Summary:
No one could ever love Fizzarolli. And he could never admit to loving someone after being rejected too many times...
At least his older self can't.
Notes:
TW: creepy guy
(17 year old flirting with a 15 year old)
Kissing, rejection, unrequited love
Btw I changed a few tags so, be mindful.
💚Itty bitty imps 6 💚
Present day:
Fizzarolli messed up.
While cuddling with Ozzie when regressed, Fizzarolli spoke the words he promised he never would ever again!
Once he was out of his little headspace, he left Asmodeus. He climbed out the window, and just left. He didn't even bother telling Ozzie, because he was too humiliated to face up to what he had said.
He showed up to work like normal, because he had to.
Asmodeus finds him and walks over to him immediately. "Fizz, thank goodness you're okay; I was worried. What happened?" Ozzie asks.
"I have to get to makeup." Fizz says, not daring to look at his caregiver. He tries to leave, but Asmodeus grabs Fizzarolli's arm.
"Fizz, what is wrong with you?" He asks.
"Nothing is wrong with me, okay? I'm super mega fine; this weekend got me all energized for tonight's show!" Fizzarolli lies, pulling his arm back violently.
His face did not fit the enthusiastic tone he was displaying.
"Fizzarolli, I want the truth." Ozzie demanded.
"I-" Fizzarolli stopped to think about it, Ozzie didn't seem worried about it- but what if he didn't hear him? And now bringing it up would just make him feel uncomfortable?!
"I just did." Fizzarolli says. "Come on, we have a show to prepare for!" He says.
Past: age 15
Sometimes when the circus ended, everyone was so fucking exhausted, they did nothing but collapse into bed and pass out-
But other times, it was easy enough to slip away to their favorite club for a little dopamine (no, they didn't drink alcohol or do drugs! Not like anyone really cared around here how old they were; But Cash would definitely make them work even if they had a hangover...they learned it wasn't so fun pretty early in their teens.)
Barbie instantly ditched Fizz and Blitzo to talk up some strangers. Wasn't that hard to understand, the three of them spent most of their time together, Barbie deserved a break from the guys every now and then.
"I'm going to get us some drinks." Blitzo says.
Fizzarolli smiles and gives Blitzo a thumbs up. Personally, he didn't care for making new friends, he was pretty happy with the ones he had, even if Blitzo can be a bit annoying sometimes.
"Hey, saw your show at the circus the other night. You really know your stuff."
Fizzarolli looks behind him. There was a man, a really creepy man. He was kinda scrawny, but also a few years older and taller than Fizz was. "Uh...thanks, I guess." He says.
The creep touches his face suddenly. "You look so much better without all that paint on you, doll."
Fizz grabs the man's hand to pull it away. "Listen, I'm not interested. Also, I'm fifteen."
"I'm only seventeen; I don't mind, you look pretty mature for your age." The creep laughs, touching his face again.
"Is there a problem here, buddy?" Blitzo asks, suddenly behind them.
"No, no problem. We're just talking." Creep says.
Blitzo set the drinks down on the table. "Right, but it doesn't really look like my boyfriend wants to talk to you right now. Do you want to talk to him, Fizz?" Blitzo asks.
Fizzarolli shakes his head, hoping Blitzo didn't see that he was slightly blushing. "N- no, in fact I've asked him to leave several times." He says.
"You're his boyfriend?" Creep asks.
"Yeah, that's right. So hit the road before we turn you inside out." Blitzo says, smiling at him sadisticlly. "We're circus performers. We can do that."
The guy scoffs and leaves. "Whatever, circus freaks."
"Guess he couldn't stand a little competition." Blitzo shrugs, sitting next to Fizz again.
Fizzarolli wraps his arms around Blitzo and kisses his cheek, which surprised Blitzo immensely.
"Boyfriend, huh?" Fizzarolli asks smugly.
Blitzo blushed slightly. "Hey, I saved you a lot of fucking hassle tonight." He says. "You should just be grateful!"
"Oh yes, thank you. My wonderful knight in shiny armer!" Fizz laughs.
"Shut up asshole." Blitzo chuckles, taking a drink.
"Seriously though...thanks." Fizz takes Blitzo's hand.
Blitzo looks down at his hand and sets the cup down. "Uh, yeah... no- no problem."
Fizzarolli gets nervous suddenly, Blitzo...he was actually- kinda...cute for an obnoxious bitter jealous no good egotistical lousy scoundrel bitch.
Fizz and Blitzo gazed into each other's eyes, Blitzo occasionally looking away before looking back at him.
There was obviously something there- but neither Blitzo or Fizz have ever dated anyone...
None of them were particularly interested in being intimate with each other, but now?
"H-hey- uh. Blitzo? Would you maybe want to uh... I mean, maybe we could-" Fizz didn't really have the words, he didn't really know what he was asking for. His face was brighter red than usual and his breathing increased immensely; he's never felt this way before.
Blitzo blinked a few times, eyes still wide as he stares at Fizz. Suddenly, Blitzo's tail wrapped itself around Fizz's. "Uh, yeah."
Fizz looked at their tails, he couldn't believe what was actually happening right now. "Blitzo?"
Blitzo carefully took Fizzarolli's face in his hands to turns it to face him again.
Fizzarolli's eyes widen even more, his heart beat violently against his chest, his face still burning hot. He leans toward Blitzo until their mouths suddenly made contact.
They kissed deeply as Blitzo wrapped his arms around him.
Blitzo wasn't the worst kisser it turns out.
But wait- he can't date the person he shared a bed with- can he?
No! They work together, they can't do this!
They break the kiss and stare at each other for a moment.
Well, maybe they could. A little. Fizz kisses him again, but this time it lasts a little longer.
~~~Present:~~~
After the show, Fizzarolli went straight home, and this pattern kept going for a two weeks.
He'd arrive late, and leave early to avoid Asmodeus as much as possible, he figured Ozzie would eventually get the message and leave him alone.
Until...
Asmodeus was fed up with Fizzarolli's behavior; he wasn't angry, but when your friend ignores you for two weeks it's normal to feel a little annoyed.
"Fizzarolli, I need to speak with you in my office, now." Asmodeus spoke as a boss now, not as a friend, the other performers looked at him, glad they weren't in Fizzarolli's shoes.
Fizz sighs. "The show is starting in-"
"Now. Fizzarolli!" Asmodeus said loudly.
The other preformers were shocked when they heard Asmodeus's tone, he never spoke that way to Fizz.
Fizz sighs in defeat, there's no avoiding it now. "Yes, sir."
He followed the rooster to his office and they both took a seat.
"If this is you letting me go, just hurry up." Fizzarolli says.
"Shut up." Asmodeus says, not unkindly, but rather annoyed. "I'm not going to fire you."
"Then can you make this fast? The show is starting soon." Fizz rolls his eyes.
"Forget the show, Fizz. What is going on? Why are you avoiding me?" He asks.
"Who says I'm avoiding you?" The imp asks.
"Fizz... please just talk to me." Asmodeus begs. "I just want to understand."
"I just-" Fizzarolli sighs, and covers his face shamefully. "Okay, fine. Do you remember what I said to you when I was regressed?"
"What you...? Oh." Asmodeus got it now.
"I told you that I loved you..." Fizzarolli says.
Asmodeus nods. "You did."
There was a sudden silence but then the two started to explain at the same time:
Fizzarolli: "I shouldn't have said that-"
Asmodeus: "I know I should have said it back... it's just-"
"What?" They both asked.
Fizzarolli spoke first: "No, you- I was just being a kid! Kids say things like that, it doesn't necessarily mean anything, I mean, I do like you, I just-"
"I do love you, Fizzarolli." Asmodeus confessed.
"You...wait, you what?" Fizzarolli asks, shocked.
"Yes, I'm sorry I didn't say anything before. It's just that, I'm supposed to be the embodiment of lust; it just wouldn't be good for my image to go around saying things like that. You do understand, right?" He asks.
Fizzarolli widens his eyes. "Well...yeah. I- uh."
"But, We already keep a few secrets, what's one more right?" The rooster asks, awkwardly.
Fizzarolli looks at Asmodeus with teary eyes.
"Fizz, what- what's wrong?"
~~~Past:~~~
All Fizzarolli really wanted was for someone to love him.
His family sure didn't, his co-workers didn't either... not even his boyfriend.
He hoped when he was bought by Cash and Tilla, that they would be his new family:
Tilla, was the kindest person Fizz knew.
He had been living there for a few months now when Tilla announced: "Alright, kids. Time for bed." She smiled kindly yet firmly.
Blitzo huffed. "No fair! I want to stay up."
Tilla kissed his head, then Barbie's. "Come on, you three. Off to bed." She said again. "We have a big day tomorrow."
"Fine! Goodnight, mom." Blitzo says.
"Goodnight, Blitzo, Barbie. I love you both so much. Sleep well." She said. She turned to Fizzarolli and patted his head. "Goodnight, Fizzarolli. You did great work today." She smiled.
"Thanks..." Fizz said. "Goodnight."
Fizz may or may not have cried himself to sleep that night...
He was property, he was not family... it was about time he knew that.
~~~~
When he was sixteen, Fizzarolli said it to Blitzo, his boyfriend:
It had been a hard day, long hour week, the circus was getting more crowds then ever, which meant Fizzarolli and Barbie had fewer breaks.
Blitzo was sent out every day to do a different kind of work that neither Blitzo nor cash would explain further when asked.
All Fizzarolli knew was that when Blitzo got back from these jobs, he'd come back more emotionally distant, but physically closer when they got in bed.
"Blitzo?"
"What?" He asked; he was so tired, he didn't even move or open his eyes to look at Fizz.
"I love you." Fizzarolli said.
Blitzo opened his eyes finally and sat up to look at Him.
They stared at each other, and Fizz wondered if maybe that was a mistake.
"Yeah... thanks." Blitzo smiled and kissed him deeply- probably just to make him stop talking...or forget.
That wasn't what he had expected Blitzo to say, or do. But, he didn't ask him about it. He just waited for Blitzo to finally say it when he was ready to.
Weeks.
Months.
Years.
He never said it.
~~~
For years Fizzarolli worked for Cash, for the false promise of family and fortune... but it was an empty promise, like a constant void in his life. So, when The Mammon approached him with the opportunity of a lifetime:
"The fans will see you, you'll be adored by millions. Everyone will love you!" He promised.
"They'll love me?" Fizz asked.
"Of course."
How could he possibly say no?
~~~Present: ~~~
"Fizz? What's wrong?" Asmodeus repeated.
"Nothing." Fizzarolli smiles at Asmodeus. "Nothing is wrong." He stands on Asmodeus's desk and hugs him.
Notes:
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