MEGAN POV
Fucking answer me! I shout looking down at my phone. Why won't she answer me!?!
Okay yes granted she did hit me up when we were supposed to meet, and I didn't answer or even show up. BUT that's because I was getting ready to head there, then Pardi hit me up about taking me out. To the hottest club in the city so of course I said yes. Why would I pick a winery over a club, it just ain't me.
But she could atleast answer me right now, like damn. I go to dial her but Lani comes into my room.
"Now I know you not hitting that girl up? You basically with Pardi, let her be" she says
I roll my eyes at her. "But I'm not! I'm not with anyone"
I go back to dialing her but it won't go through. "Did this trick block me!?!" I shout
Laughing. I'm met with laughing. And it's Lani.
"Good for yo ass. I told you to leave her alone"
"Fuck you!" I yell behind her
Well I guess desperate times call for desperate measures. From stalking her page I seen a picture she took outside a school. I quickly Google it finding the school knowing what I'm about to do. I'm showing up to her night class.
"Right here Frank" I tell my driver as we swerve in front of the school
I look at the time seeing that it's 10, meaning she should be coming out right now since her class is over. And that she does, waving to this old white lady.
As that lady goes to her car I make sure she's alone and that it's only us. When it is I hop out the back walking towards her as she's on her phone. Probably ordering an Uber.
"Well hello miss teacher" I say smirking looking down at her
"Ugh not this shit" she says rolling her eyes
"What? I should be saying that. You blocked me!"
"And I have a right to. You stood me up, and I looked like a dummy waiting and expecting you to come"
"And I'm sorry about that....I- I ugh I have so much pressure on me. I- I can't mess up. I can't mess anything up" I say breaking down feeling myself slip
"Okay. Okay. Calm down don't overexert yourself" she says rubbing my back
I look down at her with my eyes blurry from my tears. "I'm really sorry I hurt you Beyoncé...I really do want to know you. I like you" I say pouring my feelings out to her as I blush
She smiles at me.
"Can you come home with me?" I ask
She takes a deep breath, so I put my cute face on.
"Please" I beg her
She lays on my bed in just the long shirt I gave her of mines. With my paci in my mouth I rush to the bed to lay on her. Making her laugh as I do.
I casually rub up and down her leg feeing the smoothness of it. As she rubs my shoulder while I lay on her chest.
We just watch tv enjoying the quietness and company of each other. I grab her right hand playing with her fingers.
"How old are you Beyoncé?"
"Thirty...that scare you?" She says with a hint of laughter behind it
"No. I love my women older"
She scoffs. "What?" I say sitting up with my paci in my mouth looking down at her
"You don't love nobody...probably just yourself" she mutters
I look down feeling tears come to my eyes. "I do...." I mutter hopping off the bed running to my bathroom locking it behind me
I hear knocking on the door. "Meg. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be mean to you. I'm sorry. Let me in please"
"No you a MEANIE!"
"I'm sorry sweetie...I'm so sorry I made you feel bad"
I just cry not believing her. I guess I should've just let it be.
BEYONCÉ POV
Shit! I feel so bad. I know I can be mean sometimes but I see now how fragile she is. I knock on the door begging her to open the door. After sometime I give up and just slide down the door leaning on it.
"Meg, I'm sorry...you make me confused. One minute you're a hard ass that can be cruel and mean. And the next you can be so kind and sweet. I don't know. I have my walls up but when you're sweet and kind you break them down...which has me here with you. I wanna be with you, but I'm scared. I'm scared" I beg feeling my own tears come to my eyes
Slowly the door opens and she crawls out to be. Wrapping her arms around my neck she hugs me.
"I'm scared too. But I'm willing to try" she whispers into my ear then grabs my chin giving me a kiss
As kiss that I couldn't say no to.
"Let me love you Beyoncé..." she mutters as she goes back in for another kiss pushing me to lay down on my back on her carpet floors.
I wake up to someone shaking me.
"Yo. Yo, you gotta get up" I hear
I look up seeing a girl standing over me. Arms full of tattoos and pretty.
I look around not finding Megan.
"Where's Megan?"
"Oh....she's attending to some company, which is why you need to leave"
I scoff sitting up and getting dressed.
"Megan's same ol shit. Says she cares and wants to try to be with me, but then treats me like I'm a bag of shit like I'm no one....I need to stop doing this to myself" I mutter angrily
The girl stands there awkwardly listening to my rant. She says she's going to walk me out and guides me downstairs. As I step onto the last step I hear laughter and me being me I'm going to confront her.
"Hey! Hey! Don't- shit!" The girl mutters as I turn right and follow the sound as she tries to stop me
I walk into the large kitchen doorway seeing Megan standing over a stove cooking with a guy standing behind her with his face in her neck. As she giggles.
Anger fills me thinking about how we kissed and rubbed all over each other. Then how she said she wants to be with me. Feeding me nothing but lies. Lies! Lies I fucking fell for. Feeling drained I just back up, and back up into the girl.
"I'm sorry" she mumbles into my ear
I just shake my head walking to the front door, hoping to never see her or this house again.
THREE MONTHS LATER
I stand in front of my mirror as Mani curls my hair, as I get ready for my date with Alicia and Kasseem.
"Another date this week....seems to me that them two are sticking" Mani smirks at me
"Yes! And I like them. They're honest and we have a good time together" I say blushing
A scoff rings out and I look in the mirror at Trinity as she sits on the side of the tub looking.
"You got a problem Nite?" I ask
"Yeah. Yeah I do... you just gave up on Megan. Didn't even give her a chance. She let you see her little side. You know that's something secret, but she let you in... and you threw it away!"
"No I didn't. She did-"
"LIAR!! You're a horrible person! HORRIBLE!" She shouts cutting me off and runs out the bathroom
Both Normani and I take a deep breath, she lets my last curl fall down to my shoulders.
"I'mma talk to her Bey, don't worry" she says rubbing my back and walks out the bathroom
I stare at myself in the mirror thinking about what Nite said... am I a horrible person?
"Are you okay Bey? , you're so quiet this evening" Alicia says grabbing my left hand
"(sigh) I'm okay.... just thinking about what my friend said"
"And what was that?" Kasseem ask
"Just that I'm a horrible person...well remember when we first met and I was waiting for someone"
"Of course we do" Kasseem says kissing my right hand making us all smile
"Well that person was trying to get back on my good side and I wasn't having it so I blocked that person out of my life completely. And when I was getting ready for our date, she called me a horrible person for quote on quote giving up on the person" I say rolling my eyes
"First you are not a horrible person, that person messed on having a wonderful opportunity with you. But I'm glad they did cause it gives us space. Allows you to open your heart to us" Alicia says rubbing my cheek
I smile already knowing what I want to happen tonight. I'm ready to give myself to them.
I excuse myself before we leave to use the bathroom. When I'm done and am washing my hands I hear heels clicking. I take that as someone just entering into the bathroom.
"So, how's your little date going?" I hear that particular voice say
I take a deep breath and look up into the mirror seeing Megan standing behind me.
"What do you want?" I say in disgust
"I'm still trying to figure out why did you leave me? Didn't we have a good time that night" she says staring at me
"Oh really? I was just for the night since that next morning you had company... more like your boyfriend over as you made breakfast for the both of y'all. Then had your friend wake me up and made sure I left before he seen me. SO do you deserve an explanation, no..... Now excuse me" I say turning around walking to the door
"If you walk out that door you're going to regret it" she says
"Tuh how can I regret something I already do" I say and pull the door but for it to not move
I yank as hard as I can and it doesn't give way.
"Come home with me, Mommy" she whispers behind me as she rubs her hand up my sides
"Get the fuck off of me! Don't try to butter me up" I say snatching her hands off of me
I yank the door again, but it doesn't budge so I continue to pull on it.
"I need you" I hear her mumble
"I-I need you....I'm so lost without you"
"We only spent one night together and that was the last time. You don't need me" I say rolling my eyes
"You don't know what you've done for me.... Yes we spent most of our time talking on the phone, but those times I needed someone to talk to. I can be myself with you, I don't have to pretend with you. You accept me for who I am.... I can be big and little Megan... And I haven't been little in a long time. And I miss you. I miss everything about you Beyonce....so please! Please come back home with me!" she begs as she starts to cry
I sigh running my hands through my hair.
"Why now... Why NOW! I moved on Megan... and I think you should too"
"BUT I CAN'T! I CAN'T. I need you!" She sobs louder now
"I need you!!!"
She starts to throw herself onto the floor having the worse temper tantrum, I've ever seen. She continues to cry and wallow very loudly.... Letting me know she's in her head space. Going against my own will I get down and cradle her in my arms.
I lay in the bed with Megan cuddled up to me, holding me tight around my waist. She's been muttering don't leave me, since we've been in this bed.
I feel bad for having to lie to Alicia and Kasseem saying my friend had an emergency that needs me. Being the sweet people they are, they accept what I say and hope that my friend is better. But little do they know, what was the real reason.
"M-Mommy....I sorry for bothering you"
"Shhh baby girl, it's okay.... I'm here for you"
Sleep doesn't find me as I wish it would but it could simply be because I know this won't last forever. I want it to but I know what Megan and I have going on doesn't last. It never does....
So I just lay here holding Megan as she continues to hold me tight as if she doesn't want to let me go. And surprisingly I don't wanna let her go either. But I have too; she's no good for me, I'm no good for her, better yet we're not good for each other. She belongs to Pardi and I - I don't belong to anyone....nothing to call my own.