m a d e l y n
All week, I'd had an average of four hours of sleep every night. It wouldn't be all too worrying for some, but my usual average was seven.
After getting home from the charity ball, I spent all night on my bed, crying until my eyes got all puffy and I exhausted myself to sleep. That was about three in the morning.
On Sunday, I couldn't show myself to anyone because of how red and puffy my eyes were. I chose to throw some shades on and go to the mall alone so I could be by myself. My eyes had returned to pretty much normal by the time I got home, and nobody noticed at dinner.
I stayed up crying again that night but remembered to splash my face with cold water before bed so my eyes wouldn't end up so puffy the next day.
Monday and Tuesday were the same, going to school and forcing myself to sit beside Nate so nothing seemed out of the ordinary. It wasn't that I felt awkward around him; it was only that every time I saw him, I wanted to burst into tears again and let him hold me in his arms.
I submitted my drawing of him during art class too. Mr. Joba looked at me really weird when I handed the paper to him with the drawing facing downward and the blank side up. He did eventually look at it, and he told me it was my best one yet.
At night, it was the same as it had been the two days before. Tears never left my cheeks, they just flowed constantly until I was so tired I couldn't cry anymore.
On Wednesday, things changed. I had an AP Chem test to study for, so I skipped lunch and stayed at the library to get some quiet. The only time I saw Nate was after school when he walked with Archer to the parking lot.
That night, I just went to bed. I was exhausted from the days prior and couldn't find any more tears left to cry.
I sat beside Nate in English on Thursday. I distracted myself with the lesson and only focused on my food at lunch. He continued to talk to his friends at the table as if nothing happened, just like I'd told him; we'd be just like we were before everything.
At night, I fell asleep to his voice. He had called me before bed to ask for help with something for school. It was only when I woke up on Friday morning that I realized I had fallen asleep on him while he told me something about basketball.
My heart hurt on Friday. It hurt more than usual. I had no idea why, maybe it was because it was almost a week already since Nate and I broke up and the truth finally set in.
Laying in bed that night, tears formed in my eyes, but I just took a deep breath.
"Not tonight," I told myself. "The party's tomorrow. You have to look your best, Madelyn."
With that, I went to bed.
~~~
Saturday. It had officially been a week, but the days felt as if they blurred together into one giant mess.
I couldn't help but notice that I did my hair the same way I did it for the ball. The only difference this time were the silver butterfly clips I had pinned on. I had butterfly earrings too.
There was a lot of glitter on my face. I figured that if I was going to be a fairy for Halloween, I would have to do sparkly makeup. I took forever perfecting my eyeliner. My eyeshadow was a glittery lavender to match my lilac dress, and I had a ton of highlighter on. My lips were equally as glossy.
The flowy corset dress was hanging in my closet when I went to get it and put it on. I'd had it in there for a long time with no idea where and when to use it. Halloween was it, apparently.
Archer knocked on my door as I was slipping my feet into some silver heels. I wasn't sure if they were the best choice, but they'd have to do. "Let's go!"
"Two seconds!" I yelled back.
I grabbed my tiny purple bag and threw my phone inside before taking my wings from the bed and walking out of my room.
Archer met me by the door. He was in his infamous Troy Bolton costume, talking to someone on the phone. He wore that jersey every year, it was pretty unoriginal.
"Keys," I stuck my hand out, waiting for him to hand me the keys to his car.
He dropped them into my hand, and we got into the car, driving to Nate's house.
We got there at eight, and a few people were already walking all over the place to help set up. I recognized most of them as Nate and Archer's friends from the basketball team.
Nate walked up to us as we got in. "Mimi, can you help them figure out how to stuff the drinks in the cooler? Arch, come with me."
I nodded at his instructions and made my way to the kitchen where I saw three guys huddled around a cooler with drinks in their hands.
"You guys do know there's two coolers, right?" I raised my eyebrow at them and pointed at the other cooler in the corner of the room.
"I told you we couldn't fit all these in one cooler!" Lance exclaimed. "Thanks, Maddie."
"Anytime, guys," I laughed.
After making sure they handled the cooler situation, I moved over to the living room, helping everyone set up the few decorations we had.
I watched Nate from afar, trying to figure out what the hell he was dressed up as. Nothing was really out of the ordinary. He was just wearing a white shirt, some dark jeans. His hair was styled differently too. I was gonna have to ask him later.
Everything was set up by nine, which was when other people started to come. I caught a few people I knew as I walked around looking for Nate. I remembered I had to ask him about where to leave something for his dad.
"Where's Nate?" I asked my brother over the loud music.
"He's getting something from his room!" he screamed back at me.
"Okay!"
Holy shit, the music was loud. I was gonna have to ask someone to turn that down.
I found my way through the crown and up the stairs to Nate's room.
"Dyl?" I knocked. "You there?"
"Yeah, can you come in?" he called out from inside his room.
I inputted the code to unlock his door and entered. "What are you doing up here? Shouldn't you be entertaining everyone downstairs?"
"Can you help me pick out what to wear, miss fairy?" he requested. I couldn't help but notice his lack of a shirt.
"Sure, I've been meaning to ask you what you were dressing up as," I walked to his bed and plopped on. "Show me what you got."
"Okay, so Danny Zuko, right?"
Oh... that made a lot of sense.
"Now I get it," I nodded.
"Yeah, so the black shirt or the white shirt and the leather jacket?" he stared at his two options sprawled out on the bed beside me.
"Unless you have a Sandy, the black one might be a little too basic that people won't recognize who you are," I advised. "So... white shirt?"
He affirmed. "Yeah, I thought so too."
"Anyway," I spoke as he pulled the shirt over his head. "My dad gave me something to leave for your dad. Where should I put it?"
"Probably his office," Nate guessed. "Do you know the code to the door?"
I shook my head.
"I'll come with you then," he offered, leading me out of his room and towards Mr. G's office.
We walked silently until we made it there. Nate inputted the code and let me in. "Just leave it on the table."
I searched in my bag for the business card my dad gave me and put it on Mr. G's desk.
"You look good," Nate complimented me. "I like what you did with your makeup."
I felt heat rise up to my cheeks as I averted my eyes. "Oh, uh, thanks."
There was a short pause before I spoke again, walking towards him to leave the room. "You look good too, Pickle. Although, I don't really like this hairstyle you got going."
"It's weird having my forehead this exposed," he agreed. "Don't wanna do it again."
"We should head back downstairs. I'm sure I wasn't the only one trying to find you," I decided. "You've got a house full of half-drunk teenagers to entertain."
I lost Nate once we found ourselves back on the first floor of the house. He was swallowed by the crowd, and I basically hugged the walls to hopefully find a place that wasn't so packed. I ended up finding Alexia and Lily instead.
"Have you had a drink yet?" Lily asked me, trying desperately to make sure she was heard over the music.
Note to self, get going on making sure the music isn't so loud soon.
"I don't really want to drink tonight. I'm not sure if I wanna drive home or not yet," I replied. "But I am kinda thirsty. Maybe I can get an iced tea in the kitchen."
She nodded at me and dragged Alexia along as we beelined to the kitchen. It was only ten thirty, and I could've sworn I already saw someone running to throw up.
The night was still young, and I already pitied the person in charge of having to clean the place up.
Alexia was drunk an hour later. She was slurring her words and stumbling all over the place. She'd had about three shots, two beers and probably something else. She liked to pregame.
Lily was the best person to have around when a friend was drunk. She was such a mom, and she always made sure whoever was drunk was always safe and supervised. She wasn't much of a drinker, only a can of beer or so was fine for her.
The three of us heard chanting from the living room, and we decided to check it out. Whatever it was, it was starting to form a crowd.
"Okay, so truth or dare, bro?"
There was only one instance of truth or dare I knew of that ever ended well. It led to my mom and dad's first kiss ever. All the others ended in disaster.
Truths and dares were thrown at the players of the game. Most of them were random acquaintances I had, some were more familiar than others. One person that stood out was Nate, and right beside him was a brunette he knew all too well.
And wouldn't you know it, she was dressed up as... Sandra Dee Olsson, plucked right out of Rydell High. It's like the world was fucking with me extra today.
Over the course of the next forty five minutes or so, I saw people run into the pool fully clothed, drunkenly confess their crush, talk about their first kiss, down half a cup of a questionable concoction from the fridge and even strip naked down to only underwear, but there was one different one.
"Truth or dare, Nathan," someone asked.
My ears perked up.
"Dare, dude," Nate hollered. As the crowd cheered. It was clear to me that everyone was hyped to find out what Nate was gonna have to do.
"Kiss your ex."
My heart stopped, and I turned around quickly, chugging the little bit of iced tea left in the bottle I had in my hand. I wasn't trying to see this dare play out. They knew exactly what they were doing, giving him that dare with Andrea sitting right beside him.
I could see Alexia and Lily's faces as they watched everything unfold. Lily's jaw dropped as Alexia jumped up and down, slapping my arm over and over as everyone around us burst into cheers, a few people hollering at the sight before them.
"Holy shit, they're like making out," Alexia gasped, shaking me. I still refused to look. "A lot. Like fully making out."
Spare me the details.
"Guess he's really not over her," I heard someone beside us comment quietly.
I pushed through the sea of people, a hand over my mouth. Through the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of Nate's lips locked on Andrea's.
After seeing that, I refuse to believe I was anything but a fucking rebound. Nobody but myself was going to convince me otherwise.
The claustrophobia slowly dissipated once I was able to find a vacant bathroom upstairs and breathe. Although that was the case, I also found myself throwing up into the toilet within a matter of seconds.
"Fuck," I cringed as I flushed the toilet. "I didn't even drink any alcohol."
I gargled with water from the sink and reminded myself to brush my teeth as soon as I got out of the bathroom.
Somehow, I made myself to Nate's room, picking up the toothbrush I had in his bathroom, mindlessly getting the taste of vomit out of my mouth, but not before throwing up again in the toilet.
I cried on the bathroom floor once the puke taste was gone. I was curled up in the corner, uncontrollably sobbing and trying to catch my breath but only managing to whimper. Tears waterfalled on my cheeks as I worried about what I must've looked like. My makeup was probably trashed.
Slowly, I got up and looked into the mirror, seeing a broken girl stare back at me. There were tear stains on her cheeks and her mascara had started to run a little, but aside from that, she looked put together and her hair remained in pristine condition. You'd probably think she'd just had a long night having the most fun and crying tears of joy.
I swiped away the remaining tears and trudged down the stairs, back into the crowd and towards my brother who seemed to be enjoying the truth or dare game.
"Just spend the night here," I told him. "You can't drive home, and I don't wanna force you to leave now. Just give me the car keys."
His eyebrows furrowed. "You good, Mads?"
I nodded, even though I wasn't. "Yeah, the tiredness just hit me like a brick. Don't worry, I only had iced tea, and I'll get your car home in one piece."
He handed me his car keys. "Okay, get home safe. Text me when you're there."
A thumbs up from me was all it took for Archer to think I was okay. I only had one last thing to do before I left.
"Lils, I'm heading home," I hugged her and Alexia. "Take care of Xia. If you need me, just call, yeah?"
Alexia giggled. "She always takes care of me, don't you, Lily?"
"Yes, I do," Lily grinned at her. "I've got it handled, Maddie. Drive safe."
Before walking out of the house, I glanced back one last time. Coincidentally, the most tantalizing brown eyes caught mine, eyebrows creasing as I offered him a small smile, but only for a second before I left the house and drove away.
Love deeply, love boldly and love selflessly, my parents told me.
Look where that landed me.
♢♢♢
Author's Note
hey guys! sorry i wasn't able to post an update last week. this month's been really hectic for me, and i'm still trying to recover from being sick, so i completely forgot about last week's update. i hope this longer than usual chapter can make up for it, and i also hope you're living for the drama because i definitely am lmao
feel free to comment your thoughts throughout the chapter, even if its just you sharing a memory reading this made you think of.
i'll see you next week if i don't forget again lol
♡,
dani :p
It's really sad how people claim to love and care about you and yet they replace you so quickly.― Unknown