The air rushed out of my chest like a popping ballon. Shawn just told me he loved me. I ran his words through my mind again.
I'm in love with you.
I'm in love with you.
I'm in love with you.
It pounded against the inside of my brain.
"Grace," I heard Shawn's voice, quiet and unsure of itself. His words shook as they left his lips. I pulled myself from my thoughts, coming to the realization that I had been staring at him blankly for the past few moments.
When I came to my senses, I observed Shawn's expression. He seemed terrified. His eyes were wide like he was an animal caught in bright headlights, and I noticed him nervously licking his lips as time wore on. I still hadn't said a word.
I'm in love with you.
I'm in love with you.
I'm in love with you.
Suddenly, I lunged at Shawn and crashed my lips into his. When I touched him, it was as if I could feel his body sigh of relief. As moment after our lips met, he pulled my face away from his.
"Is this supposed to mean, 'I love you too?'" he asked. I smiled and gave him a slight nod. His grin then grew so wide that I thought his lips were going to crack. "Oh thank God," he sighed. Shawn brought himself to his feet and picked me up in his arms. He spun around in circles, swinging me through the air, repeating, "You love me back, you love me back, you love me back," under his breath and smiling to himself.
Suddenly, the whole room went completely dark. Shawn stopped spinning.
"Did I just pass out? Am I dead?" He asked the darkness.
I wriggled out of Shawn's arms. "No, you're not dead. I think the power just went out."
"Oh thank God," Shawn replied as he pulled out the flashlight on his iPhone. "That would've been a shitty moment to die, right after my girlfriend tells me she loves me for the first time."
"Shawn?! SHAWN?!" We heard Aaliyah's voice screaming from downstairs.
The two of us hurried downstairs to find Aaliyah. She was curled up underneath a pile of blankets on the downstairs couch, on the verge of tears. The darkness scared her.
"It's alright," Shawn took a seat beside her and wrapped his arm around her, rubbing her shoulder with his large hand.
"What happened?" she asked. She buried her face in Shawn's shoulder. I peered out the window. Snow was coming down even heavier now. A blanket of white covered every inch of the scene that lay before me. It was practically a white out. The thick flakes fell with great speed in front of the window I was staring through.
"The storm's getting pretty bad out there," I explained. "The snow probably knocked down some power lines."
Aaliyah gazed up at me. "When will the power turn back on?" she asked.
Shawn shrugged, "It might take a little while. The storm is supposed to get worse as the night goes on. It's going to be hard for any electricians to get to the power lines."
"Oh," Aaliyah bit her bottom lip nervously.
"Maybe I should head home Shawn," I said while anxiously glancing out the window. "My parents are going to start worrying, and if the storm's only supposed to get worse..."
Shawn pryed Aaliyah from his body and stood up. He then said to her, "Grace and I are going to find some more flashlights, okay? Stay right here." She nodded and burrowed herself underneath the pile of blankets.
I followed Shawn into the kitchen. He dug around on top of the fridge until he found a basket full of candles, flashlights, glowsticks, and batteries.
"You left your car at Tim Hortons, remember?" he said.
"Oh yeah," I slapped my palm on my forehead. How could I have forgotten that?
"I'll walk you home if you really want," Shawn offered to me.
I quickly shook my head. "No, I think I'll stay here. If that's alright." Shawn smiled and kissed me quickly on the cheek. Then we grabbed the supplies and headed back to where Aaliyah was.
"Shawn?" Aaliyah's voice was muffled from underneath the thick blankets. "Where are Mom and Dad? Are they gonna be okay?"
"They're still at work. Of course they'll be okay," Shawn flashed his gaze at me quickly. I could tell that he was unsure of his answer. Trying to provide comfort, I stood beside him and took his hand in mine. I squeezed it. He squeezed back, tighter. While Aaliyah was digging through the flashlights, he leaned closer to me and whispered, "Can you sleep over?" I smiled and nodded.
I knew that staying was the right choice. Aaliyah was obviously on edge, and I could see Shawn's nerves beginning to creep up on him. I didn't know how long it would be until his parents returned home. My parents assumed I was out with Laur, so all I had to do was text them and say I was planning on sleeping over due to the bad weather. They'd understand.
Shawn and I snuggled up on the couch with Aaliyah in between us. The two of us told her made up stories to take her mind off her worries. Time flew by, and when I checked the clock on my iPhone, I realized it was already almost nine. I could see Aaliyah was getting sleepy.
"Tired?" I asked her. She nodded slowly and yawned.
"How about you take her up to bed," Shawn suggested. "I have to...uh...use the bathroom."
Slightly confused by Shawn's hesitation, I took Aaliyah by the hand and led her up to her bedroom. I helped scatter her room with glowsticks while she changed into her pajamas and brushed her teeth. Finally, I helped her into bed and tucked in the sheets.
"Grace?"
"Yeah, Aaliyah?" I knelt down beside her bed so I was at her eye level.
"I like you a lot," she whispered to me, a smile creeping on her face.
"Aw thanks," I smiled back. "I like you a lot too."
"No, like I really like you." Her voice became more serious. "You're not anything like the girls Shawn's brought home before."
"What do you mean?" I asked curiously.
"Well," she tapped her chin in thought. "Usually, Shawn doesn't want me to meet any of the girls. He sneaks them up to his room when he thinks Mom and Dad aren't looking, and then late at night when everyone's sleeping, I hear them leave and go home. But the first time Shawn brought you here, he actually introduced me to you."
I considered what she was saying. I recalled the first time Shawn had brought me to his house, after our first date. He had introduced me to Aaliyah, and I remembered her acting shocked to see me. At the time I hadn't known why, but now I did. I was the first of "Shawn's girls" that he had let her meet.
"And ever since Shawn met you, he acts different. He smiles more, and he actually wants to play with me. Last week he even hugged me, too. He never hugs anyone. Mom and Dad even noticed the difference, too. They said that he's like a little kid again. They said he's happy. I don't think he's been like that in a long time."
I didn't know what to say to this. I was at a loss for words. I hadn't known any of this before. This whole time, I had thought there was another side to Shawn. I suspected that once he came home, he was a happy and loving person. But that wasn't the case. According Aaliyah, he had been the same stone-faced grump at home that he had appeared to be in public. But I had changed him.
I noticed the change. I noticed that he was more relaxed when we were out in public. He didn't mind sharing a piece of his sweet, goofy self. He restricted his snarky comments. Shawn was focusing more on his music; he had improved tremendously in the past few months. Even his attendence in school had been improving.
Aaliyah continued, "I hope you two stay together forever. Now that Shawn's back to normal, my family feels the same as it used to. The way it felt before the accident."
My heart started beating a little bit faster. "The accident?" I quesioned.
"Yes. After it happened, Shawn was really sad at first. He cried all the time. I had never seen him cry before. He cried and wailed so loudly that sometimes I slept downstairs because I couldn't bear to listen to it anymore. We all felt sad because he was so sad.Then once he started crying less, Shawn stopped talking to us. He locked himself in his bedroom and didn't come out. I had to leave food outside his door for him to eat, because he refused to come down and sit at the table. Sometimes I was afraid he was dead, because I wouldn't see or hear him for days. Mom and Dad got so worried about him and they made him leave his door open. They told me it was because they thought it might coax him to come out, but that wasn't the truth. They were afraid he would hurt himself."
"Oh my God," I breathed. Hearing this made me feel sick to my stomach.
"I overheard them talking in their bedroom one night about it. They were so nervous that something bad would happen, so they decided to send him to a therapist. It did get him to talk, but he started being mean. The therapist didn't help. After Shawn started seeing her, he became angry. He started yelling at everyone. He played the guitar so furiously that he broke the strings like seventeen times. I also remember one day, a girl came over to see him. Shawn started screaming at her so loudly that I was scared the neighbors were going to call the police. I had never seen Shawn so angry. I was afraid he was going to hurt the girl, he was so mad at her. After that day, no one else came to see Shawn. He stopped going out with his friends and stayed in his room every day when he got home from school. Then he started bringing the girls home. I didn't like any of them, even though I didn't really know any of them. But I know you, and I like you." Aaliyah ended her story with a smile.
After hearing all this, my heart had cracked. I felt like I was going to throw up. I longed for him to be right beside me so I could squeeze him into the tightest hug possible. I wanted to bring all of his broken pieces back together. I couldn't even imagine the amount of pain Shawn had been through. But why? Now more than ever, the curiousity was eating me alive. I needed to know.
"Aaliyah," I said quietly. "What was the accident?" I asked.
"Well last winter, the day that winter break started..." right as she began to talk, the door creaked opened. Aaliyah and I whipped our heads towards the sound. It was Shawn. I glanced back at her, and she shook her head slightly at me. Her face said, I can't tell you right now. Not in front of Shawn.
"Just wanted to say goodnight," Shawn smiled a wry grin and came over to kiss Aaliyah on the forehead.
"Goodnight Shawn," Aaliyah said. "I love you."
"Love you too," he replied. "See you in the morning." Shawn grasped my hand and squeezed it. Then he led me out of the room.
"Goodnight Aaliyah," I called over my shoulder.
"Goonight Grace," she replied quietly, smiling at me.
After Shawn closed the bedroom door, we headed into his room.
"Shawn," I whispered as we entered the room. "I was wondering about something..." Shawn let go of my hand and sunk down onto his bed. He let out a long, stressed sigh. "What's wrong?" I asked.
"I called my parents," he explained.
"What'd they say?" I asked.
"Neither of them answered."
I widened my eyes. "Where are they?"
Shawn shook his head and furrowed his eyebrows, displaying a pained look. "I don't know. I really don't know."
I sat down beside him and wrapped my arms around him. "I'm sure they're fine."
"Don't try to comfort me," Shawn said. "I know something is wrong. But I'm a big boy, I can handle it."
"It's okay to be scared," I whispered to him. "You're with me. You don't have to pretend you aren't scared."
Shawn let out another long sigh. "I am scared. I'm terrified. I know how dangerous these roads can be during a storm. What if they crashed? What if something bad happened?"
I lay down in Shawn's bed and pulled him down beside me. I snuggled up against him, trying to get him to relax. All of his muscles were tense, like he was flexing for me as I clutched onto him. But I knew it was nothing like that. He was stressed; he was afraid.
"What if they never come back?" he was becoming hysteric now. "I can't raise Aaliyah by myself. She's too young and I know that I'd screw her up."
I desperatley tried to calm him down, "Shawn, you're not going to need to do that. Don't assume the worst. Your parents are probably stuck at work, and the storm might've knocked out some of the cell signal."
Shawn replied, "I hope you're right."
"There's nothing we can do but wait."
Okay, hi. First of all I'm extremely sorry that I haven't updated in forever. Some stuff happened and I just needed to take a break from everything, I'm sorry. But I'm planning to stay for a while, at least on Wattpad. I really like writing so I promise I'll post a new update every Sunday from here on out. I can't just stop writing, because I have some badass twists and turns that I need to show you guys. I'M SO PUMPED FOR YOU TO READ THE REST OF WHAT I HAVE PLANNED FOR THE STORY BECAUSE I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO REALLY LIKE IT ;) Thank you guys so much for being patient and for being so excited for this new update.
-julia
(inspirashawn on Twitter)
P.S. I ALSO MET SHAWN ON JUNE 7TH AND HE WILL FOREVER BE MY FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD OKAY