffee.
A good amount of people say I'm weird for this, but I prefer my coffee fully black, no sugar, creamer, or milk.
I think it just tastes better like that.
I sat there and watched as Tubbo took a bite out of his muffin. He furrowed his eyebrows, before raising them in understanding.
"Hm? Oh. Here lemme.."
He turned around in his booth seat, his face basically smushed in the cushion-like back.
"Tubbo-" I giggled.
"I won't peak."
"That's not what I'm worried about- that's actually gross."
"I've seen them clean these seats before, it's fine. Just drink your coffee!" He said, his words mumbled by the seat.
I rolled my eyes and slightly pulled my mask down.
"You know, I could just put the straw under my mask, right?" I said, putting my cup down.
"That's too risky!" He squealed.
I rolled my eyes once more, slipping my mask down and taking another drink from my coffee.
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1388 words
RazsSecretAccount
Detective AU <3