Monday, September 28
"Have you been sleeping, Sabrina?" The therapist by the name of Nancy asked. They were seated in her office. This was Sabrina's second appointment since the incident, and the doctor was prepared just in case most of their hour might be spent with Sabrina dissociating.
"I'm sleeping more," Sabrina told her. "I'm still tired all the time. I can't decide if I'm depressed or just tired because I'm pregnant."
"Both things could be the case. What's on your mind?"
"Everything and nothing. If that makes sense."
"How is your pregnancy going?"
"My OB said the babies look good. We find out their gender next week." Sabrina smiled.
"I know you're looking forward to that. How does Niko feel about being a big sibling?"
"He's happy, he asked for one little brother or sister and now he gets two." She smiled, briefly.
The woman nodded, smiling. "Last time, you told me your husband would be going back to work soon. How does that make you feel?"
Sabrina thought for a second before she answered. "I'm happy for him. He needs a break from me."
"Are those his words?"
"What do you mean?" Sabrina asked.
"Did he tell you he needs a break from you?"
"No."
"Then what makes you feel that way?"
"I... I don't know. I never asked him. We took some time apart and it was horrible, but it gave me a lot of time to think about how patient he is with me. I must be exhausting."
"Sabrina, maybe you're not as much of a burden to the people around you as you think you are. You've always had to be so strong for them, so now they're happy to be strong for you. Cut them a little slack."
Back at home, after a quiet car ride home, Sabrina decided she'd talk to her husband and see how he was feeling.
"Amir," she said quietly, but he heard her.
"Yeah?" He stepped out of the closet to see her.
"Will you lay with me?" She felt weird asking that, because she'd never had to ask him before, but she understood, he's only been trying to make sure she's okay.
"Of course." He said taking off his shirt. He climbed in bed and sat against the headboard so she could lay in his arms.
Once they settled in, he released a satisfied sigh.
"How you feelin'?" She asked him.
"I'm good, why you askin'?"
"I just wanted to check on you. Make sure you're doing okay."
"Thank you." He smiled, kissing the top of her head.
She ran her hands up and down his arms and started drifting to sleep, but before she did she whispered, "I love you, Sonny."
"I love you too, Rosalee."
The next morning, Amir was up bright and early, cooking breakfast with Niko. Sabrina came down and sat down watching them.
"Good morning baby," Amir said, walking over and kissing her on the cheek.
"Good morning, daddy." She smiled.
Amir's eyebrows dipped at her calling him that. He liked it.
After breakfast, Austin came and took Niko to school, so Amir and Sabrina had some time to relax together.
While they were lying together, Amir's mind kept snapping back to something he'd been wanting to ask Sabrina about. He'd been leaving it alone because he didn't want to upset her, but now it was digging at him.
"Baby," he said, rubbing her belly.
She hummed a response.
"Can I ask you somethin'?"
"Yeah, what's up?"
"That night in your apartment with Nick," he paused then proceeded, "What did he mean when he said the first time you were pregnant?"
Sabrina adjusted so she could look at him. "After me and Nicholas were broken up, and he got out of his program, I got pregnant... and I terminated the pregnancy."
"Why?"
"My pregnancy with Niko was hard. I had to take a break from school, and Nick was doing everything under the sun. I was hospitalized a lot. When I got pregnant the second time, I knew I couldn't deal with that again."
Amir nodded.
"Nick offered to get a vasectomy, so I agreed it'd be a good idea after a pregnancy scare with another woman he'd been sleeping with in Miami." She paused, "Y'all go all over the country all season long and the women are ruthless." She laughed, generically.
"I'm thinking about taking a year off." He announced after a few moments of silence.
"Why would you do that."
"I need to make sure you good. You been through a lot these past few months. I need to know you're okay and I can't do that being gone most the time."
"Amir, I promise I'm fine. You can't take a year off now. You're about to start the season coming off of a championship." She frowned her face. "I won't let you take a year off."
He shook his head, smiling at her being so worried about him, "And if you feel like you not ok, would you tell me? No matter what?"
"I would. No matter what." She said sitting up and looking at him.
He smiled and stuck his hand out. She smiled and they did their handshake.
"I remembered." She said, excitedly, almost on the verge of tears. She still felt like she was missing pieces of herself, but slowly they were coming back.
"You did." He kissed her forehead. "I love you, Sabrina. I don't think you understand just how much."
"I love you too."
"And I love you guys so much, he said touching her stomach."