Chapter Four
Mississippi
"IS YOUR brother annoyed by my presence?"
Binalingan ako ni Atalanta. Kasalukuyan kaming nasa silid niya at inilalabas ang mga damit sa kanyang closet. Tinutulungan ko siyang i-sort out ang mga damit na ayos lang i-pair sa light colored na mga damit na pinamili namin. Atalanta is a Goth kaya lahat ng damit sa kanyang closet ay kulay itim. She doesn't want to get rid off all black clothes pero gusto niyang unti-untihin ang pagbabago sa kanyang way of clothing. I want to help her do that kaya ako naroon.
"No, he isn't. Siguro dumidistansya lang siya sa'yo after mong sabihin sa kanya na siya ang gusto mong maging asawa."
Ngumisi ako. "Ah, natakot siya sa kalokohan ko." That was slightly a joke.
"Marami ng babaeng nagsabi sa kanya ng ganoon and ended up harassing him kaya umiiwas siya."
"Kaya pala."
"Missy, I told you before never to expect something intimate from him, right?"
"Yeah, I remembered."
"Actually, I was really expecting something from you," pag-amin niya. Natigilan ako. "I expect you to know him better and consider the idea of dating him."
I laughed. "Lan, oo medyo straight-forward ako for a girl pero hindi ako namimilit ng isang lalaking ayaw sa akin, you know that. Kahit masakit, kapag alam kong wala akong pag-asa sa isang lalaki, ako na ang kusang lumalayo. Nangyari na 'yan sa akin with Raphael."
"And I will always thank you for letting go."
"That hurts but you're welcome," nakangiti kong sabi. Hindi ko alam kung paano kami naging magkaibigan ni Lan pero siguro nagsimula iyon noong panahong tinanggap ko sa sarili ko na walang patutunguhan ang feelings ko para kay Raphael since day one.
"But seriously Missy, how do you see my brother?"
"Crush."
"But you never blurt it out."
"Hindi ba pwedeng umiba naman ako ng taktika ngayon?" I tried to joke pero seryoso pa rin si Lan habang nakatingin sa akin. "Okay, medyo mas mataas ng konti sa crush ang level ng feelings ko para sa brother mo but it doesn't mean na mauuna na akong manligaw. No way! I'm still a Filipina although I have little foreign blood."
"Really? Anong nationality?"
"Greek."
"So that explains your family name. Your father is greek."
"My mom," pagtatama ko. She was silent and I guess she's a little worried. "No big deal, Lan. My mom is half-Filipino and half-Greek, which explains her adventurous lovelife."
"How about your dad?"
"He's in Europe. He's all Filipino with a huge bank account and we seldom meet just like my mom."
"I'm sorry if I asked you too many questions, Missy."
"That's all right. Matagal ko ng tanggap ang mga pangyayari sa buhay ko. As for your brother, I think he's a fine man pero baka sumakit lang ang ulo niya sa akin," sabi ko na natatawa. Lan didn't laugh. Minsan talaga ay hindi ko alam kung paano pakikitunguhan ang kaibigan kong ito. Kakaiba kasi siya but thinking of her past reminds me why she seldom smile and laugh. Hindi rin naman kasi maganda ang naging nakaraan niya. Good thing may Raphael na siya na nagpapasaya sa gloomy niyang mundo. Atalanta is trying her best also to change, that is why nandoon kami at naghahalungkat sa closet niya.
"Missy."
"Yes?"
"You did a lot for me and Raphael. Gusto ko 'yong ibalik sa'yo sa paraang alam kong makakatulong sa'yo ng husto. Just tell me and I'll do it."
"Wag kang ganyan. Nang mag-let go ako, wala akong hininging kapalit kundi ang mahalin mo si Rap-rap at nagawa mo na 'yon. That's enough."
"No. I want to do something for you and that's a promise. Alam kong magagawa ko 'yon in due time," she said it with much conviction kaya wala na akong masabi.
"Bahala ka na nga. As of now, mukhang kailangan na nating tapusin itong misyon natin sa closet mo," sabi ko sa kanya. I saw her smile. For Raphael, those smiles were so precious and I thought the same way too when Atalanta became my friend.
"SNACKS time, ladies!"
Sumungaw sa pinto ng silid ni Lan ang ulo ni Raphael. Halos papatapos na kami sa ginagawa namin kaya lumabas na kami ng silid. Nakangiti kong pinagmamasdan sina Raphael at Atalanta na masayang nagkukwetuhan. Bawal mainggit, sabi ko sa sarili ko.
Sa tabi ng indoor fountain kami kumain ng merienda. I am really amazed by the mansion. European kasi ang style and the indoor fountain is very wonderful.
"Sino ang may ideya na magpagawa ng indoor fountain dito?" naitanong ko kay Lan. She pointed Donnar who was silently sitting on the fountain side holding a book. "Why?" si Donnar na ang tinanong ko. I noticed that he was surprised by the question.
"Ahm, our house in London has a fountain like this but it's in the garden. It's a hangout place for us," he explained.
"Eh 'di ba dapat nasa garden din ito?"
"I decided to place it here for privacy."
"Now I know," sabi ko saka siya nginitian. He instantly looked away. Naisip kong medyo weird ang ideya pero magugulat pa ba ako eh kahit nga pangalan ng mga ito ay medyo weird din. "Lan, bakit nga pala Atalanta ang pangalan mo?"
"Our mom is fascinated with greek myths and legends. She was even named from a mythological character, Andromache. Iyon ang pangalan ng asawa ni Prince Hector of Troy. My mom decided to name us from Greek myth characters. Roiri is named after two minor goddesses, Aurora and Iris. Donnar from two greek matinee idols and Keeper from two greek heroes."
"Matinee idols?" natawa ako.
"Adonis and Narcissus. They were beautiful men as the myths say."
"Well, I think someone here deserve those names," sabi ko saka sinulyapan si Donnar na hindi man kumibo pero alam kong nakikinig lang. "And you?"
"I was named after a heroine. The only woman who accompanied Jason and the Argonauts. I was named after a mythical athlete," Lan narrated with a smile. Hindi ako mahilig masyado sa greek myth pero binabalak kong magtanong kay Google o Yahoo pag-uwi ko. Gusto kong malaman kung kasing gwapo nga ni Donnar sina Adonis at Narcissus.
"How about you? Why Mississippi?"
Nabigla ako sa pagtatanong na iyon ni Donnar. Napalingon ako sa kanya. He was staring at me, for real! Nawala na yata ang pagkailang niya sa akin.
"Oo nga. Bakit Mississippi?" na-curious na rin si Raphael.
I grinned mischievously and I gazed at Donnar. Nakita kong napakunot-noo siya but he still looked heavenly. "Because I was 'created' there." There was silence and then I laughed aloud dahil sa expression ng mga mukha nila. They were all shocked by my answer.
"Are you serious?" paniniyak ni Lan.
"You got to be kidding me," si Donnar.
"Hindi nga?" pati si Raphael ay nayanig sa sagot ko.
"Oo nga eh. My parents met in Mississippi and I was conceived there but was born here," paglilinaw ko habang natatawa pa rin. "So you see, memorable ang lugar na iyon sa kanila." Pinaka-memorable iyon sa akin.
"May mas weird pa pala sa Mama namin," Lan said.
"You bet!"
MATAPOS kaming mag-snacks ay naunang bumalik sa silid niya si Atalanta while Raphael went to the toilet. I was alone with Donnar near the fountain.
"Donnar."
"Bakit?" he asked without looking at me. He was pretending to read the book. I said he's just pretending, ayaw niya lang kasi akong tingnan. Lumapit ako sa kanya.
"Lan told me na aalis kayo after graduation."
"Yeah."
"Malapit na rin pala akong mawalan ng kaibigan." Nagtaas siya ng mukha at tumingin sa akin. Ako naman ang tumingin sa kawalan.
"You can always visit her in London."
"Hindi rin siguro. After graduation, pupunta ako ng Greece at hindi na ako babalik dito."
"Alam ba 'yan nina Raphael at Lan?" he sounded concern.
Umiling ako. "Hindi. Ayokong sabihin sa kanila. Raphael will have to stay in the Philippines and start saving para sa future nila ni Lan. Lan will have to do the same. Ganoon din ako. Matagal na dapat akong nagpunta sa Greece pero nag-desisyon akong dito magtapos ng college. I created lots of memories here at napakahirap no'n na iwanan but still I have to go. Dapat matagal na," sabi ko. I felt the sudden nostalgia gayong hindi pa man nangyayari ang mga sinasabi ko. Alam ko kasi na mami-miss ko ang anumang relasyong binuo ko kasama ang mga tao sa lugar na ito. Mami-miss ko talaga sila.
"Malapit lang ang Greece sa UK. Pwede kang puntahan ni Lan o ikaw ang pumunta sa kanya," Donnar suggested.
"Siguro."
"Bakit siguro? Pag-nagpunta ka ba ng Greece ay hindi ka na namin makikilala?"
I was silent. Hindi ko kasi alam ang sasabihin ko sa kanya. Ano ba ang dapat kong isagot nang hindi ako parang nasasakal?
"Iba doon," sagot ko na lang. He was more puzzled. "Basta. Huwag mo na lang itong sasabihin sa dalawa. Ayoko silang bigyan ng aalahanin lalo pa't pareho silang malalayo sa isa't isa for three years. It will be tough for them pero naniniwala akong kakayanin nila."
"And you?"
"Me? I'll be fine."
"I have the feeling that you won't," he looked serious now.
"I lived from country to country. Masasabi kong dito sa Pilipinas ako pinakanagtagal. Sa isang gaya ko na walang permanent address, every person na nagiging malapit sa akin ay importante and it hurts me to leave them but that's my life. I want to create as many memories as I can para may mabaon akong maraming alaala pag-umalis ko."
"It makes you happy yet it stabs your heart too."
Wow! I like the word he used. Stab. Yes, it's stabbing me always. I smiled. Nakakatuwa lang na hindi na siya naiilang na kausapin ako at sa tono ng pananalita niya ay concern siya sa feelings ko. Another nice memory, when Adonis talked to me like a friend.
"It is better to experience joyful memories and leave than never enjoy life at all."
"I never thought you're that deep," pag-amin niya. "Akala ko kasi playful ka."
"I am but I play happily." He smiled. For the first time, nginitian niya ako with sincerity. Another nice memory, the day he smiled at me. "Alam mo bang ang gwapo mo?"
"Oo. Matagal na," sagot niya pero hindi tonong nagyayabang. "That's a well-established truth ever since the day I was born."
I laughed. He laughed too. I stopped laughing when something dawned to me. "Donnar."
"Yes?" he asked me with a smile.
"Can I make happy memories with you?"