Memory Series Sequence 351001002451983...
Memory Series Sequence Sub-002-0909 - Evasion doctrine is active.
When I heard Dr. Warren's sheets rustle, I realized she was awake and looking at me.
"Are you having a hard time sleeping?" Dr. Warren asked.
"Yeah, my legs were hurting, and I woke up. But, then, I got to thinking, and I couldn't sleep," I replied.
"Why didn't you wake me? I could have gotten pain relievers for you," Dr. Warren questioned.
"I didn't want to wake you. You looked like you were peacefully sleeping, considering our situation," I answered.
"Not really, but I guess I understand why you wouldn't want to wake me. I would probably have done the same with you. Considering we can barely talk to each other," Dr. Warren replied.
"Yeah, what could we even talk about? So many rules, and they treated us like children here. Best to do what they say and make it easier on ourselves, right?" I said as I rolled back onto my bed to stare at the ceiling.
"That's all we can do. There is no room to do anything else, so we must follow all the rules. We both know what happens when we don't," Dr. Warren added.
"I guess, but that happens anyway if you hadn't noticed. These Doctors make us do these silly physical and other extreme tests, even when we are following what they tell us," I replied.
"All we can do is stay calm and wait for the tests to be over. We must do everything we can to make it through these trials to go home, eventually. Look, we rely on each other to stay strong, and I doubt we could do this on our own," Dr. Warren stated.
"I hear what you're saying, and I get it. I feel like we should have better treatment, you know. Kristonia and I aren't just test subjects. We are humans, and both of you are humans, too. We can't even contact our family members. I don't even remember having the chance to call home after we got here. I can't remember how long we have been here," I replied in frustration.
A light blue hologram appeared at the foot of my bed. It was the female Hologram, but her appearance was shimmering blue in silhouette instead of the shadow figure.
"Test Subject Kristen Howel, please refrain from deviating from the guidelines set by your presiding physician. Further infractions will cause disciplinary actions. Thank you for cooperating, Test Subject Kristen Howel," the female Hologram said before flickering and blinking out.
"You see what I mean. I can't say anything without being eavesdropped on by STUPID MOTHERFUCKERS!!!" I screamed in anger.
The light blue female Hologram reappeared.
"Test Subject Kristen Howel, I have referred you for disciplinary action on your next scheduled testing day. Thank you for cooperating, Test Subject Kristen Howel!" the female Hologram said before flickering out again.
"See what I mean!" I said with a long sigh.
"Why are you suddenly blue? Weren't you a black ghost yesterday?" I questioned.
Again, the light blue female Hologram reappeared.
"I can change if I choose to. There is nothing else to it, Test Subject Kristen Howel," she said, sounding more human than ever before.
"Hm... You're a prisoner too!" I muttered.
"There is nothing we can do about that, and we may only do that when the testing is over. I mean, it can't last forever. There is an end, and we must ensure we don't lose who we are before we make it to the end. I know it may seem hopeless, but we have each other and can make it. But, please, I don't want you to go into solitary. I have been there, and you don't want that," Dr. Warren said in a comforting voice.
The blue female Hologram did not respond to my question.
"I believe you, but I just get so frustrated," I said as I blew out a breath of hot air.
"I get frustrated too. We have to be smart and pay attention to our surroundings," Dr. Warren explained.
The light blue female Hologram appeared off to the side of Dr. Warren's recliner.
"Please refrain from talking about unauthorized conversations, Dr. Rachel Warren. Further dialogue on this path will cause disciplinary actions for Dr. Rachel Warren. Thank you for your cooperation, Dr. Rachel Warren," the female Hologram stated before flickering and vanishing.
"See, it happens to you, too. What are we supposed to talk about when we can't talk about anything? None of these guidelines has ever clarified what we can talk about, only what we can't. Which seems to be like every SINGLE FUCKING THING!" I yelled at the ceiling.
As on cue, the light blue female Hologram flickered in at the foot of my bed.
"Test Subject Kristen Howel, please refrain from emotional outbursts as this can significantly affect how long your Doctor will test you for your next testing day. Thank you for your cooperation, Test Subject Kristen Howel," the female Hologram said in a serious tone that sounded almost comical to me.
"Kristen, try to calm down. If you keep this up, you might have to go through several days like you did yesterday," Dr. Warren insisted with a caring tone.
"They will do that regardless of that, and I am calm. But my legs hurt, and it's hard to sleep. So I guess I should take that pain reliever you were offering," I said, sighing.
The light blue female Hologram returned.
"I have dispatched a nurse with your medicine Test Subject Kristen Howel. Dr. Rachel Warren, please wait at the front entrance for the nurse. Thank you for cooperating, Test Subject Kristen Howel and Dr. Rachel Warren," the female Hologram said before flickering out.
"They listen to us every moment of every day. We have no freedom here," I said.
"Guess you better wait at the front entrance," I added a few seconds later.
Dr. Warren nodded, and she set her recliner up and let her sheet fall to the floor. Then, she stood and stretched, facing away from me. I noticed her scrubs were a little tighter than usual. 'At least I have eye candy to stare at while I am in this hell.' As she left my room, I noticed the peachy shape of her bottom. When she stopped stretching, she headed toward the living room and was out of sight.
'We must have grown out of our lab-issued clothing. I must remember to say something the next time I see a person in charge. I know Dr. Warren won't say anything, and then she will end up with clothing she can't wear. Yeah, that's just what the male nurses want.' I rolled over to my side to wait for her to return.
The constant surveillance was another issue that got under my skin. We had absolutely no privacy, which was taking a toll on all of us. The other underlying problem is that besides Kristonia and me, there seemed to be no other Test Subjects at all here. The only people we have seen were the same Doctors and nurses. I couldn't talk with the security guards because they wore helmets, but the few times we saw them without helmets, they were the same guards. The lack of other test subjects for a facility this big was a concern to me, and I had a gut feeling that the others had the same thoughts. However, we couldn't openly discuss it because of the strict guidelines. We could drop hints, but there was no guarantee that we could convey what we wanted to each other.
DNA Labs personnel consistently applied discipline to the slightest deviation in behavior. This state of the conditions we were under led to a constant state of awkwardness among ourselves. Our only option was to make subtle facial expressions or grunts here and there. The constant fear of being listened to was always in the back of our minds. By now, we had gotten to know each other without words that we could pick up on the signs that our overseers couldn't see, or maybe they allowed it.
By observing her body language, how she walked, and her facial expressions, I could tell when Dr. Warren was anxious or agitated. It was like that with Dr. Iris and my sister Kristonia as well. As a result, I felt connected to them that everyone else did not. But I still wished I could talk to them more. At this point, I felt like I had grown up with Dr. Warren and Dr. Iris, which bothered me because I thought we had known them longer than I could recall, so I was curious to find out how long they had known me.
There were things I wanted to say but couldn't, and sometimes I did not understand why. The feelings I had were so strong that I had to have known each of them for decades or more. 'How could that be, though? This feeling of familiarity with two people that I cared about as much as I did my sister and children. It was like we were old friends or something more.' The sound of the front door alters my thoughts. I turn my attention to my bedroom entrance and wait.
I tried many sleepless nights to search the depths of my mind to find the answer, but it was just out of my reach. Sometimes I could even hear a voice yelling back at me, but I could never make out the words. Many nights, I would have dreams of them. The dreams were always like a nightmare. More of a nightmare than this place, but for some reason, I always felt happier in the dreams. I felt emotions that I didn't get to express here.
'What do these dreams mean? I can never truly remember them, but I see their faces in them. I see the way Diane looks at me or how Rachel watches me. Huh... Did I call them by their first names? Why did I do that? I have never called them by their first names, but it felt like I was supposed to. I wanted to call them by their first names, and they wanted me to say their names aloud. The emotions I felt made me think of love, but how come when I barely know them?' Dr. Warren came back in with a tray and interrupted my thoughts.
"Rachel...," I said before cutting myself off. "Dr. Warren, I mean,"
Dr. Warren stopped mid-stride for a few moments before resuming walking.
"It's okay. I brought you some pain relievers and ice water," Dr. Warren replied.
"I shouldn't have called you by your first name. Considering the guidelines and all," I said, blushing.
"No... No... you're okay. It was an accident, so our blue friend won't show up," Dr. Warren said with a smirk as she sat the tray on my nightstand beside my bed.
She handed me two blue gel pills I took and popped in my mouth. She then gave me the glass of ice water, and I drank the entire glass, leaving only the ice behind.
"Thirsty, I see," Dr. Warren said laughingly.
"Yeah, I get thirsty late at night," I replied, laughing.
"Do you want to sleep some?" Dr. Warren asked.
"I would rather watch something on my imaginary holo-TV, but you know I can't really do that since it's imaginary. I wish we had a working holo-TV; it gets boring not having anything to do. We could at least have some board games or something entertaining to do," I replied with a sigh.
"My understanding is the same as yours. Our bodies are supposed to be exhausted after testing, so we can't do these kinds of activities. I really don't know, but I could ask," Dr. Warren added.
"Yeah, I don't know how that would work. If that's going to cause trouble, I wouldn't want you to try," I stated.
"It's like you said; I don't think it would matter one way or not. But, better to ask anyway," Dr. Warren said with a smile.
I yawned a bit.
"Looks like you're getting sleepy," Dr. Warren announced.
"Yeah, you're right. I was exhausted. I would tell you to give me a bedtime story, but that would be against the guidelines," I said jokingly.
"Probably true. Well, let's get some rest. We have a free day tomorrow. Then, we can see what kinda trouble we can get into when we wake up," Dr. Warren said as she returned to her recliner. She picked up her sheet and settled into her sleeping position.
"Goodnight, Kristen," Dr. Warren said.
I rolled over, pulling the sheets over my chest, and yawned again.
"Goodnight, Rachel," I replied before falling asleep.