"A party, Hudson? Are you kidding?" Luca snaps as we step out of the cab.
"I just need to meet someone. I fucking said you didn't have to come." He slams the door shut behind him, "We'll be five minutes, max."
We only insisted to come because we were bored out of our damn minds in that hotel room. I know we're in Boston for a reason but it's pretty shit being trapped in a hotel room, when there's a city we haven't seen and time to pass until Violet's ballet tomorrow.
Boston kinda feels like a smaller New York City, a little less chaotic but still packed with those sky rise buildings and liveliness. Violet's in this city. She has been for months. I think I'll always have a fucking vendetta against Boston. Stupid, shitty, city.
We're in a more affluent area, the party house more like a mansion. It's lined with neon lights and people packed out on the driveway. Speakers boom music from the inside, the familiar yelling and cheering. I don't know why the fuck we're here but hey, there's no bad time for a party. Even if my mind's repetitively spinning on one girl.
Luca just shrugs and we follow Hudson inside. Soon, he's vanished within the crowd of people and texts us to say that he'll meet us soon. Cryptic asshole. I didn't bring any of my own weed and it's a little difficult seeing all the alcohol, everywhere. Bottles, cups, kegs.
Parties are harder to go to, than they once were. It's hard to avoid your impulses when it surrounds you. Instead of that, I snatch a cigarette from one of Luca's pack to distract myself.
Black and red strobe lights flash around the house, illuminating everyone before darkening them again. I could feel the eyes on us as soon as we stepped in. We've felt them since me, Luca and Hud were kids and started partying. Young, and we never had trouble with girls. Once, we would have indulged them but our minds are elsewhere. His is with Ria in Manhattan. Mine's with Vy, wherever she is in this stupid, shitty, city.
I lean against a counter, taking a deep drag of the Marlboro but abruptly, a body bumps into mine.
I look up to be met with sharp, black eyes and even darker raven, black hair. Sharply buzzed on the sides but long at the top, half slicked back and half tousled as if it's purposeful. He blinks and then his pink lips turn upwards. Something about him immediately sets me on guard.
"You want something, dude?" My eyebrows furrow.
"Not right now, necessarily." He cracks his knuckles, bending his fingers backwards in a repetitive motion, "Nice to meet you, Everest Jones."
My whole fucking body locks up. I don't know this guy but there's something off about his eyes that toe the line between coldness and devouring curiosity. Like as if when he's interested in you, he wants to fucking eat you whole. A thick, heavy British accent to compliment that and he's like the cunning main character of a thriller.
"What the fuck-" I stand, but a body passes between us and in that fleeting time, he's vanished, "Hey!"
I look around, anywhere but can't spot the same raven, black hair or the suit he was wearing, in the midst of a fucking party. Tie loose around his neck, a recklessness to him.
"Who the fuck was that?" Luca's jaw is tight.
"I don't know." I say, "I don't want to know either."
Violet.
I forgot how much I hate parties. There's not exactly been much time to attend any with constant rehearsals and exhaustion, but the girls from ballet insisted that this one's a must. It's one of the few times I've left campus.
I've made friends with them. I wouldn't call any of them close enough to be people I trust, or confide in but they're nice to be around and talk to.
I also forgot how much I hate parties, knowing Dean and his minions will be at this one.
Regardless, I dressed up and got myself here. Rockley's a shithole but in spite of everything, I've worked on my image. Somehow, between all the misery, I've tried to gain confidence. And I've perfected my fashion sense in the recent months. Fashion's kept me as happy as possible.
Before, I somewhat used to cower from showing my wealth, or dressing like it. But I've embraced it more recently, not caring to hide myself in a cocoon anymore. A white Bottega Venetta satin dress hugs my body, a slit down the side of my leg. My hair's half up with a matching satin ribbon. I look good.
Vanessa, one of the ballerina's links arms with me as we walk into the rowdy party. It's packed in here, despite how grand the house is.
"So, are you looking to get some tonight or are you still with Roman?" Vanessa wiggles her eyebrows, meaning well.
"I was never with Roman. But I'm not looking to get some either." I gently tease her, "I'm honestly only here since you guys forced me out."
"Someone with a face like yours should be at parties. Hell, you should be on magazines, not cooped up in your dorm, Vy." She exclaims, her dark hair swept up in a ponytail, "We'll have fun tonight."
"I'm sure we will." I smile.
I'm most certainly sure we won't. Or I won't.
Not when the boy I detest most is here. Not when even being here feels suffocating, since every move I make in Rockley, in Boston, anywhere here feels suffocating.
Being watched for so long doesn't ever become something you're used to. I've been hyper-vigilant of absolutely everything for five months, and my stomach sinks when I think of how I'm ever gonna be able to get back to normal. Even the slightest noise in my sleep and I jolt awake. The smallest, unexpected touch makes me want to scream because I think Dean's around the corner.
To say he's royally fucked everything, fucked me up, would be an understatement.
Ugh. I wish there was weed somewhere around here. The ballerina's all stick together and I stick by Vanessa, who I know most. They're all already picking up drinks, offering me them but I deny.
Thinking of drinking makes me think of Everest. Of how strong he was to stop. It also makes me think of Gray, and of mom. Anastasia Amory is the cutest baby girl known to man. And Grayson Amory's been sober ever since he was sent to a rehab facility a few months ago. It was after Anna's birth.
I don't know what happened, or what led him there but Sage had assured me that it was for the best. Gray returned sober and has been sober since. He's also set to marry Charlotte Lars soon. Literally, what the fuck.
It makes my head spin. Seriously, if I think about it too much, I feel dizzy.
Grayson. At twenty. Married and with a baby. What the fuck. I shake my head to snap out of that mindfuck and focus on my surroundings. However, I quickly zone in on a certain raven haired boy, who sends me his sharp smile from across the room.
Great. Soon, he's sauntering over, "Do you know?"
Roman stops right in front of me, hands tucked in his slacks with black hair perfectly messy over his forehead. He just casually talks to me, as if eyes don't follow the boy everywhere he steps and many people are looking at us right now.
"What?" I furrow my eyebrows.
He grins, now. If I've learnt anything about Roman Beckett, it's never good news when he grins like a cheshire cat that's secretly out to murder you.
He cracks his knuckles, "So you don't. Oh, this is fun. This is very fun. Interesting."
"What are you on today, Roman?" I stare up at him flatly.
"A boost of adrenaline and a certain sort of excitement. The sort that comes with knowing very interesting things you don't." His grin's starting to piss me off, "Don't you think it's crazy how small the world is?"
"What? You're giving me a headache. It's been five minutes since I walked in the door."
"Have a nice evening, my lady." He tips his head so more of his dark hair fall over his black eyes.
"What am I supposed to know?!" I call as he gives his back to me, walking away with confident strides and his hands dug in his pockets. Sociopathic. I'd say he's much more of a sociopath than a psycho after months of observation.
He doesn't even glance back before he's out of sight.
Dick. A cryptic, manipulative, sociopathic dick. But the closest 'friend' I've made within the months of misery. Somehow, he's been my fiercest protector. For some reason, he has an unyielding loyalty to me.
I've pestered him to death but ever since Hudson disclosed to me that he knows Roman, in the hospital, Roman's lips have been zipped about the subject. He'll easily manipulate the topic into something else, and always end up distracting me.
Now that I think about it, he has the same mysterious air to him as Hudson. I know nothing of value about either of them.
"I can't believe you know him." Vanessa sighs, a weird enchanted note to her tone. She loosens her death grip on my arm now that he's gone.
"Roman?" I grimace.
"You know who he is, right?"
"Sociopath. Unfeeling. Manipulative." I say.
She blinks back at me like I've made some massive crime and then grips me by the arm, "Are you insane, Violet? You seriously don't know?"
I sigh, "I'm sick of not knowing things-"
"Roman Beckett." She's gaping at me like I'm the insane one, "Heir to Beckett Enterprises. Fuck off, no way. You have to be living under one big goddamn rock."
I'm lost. I don't know anything about business. Sage has warned me again and again that it's only right I should know more about the world, about politics. But I like my little world. I don't care for Enterprises or whatnot.
"Am I...supposed to know what that is?"
Her lips part. She's seriously looking at me like I'm a murderer. I feel insecure suddenly. Maybe I should read some books about business. Or turn on the news someday, so I sound less dumb. I don't even know what there is to feel dumb about.
"They only own every big business in the states. Rockley's owned by Beckett Enterprises. Some say that his father bought the school just to keep track of Roman. A conglomerate, they're made of us thousands of businesses they control." She explains, "The richest family to date. Roman Beckett is American royalty, Vy. He could crush, or buy us all."
My back straightens at the information, not being able to comprehend that. At all. The Roman I've known for months now. American royalty. Richest. Conglomerate. Able to crush or buy us all. I don't know why I never thought to look into his last name; I knew he had to come from money if he goes to Rockley.
His fucking father bought Rockley Academy. Who the hell is his father? How can he be so casual as to not ever disclose that to me, or anyone?
Oh. It makes sense. Because everyone else knows. The way crowds part for him or eyes turn to him or people smile at whatever the hell he spews. I was just a naive idiot whose been spending time with the richest heir in America.
"Who's his fath-"
"Oh my god, V!" Casey bounds over, interrupting us. We both look to her because both our names start with V. She looks confused but waves it off, "Whatever. I was meant to catch both of you anyways. There's two new guys everyone's fucking obsessing over. They look hot but in like a bad boy, would fuck the shit out of you, eat your soul way. You have to see."
"Cas, I'm sorry but nobody in the richest parts of Boston are hot in a bad boy, eat your soul way. Not with their little bowties and daddy's money. You find anything with a dick attractive." Vanessa sighs.
"They're not from around here. That's what all the girls are speculating anyways. That's why everyone's fucking obsessing. They're an unseen type of hot. Come on, please!" Cassidy pleads, pushing her red hair off her shoulders.
Vanessa glances at me. I shrug. I have no interest in anyone here and she knows that. She's right, however; the only type of attractive around here is the sickening, pretty boy Dean attractive. Asides from Roman, there's not many exceptions. I get why girls would salivate at something new.
"Fine." Vanessa groans and latches onto my arm, "If I'm being forced to see these hunks, then so are you."
I chuckle and let her lead me away. I'm fine doing anything that allows me to avoid Dean, which has been going well so far. I just want to be here long enough for it to be socially acceptable and then go home to curl up with Leia.
Vanessa grumbles as we trudge into another room, black and red lights flashing, "I swear to god, if they don't make my panties drop, I'm sui..." She completely trails off, eyes bulging, "Holy fuck."
When I whip my head to wherever she's looking, I stop. No, I don't just stop. I lose my breath. I lose awareness of absolutely everything. I lose it all.
I try to blink, look away and look back as if I'm envisioning someone that's not there.
But everyone's eyes are on them. Like they always were in parties back at Kilned. At soccer games, or boxing matches, or anywhere they'd walk. Eyes would pierce them. They've always been magnets, able to lure you right in.
Propriety and restraint. Decorum. The picture of elegance - that's what's been attached to my name. It feels as embedded into my psyche as he is.
Even now, remembering when there was a time where we'd have fought the entire world to get to one another, he still feels as familiar as he did back then. We were forced into submission. We had to comply, to live weeks and months without each other or we'd be hurt. We had to become passive to a pain that ripped right through us.
Those blue eyes lift. And I wonder if he's remembering me, too. Us.
Because time seems to stop where it was heading to, halting as our paths cross again. Him and I. Every bit of me is taut and every muscle is locked when his gaze meets mine. How has it been this long and still, my fingers tingle like they're itching to reach out? My heart picks up pace.
I see him swallow. I see his eyes soften and surrounded with the boisterous party, he looks at me as if his gaze has somehow narrowed. Guys take drinks next to him but he's still trying to figure out if he sees me right.
He's paused, like the life has been sucked from his lungs.
Vanessa's speaking to me but I can't hear her. I can only feel my eyes begin to water. We stare at each other between the flash of the strobe lights around us. Black, red, black. I see him, he's gone, he's back and he's still looking at me.
And I'm trying not to think about how time has passed and months have elapsed yet still, I can't get Everest Jones out of my system. Five months. It's been five goddamn months without Everest Jones. He's here. Right in front of me.
I can't avoid the flood of memories when I shut my eyes. Remembering and remembering and remembering the chaos that was me and him. The one I was forced to run from and the one we'd forced ourselves to forget.
Forbidden and perfect and reckless.
He was floating above the rest of the world and hiding in ballrooms. Dipping across the stage and counting the seconds til dawn in gazebos, being where you're not supposed to. He was the same feeling as hidden kisses and secret whispers. Everything and absolute and consuming. Beautiful and burning.
Everest Jones was my biggest secret. The one that burned us alive.
It's been five months since I've had him to myself like I once did. My legs itch to fucking run to him. To collide with that chest and hide myself in those arms and never, ever come out of the one place I can breathe easy. To finally return home.
But movement catches the corner of my eye.
I spot Dean's platinum blonde hair before Everest does. Everest is still looking right at me, with electric blue eyes that are breaking my fucking heart. My eyes screw shut, a tear slipping down my cheek. And my heart shatters as I realise.
I can't run to Everest. Not now. Not before they can carry out their plan. It'll soil their plans, soil everything they've worked for if I run to him now. If Dean sees him here and figures out why. I need to save him from Dean, one more time. One last fucking time.
If Dean figures it out before the ballet recital tomorrow, we're ruined. We have not survived these many months without each other for this to end in anybody's ruin - except Dean Delaney's.
Sheer will moves me. Because if not for will, I'd fall to my fucking knees and sob until my throat was raw. The last time. I take mediated breathes and try not to crumble as I walk away from Everest, and towards Dean. The last time I'm ever torn away from him. If I ever have to endure this one more time, there'll be nothing left of me to break.
I stare up at Dean. He smiles down at me. I hope to god that he never smiles again after tomorrow. He'll fall, crushed like he was meant to be from the very start. He'll feel every bit of my fucking pain and god, there's enough inside me to move mountains.
I make up some excuse to leave the party in a daze. Dean starts to lead me out, away from Everest.
When I glance back, Hudson and Luca are by his side and they're subtly clutching him back. Because now that Everest has his sights set on Dean, he doesn't see anything else. I knew that'd be the case. But later, he'll regret if he ruins the long game, so I need Dean away from him.
I meet his eyes one more time. Everest's blue eyes fill with anguish, with so many unsaid things and then the anger dissipates into pure, heartwrenching sadness. There's so much youth to him in this moment. An eighteen year old with an absolutely broken heart. I can barely breathe anymore. He's pleading, but I know he knows why I'm doing this.
He's pleading the same plead we've both been crying for the past five months. Just fucking come back to me.
This is breaking me more than anything has these past five months.
We've been torn away from each other so many times, separated for so long. This one moment seems to be a whole other wound in itself. The final kick. The small pulse before a flatline. The last hit to a punching bag. We're tired. So damn, tired that I can see it in our eyes, feel it in the space between us.
We're a worn out punching bag, on it's last leg before it falls to the ground. I don't think we can survive anymore of this hurt. I'm so tired it hurts to move. I'm so empty, so full of pain that I'm beginning to feel like a shell. He looks like one too.
I will, Everest Ronan. I screw my eyes shut and let the last tear fall. Turning away from him, I wipe it away with the back of my hand and leave him behind. I'm coming back to you, baby. Hold on for us. The sun's about to rise on us.
It has to. Because if we're in the dark any longer, we'll lose our grasp and fall. Farther than we can catch each other, faster than we can pull each other back from.
We're so fucking tired. And now, the only thing that can ever revive us, is each other.
a/n
it's crazy how close we're coming to the end. not yet, though, don't worry. i love you all so so much mwah.
all my love <3