"Was it your first kiss?"
I frowned, not knowing what she was talking about.
"Which one?"
Angie pinched her lips again:
"During the play.
-Yes.
-And was it bad?"
I tilted my head and Angie immediately developed, her cheeks turning red:
"You told Iris that her first kiss would be a disappointment.
-That was because people make too big a deal about the first kiss. It's just a kiss."
Angie bit her lip:
"I am sorry. I could try again to improve."
I tilted my head. Did she say what I thought she said?
"Do you want to try kissing again?"
Angie looked away, her cheeks bright red. Did she really like me? I thought that I had just imagined things but would she insist on kissing again if she wasn't attracted to me? Maybe I was imagining things but I didn't see any other explanation. Should I tease her a bit? Angie crumbled very easily when I was touching her.
"Okay."
I really didn't mind. I was used to touching Angie and I knew that I would always have the upper hand concerning physical touch. Seeing my confidence, Angie froze.
"Are you sure?
-Yes. Why not? You want to do better than last time so I will cooperate."
Angie pinched her lips. She didn't seem completely satisfied with my answer but still seemed ready. I waited for her to come closer to me but seeing that she wasn't moving I tilted my head:
"Do you want to do it later? Or should we do it now?"
Angie looked down and I could guess her eyes changing colors. Knowing that she couldn't make the first move concerning physic touch, I didn' know if I should tease her or take things into my own hands. Should I make her crawl to me or should I grab her and kiss her? I did like both but imagining Angie crawling towards me felt really nice for some reason. It felt so nice that it was weird. I had to quickly forget about it and forced myself to come back to reality.
I bent forward a bit to grab Angie's collar and pulled her towards me before pressing my lips against hers. Angie didn't dare move which made me smile, my lips still against hers. Feeling her frozen, I crawled closer, not letting her go and placed myself on top of her slowly pushing her down on her back. I had my eyes closed but I could feel that Angie's eyes were open. Seconds went by and she was still frozen so I had to open my eyes. Angie's face wasn't red for some reason and her eyes turned glowing gold.
The second our eyes met, Angie placed her left hand around my waist and her right hand on my cheek before straightening up and pushing me backwards gently. I let her do it and laid down on the bed curious about what Angie would do. However the next second my eyes widened in shock. Angie who had been frozen in stupor suddenly woke up and started kissing my lips while still staring straight into my eyes. Her pupils slowly turned glowing silver and it felt like this was a staring contest now. I couldn't lose. I couldn't close my eyes now.
Angie completely towering over me, she pressed me down on the mattress but she didn't dare lay on me holding her weight with the arm that she placed behind my nape. I never saw her eyes that color before. I got so lost in Angie's eyes that I forgot what was going on for a second but woke up when I felt my lower lip be bitten.
"Ah."
A weird sound escaped from my mouth and I was so surprised that I froze. What happened? Angie smiled and didn't give me time to say anything, her tongue finding its place into my mouth. I froze again and I had no idea what to do with my hands. I didn't dare touch Angie for some reason letting my hands fall on both sides of my body. I had no idea what was going on and had no idea how to kiss at all. It was the first time kissing for Angie too but it didn't seem like that at all. At first shy, she suddenly started acting as if my mouth was hers. She licked me for what felt like hours not letting me breathe and I started panting, my cheeks red.
I couldn't think about anything anymore and only endured what was going on. I couldn't keep up with Angie and every second her tongue was somewhere else in my mouth. She didn't stop looking at me for a second, her gaze hypnotizing. This was worse than the look I had when I looked at ice cream during a very warm summer. I had never seen Angie like that and had no idea how to handle this. I closed my eyes, not because of her gaze, but because I really couldn't breathe anymore and needed to focus on it. Having my eyes closed, my other senses became more intense. I could feel my skin burn everywhere Angie touched me and I had no idea which one was my tongue anymore.
It was going on for what felt like hours and I really couldn't breathe anymore pushing Angie away gasping for air. Angie stopped kissing me but I could hear her ragged breathing and even without looking I knew that she was still centimeters from my face, staring at me, waiting for when she could continue the kiss. It took me seconds but I finally calmed down and opened my eyes seeing Angie's eyes the same color as when she started kissing me. I felt weird seeing her eyes like that and had to change the subject. Therefore I grabbed her face and frowned:
"You didn't drink for three months or what? I thought you would drink all my saliva!"
Angie didn't answer staring straight into my eyes. The intensity of her gaze didn't change and I let go of her face feeling that she was still waiting for more. Did she like me this much? Or did she only want to have sex with me? That wasn't the same.
"Angie?"
Angie's eyes finally came back into focus and they slowly turned back to purple which was a more reassuring color. However her pupils never turned completely purple, always having some golden spots in them.
"We said we would try kissing, not that you would eat my soul."
I tried laughing and pushed Angie away so I could get up.
"I have to go to the bathroom."
I needed to drink water and check if my lips were still there. I couldn't feel them anymore and seeing them in the mirror I almost screamed. What was that? My lips had tripled in size and were redder than Santa Claus. I stayed standing for too long and had to grab something. My legs felt very weak for some reason and I needed to calm down. Just thinking about the kiss I felt my intestines twirl and I had never felt that before. I had only thought about teasing Angie but what was I feeling for her? Did I like her too?
I was really natural around her and back then when I pretended that we were dating, I did mean every word. Angie was my best friend and the person I loved most in this world. I would never be happy with anyone else other than her. But was that love a romantic one? Or did I love her as a friend? Prissy told me that it was normal being tactile with friends but was it normal to kiss your friends? I knew that it wasn't and Angie had just kissed me as if she wanted to suck out my lungs.
If I thought about it, it made sense. Angie told me that she wanted to have my face in her next life and I thought she meant it as me being the person she cared about most but she didn't seem satisfied by my answer. Did she mean that I was the person she loved? She was always overprotective of me and put me first in every situation. She even begged me not to leave her. I thought Angie was aromantic but maybe I was wrong. Would someone do all of this for a friend? And would I do everything I did just for a friend? Angie was way more to me than a mere friend but was she more than a best friend?
Wait a second. Was I gay? I was so caught up in the story that not once had I thought about my own sexuality. I did prefer watching women dance and thought they were gorgeous whereas men felt uninteresting but I just thought that was normal. Was I this stupid? How could I not see it? I did have a crush on Astéria for years and not once did I think that I was gay.
"I am so dumb..."
Of course I was gay. I couldn't stop rereading that book again and again and that kiss just now... I felt my intestines do something weird again and I forced myself to stop thinking about that kiss. It seemed I was gay and I had a crush on Angie. But was having a crush enough for wanting to be in a relationship? Did Angie like me too? What should I do? Should I confess? Or should I wait for her as promised? Maybe she thought that I didn't like her that way and she had every reason to. I did say some confusing things. But she knew me better than anyone, wouldn't she notice that I was gay? I thought about it for a second and concluded that she would never notice such a thing.