Lilly's breaths were heavy and audible. She just came down from another crying episode that she's been having for the past few days since Lino burst out on her. That day he left and didn't come back, didn't call or even text. Chris was still avoiding her. She was completely alone for those days, curled in her bed all time and crying out loud.
She just realized how she depended on them since she came back.
She just realized how wrong she was and how right Lino was.
True to his words, she shouldn't have come back.
Lilly lied to them. She didn't come back to fix whatever they did before, that was never her primary intention. She didn't want to pay for what they did. Actually, she was afraid. She was the biggest coward of them and that's why she ran away years ago and kept hiding and even cut connections. Because she was afraid.
She was afraid when she felt strange emotions inside her chest for the first time. She felt like crying when she had no reason to. She felt calm and sometimes giddy in situations that required anger. She felt unexplained pain in her chest when she didn't suffer from any disease. Later, when she started accepting her world and learning about how it was, she learned what emotions those were.
They weren't hers. They were his.
Her soulmate's emotions.
Although their bond wasn't fully formed, she could feel him strongly inside of her. He was in pain most of the time and that broke her heart into million pieces, but she couldn't do anything. She was already away. And she didn't want to give up to this strange bond. It scared her.
It scared her because she knew they would face the consequences of what they did. It scared her cause she felt they were being controlled by something else. It scared her because she knew they might get punished for the chaos they started because of being irresponsible. It scared her that among all of this oddness, she might lose him after giving up to this bond and acknowledging his presence as her other half because of how twisted this world was. And she couldn't bear that pain. She tasted painful loss once, and she wasn't ready to have another taste of it.
That's why Lilly ignored how the incomplete bond tortured both of them and how he was in pain. She told herself she was okay with only feeling his presence inside of her. It was the only thing that assured her. His emotions that flared inside her chest assured her even if they were pain or anger.
At some point, those emotions started to feel weaker. Their echo inside of her chest was fainter. That's when Lilly understood he was letting go of her slowly. That pained her, and almost killed her but it relieved her at the same time. He was moving on, she thought. And she promised herself to let go of him too. To let go of this stupid bond. Maybe after that, she would be able to reunite with her friends without being scared of what the bond might do to her.
But she couldn't fulfill those promises. She couldn't when she woke up one morning feeling extremely empty inside of her. As if he never existed. He vanished. The bond vanished and she panicked. Lilly didn't think twice before packing up and booking a ticket to Canada. Her nerves were ticking on her way to where he was. She didn't know if the bond just deteriorated or if something bad happened to him. What if he was sick? What if he was one of the hibernated? Why would the bond disappear completely like that?
All her worries subsided the moment her eyes fell on him while she was cornering The Ghost who held a girl captive. The moment their eyes met, she felt him bloom inside her once again. Her emotions and his were clashing inside her chest, driving her crazy. She did her best in keeping herself composed, but damn! She wanted to run into his arms so bad. She wanted to hold and hug him. She wanted to stay the closest to him. She wanted to never be separated from him once again.
She wanted to finally give up to this bond and let them be together.
She needed that. She needed to be his and for him to be hers.
And for that to happen, Lilly needed to let go of her fears and face them instead of running. That's why she decided to pay for what they did years ago. She decided to face the consequences and then, they'll be free with no worries about how the world would turn on them. She wanted to fix everything so when she comes to him and ask for forgiveness and ask him to be with her, she would have no regrets.
But until that, she didn't want to give up to the temptation named 'Chris'. She had a goal to achieve before getting to him. It was just not yet. Every time she looks at his face and she feels herself getting weaker or softening, she tells herself 'Not yet'. But that wasn't in their favor. They both were in great pain.
Just like now.
Lilly felt a strange twitch in her heart that she knew wasn't hers. Lilly gasped and pushed the covers away to sit upright. That twitch turned to squeezes and then she felt her heart clenches. She gasped again, louder than before, and bent down to clutch her chest with her hands. The pain was growing wilder and sharper. Lilly started to groan and squirm in her bed.
Chris was in pain! Physical pain. He was fighting someone or something. He was in danger.
Lilly was still wincing, groaning, and gasping but she pulled out her phone and tried to call him. Tears running down her cheeks like waterfalls blurred her eyes. She was starting to sweat. Chris never picked up, making Lilly panic more.
She overcame her pain and stood up, swaying her way outside the room and downstairs then out of the whole house. She needed to find him. Lilly got in the first cab she found and told the driver Chris's address. The man offered to take her to the hospital from how sick she looked but she refused. While on the ride, she tried to call Lino, hoping he might know where Chris was but the boy didn't pick up too.
Lilly sent him a text, telling him to 'PICK THE FUCK UP. EMERGENCY. CHRIS.' And that was all it took for him to call her frantically. When he heard her voice, he too panicked. He didn't know where Chris was but suggested going to his workplace while Lilly search his house.
The cab stopped in front of Chris's house and in two seconds, Lilly was running to the front door, still clutching her chest. She knocked, banged, and kicked the door while calling his name and crying out the loudest ever that the whole neighbors opened their windows to see what was happening outside.
Lilly fell to her knees on the front porch while panting loudly. Her phone vibrated. She hoped it was Chris or even Lino telling her he found him and he was safe. But that never happened because when she picked up, Lino told her Chris wasn't at the station and didn't pick up his calls too.
Trying not to lose hope, Lino told her "Check the field next to our school where we used to hang out. Chris still goes there from time to time. I'll catch up with you. I'm already on my way."
That field was halfway between Chris's house and the school. Lilly didn't waste any time and pushed herself to her feet and started running to the field. Somewhere in her way, she felt the clenching of her chest eases a little. That was supposed to be a good sign but still, Lilly felt odd. The pain was subsiding from his body and accordingly, from her chest, but still, she felt restless.
When Lilly made it to the field, she was panting vigorously. Not from Chris's pain, but from how fast she ran when she was already out of breath. Once she stopped and bent to her knees to catch her breath, she noticed that the pain was gone. Chris wasn't in pain anymore. There was something else.
Tightness.
She felt tightness as if he was cornered in a tight place.
Lilly looked up to find the field empty ahead of her. She gulped the odd feeling and started walking towards the far end of the field, where tall dense trees lined it, separating it from an old abandoned factory by the narrow branch of the river. Lilly advanced more between those trees through the darkness of their shades that obscured the city lights. Emerging from those trees, Lilly stood facing the running water in front of the factory.
Her eyes fell on a figure that moved lightly in the faint moonlight. That figure stopped, back facing her. Although it was dark, Lilly could recognize that broad back very easily.
"Oh, God!" Lilly gasped placing a hand on her chest. "Chris! I've been looking for you the whole night." She scolded as she walked towards him while he was turning around slowly to face her. "Why didn't you pick the hell u-"
Lilly paused. Her words stopped rolling off her tongue and her steps halted once he completely faced her. His eyes met hers and she froze. Literally. She felt extremely cold that she shivered at the look that those pitch-dark eyes gave her.
"You're not Chris." She mumbled.