March 28th
Mr Unknown (10:23pm): I know you'll be on my side with this. A pub crawl... but just to bakeries #croissantkegs 🥐
Miss Dial (10:26pm): You carb be serious!
Mr Unknown (10:27pm): Oh, but I am! Imagine it now... face down in a barrel of croissants! Amazing! (Also, 1000/10 for the pun! Nice work!)
Miss Dial (10:30pm): Why stop at croissants? Why don't you have a second barrel of scolding hot cocoa too? #livingontheedge #borntobebrave
Mr Unknown (10:40pm): I feel like you're making fun of me. The only reason I'm going to ignore it is your Born to Be Brave reference. Did you just hashtag High School Musical: The Musical: The Series at me?
Miss Dial (10:42pm): Hell yeah! It's a right of passage.
Mr Unknown (10:57pm): Sometimes I question the reason why I keep texting you?
Miss Dial (10:58pm): Simple really. It's for my charm and my wit! Just admit it, I'm the funniest person you know.
Mr Unknown (11pm): Watch that your head doesn't get stuck in the doorframe.
March 29th
Mr Unknown (11:43pm): So my friend told me that when you're messaging someone you don't know, you automatically give them a face and body. So I was thinking, what face and body have you given me?
Miss Dial (11:47pm): Are you drunk?
Mr Unknown (00:03am) I may or may not have had 6 glasses of wine, but that is beside the point.
Miss Dial (00:11am): Go to sleep, Mr Unknown. I'm quite sure you need it.
Mr Unknown (00:12am): In my head you're the most beautiful woman in the world and I'm lucky to have you messaging me.
Miss Dial (00:16am): Thanks, now go to sleep.
March 30th
Mr Unknown (01:23am): FYI, I'm totally a slow to be blocked kind of guy. You'll want to see it all before finally closing the conversation down.
Mr Unknown (10:59am): I want to beg for forgiveness! I'm on my hands and knees here... please ignore my drunk texts.
Miss Dial (10:59am): I hope your head hurts! Now, don't mind me, I'm going back to sleep.
Mr Unknown (11:03am): Back to sleep? It's almost lunchtime and I'm bored. Please entertain me!
Miss Dial (11:05am): 😴 😴 😴
Mr Unknown (11:10am): Fine! I'll be bored by myself then and just bombard you with messages until you entertain me.
Mr Unknown (11:12am): So what do you think about the weather? (Not that I know where you are?)
Mr Unknown (11:14am): I just ordered a croissant and a hot cocoa. Is it barbaric of me to dunk the croissant into the drink? There's no one around to stop me, so I'm just going to do it.
Mr Unknown (11:24am): Note to us both — never do that again. I've now got pastry floating in my drink like little survivors of the Titanic. I'll save you, Jack.
Mr Unknown (11:33am): What's your theory on the Jack and Rose debate? He definitely... 100%... could have fit on the door too. Have you seen the meme about it? There are about six ways they could have both survived.
Mr Unknown (11:48am): Hey, Miss Dial! Did you know squirrels land like superheroes when they fall or jump?
Miss Dial (11:49am): Fine! I'm awake! Happy now?
Mr Unknown (11:51am): Ecstatic!
March 31st
Miss Dial (10:27am): GHSHHGSLJLIFIUIODSTYTYTSY
Mr Unknown (10:29am): Wow! Miss Dial, I never took you for an early morning drinker.
Miss Dial (11:02am): Ok, this is embarrassing. I may have accidentally butt dialled you. I was just out for a jog and had my phone in my back pocket.
Mr Unknown (11:04am): Hello Butt! I'm sure it's a nice one 😉
Miss Dial (11:07am): Do you ever stop? 😂
Mr Unknown (11:10am): Not when I'm talking to interesting and charismatic ladies like yourself.
Miss Dial (11:11am): Dear Lord...
Mr Unknown (11:17am): Do you want me to stop?
Miss Dial (11:19am): *sigh* I'm sure I can cope a little longer.
Mr Unknown (11:24am): Fabulous! Unfortunately I need to go and entertain people with my marvellous mind and body, so yorjkajhjhgyucbwxoixpoi
April 1st
Miss Dial (4:32pm): So today consisted of me tripping over my own feet and colliding with one of my friends, resulting in him being pushed off a boat.
Mr Unknown (4:44pm): Ouch!
Miss Dial (4:48pm): To make things worse, instead of saying 'sorry', I said 'Ha! April Fools.'
Mr Unknown (4:56pm): Did he buy it?
Miss Dial (5:02pm): Of course not! Would you?
April 2nd
Mr Unknown (8:55pm): Song to sum up the day... Johnny Cash — Ring of Fire! If someone recommends a Vindaloo, always say no!
Miss Dial (9:02pm): Awwww, what's wrong? Can't handle your spices?
Mr Unknown (9:05pm): This is not a normal spice! I can't feel my tongue!
Miss Dial (9:07pm): 🥛
Mr Unknown (9:08pm): Thank you 🙏🏻
Miss Dial (9:09pm): That's what friends are for 😁
April 3rd
Miss Dial (1:43am): Hi, are you okay?
Mr Unknown (1:58am): Yeah, I'm good. Unusual to hear from you at this time of night.
Miss Dial (2:04am): Unusual for you to be awake. I'm glad though because now you've responded to me I can contently go back to sleep. Goodnight.
Mr Unknown (8:04am): Soooooo, about last night. Are you going to explain it to me?
Miss Dial (9:25am): I'm not sure. I don't want to make you think I'm weird.
Mr Unknown (10:00am): What makes you think that I don't already?
Miss Dial (10:01am): Harsh!
Mr Unknown (10:01am): Come on, Miss Miss Dial, tell me...
Miss Dial (10:06am): Fine, but one snicker out of you and I'll ghost you.
Mr Unknown (10:08am): Boy Scout Promise!
Miss Dial (10:10am): Yeah right, like you were ever a Boy Scout.
Mr Unknown (10:11am): Ouch! The claws are out this morning.
Miss Dial (10:12am): It was a rough night. So basically, I dreamt you were lost or hurt. I know this sounds crazy but it felt so real. We're literally just text buddies and I can't bear the thought of not having you here.
Mr Unknown (10:15am): I'm touched.
Miss Dial (10:16am): I knew I shouldn't have told you. Now you're just going to think I'm a crazy catfish on the other side of the phone.
Mr Unknown (10:47am): I've never had anyone, in my life, who I can speak to like you. I grow more and more grateful each day that you're in it... (without sounding too weird) you mean a lot to me.
Miss Dial (10:49am): 😌 You mean a lot to me too.
April 4th
Mr Unknown (6:34pm): I'm lost! Send the chopper 🚁
Miss Dial (6:35pm): I hate you so much right now!
April 5th
Mr Unknown (9:02am): I'm sorry. Please come back.
April 6th
Mr Unknown (10:34am): Fine, if you're going to ignore me I will just continue talking to myself.
Mr Unknown (1:56pm): This guy beside me in Starbucks is singing 'Let's Get It On'. The enthusiasm he's singing with deserves 9/10 for effort and 10/10 for creepiness.
Mr Unknown (2:04pm): Turns out it's on repeat.
Mr Unknown (2:06pm): Oh damn! He just eyed me! I couldn't turn my head away quick enough...
Mr Unknown (2:08pm): Oh, no! He's moving closer. I actually need your help now! SOS! 🆘 🚁
Mr Unknown (2:12pm): I made a swift exit and now on my way home.
April 7th
Mr Unknown (7:48pm): I'm having a pretty Amy Winehouse kind of day... 😔
Miss Dial (8:03pm): Better than a Taylor Swift one, I suppose.
Mr Unknown (8:06pm): Oh my god!!! She lives!!! Please let me take this moment to fall to my knees and grovel for forgiveness.
Miss Dial (8:17pm): Apology accepted. I missed you too much.
Mr Unknown (8:17pm): I missed you too.