A/N: Wow hey! Sorry I took a while on this! I have a few chapters ready now so I'll be able to go back to updating at least once a week!
♪───Ｏ（≧∇≦）Ｏ────♪
You watch silently as the boys make their way inside, looking through your backpack once they are out of sight. Your water bottle was a little more than half full, or was it half empty? To be, or not to be?
That is the question.
You continue to search through the bag, finding a small bag you carried that had a few pads inside, but it only reminded you that you'll have enough for one day at best. You had a few notebooks too, but the bottoms were all fucked up because of the water that busted open.
Too focused on yourself and your minor inconveniences, you fail to notice the scratching sounds that came from the box. But you did see the kids stand up from your peripheral vision. They were staring at the box with a scared look on their face.
That can't be good.
"Uh, hey, you don't have to be scared..." You trail off awkwardly, realizing that your words mean nothing when no one can fucking understand you.
Not giving you a second glance, the kids probably thought they should cut their losses and ditch your ass. They back away and run after Tanjiro and Zenitsu, shouting something you couldn't comprehend.
Curses.
You groan in frustration. You think they'll be okay, after all, they'll have Tanjiro and Zenitsu. It still made you nervous, though. What if they don't catch up to them in time, and they die a horrible and gruesome death?
...
You should probably stop being so pessimistic.
You stand up and walk closer to the box which Nezuko was just vibing in. You put the backpack down next to you, taking off your hoodie since it was getting uncomfortably warm now. You can't help but look at the body that was still there, inhaling sharply before looking away.
"...Is it a bad time to mention that... that I know you're in there?" You say in a soft tone, "I can't stop myself from looking at the dead man's body. It's like... a morbid curiosity thing, you know?"
Of course, Nezuko doesn't answer because you are speaking English, and also because she's probably sleeping.
"It's not like I can dig this guy a grave or anything, either. What am I gonna do? Shoot him a grave?" You sigh through your nose.
Wait.
You don't even have a gun for that joke to make sense! You hate it here!
"You probably can't understand me, but... I still want to talk to someone. I've only been here a few hours, but I already feel pretty lonely. I don't speak Japanese, and I can barely understand it. I feel so left out. And I... I feel..."
You frown, purposely keeping your eyes on the ground because you keep getting the urge to look at the body.
"I don't really know how I should feel. You read about this crap in fan-fiction, but the story was always so convenient, like the main character somehow could speak Japanese, or the main character was somehow the chosen one so they had the strength or power to defend themselves."
You press against the box and cross your arms on top of it, resting your chin against your arm and sigh.
"This is cool and all, but I just want to go back home now. I miss my best bud, Eli, and I miss my dad. You know, there was actually a virus that was going around and for some reason everyone went apeshit for toilet paper and it went out of stock. The code word for it was "The Backstreet Boys were going on tour.""
"I was a pretty bad ass bitch in my world, you know. But... I know that just being here, my death is coming right up on the platter. I might've fucked with the mafia a few times for the funny ha-ha's, but I'm no where nearly as skilled as your bro-uh, as Tanjiro, or Zenitsu. I could probably beat up the average highschooler, but how the hell is that going to help me against man-eating demons??"
"I hope that I'll be able to go back home soon. If my memory isn't as shitty as I poorly remember it to be, then after this, they'll be staying at the Wisteria house to recover from the injuries they're gonna get from here. It never says how long they stay at the Wisteria house, but considering they broke their ribs... I'd say they're going to be resting up for about five to six weeks."
As you're having your one-sided monologue, you fail to notice the small scratching sounds coming from the box. The noise was too quiet, and you were too caught up in your own misery to pay attention to anything else.
It's not easy being so sexy and making it half of your personality.
"I don't know how, but I gotta find some answers for at least how I got here. I am not emotionally prepared for this shit. I'm already so caught up with shit from my home, I don't need this trouble on top of it," You shake your head slightly.
It wasn't like you were abused at home or anything, at least, not ever since your mom died, anyway. But that's a story for another time.
Either way, you were an eighteen year old from the year of your lord, 2023, halfway through the month of January. It's not very relevant, but you remember three years ago when you got sick with the... Uh, you mean, you went to the Backstreet Boys concert. It was a crazy experience, you were sick for, like, two months without even realizing!
Now that you think back though, that's probably why your beloved father had you quarantine so suddenly.
...
You're sure that sickness left you with no side effects.
Anyway, you had dropped out of highschool but that didn't mean you were allowed to run away from school forever. Eli had messaged you that he was having trouble with some of the school material. So you met up with him at the school he still went to, and afterwards, you two walked home together.
Well, you would've been at home by now, but for some reason, you can't remember anything past walking down a sidewalk and a very slow car on the lonely road. It hurts when you try to remember, almost like your body was physically trying to reject it.
That's suspicious...
That's weird...
Anyway, after waking up from that weird dream (mind you that you remember nothing from the dream other than a rubber duck...?), you were somehow in Taisho Era Japan, trying to survive the future threats of man-eating demons and comical miscommunication tropes with your new friends.
You never ask to suffer, but you always do.
You sigh heavily and pat the box: "This was a nice chat, let's do it again sometime."
You move off the box so you can sit properly next to it, leaning against it and close your eyes. You might as well catch a few Z's, there's nothing particularly interesting that's happening at the moment–at least not for you. You can't bury the man yourself, and it'd be foolish to wander off when you have no familiarity with the land.
Aw man. You just realized that you're alone. Well, to be more specific, there's no one who can understand you and your witty commentary! What if you have something really funny to say?! What are you supposed to do then?? Keep it to yourself?!
This is troubling, to say the least.
With these depressing realizations in mind, you start to doze off in the sunlight like a lazy orange cat.
————
Your nap does not last very long.
You're startled awake at a high pitched scream and a loud THUD!! You nearly fall over but manage to catch yourself before you can eat shit. You look up and wildly wipe your head around to find the source of whoever let out that bitch scream.
You widen your eyes and scramble up to your feet. "Woah! Zenitsu!!"
You run over to the blond boy, watching as Shoichi hurries off the other who had passed out. It actually fills you with relief to see Shoichi is alright; at least that stayed the same. You get on your knees and start checking for a pulse. You know he's alive, and that he's somehow fine after falling on his head, but it's just standard procedure you've learned on dealing with an injury to the back of the head.
His pulse is just fine, but you need to wake him up now. You can't risk checking his head yourself, since you don't want to move his head so much just in case there's a spinal injury. (There isn't since, again, he's somehow completely fine from this. But it's better to be safe than sorry.)
You start to rub his cheeks in circular motions... He has soft cheeks.
"Zenitsu...!"
Shit, you actually know what you should do for a bleeding wound from the back of the head, but wouldn't it be funnier if you tried CPR instead?
Oh great, now you're thinking about that episode of the show Red vs Blue! "Grif, why in the hell would you give somebody CPR for a bullet wound in the head? That doesn't make a lick of sense!" Grif then says you're welcome, but Sarge continues to degrade him. "I mean, it's all so damn inconsistent! What would you do if they stabbed me in the toe? Rub my neck with aloe vera?!"
Shoichi crawls closer to the unconscious boy: "Zenitsu! Zenitsu!"
Against your better judgment, you lean down to actually give him CPR because it would've been funny, but you don't get very far because he suddenly opens his eyes.
He stares up at you with wide eyes, then looks at Shoichi.
"Thank goodness! Are you alright? When the room spun around, we got thrown outside," The younger boy explains while you help Zenitsu up, making sure he keeps his head still, "We fell from the second-story window."
"Did we now?"
Zenitsu smiles obliviously, his hand going to the back of his head. Right when he touches it though, you move his hand away so you can better inspect the injury. It's–miraculously–not gushing blood, so that's good. He's not complaining about pain, either. Or at least, he can't sense any discomfort from him.
You sigh through your nose, shifting your arms so that you can pull them into your hoodie. You mess around with the tank top you're wearing as they keep talking.
"You were protecting me, so I'm totally fine. But..."
"I'm glad to hear that. So tell me, why all the tears?"
As they were talking, you took off your tank top with your hoodie still on, then pulled it out from under your hoodie. You put your arms back through the sleeves and hold up the tank top to his head, nudging his own hand away.
Zenitsu looks at you curiously, wondering where the fuck you even got that. He sees red in his peripheral vision, and looks down at his palm. You're about to see if you can wrap your shirt around his head, but he starts to yell bloody murder.
"NOW I GET IT! I FELL RIGHT ONTO MY HEAD, DIDN'T I?!"
"Yes!!"
You shake your head with a soft sigh.
"Hey, Zenitsu."
"Hm?"
Zenitsu looks at you with confusion since you were holding up your folded shirt to his head again. It's too small, you're going to have to rip it if you want to actually wrap it around his head. You grab the bottom of the shirt and start pulling it apart. Or you try to, at least. It's not as easy as it looks in the movies.
You do three dramatic huffs and try again, grinning when Shoichi laughs at your dramatic displays. Clenching your teeth and finally managing to tear it apart, you tear it upward at the seam on the side, then fold it back up long ways.
"Eh, what are you doing?"
You ignore Shoichi's question, mainly because you don't know he's talking to you and because you did not learn Japanese in the short time they were away.
You look at Zenitsu, using your index finger in a "come here" motion. With a blush, Zenitsu shuffles closer, leaning his head forward since he had a good idea on what you wanted to do. You wrap the shirt around his head, making sure you're covering his injury while you're at it.
You double knot the shirt at the side of his head, ignoring how he hisses in pain from the pressure on his wound. But you take it as a good sign that you're actually applying pressure to it.
"That's gonna have to do for now, sweet cheeks," You grab his bloody hand and use your sleeve to wipe off the blood, "When we get to a Wisteria House, you'll get properly treated. I don't have the right materials right now. Normally, I'd C-Collar your ass, but we don't have anything like that, and you're apparently completely fine without it anyway, so it works out."
He smiles hesitantly.
What the fuck did you just say?
"Um.... Yeah... Okay. Th-Thank you, [Y-"
Unfortunately, he doesn't get very far in his thanks when maniacal laughter cuts through the air.
Zenitsu screeches and hugs you in fear, "What's this?! What's this?! What's this?!"
The three of you look towards the door where a familiar voice comes from: "Comin' through! Comin' through!"
The door breaks off the hinges, revealing a beefy teen with a boar's mask on his head. Ugh, it's so much fucking uglier in real life, Inosuke has absolutely no class. You push Zenitsu off you, standing up to push Shoichi behind you. Once you were no longer Zenitsu's shield, he opted to hug Shoichi instead.
"There it is again! The monster boar!!"
Inosuke cackles maniacally: "I'm getting a demonic vibe!"
Inosuke is an empath for real.
"It's him!" Zenitsu cries, "I was able to tell from his voice! He's the fifth survivor! During the Final Selection, he was the first to rush up the mountain, and then he came down the mountain before anyone else! Mr. Impatient!"
Inosuke's body was more muscular than you think you were ready for. There's something oddly off about it. He looks over to Tanjiro's box; you follow his gaze and run to it before he can. You stop in front of the box just as Inosuke gets close to it, too. He skids to a stop right before he can crash into you, but it makes you flinch anyway.
"Cut it out!!"
Zenitsu hurries to his feet, running to you two. He moves to stand in front of you, holding his arms out like T-Posing on Inosuke's ass would do anything.
The boar kid huffs through his mask: "Who the hell are you two? Get out of the way!"
"S-She doesn't speak any Japanese! Her name is [L/n] [Y/n], and I'm Agatsuma Zenitsu! I'm with the Demon Slayer Corps like you!" The blond crybaby informs the other.
"Demon Slayer Corps?" The other tilts his head, "Then I shouldn't have to tell you! We gotta get rid of that thing! Now both of you, get the hell out of my way!"
You don't know what the fuck they're talking about, but using context clues (such as Inosuke drawing his swords, and your memory of the anime, and such), you shake your head sharply.
"I'm not moving! This is Tanjiro's-"
"-Don't argue with me!" Inosuke cuts him off, "In that case, I'm gonna demolish him and that box together!"
He swings his sword up and brings it down right next to Zenitsu's shoulder, the tip of the blade just barely reaching your clothed stomach.
"I said move it!!"
You and Zentisu stand your ground, but you lean away subtle to get some distance between you and the blade. You're starting to remember how much you didn't like Inosuke all that much in the beginning of the anime. Ignoring the fact that you were just as bad as him in your past, this guy is a bit of a dickbag.
"Why, you..."
"Inside this box... Inside this box is something I'm not letting you touch! Something precious to Tanjiro!!" Zenitsu narrows his eyes.
"Oh, hey, come on! What are you talking about? There's a demon inside that box! Don't you get that?!"
"I've known that from the very start! I... I'm going to ask Tanjiro directly myself! So, you... you can just back off!"
Inosuke kicks at Zenitsu's side, then again, then a final time. The last kick sends the blond to the ground. You want to check on him, but your priority has to be Nezuko. You can't let Inosuke get to the box no matter what. He raises the butt of his sword at you, and you're ready to punch at his side since he was open, but Zenitsu tackles the motherfucker to the side instead.
The sword flies out of his hand when it happens, clattering noisily away from him, pissing off the boar kid. He starts hitting Zenitsu's back with his elbow.
"Let go of me, dammit!"
You look at those two and at the sword, making a last minute decision to run over and grab the sword. This, of course, makes Inosuke even more pissed off. He grabs the blond boy's hair and throws him off.
"You're so annoying!!"
You stand in front of the box, the sword sitting uncomfortably in your hands. It's a lot lighter than you thought it would be, and you have no idea how to fucking use it. Your experience lied more with your fists and the occasional metal pipe.
...
No, you don't want to talk about it.
Anyway, you knew from the manga and anime that you needed to swing it the exact direction your blade is angled. But you lacked the experience to make it happen.
"Hey, you-"
Inosuke is charging at you, but he only takes one step until he falls over when Zenitsu grabs his ankle.
"You're not laying a hand on her or that box!" Zenitsu spits out.
Inosuke kicks his foot back, hitting Zenitsu in the face, but Zenitsu was quick to recover and grab ahold again. He struggles to stand up without hands, but he manages to do so.
"That box, and that girl..." Zenitsu grits his teeth, "are both important to Tanjiro and I!!"
Zenitsu uses his hidden strength, swinging Inosuke to the side by the fucking foot. He's quick to redirect his attention to you, then back at Inosuke when he sees where you were looking at. You point Inosuke's sword right at him, both hands tight around the uncomfortable handle.
Inosuke grits his teeth, "Damn you!!"
The boar kid gets up and charges right at you with his fist ready. You dodge to the left then bring the butt of his blade down onto his back. He yelps and falls over, but quickly swings his legs under your own, knocking you down.
You released his sword so you could catch yourself on the ground, however Inosuke was quicker. He moves out of the way and kicks at your ribs.
"OW!! YOU WHORE!!"
You grab his ankle with your left hand and elbow the side of his knee with your right arm. Inosuke buckles from the sudden pressure. He catches himself with his hands, kicking at your head with his free foot. You cry out in pain when it hits your right eye, letting him go. Inosuke takes this moment to tackle you, straddling your hips and bringing his fist down.
You raise your arms to guard your face, his fist punching your forearms once-twice-
You grit your teeth and turn your hips to the side. Inosuke loses his balance and nearly falls over. You push him off you and reverse the tables, getting on his lower back and pin him down by the neck while incidentally slamming his head down on the ground.
"GUH!"
"Oooh!" Zenitsu hisses, "That's gotta hurt."
"Quiet from the Peanut Gallery!!-WOAH!!!"
You had forgotten that Inosuke is flexible as fuck and that he is a weird ass motherfucker. He moves his legs back and locks them around your fucking neck.
"WHAT THE FU-AAH!!"
Inosuke slams his legs down (with your head still in a lock); you fall backwards and hit your head pretty hard. Your world spins as you try to ground yourself from that whiplash. Once again, Inosuke jumps on you, knocking the air out of your lungs and he takes the opportunity to punch you in the jaw.
"You spineless punk!!"
You hear Zenitsu call your name, but you were more focused on the pain. You wish your pain tolerance was higher, it's so ass that the pain was starting to overwhelm you. You tried pushing Inosuke off again, but you were starting to lose strength against him. He was definitely a much more experienced fighter than you.
Inosuke stands up and grabs the nichirin blade that he had discarded. He points it at you and brings it up to the air.
Zenitsu widens his eyes, leaving the box behind to come save you.
"KNOCK IT OFF!!"
"Huh?"
Inosuke lowers his sword at Tanjiro's voice. He barely had any time to react; Tanjiro lets out a war cry, crouching down and punching Inosuke in the ribs in a second. His body was forced back from the powerful punch, letting go of his blades in the process.
"H-He broke his bones!" Zenitsu shrieks, covering his ears.
Tanjiro kneels to your side, helping you sit up. "[Y/n]! Ahh! Are you-"
He bites back his words the moment they leave. You can't understand what he's saying, so there was no point if you were asking if you were okay if he could just see that you clearly weren't.
Still, you smile at him while pressing your hand against your eye.
"Tanjiro."
"Y-Yes?"
"I fucking hate it here."
"Ah... Okay..."
Yeahhh he doesn't know what you said, but you looked like you needed to say that so he just nods and hopes you didn't randomly tell him that your family had died or something.
Tanjiro snaps his head up to scowl at your abuser. "Aren't you a member of the Demon Slayer Corps? It's taboo for us to draw out swords on each other for no reason! And your job is to slay demons, not hurt civilians! But here you are, giving [Y/n] a one-sided beatdown! Is that fun for you?!"
"Uh, actually, Tanjiro," Zenitsu pipes up, holding his hand up as if to interject, "She actually managed to throw in a few punches of her own. It was pretty cool."
Tanjiro chooses to ignore this because he already made up his mind that you could never hurt a fly.
"You're the lowest of the low," Tanjiro snaps at Inosuke, "She has no fighting training and can't swing a sword like we can! Yet here you are hurting her!!"
You look at the redhead in confusion when you hear both him and Zenitsu mention you in his protagonist speech. He stands up and helps you to your feet. You hiss through your teeth and clutch at your ribs. You don't doubt that you broke a rib or two, the pain was nearly unbearable.
Inosuke cackles, "Oh, so that's why? My bad. In that case, let us fight barehanded."
Tanjiro widens his eyes and pushes you behind him. "No! I don't think you get it at all! First-"
Ah, Tanjiro can't lie to himself, despite his words, he does still want to fight the boar kid. But now that you're out of harm's way, he didn't want to fight anymore, not that much anyway.
You squeak quietly when Tanjiro pushes you away when Inosuke charges at him. You stumble forward, so Zenitsu rushes up to you to make sure you don't fall over.
"Zenitsu, are you okay?" You ask him, "I'm sorry I couldn't help out more."
The blond looks at you with guilt, feeling horrible for not stepping in to help you. He was too scared to get hurt, and he just watched as you got beat by the weird kid with the boar's hide.
Removing your hand from your right eye, you reveal how red your eye is. There was a deep gash that split your right eyebrow, nearing close to your eyelid. There was a bruise forming at your jaw from where he hit you. Not to mention, your ribs sounded like they were cracking from every breath you took; they were definitely broken.
Zenitsu felt so horrible.
"[Y/nnnnn]!!" Zenitsu whines out before sobbing, "I'm so sorry! I couldn't do anything to protect you! I'm so weak that you ended up protecting me!"
You sigh, smiling at him in pity. "I can't understand you, dorkatron."
You start petting Zenitsu's head, running your fingers through his surprisingly soft hair, making sure to be careful with the shirt you tied around his head. Shoichi comes up to you with a handkerchief in his hands. He looks worried for your physical (and quite possibly mental) health, holding up to you in offering.
You smile in gratitude, taking the white cloth with a nod. "Thank you."
You think he was offering it to you for you to use, but instead, you grab Zenitsu's chin.
[You had to tilt his head up since he was shorter than you./You move his head down because the fucker was taller than you./You hold his face steady, thankful that you two were about the same height.]
He blushes red from how gently you were touching him, wiping at his bloody nose with careful hands. Since Inosuke stopped beating the shit out of his way before he got seriously injured, all you really had to focus on was his bloody nose.
Once you finish up, you grimace and hand the cloth back to Shoichi. He scrunches his nose, so you took that as a sign to just keep it.
You stuff the handkerchief in your back pocket. You pull your hoodie sleeve down to hold it in your hand, dabbing it lightly on your eyebrow. You hiss from the pain and just give up after like two seconds.
Whatever. You'll clean it better later.
"You need to..." Tanjiro shouts, gaining your attention right when he headbutts the fuck out of Inosuke, "CALM DOWNNN!!"
BAMM!!
"Holy bitch tits!!" You flinch violently at the sound that came from impact.
That was so fucking loud, and it apparently didn't even hurt Tanjiro!! Just how hard is that fucking forehead!?
"Ahhhh! That sound! Are your skulls fractured?!" Zenitsu cries, covering his ears.
You rush over to Tanjiro's side, wanting a front row seat to Inosuke's face reveal. You hadn't been this excited since Dream's face reveal-
Inosuke stumbles back, staring at the ground and the mask slowly slips off.