The sobs were now soft sniffles. His messy damp face was wiped by the back of his hand. He was still standing by her bed, not knowing what to say or where to start. Chris was broken when he left Lilly's house and started drawing lines between them, but it was nothing compared to how he was when he almost lost her. When she almost lost her life while trying to protect him.
"C-can," Lilly panted as she tried to talk, making Chris finally lifts his head to look at her. "Can you-u.. help.. me up?"
Chris quickly leaned towards her. He slipped his right hand underneath her back and held her waist with his left to sit her upright. Before he pulls away completely, he adjusted the pillows behind her to make sure she was nestled and safe to be sitting like that.
When he was sure she was okay and was about to step back, Lilly's weak hands held onto his shoulders, stopping him from going any farther. Weakly, Lilly pulled him into her arms, forcing him to sit down on her bed and by her side to make her task easier since she was still terribly fragile.
Chris was taken aback when she pulled him even closer. He stopped breathing when she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and tightened her grip as strongly as her arms allowed. He almost gasped when he felt her bury her face into the crook of his neck. And then his heart clenched when he heard her start to sniffle.
"God!" She gasped, sending shivers to his skin with her breath that brushed his neck. "I thought-t.. I was.. going.. to lose.. y-you." She panted. "I t-thought that.. evil-l thing.. was going to take.. yo-u." Her body started shaking against his. "I th-hought.. you .. I.." By then Lilly was the one crying.
Without looking, Chris knew she was wetting his shirt with her tears. And he was still in shock. Lilly was hugging him and he felt paralyzed. Lilly was hugging him! Lilly was crying for him. He was the one who almost lost her but she was the crying one now. Chris immediately remembered the words she said when he was possessed. When he was trapped inside himself and was trying to fight to get control over his body again.
She was determined to save him. She said she would die for him. She said she would allow that evil spirit to take her but never to hurt him. She said he was.. her other half!
Chris's senses sprang back to life. He felt his body shoots up with energy again and his breath comes back as blood started to circulate properly, finally making it to his stupid brain cells.
Lilly was hugging him while crying on his shoulder and he wasn't hugging back!
Immediately, Chris wrapped his arms around her smaller figure, pulling her closer to his body until they were flushed against each other. He wanted to hold her tighter. He wanted to hug her with all of his might but she was still hurt and weak. One hand rested on the small of her back while the other went to the back of her head to caress her hair.
"Shhh." He shushed her as he gently, very gently, started to rock their bodies from right to left. "Quit crying. You're still unwell. You can't endanger yourself for more." He said in his softest voice.
"I-I can't." She mumbled into his soaked shirt. "J-Just thinking that I.. might've .. l-lost you.."
Much to Chris's dismay, he felt like he needed to pull away. So, softly he moved his hands to her arms and unwrapped them from around his body. He held her two hands in his and dropped them to his lap. "I'm the one who's supposed to say that." He looked down at their hands. "I'm the one who was almost losing you. That night-" He grimaced at the memory of that night. "If it wasn't for Lino being there with us, you could've been.. gone."
"What?" Lilly sniffled while looking at his face.
Chris lifted his head to look at her. He moved one hand to wipe the tears off her face. "You had a cardiac arrest. Lino was fast to apply CPR and call the ambulance." Pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear, Chris sighed in relief and looked at her face. "I can't believe you are finally back. I've been in a living hell since that night. I thought you were hibernated but the doctor said it was a coma an-"
"Wait!.. What?" Lilly jolted. "Was I passed out for long?" Lilly's eyes widened.
Chris nodded weakly. "Yes. You've been in a coma." Chris started caressing the back of the hand he was still holding. He could read the confusion on her face, the fear, and the million questions that were flying in her head. Chris pulled her to his chest and rested her head on it. "Don't think. I'll tell you about it bit by bit. But not now." He paused to pull in a deep breath and fill his chest with her air and scent. "All matters is that you are back to us."
Lilly's arms wrapped around his torso as she let her tensed body relaxes against his. "Will you forgive me, Christopher?" She questioned out of blue.
"What?" Chris thought he heard wrong. He tried to pull away and look at her but Lilly didn't allow him and clasped her hands behind his back.
"Don't! I'm afraid.. I might not.. be able to.. talk while looking at you. Stay.. like that.. please." She pleaded. Chris just nodded and wrapped his arms around her again. "I.. can't take .. this anymore." She gulped. "I wanted to fix.. things before we start anything.. I wanted to.. make sure.. it was safe to.. start this. But I guess.. it is not working. Nothing is.. working.. as long as I'm away from you."
"Lilly, thi-"
"I'm sorry." She cut his words. Her breath was getting unstable again from talking much and that worried Chris. He wanted to stop her but she was determined to let it out. To let her guards and walls fall for him. "I messed up.. so many.. times. I lost all of my chances.. with you. I don't.. have the right.. to ask for your forgiveness. I kn-ow. But.. it had always been you. Even before.. all of this.. starts. And even.. before our bond.. starts to form nine years ago.. It had been you." Lilly pulled away and looked up at Chris.
Chris looked down at her with mixed feelings.
Of course, he was happy that she was finally letting go and almost confessing her feelings. His heart was dancing at this in his chest and he thought she would be able to hear it since she was resting her head on it. His mind was blank for a fraction of a second from her words. His body felt numb. When he looked down to find her eyes glistening with tears, he wanted to tell her directly that he forgave her. Who was he to make her cry like that? He thought.
His bond too, was tricking him and playing with his last strings of sanity. For the first time, she was in his arms and not as her lifetime friend, as the man she called her other half. He wanted to throw all of his rationalism out of the window and just cross whatever lines she had always set between them right there and right then.
But then, he stopped himself. He got into his composed rational mode again. He was still hurt. For nine years, she knew she was hurting him, hurting the both of them, but just carried on with building those walls around herself and running away, ignoring her soulmate who was literally dying out of pain. It's not like Chris was thinking of hurting her back, but he thought it was inappropriate to skip all of this and jump steps ahead without a proper talk because they were just acting spontaneously.
He needed to talk to make sure both of them start on a solid base. Although he knew their bond will always play a big role in their feelings for each other, he wanted to make sure she was sure of finally letting him in.
And that wasn't going to happen unless she was able to talk properly without panting and gasping that much because that too broke his heart. She was fighting her pain to talk.
Once Chris made up his mind, he talked. "You need rest. You need to recover fully and focus on your health other than anything else currently. Let's postpone this talk to later."
"But, Chris, I wa-"
"Lil!" He cut her words, making the girl flinch. He wasn't harsh but he was stoic. When it came to her health, there was no way he would be flexible with her. "It's been already postponed for nine years, since that day. A few more days won't do harm."
Lilly's shoulders dropped as she nodded weakly. She looked down at her hands that were now fiddling in her lap since Chris let go of her and backed away from her. Lilly was probably going to sleep or rest when something popped up in her mind, making her startle and her head shoot up.
"That night by the river, I-I thought I passed.. out.. just like.. what-t happens when I get.. possessed. Wait! How.. did.. you get it out of me?"
"We didn't." Chris uttered, sighing heavily. "It just deteriorated inside of your body."
"What? H-How?" Lilly was even more confused. "T-Take .. me there. It can't just deteriorate .. Like that. There.. must be .. a clue or a remnant.. It-t might b-be st-ill lurking the-re."
"Lilly!" Chris called. "I doubt there will be anything left. It's been a month."
"What?" Lilly gasped. "A-A month? I've.. been in.. coma.. for a month?"