Life is pain.
And I know that in that pain I must choose.
For one of us to be happy.
I know it's not fair, but I must choose you.
Because if your in pain, then I am too.
♰
~Author's POV~
"Jungkook stop!" Jimin giggles as Jungkook shakes his wet hair, splashing water in the blondes faces as droplets fly everywhere.
"Why would I do that when you seem to cling to me no matter what I do?" The raven muses, grinning as he feels small hands hold the sides of his head to keep him still.
"You know I don't have a choice." Jimin laughs, splashing the water at the raven for emphasis.
Unlike before, Jimin was now wrapped around Jungkook from the front, holding on to the raven for dear life all while trying to keep distance so their bare chest don't brush too often.
You could guess how Jungkook was feeling about this arrangement though.
"Oh sure you do. If we're being honest sweetheart, I think you love the feeling of holding onto me while I'm shirtless." Jungkook teases, pulling the blonde to his body for emphasis as Jimin's face practically ignites.
"D-Don't say things like that Jungkook." Jimin whispers, his blush and small smile betraying him as he tries to keep his face serious. The blonde attempts to push Jungkook's chest away, but the elder only grabs his hand, forcing the blondes palm to stay on his body as he leans closer to Jimin's face.
Shame truly wasn't in his vocabulary.
"What happened to Kookie? If we're close enough for this," He says, gesturing towards their proximity. "Then we should definitely be close enough for nicknames, don't you think Jimin?" He encourages, backing away slightly to see the boys blue eyes widen.
"I-I didn't call you that." Jimin immediately tries to counter, biting his lip immediately after the lie leaves his mouth.
"I'm not deaf Jimin, just because you attempt to cover it up doesn't mean it's not heard. It's okay though." Jungkook comforts, playing with Jimin's earring when the blondes eyes snap to him.
"I think it's cute." He finishes, smirking when Jimin immediately breaks eye contact with a blush.
Jimin didn't give Jungkook the nickname on purpose, it was just something that happened the closer they got and something that would slip out of the boys mouth at times. Jungkook didn't seem like the type of person to enjoy being called something like that though, so Jimin always attempted to cover it up.
"You don't have a nickname for me though." Jimin says after a moment, hesitantly looking up so he can meet amused onyx eyes.
"I have too many for you sweetheart, you just don't notice." Jungkook counters, chuckling when the blondes eyes slightly widen in realization.
"Oh." Jimin whispers in embarrassment, scratching his hair when silence takes over them.
Jungkook looks completely unfazed by the lack of conversation, seeming to enjoy just Jimin's presence as he looks to the sky in thought. The younger feels as if he's suffocating though, treading water as he once again tries to decipher what the ravens thinking in their moment of silence.
He hated that he couldn't read him.
There were always times when they were together that Jungkook would zone out, seeming as if he was in his own little world and in a place that Jimin could no longer reach him. Jimin tried with all his power to read what was going on in the raven's mind, but he always came up blank. Jungkook possibly had the best poker faces Jimin had ever seen, and he hated that he didn't know what the man was feeling. He hated that he didn't know weather Jungkook was happy, scared, annoyed, or even sad. And most of all he hated how little he seemed to know about the elder despite how close they had become.
He didn't want Jungkook to be a mystery.
"Do you wanna play a game?" Jimin ask suddenly, slightly startled when Jungkook's head immediately snaps to him, his black eyes widening as if the words surprised him.
It was probably one of the first times Jimin felt something actually caught Jungkook off guard, but what shocked him even more was the emotion that seemed to be there.
Jimin couldn't pinpoint it..
Before he could try to guess though, Jungkook's face went blank, putting on that familiar mask again as the raven only nods his head.
"How about I ask a question and then you ask a question?" Jimin offers, gulping slightly when Jungkook only stares at him, the man still seeming to be zoned out before a signature smirk crosses his features.
"I hardly call that a game Jimin." Jungkook teases, chuckling when the blonde splashed water at him with a pout.
"Fine then I'll go ask Jennie and Lisa if they wanna play my super cool game." Jimin says, putting emphasis on the words before turning away from the amused man.
Too bad he forgot he can't swim.
Jimin immediately squeaks when his hands leave Jungkook and his feet start to sink, his body suddenly feeling cold and his hands immediately launching out to grab something to support him.
Good thing Jungkook wasn't far.
Jungkook's hand seems to already be outstretched when Jimin tangles around it, the blondes eyes wide as he basically crawls on top of the raven in fear that the man will let go of him.
He may have been embarrassed to touch Jungkook earlier, but not now. Not when he realized he could quite literally drown if Jungkook chooses to let him go.
Even though Jimin isn't amused in this moment Jungkook most certainly is, the raven's eyes crinkling as loud laughs leave his lips, and the sound only continuing when Jimin clings into him tighter.
The blondes fear completely disappears when he hears the unfamiliar sound, separating from the man only slightly so he can witness such a foreign sight.
This was the first time Jimin had ever seen Jungkook truly laugh..
The man holds the small boy to his chest as his shoulders start to slow down and his laughter quiets, continuing to smile when a familiar silence danced between them once more and they stare into each others eyes.
Jungkook can't bring himself to care that he had shown such a burst of emotion in front of the blonde, and Jimin can't bring himself to care that he was completely pressed up against Jungkook with nothing separating them.
They were both just content.
Jungkook doesn't fail to notice that Jimin's no longer pushing him away, but he refrains from repeating another one of his shameless comments for today.
Black eyes stare into blue for what seems like an eternity, and yet neither of the boys break the contact as the raven holds Jimin in his arms. 'Friends' Jimin always called them, but anyone looking at them now wouldn't think twice before saying they're a couple. And though he would never admit it to himself, for just a moment Jimin imagined that they were one. That if Jungkook just leaned down a little further..
"God, your so pretty." Jungkook mumbles, seeming as if he hadn't even meant to say the words out loud as he analyzes Jimin's face. The blondes mouth only opens and closes, attempting to find a response for the words as a dark red crawls up his neck. However, before he can come up with a response, Jungkook cuts him off.
"What's your favorite color?" Jungkook suddenly ask, not failing to catch Jimin's eyes dart to his lips a second earlier. He wanted to know what the boy was thinking, but he supposed he would have to settle for the game Jimin had proposed earlier.
'Pink.' He mentally answers the question before the blonde has a chance to think, but he still waits for Jimin's answer non the less.
"Pink." Jimin answers after a moment, noting the way Jungkook's lip tugs at the word. "Or white sometimes, it depends." He continues.
"How about you?" The boy asks, the word 'black' echoing in his head right after he utters the question. It was no question that it was the ravens favorite color, but Jimin wanted to ask none the less. To his surprise that's not what comes out of the man's mouth though.
"Blue." Jungkook says without hesitation, refusing to break eye contact as Jimin's ears start to turn pink.
Surely that wasn't why.. right?
"Worst fear?" Jungkook ask immediately.
"The dark." Jimin answers, making Jungkook only look amused. "You?" he repeats, tilting his head in genuine curiosity.
"Don't have one." The raven answers, not surprising Jimin at all and yet slightly disappointing him.
"Everyone has one." Jimin mumbles after a moment, looking up at Jungkook once more hoping the man will say something different.
"I'm not afraid of anything." Jungkook lies, noting the way Jimin frowns slightly, as if he didn't fully believe it.
He leaves it alone though.
"What's something you hate?" Jimin says, switching the topic so the raven doesn't get agitated.
"People." Jungkook immediately utters. "You?" he continues.
"Nothing." Jimin says truthfully, making Jungkook's lip tug up once again.
"Everyone hates something." Jungkook teases, mocking what Jimin had said about him earlier. It wouldn't surprise him if Jimin wasn't lying though, he honestly didn't think Jimin held the capability to hate something.
The blonde thinks for a moment.
"I hate seeing people in pain." He once again says truthfully, making Jungkook's eyes soften slightly. If you compared their answers you would think they were like night and day, but somehow that was something Jungkook liked about Jimin.
He liked how much better he was..
"Favorite person?" Jungkook asks.
"Lisa and Tae." Jimin immediately says, giggling when he sees Jungkook scowl at the ladders name. Jimin looks as if he's about to say someone else, but closes his mouth in embarrassment before he can utter the words.
"What about you?" He says after a moment.
Jungkook goes silent for a moment, eyes going blank as if he forgot that he too, would have to answer the question. Jimin thinks the man's about to ignore him when he looks away, but just when he's getting ready to ask another question Jungkook answers.
"My mother." He says, looking back at the blonde with the same unreadable expression as before.
The one Jimin could never read.
The boys eyebrows furrow as he attempts to ask more about the unknown topic. "Who-
"What did you think of me when we first met?" Jungkook ask with a smirk, acting as if he hadn't completely interrupted Jimin's question with one of his own.
Even though Jimin's curiosity was killing him, he chose not to push. He had never met Jungkooks mother, but he assumed if the raven had put an end to it that fast that he probably didn't want to answer questions about her.
"I know it was a while ago, but surely you can think of something Minnie." Jungkook takes Jimin out of his thoughts and makes the blonde realize he has probably been silent for quite some time. He takes a moment to think about what he had thought that first day he met Jungkook.
He thought he was handsome.
"I thought you were scary." Jimin mumbles, looking away when the original answer replays in his head.
"What did you think of me?" The boy ask, peaking at Jungkook with curiosity as the raven grins.
"I thought you were too innocent." Jungkook admits, noticing how Jimin immediately looks away with a frown, biting his lip as if the comment had bothered the boy.
He should've known he'd be too boring for someone like Jungkook.
His eyes widen when the man grabs his chin though, and tilts his face so they're eye to eye.
"But I also thought you were undeniably gorgeous." Jungkook continues smugly, watching the way Jimin seems to completely freeze at the words. The blonde reacted this way every time Jungkook told him he was pretty, but the raven still found it amusing none the less.
'Hes just playing around.' Jimin convinced himself, scolding his scorching cheeks as Jungkook's eyes dart to them with a teasing glint. They sit in silence for a moment, Jimin's eyes darting around them as he slowly says his next words.
"I-I thought you were pretty too." Jimin hesitantly admits, not daring to meet the ravens eyes when Jungkook stays silent. The elder's grin only broadens though, finding a small warmth form in his chest at the words.
Pretty probably wasn't the best word to describe Jungkook, but the man still knew the meaning behind the words non the less.
Even in the beginning, Jimin found him attractive.
"Have you ever been kissed?" Jungkook finds himself asking, tilting his head in genuine curiosity when big blue eyes snap to his. He was pretty sure he already knew the answer, but he still wanted to see how Jimin reacted to the question.
Something like embarrassment crosses the boys features as Jungkook looks at him, making him drop his gaze once more to look at the water separating them.
"No.." He eventually whispers, glancing up at Jungkook through his lashes to see Jungkook only staring at him. He knew better than to ask the elder that same question, knowing just by looking at Jungkook that the man had probably kissed at least a few people. Jimin didn't want to think of how many people Jungkook had kissed though. How many beautiful people, even more beautiful than him..
It seems that their proximity is even closer than before now, close enough to where he can feel the ravens breath on his forehead and see the warm water glistening on Jungkooks sculpted chest.
Thank god they were in water, because if not Jimin's legs would definitely be shaking, and he probably would have passed out with Jungkook's next question.
"What would you do.. if I kissed you Jimin?" Jungkook slowly asks, not failing to notice the way Jimin's gaze immediately drops to his lips and his pale throat bobs.
'Push you away' The blonde knows he's suppose to say. 'Push you away, and pray that god would forgive me for it.' The words continue in his head, making his mouth go dry as they fail to leave past his lips.
"I-I don't know." He admits, guilt from the words mixing with desire, and forming what he could only describe to be a suffocating rope wrapped around his neck.
A rope of temptation.
He tried to stop it so many times, but it would be a lie to say that for a splint second Jimin hadn't imagined Jungkook kissing him. The ravens lips on his, and Jimin in his strong arms, kissing back with as much experience as he knew how. Just the image made his entire body head up.
He flinches slightly when Jungkook drags a finger down his arm, electricity forming in its wake as Jungkook repeats the action over and over again.
He tilts his head to look in the dark eyes belonging to the raven, attempting to keep his composure when he feels Jungkook's breath start to fan his lips.
There were about about two inches separating them, two painful inches, and Jungkook couldn't help but feel like if he moved one of those inches that Jimin would meet him halfway.
Would he..
Jimin can't help but bite his lip when Jungkook's eyes settle on them, no shame in his gaze as the raven licks his own lips and leans forward slightly.
One and a half inches..
He does it just to test the waters, a pleased shadow crossing his eyes when Jimin doesn't choose to pull back. The blondes breath only falters slightly, letting his eyes drop to Jungkook's lips when the raven moves his hand to Jimin's lower back, securing him, and yet giving room for him to move away if he decided he wanted to.
Even now, it would be Jimin's choice.
"What do you want Jimin?" Jungkook asks, repeating the question he'd asked only a few weeks ago, to which Jimin had been unable to answer.
Jimin only shakes his head slightly, as if to say 'I can't' while continuing to stare at Jungkook's lips, his eyes glossed over in pure desire as the elder starts to draw small circles on the anxious boys back. He does as if to say 'It's okay to want it Jimin.' But Jimin can't help but feel pure shame as he looks at Jungkook- Another man, and feels as if he may in fact want to kiss him.
This time he finds himself leaning forward slightly.
One inch.
Jungkook doesn't react to the movement, only continuing to draw those small circles on Jimin as the world around them slowly disappears. In their proximity, it felt as if all the consequences were damned, it felt as if everything that mattered to Jimin and everything he knew was gone.
His father, the church, Tae, Lisa and Jennie. All of it seemed to a whisper in water as Jungkook's lips hovered above his, feeling as if even without touching there was pure fire dancing between their body's.
Thoughts about god and sin were long gone, everything he valued out of the door as Jungkook starts to pull him closer. He finds his eyes fluttering shut before he can stop them, throwing caution to the wind as he holds on to Jungkook's strong arms and braces himself.
Jungkook had asked him what he wanted, and Jimin knew in that moment that he wanted this. Jungkook and him, here and now. He wanted this.
He wanted it so bad, he didn't even bother thinking what this would mean afterward.
And he definitely didn't bother thinking of that when Jungkook's lips finally met his, and fire ignited between them.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
🌸Hello children🌸
How do yall feel about this, I wasn't sure abt the kiss but I promise I'm not gonna make it too fast paced.
WAS THAT TOO FAST?
Im also making another Jikook book so support that when I publish it.
🌺Anyway, life sucks but I love y'all.🌺