Four years later - Update by me
This was a stupid idea.
I'm aware of that, the more I think
the more I realize how idiotic I am.
Especially having, Rosie, Estelle,
and Alexei in the back seat,
playing with their stuffed animals,
and looking around the area.
"Louis we can't just leave them in
the car by themselves, that's like the first thing tell you when you're a parent!"
He scoffs and runs his fingers through
his hair "I know that! But how else
are we going to do this deal, why didn't Aleksander do this, it's his mafia?!"
I laugh and look at the trailer in front
of the car, I see people
peaking through the shutters, probably questioning why we're
sitting in front of their house arguing
"I didn't tell him," I admit
I don't have to look at him to see
his head slowly turn toward me,
jaw dropped, eyes wide, disbelief plain
on his face "You're joking." I turn to
face him with a guilty smile "I'm not."
He hits the steering wheel and
squeals like a wild animal.
"The one guy who should know and
should fucking be here, doesn't
know his wife, that's with her kids,
her best friend, and his kid, doesn't
know your at a drug dealer's place!"
I cringe at his words and turn back to the trailer house "Okay, now thinking back
it was a bad idea, but I'm pregnant so I'm bound to do stupid things" I blurt out,
and then go still realizing what I told him.
He laughs and looks down at my stomach "You're pregnant again?
and in front of a drug dealer's house!"
Well, I think I've gathered that.
I breathe and think of something to
do, I should just go home,
but I know Aleksander will ask where
I was, and if he figures
out he will be more than mad at me;
Which is understandable but like I
said, I'm growing a human in my body
so I get to make stupid decisions.
"Okay, you should take the kids and
go, I'll do the deal and you
come back to me when I call you."
Louis sighs and holds his head in
his hands, making the kids laugh.
"Marceline, our lives have meaning
now, we can't just go die and no one
will care." He says quietly, We both
look back at three kids in their car seats
He sighs again, and opens the glove box, pulling a silver gun out and
tucking it in his waistband "So, we need
to get out quickly and one of us needs
to stay by the door and watch the car."
That's reasonable, this whole idea
is really stupid, and reckless,
but here we are.
"I've always had better aim,
meaning I should take the gun,
while you stand by the door."
He shrugs and sarcastically
laughs "No argument here."
We start to open the car doors but a
black 2023 Corvette pulls up behind us.
Louis starts laughing in a "we're going
to die" type of way, making my breathing less controlled and my anxiety skyrocket.
The car door opens and I freeze,
Louis is still laughing like a maniac,
rocking back and forth,
not even looking up to see the man.
I start smiling sheepishly, not knowing what's coming next but I'm pretty sure
I won't enjoy it. He walks up to
the driver's side, pulls off his sunglasses, and knocks on the window.
Is he planning on asking for
my license and registration?
Louis turns and realizes who it is so he pastes the same nervous smile
on his face, he pushes down the button
on his door, rolling down his window.
Aleksander leans down and looks
at both of us "Are the kids in here?"
We both slowly nod, saying yes and accepting our fate. Aleksander
looks down, smiles, and laughs.
"You both stay here, don't let anyone
break into the car." He orders,
I scoff and say "No I-" Aleksander
doesn't listen, he walks into the trailer,
not leaving any room for an argument.
Louis starts laughing again, so I hit
his shoulder in a poor
attempt to shut him up, but it makes
him laugh even more.
We stay silent for about ten minutes, randomly glancing
back at the kids who are now sleeping.
and then the trailer
house that Aleksander went into.
He finally walks out, laughing with
some guy who's smiling and holding
a shotgun. They both talk out front
for a few minutes, laughing, coughing, Aleksander occasionally glancing.
The man and him shake hands before
he goes inside and Aleksander walks
back to the car, he opens the
driver's side door and pulls Louis out
Aleksander drops the keys in his hands
and Louis smiles, looking back
at the car and then the keys in his hand
"Don't crash the car, bring it to our
house, we will take your daughter, don't
take forever." Louis looks back at the car and nods then says "I can take them-"
Aleksander gets in the car and says
"It's a sports car, there isn't enough
space and it is not safe,
we will see you there." He closes the
car door and Louis walks to the other.
We wait for Louis to back out so we can
go and the car stays in awkward silence.
I try to think of a good explanation
without sounding like an idiot but there really isn't one. "Listen-" he cuts me off
"No, not now." He says sharply,
he starts the car and backs up,
I try to speak again but he just puts his hand up telling me not to.
I'm not some dog he can just command,
yes what I did was stupid,
but he's not letting me explain my side.
"Stop-" he doesn't let me speak
"No, I need you to be quiet, I can't talk
to you right now, I don't want to yell at
you or say anything
that will hurt your feelings." Looks like
I unlocked Anger issues, Aleksander.
I'm still not dealing with it.
"Aleksander I'm just-" he laughs and
shakes his head "How long were
you in front of that house?" I think
for a second and look at the time
"Probably twenty minutes, Louis and
I were trying to decide what to do."
He nods and stares straight ahead of us
"You, Louis, our kids, his kid, were
sitting outside of a drug dealer's
house, did you know that the man
I walked out with was going to come
see you both before I went it?"
Obviously not.
I shake my head and start to
feel guilty, but mostly angry.
He's allowed to be mad but he
should at least let me explain.
Also, stress isn't good for babies, and
even though the kids are sleeping behind
us they shouldn't wake up to yelling.
I'm not going to tell him I'm pregnant
now, I assume I'm around
six weeks pregnant and I have been throwing up, not too bad yet,
I can still hide it so everything is fine.
When I was pregnant with Alexei
I was sick for most of it, they had
to put a tube in my body
so I could eat without throwing up,
Hopefully, this pregnancy will
be the healthiest.
"I'm sorry, it was stupid, I shouldn't
have gone there." I apologize, trying not
to cry because it's embarrassing. I miss being able to get angry without crying.
I guess it's not that embarrassing, considering I've been pregnant twice
in front of this man, still, I don't like appearing weak so I don't look at him.
"Why did you go? I have employees
that do that job, without children in
their cars." I stay silent, not
knowing how to fix this or what to say.
He runs his hand through his hair in frustration, breathing heavily and
trying to control his anger toward me.
At least he's trying.
"Marceline, tell me why you decided
this was a good idea?" I chew on my
bottom lip and cross my arms, trying
to comfort myself.
"I didn't think it was a good idea,
it was just an idea I had that wasn't
thought through," I say calmly,
The car stops at a red light and he
turns to me "You had them with you,
you had three kids with you."
Technically, I had four if
we're counting the one inside
on me, which makes it sound
even worse but still.
"I won't do it again, I was just trying
to do something normal again,
I'm useful, I can do things that don't
involve having kids,
and feeding kids, just something that
isn't taking care of kids."
God, I sound awful, I love my kids
but that's not the endgame for me,
I still want to do older people things.
I would never intentionally do anything
to harm them, I know I wasn't thinking clearly, I did a ridiculous
impulsive thing and I won't do it again.
"Nobody said you weren't useful,
I know you can do important
things that don't involve kids."
it doesn't feel like it, everyone just
expects me to only want
kids and a husband out of life.
Is it bad that I want more?
We drive up to the gate of the house,
and he puts the code in.
When we drive into the garage
he stops the car and stays inside,
looking ahead, not moving.
I'm over his little fit, I don't know what
he wants me to do about it now. I try to
get out of the car but he grabs my arm
I scoff and pull my arm back
"What now, am I going to get a lecture
on how to be a good parent? I get it, I'm
not good at this, but I'm trying, it was one bad mistake that I won't make again."
He shakes his head and lets go
of my arm, getting out of the car
and opening the second door.
I knew he thought I was terrible
at being a parent, and I'm
not perfect but I'm trying my best.
I open the rear car door and start
to unbuckle Rosie's car seat.
His response is fair, I did something
stupid and he is aloud to be upset, but
not even talking about it is frustrating.
"You're not a bad parent, and I'm
not mad at you, I am surprised,"
he says looking down at Rosie
and Alexei, then back up at me.
"You are all I have, everything else is meaning less, I lost you once,
I can't lose you or them, and there is no
way I can raise kids without
you; so I don't want you to be in any type
of danger, we all need you,
if you want something else then tell me
and I will find a way to give you it."
I pull Estelle out of her car seat and carefully hold her against my chest,
making sure she stays asleep
and I'm not too loud when I speak.
"Okay, but you have to realize that
we're involved with
too much crime to always be safe,
and I want to work, not full time."
He pulls Alexei out of the car seat and pucks up Rosie with his other arm
"That doesn't mean I can't try to keep
you safe, and I can find you jobs
in my mafia, tell me which one you
want, and when you want to do it."
I scoff and shake my head, walking
toward the white garage door
"That's not happening, I know you
wouldn't let me do any of the fun stuff."
He tilts his head and smiles at me
"Depends on your definition of fun stuff."
I roll my eyes "Going on missions, intimidating bad people, the basics."
He closes the car door
"You intimidate all of my employees
when you walk into the building."
I laugh and shake my head.
No, they're scared of him, not me; considering how he talks to everyone, besides his family,I don't blame them,
I open the front door and walk inside
with him following right behind me
"I'm being serious," I tell him in a
strong voice, hoping he gets the point
"So am I," He mumbles
I turn around and glare at him, he sighs
and looks away, I can see him
forming a plan like this is another job,
I guess in some ways it is that.
"Fine, when you are going in a
dangerous area, you take someone
with you." I shrug, and approve.
I assume that's the most reasonable
he'll be, and it's not bad.
Rosie wakes up and grabs Estelle's
hand before falling asleep.
___________________________
𝟧 - 𝟤𝟧 - 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟥
𝖸𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝖼𝗁𝖾𝖼𝗄 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗆𝗒 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝖿𝗂𝗅𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖺𝖽𝖽
𝖲𝗈𝗅𝖺𝖼𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖲𝖾𝖼𝗋𝖾𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍
(𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖺𝗆𝖺𝗓𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗋𝗂𝗓𝗓)