Dear Kim Taehyung,
I feel comfort when I talk to you like this.
I don't expect any response because I'm afraid of what you would say. Instead, I want to silently let my thoughts slip through and engrave themselves elsewhere since it's sometimes too much to bear within my small self.
You will never be mine, but you will always be my best friend. I will always find myself consciously coming to you and sharing laughter with you. I will always find myself engulfed in the warmth of your smile and your beautiful eyes.
When I come back to my homely sanctuary, your silent presence hung on my walls, and decoration around my side of the room welcomes me back from a long, tiring day. I guess it's become sort of a shrine of you, to be honest.
Everything that I've done so far, have I subconsciously dedicated all of it to the idea of you? I do things that remind me of you. I make things that have a relation to you. I carry things that are you. As if you were right beside me, I consistently still try to feel closer to you. The only thing I have to always bear would be the emptiness I feel as I continue to do them.
I convince myself that this is what I want. This is all I can ask for. This is to the best of my ability that I can do to close the invisible gap between you and me in my mind.
As I continue to wonder, would life be boring without you or BTS in my life? Would I be able to still make it to where I am without knowing you or BTS at all? To you, who has come to me when I least expected it, and when I thought I didn't need you, I really needed you.
You are my purpose.
You are my reason.
With all my love,
Lee Sooyoung