(as the tile is shown, the first few bars of "Floral Fury" plays)
After the ordeal with Elder Kettle's veggies, he had decided to grow something else. Flowers.
As he watered them he took in a deep breath and started to sing a song. (to the same tune of "i love my little veggies'')
🎶I love my little flowers. I love to watch them grow.🎶
🎶They add a splash of colour and they make the garden glow.🎶
🎶I grew them from a tiny seed, placed in small neat rows.🎶
🎶I love them all so equally, daisy, phlox or rose.🎶
🎶But even though I love you so, you seem to seem to stay so small.🎶
🎶So now I have to find a way to make you strong and tall!🎶
Just as he finished, Cuphead and Mugman burst through the front door. They were running around, laughing as they threw wads of flour at each other.
"Oh boooooooooyyyyyys!" Elder Kettle said as he waved the two brothers towards him," since you did such an amazing job last time, would you be able to look after these flowers for your Elder Kettle?"
Cuphead spoke up, "Actually we were just going to..
"Wonderful!" Elder kettle cut in "I'm off to see my chiropractor"
Before the two cups could protest, Elder kettle had left.
Cuphead: "Let's scram, he can't force us to do this if he's not here."
Mugman: "But what if we do make his flowers grow?"
Cuphead: "uhhhg, please don't bring up that sentimental stuff again and make me look after some dumb plants, just because it is the "right thing to do"."
Mugman: "No, i just had a thought. Remember when Elder Kettle found the giant veggies, he was in a good mood for weeks. He even gave us cookies."
Cuphead: "oh yea."
Mugman: "so if we make his flowers grow really big..."
Cuphead:" we can get cookies!"
Mugman: "only Problem is, how to we make these flowers grow."
Cuphead:" if only there was a convenient giant flower that'll just happen to appear."
Cuphead looked around expectantly ,waiting for a giant flower to turn up. None did.
"Aww banana oil, lets just try some stuff and see if it works."
* * *
Attempt:1
Cuphead had brought the piano outside and was playing a ragtime tune while Mugman sang the word "grow" repeatedly to the tune of the song.
Attempt: 2
The two brothers wore some badly sewn together flower costumes and were doing a strange dance. They were smacking themselves everywhere, as if swatting at flies (body percution) as the percussion solo section of "Floral Fury '' is played in the background.
Attempt: 3
Mugman was reading out of a book called "Questions for Quadratus" when he got an idea. He ran into the house and got out a small tub of deodorant
"I thought i threw that away months ago," Cuphead said "I told Elder Kettle i wouldn't use it."
"Well good thing i kept it" Mugman relayed "it just might work. It says here plants comunicate using pheromones."
Mugman took off the lid and placed it in the middle of the flower bed. The two cups stood there for a while, waiting for something to happen. nothing did.
Attempt: 4
Cuphead was drawing a large pentagram around the flowers using a red piece of chalk while Mugman lit candles and placed them on each point of the star. The two brothers then put on some Cult-esc robes and stood there staring at the patch of flowers for a few seconds
Cuphead soon got bored and lifted up his oversized hood to look at the plants.
"Uhhhhg, Nothing's working" Cuphead complained
Suddenly a light bulb appeared above Mugman's head
"I know!" he said "We can go to Porkrind's. He sells every thing"
"But we've spent all of our chore nickels." Cuphead replied "we don't fot no money."
Mugman reached up and grabbed the floating light bulb.
"I think i have a plan," Mugman said as he inspected the light bulb
* * *
"HEY POOORKRIND!" The cup bothers yelled as they burst into the shop. Mugman was holding a large cardboard box, filled to the brim with light bulbs.
"What do you want," Porkrind grunted
"We need plant fertiliser," Mugman said, "the strongest you got."
Porkrind rummaged under the counter for a few seconds then stood up and presented a bag labelled "ACME Grow".
"This stuff costs extra," he said "got em off the black market, real potent."
"How about a box of astral light bulbs," Mugman offered as he plonked the box on the table. "they don't use electricity, they will work when plugged into anything that even remotely looks like a socket and can be controlled by any switch in the vicinity."
Porkrind's eyes bugged out of his head.
"How in all of the inkwell isles did you get your hands on these kid!" Porkrind exclaimed
"Oh i have my ways," Mugman dismissed. "Do we have a deal?"
Porkrind quickly shook mugman's hand, tossed the ACME Grow at Mugman who caught it and took the Box of astral light bulbs off the counter and put them on the shelves behind him. He then pushed the two brothers out of the door, all while saying "yes, you have yourself a deal young man. Now take your stuff and off you go. Have a nice day".
He soon pushed the two cups out the door. Porkrind then slammed the door and changed the sign in the window from, "OPEN" to "CLOSED".
"Well that was strange," Cuphead remarked," why did you have a box full of light bulbs anyway and why did Porkrind want them."
"I just had a few bright ideas," Mugman replied,"now lets see how strong this fertiliser is!"
***
The two cups walked home. Mugman had found some instructions taped to the back of the packet and was reading through them while Cuphead was tossing the bag from hand to hand.
As the cups were entering the yard, Mugman spoke up.
"It says here that you should measure out one pinch of the ACME grow with the contents of a watering can and put one drop on each plant you want to grow."
"Eh, i ain't worried about it," Cuphead said as he dumped the entire bag of fertiliser over the plants," what's the worst that could happen."
Immediately after that last few specks of fertiliser had fallen out of the bag. All of the plants started to grow at a rapid rate. All of the stems first grew really tall and then twisted together, forming one really large steam. Now the one plant continued to grow, sprouting leaves along the way. After the plant had grown to the height of the cottage, a budd started to form. The bud further swelled until it opened into a large yellow and orange flower, with a face.
The flower-with-a-face opened its eyes and looked around.
"Where am i?" it said," what am i? How am I alive? Who am i?"
"You are..." Cuphead looked around until one of Eldre Kettle's seed packets caught his eye. "You are Carnation, Cagney Carnation"
"Cuphead, that's not a carnation flower," Mugman pointed out, "it looks more like a daisy."
"Ehh, that doesn't matter" Cuphead relayed "Your head isn't even a Mug, Mugs are cylinders, your head is a cup. Just like mine."
Mugman grasped at his head frantically, feeling its shape and babbled breathlessly.
While Mugman was having an existential crisis, Cuphead decided to talk to the flower.
"So Cagney," he said, "what d'you wanna do?"
"I want to see the world, experience life to the fullest. I want to know what it is to truly live!"
"Ooooookay, we might not be able to do all of that today. Hmmmmm. Oh! I know, how about some music."
Cuphead stood behind the piano, which was still by the flower bed and started playing a piano version of "Floral Fury". Once Cagney heard the Music, he smiled and started to do his signature hand shimmy dance
"I like this"music ","Cagney said,"show me more!"
***
(montage time again, this time the song "Inkwell Isle One" plays in the background because I don't want to over-use floral fury..)
1:
Cuphead and Cagney are playing catch with a ball. They are both doing various types of trickshots. Cuphead throws the ball under his leg to Cagney. The giant flower returns it by transforming his head into a gatling gun (like in the game), placing the ball into the barrel of the gun (his nose) and firing it into the air and Cuphead catches it on the way back down. Cuphead then placed the ball on the rim of his cup, rolled it round the circumference of his head a few times before sharply jerking his head backwards causing the ball to get thrown into the air. Cuphead then did a front-flip and smacked the ball with his straw, sending it flying towards Cagney. Cagney easily caught it and started winding a vine around the ball. He then threw the ball, unwinding the vine at the same time, causing the ball to spin so fast, it looked disc shaped (kinda like how yoyos work, you unwind the string quickly making the yoyo spin).
Mugman was still in the background having an existential crisis
2:
Cuphead is teaching Cagney to play the piano. Cagney was playing "Chopsticks" very slowly, but correctly and Cuphead who had put on a monocle made from a bent paperclip and had a snooty look of approval on his face.
"Hmmm, yes, now play at 70 beats per minute," Cuphead said, mocking Ludwig's very posh accent. Mugman was still in the background, taking deep breaths, trying to calm himself down.
3:
"Mugman likes reading these, so maybe you will" Cuphead said as he gave Cagney the book "Romance on the high seas" (from the "I Scream Man" episode.).
Cagney was immediately absorbed in the book, sitting down and reading profusely, with a big grin on his face.
Mugman walked up to Cuphead and tapped him on the soldier.
"Hey Mugsy" Cuphead said ,"you ok."
"Yea" He replied " I've decided that I can be whoever I want to be. I am not defined by the shape of my head. I am still Mugman. The Mug-est of mans.
"Hmm" Cuphead replied " that's very philosophical."
"Yup" Mugman said "anyway, what are we going to do with the giant flower."
Mugman gestured to Cagney who was still reading the book.
"Helooooooooo" he said as he waved back at Mugman, " can i ask who the icecream man is and why was Mugbeard Cruel to him"
"Cuphead," Mugman said, "don't get too attached. Elder Kettle is gonna put him in a bouquet."
"WHAT!" Cuphead yelled "you can't kill Cagney. He has so much still to live for!"
"Cuphead, you do realise that that was the plan from the beginning."
"Well it isn't any more!" Cuphead said sternly
At that moment, Elder Kettle walked through the gate.
"Oh, boooooooys. I'm hooooooome. Have you looked after my flowers."
Elder kettle walked up to the flower bed and gasped when he saw Cagney.
"My baby!" Kettle screeched with delight "you've grown so much."
Cagney looked down at Elder Kettle quizzically.
"Father?" he said "are you my father?"
Elder kettle acted as if he didn't hear
"Oh, you'll look so good in a bouquet"
"What's a bouquet?" Cagney asked Elder Kettle
"Oh, it's just where i Mutilate your stem, and place you in a vase of water and watch as you slowly wither away from starvation."
Cagney looked over to Cuphead and Mugman who were both trying to avoid eye contact with the flower.
Cagney gasped, "betrayal, Murder! I have been deceived. Is my life a lie? But I've experienced it now. And I know; I will not be slain so easily."
"Cagney, this as all just a big misunderstaaaAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Mugman grabbed both Elder Kettle and Cuphead by the handle and jumped onto the roof of the well, pulling the others with him. Meanwhile Cagney jammed his hands into the ground and huge undulating briars spread around the garden. The vines entwined the base of the well and, in the blink of an eye, shot upwards (like the vine atack from phase 3), catapulting the trio and the well roof into the sky.
***
They all landed in a heap in the outskirts of the forest. Cuphead jumped up and immediately scolded Mugman.
Cuphead: "I told you not to try and hurt Cagney and now look what happened. We've been kicked out of of our house by a homicidal plant."
Mugman: "Well if you want to get our house back then we are gonna have to get rid of said homicidal plant."
Cuphead: "He was acting in self defence. What would you do if you heard someone plotting your murder. You tried to kill me, just for being good at the piano!"
Mugman: "Well you know i'm right, there's no way we're getting past that botanical beast!"
Cuphead: "yea your right. A RIGHT PAIN IN MY..."
"Now now boys," Elder kettle said "theres no need for that language. Now would you be able to explain this situation to your Elder Kettle."
"Well," Cuphead explained, " we were not sure how to make your plants grow really big, so we went to Porkrind's and bought some fertiliser. We then put it on your plants and they grew into that giant flower who is alive and sentient. And then you came and said you would kill him and then he got mad and flung us over here."
"Oh my," Elder Kettle exclaimed, " so did I just plot murder in front of the recipient."
"Pretty much" Cuphead replied
"Ohhh, that's terrible, we have to apologise. You do remember what I taught you, don't you?"
"If you do wrong, make right," the two brothers recited, as they had been told countless times.
"Well, good luck with that," Mugman said as he looked over towards Cagney.
A small rabbit was hopping up to the garden. When it was spotted by the flower, it was suddenly grabbed by a vine and dragged underground. A few seconds later, some bones popped back up to the surface.
"Cagney ain't a bad guy though," Cuphead said "He was just threatened with murder."
Cuphead pointed to Cagney who was now petting the-goat-from-the-front-yard, growing some grass-esc leaves from the palm of his hand and feeding the goat.
"You can do what you want but i'm going to talk to Cagney" Cuphead said
"Are you nuts," Mugman yelled, "you'll be smashed before you ever step in the yard."
" well I-AIN'T-TOO-WORRIED-ABOUT-IT."
Mugman turned his back on Cuphead and crossed his arms and Cuphead walked off towards the garden
Mugman stood his ground for a few seconds, keeping his arms firmly crossed and a look of anger on his face. But soon he caved in.
"Uhhg, I better go with him in case he does something dumb." Mugman complained as he turned and jogged after Cuphead.
***
Mugman managed to catch up to Cuphead.
"Do you have a plan to get past the yard full of thorns?" Mugman asked.
"Nah, plans are overrated," Cuphead replied
Mugman sighed, "Ok, I guess it's my job to make the plan. We'll use the fence posts to shield ourselves from the briars. I'll go in from the left, you go in from the right, together we might be able to disorientate plant boy."
"Ok," Cuphead said as he pulled up his shorts and then letting the waistband snap back "Now go!"
(in this fight scene "Floral Fury" plays in the background)
Cuphead ran to the right of Cagney and Mugman ran to the left. They both broke off pieces of the fence and used them to sort of bunny- hop their way towards the giant flower, making sure the fence was the only thing to touch the vines below.
Cagney immediately noticed both of them
"COME BACK FOR MORE HAVE YOU!" Cagney yelled, "YOU'LL BE SLEEPING WITH THE ROTTEN TONIGHT!"
The vines around Cagney began to writhe and undulate and loads of baby toothy terrors emerged
Mugman flipped his board so it stood vertically and continued towards Cagney but this time bouncing around as if the plank of wood was a pogo stick. He managed to avoid all of the approaching foes by hoping and flipping past them, doing some snazzy tricks as he did.
Cuphead on the other hand, just as the chomping plants got close to him, he did a somersault in the air, pulled the piece of fence out from below his feet and held it like a sledge hammer and brought it down on the top of the closest toothy terror ( reminiscent of a parry)
The plant monster exploded with a loud pop and a spray of confetti. Cuphead was propelled forward by his strike and did the same to the next toothy terror he encountered with the same result. He bounced from foe to foe leaving each as a pile of confetti on the floor.
After Cagney realised that his minions did not work. Cagney trew a large handful of different seed types at the cups. A hailing onslaught of seed dispersal ensued. The majority of the seeds were mostly harmless but bounced off the Cups painfully, causing them to lose focus of the things that actually could hurt them like the larger sycamore-esc seeds that spun like boomerangs.
Cuphead began to lose focus. His fence post was now slick with plant sap and spilled milk. Mugman however was calm and collected, still steadily hopping towards Cagney, despite the seeds that smarted and stung on impact.
Suddenly a column of vines shot out of the ground and smashed Cuphead's fence piece to smithereens. He scrambled about in mid air until a passing boomerang seed came close. He frantically grabbed it and managed to hold on to the underneath of the seed as it flew away from Cagney.
Mugman looked over at his brother and saw what happened to Cuphead. He realised that it would soon happen to him. So on his next pogo-esc jump, he made sure that the fence piece landed in a way that made it bend and then it sprung back into shape, catapulting Mugman into safety.
Cuphead relaxed for a few seconds. He assumed that the seed would just carry him to safety but a few seconds into his journey, he felt his direction change. Cuphead was being spun manically by the seed so he couldn't see much but he noticed that Cagney's grinning face was getting larger and larger with every revolution.
Cuphead let go of the seed and landed in a heap on a bed of briars, somehow missing all of the thorns. He looked up and saw that Cagney was smiling menacingly down on him.
("Floral Fury" stops playing.)
"Cagney," Cuphead said, gasping for breath, "this is all just a big misunderstanding."
The giant flower calmed down a bit "let me hear you plead your case."
"Elder kettle didn't mean to threaten you with murder, he didn't realise you were alive!"
"Yes" said a voice behind Cagney, it was Elder Kettle, "I'm sorry threatened to kill you, I didn't mean it. I just thought you were a regular flower."
Cagney face palmed.
"What do you mean you thought i was a norman flower! I have a face and hands! I even asked you a question and you responded!"
"Elder kettle can be a bit... errrr... slow," Cuphead said, " he accidentally tried to kill me and Mugman about like 6 or 7 ti..."
"14 times," Mugman corrected as he picked his way back across the yard full of vines "He's tried to kill us 14 times."
Cagney looked confused for a couple seconds and them turned to Elder Kettle
"You stupid old man!" he yelled, "you have a head full of hot gas, both literally and figuratively. I'm sorry for freaking out but think before you speak!"
Elder Kettle looked down at his feat dejectedly.
"Would you like to stay here for a bit?" Cuphead offered, "the flower bed is still free."
"Hmmmm" Cagney said as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully
***
Cagney had been living in the front yard for a few weeks now. He had been working diligently, reading through all of the textbooks in the cottage. Soon, a letter in the post came addressed to Cagney. It was an invitation letter to Inkwell college.
After Cagney read the letter he grabbed a spade and transplanted himself into a ceramic plant pot. He hopped to the edge of the garden, waved back at Cuphead and Mugman who were standing in the doorway waving at him. And hopped off to inkwell city, as the screen faded to black.
(sorry the end is so strange. When i had a sort of idea of what the story would be like, but this was all i had to work with:
Elder kettle has flowers. Cup + Mug get ultra-fertilazer. Turns into monster flower. Bouquet.
I'm gonna spend some time writing a better plan for the books so i don't end up having no clue how to end it, like i did this one )