Amara- Now
"Fuck you! Put him on the phone now!" Gio demands from the living room.
I step out of the bathroom in my robe and in attempt of drying my hair.
I catch sight of Gio as he swaps over to another one of his phones.
"Call me back. Asap!" He slams that phone down before returning to the other phone.
"If you don't tell me he's dead or better, getting seriously hurt in the next five seconds you will never get away from me no matter how fast you run. I'll find you and kill you."
He runs a hand through his hair and pulls it slightly at the roots.
I cringe but immediately head over to him.
"That's not good for your hair." I whisper as I pull his hands from his hair and try not to interfere with his phone call.
I run a hand through his hair in hopes of soothing it from where he had just pulled at it.
"Shut up." He says and rolls his eyes before switching to his other phone and accepting a phone call from there.
"I've called you like a million times." He shouts.
I take my hand from his hair and attempt to move away but he puts his arm around me to pull me back close to him.
"Have you been in touch with Giorgio?" He asks.
Gio takes my hand and lifts it back to his hair, watching me as he does so.
I continue to run my hand through his hair.
"I don't care, I should be able to leave the state whilst YOURE still there and everything not crumble!"
I'm guessing he's talking to Jax.
"Fix it, and leave me out of this." He slams his phone down, turns back to his other one, replies to a text then looks back up at me.
He smiles and pulls me down onto his lap.
"How was your shower?" He asks.
"It was good." Wish you joined me.
"Can we talk, really talk?" He asks.
We do need to talk, we can't go on like this.
I nod and pull myself from him so I can sit on the sofa beside him.
"I love you so much." He tells me.
"This is a very hard part in our lives okay? I'm so happy to be doing it with you though. We are going to get through this." He reached for my hand.
He holds my hand in my lap and squeezes it.
"I need you to know that I am not going anywhere. I love you so much that I would work through anything with you. You couldn't do anything that would make me leave you. Baby or no baby, I'm in this for just you for the rest of my life." He tells me.
"Really?" I ask.
"Yes! I love you so much. Like so much." He smiles.
Gio's smile and laugh is contagious, anytime me he does one or the other or even both I follow suit.
"I feel so bad." I tell him.
"About what?" He asks pushing a wet strand back off of my face.
"About everything." I sigh. "My whole life I've felt useless, stupid and hated. The only thing I was ever seen for was to get married and have a baby. I can't even do that." I admit to him.
We maintain eye contact, he's always been so easy to talk to.
"I'm making you so sad. You can deny it but it's so true. The whole situation is so awful for me anyway but your face anytime there's a negative pregnancy test or a miscarriage makes my heart break even more." I admit to him.
"Babe." He sighs and tries to cut in but I stop him and keep talking.
"You get so angry and upset every-time I act the way I do after a miscarriage but you don't understand how hard it is not to slip into old habits. I know they aren't ideal and I'm trying so hard but between my parents pressure, Jax and Lara, that stupid fucking contract you signed and your sad face I don't know how much longer I can do this." I admit.
"I am not angry." He reassures. "I want what's best for you and your old habits are the worse for you. I know my love or even your brothers love doesn't make up for how shitty your parents are but you don't need them. You never did. The second you let them go, everything will be so much easier." He pulls me closer to him.
Our knees are touching, hands holding onto one another.
"I'll ban them from the house, from our place in Italy, we don't ever have to go back to Italy, we'll block their numbers." He tells me.
"But what if I do all this and they decide they want to try?" I ask, a lump in my throat now forming.
"Mon Coeur." He says in a soft tone. "They won't."
"I know it's harsh but we both know it. Think about all the arguments, everything you've proved to them, they won't change. You deserve so much better, a family that will really show you love. I'll give that to you." He leans up and wipes the tears collecting down my eyes.
"I will give you the and show you the family that truly deserve you." He kisses my forehead.
A family.
The promise of an actual loving family.
I lean into him and he puts his arm around me.
"We'll wait out till the end of the year go get pregnant naturally if it doesn't happen we're going another way. I'm not letting the pressure kill us." He tells me, kissing the top of my head.
"January 1st, no pregnancy, back to the fertility specialist." I nod in agreement.
We don't talk much more that evening, his phone rings but he never answers.
We watch movies and we cuddle and for once it felt like there was a real sense of peace, like we really were going to be okay.
Only I know deep down it's not true but for tonight I will entertain the idea that it is.