A unit of speed equal to one nautical mile per hour, approximately 1.85 kilometers or 1.15 statute milesper hour.
* * *
As César's mother earlier mentioned to me, she definitely exerted too much effort in preparing the dinner. It is a feast, and I hint at once my favorites as if I am the guest of honor. Both I and César sit across from them through a variety of choices to start with, and I wonder if we're expecting more. His mother also insists in starting the meal with a prayer, and I'll not be surprised in finding out that they'll be Catholic-devotees, as Americans fail to convert the Philippines to Protestantism upon finding out the Filipinos' strong faith to Catholicism. Not to mention that I also find an altar of religious figures just by the corner of their living room earlier on.
As part of a classic Filipino home, my exploration in the hall I've trailed on earlier, I also notice a few photographs of the family and a series of awards that César had achieved in college. I'll definitely take in consideration looking on them later on after dinner; given that I survive this one first.
Because, no matter how heartwarming I've been welcomed, I can't help but to still be quite too stiff in front of his parents. After all, in a sense to me, this is my first time meeting them; and definitely my first time being placed in this situation, too. Sure, I'll be meeting the parents of my friends; but definitely not a lover's.
"Mas madami pa kaming nababalitaan mula sa ibang tao sa kung anong nangyayari sa loob ng Zablan kumpara mula sa iyo, César," his father breaks the silent atmosphere, jumping straight to the discussion than formalities of 'how are you'. I think, his father's question is one like's saying 'we're worried'.
And César knows it for him to appear quite guilty for a second before smiling sadly. "Mas madami talagang masasabi ang ibang tao tungkol po sa PAAC, Pa. Mas kita ng marami ang nangyayari sa itaas kaysa sa mga ginagawa ng tao sa ibaba."
"At alam rin ng marami ang nangyari sa may San Francisco del Monte. Halos dalawang linggo na ang nakakaraan?" his father adds.
My ears perk at that. It is something I definitely didn't know of and missed out from this dreamscape. And fuck it all, spending the entire day with César made me lost my focus that I didn't figure out today's date yet.
Anong petsa na ba talaga ngayon? Ilang linggo ba ang nakaligtaan ko?
"Ah, 'yong nangyari noong vientiocho po, Pa? Dahil doon nawalan pa kaagad ng dalawang eroplano," César answers too casually as if he is only talking about the weather.
"Anak," his mother finally calls to him this time. "Hindi bale kung nawalan kayo ng dalawang eroplano dahil nagkaroon ng diperensya, pero nagkasagian 'yong dalawang eroplano. Mid-air."
"It's a mock dogfight. How are we going to train against enemy fighters kung hindi po namin i-sisimulate ang almost same parameters of a dogfight itself?" He sighs heavily before looking dejected for raising his voice a little to prove a point. "Pa... Ma... I'm safe, okay? As well as those two. Juliano and Luzon are safe. It just so happens that akala nila na isa sa kanila ang mag-gigive way after being heads-on with one another. 'Yong wings nila ang nagkasagian. Luzon managed to land the crippled plane at the backyard of a German woman, and when he saw her..." He clears his throat as he tries to suppress a laughter from erupting, "He muttered, "Oh, I must be in heaven." Sorry. Godoy survived and managed to leave unscathed but it cost a casualty.
"And, Pa... Ma... I'm sorry," he adds, and when he speaks again, he seems dreadfully serious. "Alam kong nag-aalala kayo sa akin. And I am already beyond grateful na pumayag kayo sa desisyon kong pumasok ng PAAC at maging piloto. I know it's dangerous; but during the training, noong... o kapag lumilipad ako mag-isa, I realize that danger is attributed much more to the pilot than to the plane. It's not just a matter of skills or experience, but the presence of mind, the decision-making, and definitely the will to survive ensures all that safety. Everything heavily relies to the pilot. And I... I want you to trust me. Pa, Ma, I am doing something I love." He smiles at that. "And I want you to know that. I want you to remember that."
I can hint a lingering statement that César seems to want to say, but will not even take the risk just yet.
That if I die, I want you to remember that I die doing something I love, I can feel him wanting to say that. However, just by thinking of him having that mindset is quite heavy to take. Like imagining him dying that way makes my heart heavy; what more then for a parent to hear such thing?
"If that's the case," his father begins another time, after a minute of silence passed, "you should speed up. Pagkatapos no'ng huli mong bisita." He narrows his eyes at the two of us; and I can very well hint right now how too similar he and César are at such an expression. "What's with you and (Y/N) right now?"
César swallows hard, as if not expecting the discussion to be turned so easily like that. I wonder how many times did he have the same conversation with his parents that he seems so used with hearing their responses be too different now. He scoffs, takes my hand to raise it in view, and answers, "It's already check out from the list."
His mother gasps loudly. Her eyes bright with glee and excitement. "César Fernando María Tianko Basa, mi cariño... kailan mo pa balak sabihin sa amin?"
"Na ano po, Ma?" César affectionately holds my hand, looking then on the ring that adorns my finger. "Halata naman ngayon na engaged na kami ni (Y/N), 'di po ba?"
His father sighs heavily. "Kung hindi ka pa tinadtaran ng tawag sa Zablan, wala ka namang planong bumisita at sabihin sa amin, ano?"
"May plano naman po, Pa. Naging busy lang po talaga sa Zablan. Tanungin niyo man po si (Y/N)."
I am trying to have a good grasp of this turn of events. So, apparently, this engagement with César had been known by the entire PAAC already but his parents are only hearing of it now? Shouldn't they know about it first? I mean, this is like a step to marriage itself!
"At noong sinabi ko naman din po sa inyo ang intensyon kong alukin na si (Y/N) ng kasal, panigurado naman na alam niyo naman po ang magiging sagot niya." César chuckles before lowering my hand, squeezing it once before letting go. "Kaya nga po binigay mo sa akin 'yong singsing, 'di ba po, Ma?"
"Hmph. Parehong-pareho kayo ng papa mo pagdating sa ganyan. Pati alam ko naman na tatanggapin ni (Y/N) ang alok mo kahit may mga panahong kinakabahan ako kung sigurado ba talaga siyang ikaw ang pipiliin niya," remarks his mother.
To be honest nga po, hindi ko rin alam kung paano naging sila ng dream version ko. At paano naging engaged, I almost reply back.
I already know that it is easy to fall in love with César, and to continue being in love with him based on how he acts toward me. However, just as what I think of Elian, there are definitely some things that I know will also be doubtful of him to be in love with. Very much with how his mother now defines it. However...
I, for a split second, sneak a peek at the engagement ring that had been around my finger ever since I have the first encounter in this dreamscape. It is a beautiful and well-cherished one despite its simplicity, and now knowing that it once belonged to his mother, as some family heirloom, makes it extra special. It is like some indication that César didn't only choose me to be his wife, but had been accepted by his parents to be part of the family, too.
In the real world, despite me not being too religious, I also pray for it. A farfetched one for me to do so to find the right man for me, not perfect, but a husband who I'll not only love and will treat me with respect, and his family who'll be happy to consider me like their own daughter.
Bakit ba minsan ang swerte-swerte natin sa mga panaginip natin?
"We know that both of you are busy with everything that is going on, but you should not be forcing yourselves," his father remarks. "And this time, better inform us at least a day before the wedding."
We laugh at the joke, despite feeling myself insecure that I flush.
"You have nothing to worry about it yet, Pa," César answers, saving me from having to comment about it. "We're about to become much busier than we are now. May usap-usapan po sa Zablan na with the happenings going on concerning training, we might be transferred somewhere else. The most ideal and talked about location now is a transfer to Batangas."
The announcement, I can say, kills the mood. I don't know if he had chosen the right moment to do so, but it is an indication that things are going to be so uptight right now.
As if to quench a little of the sad aura, he adds with a light chuckle, "Of course. Hindi naman namin po babalakin ni (Y/N) na sa Batangas magpakasal; malamang po, dito pa rin sa Maynila."
If it had assured his parents a little bit, I do not know. But, for me, it didn't help. It only makes me sadder and worried that I can't help but to hate myself in thinking that plannings like this sometimes become just it. Just plans that will or will not happen.
* * *
As expected, we didn't finish the served dinner with too many leftovers. His mother assures that she'll just packed them up for us. I also plan to help her in washing the dishes, but she insists that I must just keep myself company and be at home. However, when César plans to do the same, his mother calls for him and asks for his help instead. I think it is a way of his mother telling him to spend some time with her, even in just doing some simple household chores.
In the end, I am given the time to look on at the frames that are hung on the wall and placed above the cabinets of the hall and the living room. Of course, I can't help giggling in finding photographs of a younger César; for there are a few ones which featured him as a baby and as a kid, and a few family photos, and others that definitely are of César growing up.
It is a little bit surprising to find out that he had been a smart kid. The awards he has speak to itself, and I am starting to think that having the brains is also part of the requirements of being a pilot after all. And finally, I look on at his framed diploma that makes me blink and frown.
"Industrial Chemistry?" I can't help asking myself out loud.
"Yes. Industrial Technology Major in Chemistry. With honors pa. Sinong mag-aakala na pipiliin niya magpiloto?" his father inquires, surprising me a little in finding out that he now stands right next to me, looking on at the framed diploma.
"Ah!" I bow my head slightly and look at his façade that for some reasons, I can see too well that the similarities between César and him is too evident—from the strong set of eyebrows, to the sternness of dark eyes, the evident high cheekbones, and the chiseled jawline. I can't help but thank the Heavens once more that his parents are equally beautiful and handsome for César to be genetically blessed.
He suddenly chuckles. "(Y/N), iha, lagi mo na lang din natatanong 'yan kapag bumibisita ka."
I flush. To be honest, it is my first time seeing this through this dreamscape; but with the words of his father, it seems like this dream me always look on at the photographs and had been asking the same thing. Then, I remember César teasing me once that I've been quite forgetful. Somehow, I am thankful of this dream version of me to have such a prevalent forgetfulness that it didn't seem strange for me to be curious and stick my nose to where it doesn't belong.
"César had always been an active and smart student. Though he is a little bit quite aloof and cold for others." He chuckles as he turns to another framed photograph.
Turning my attention to that, and I also can't help myself but to laugh. It is César's college graduation photo. He appears too stern and serious—prim and proper—and at the same time, quite too young and mature. The photo once reminds me of when I've met Elian during his college days; though not in a rather sexy and flirtatious basketball jersey compared to the varsity team photograph that is framed just beneath the graduation photo. It takes me a minute to figure out who is César among them because looking at their uniforms is making me giggle.
Maging dito rin ba is varsity player si César?
The photographs prove that he was, and it reminds me of another distant memory that only comes to me right now. For some reasons, I manage to dig through this dreamscape's memory bank of watching César be PAAC's basketball star when they played against the OSP. I remember, for unexplainable reasons, that they've won the game back then among all the other units of the Philippine Army.
Bakit ko naalala iyon bigla? I ponder.
It is strange to find out that such things are becoming clearer to be part of some memories that this dream version of me has. Is it possible for dreams to even have memories? Am I going insane in even thinking of the possibility that this dream is much more than I actually think of? That this dream could actually be a parallel world instead than anything but?
"Hindi ko alam if nabanggit na sa iyo ni César kung bakit talaga siya nagdesisyon magpiloto, samantalang nakapagtapos naman siya ng kemiko at napakadaming posibilidad ang maari niyang tahakin," his father starts another time. This time, he is looking at me that make me realize the difference then between him and César—that aside from the age, I realize that César actually inherited the tenderness of his eyes and smile from his mother—though I know that his father is also a good man. "Noong sinabi niya sa amin na gusto niyang pumasok bilang isang piloto, akala ko nagloloko lang siya o nababaliw. Sino bang hindi mag-iisip ng ganoon, lalo na't noong sinabi niya ay noong huling taon niya na sa kolehiyo. Kakapasukan pa lamang at bigla niyang nabanggit ang tungkol doon.
"It is sheer foolishness, I told myself back then. Panigurado naman na kahit sinong magulang ganoon ang iisipin. Pagkatapos mo pag-aralin ng ilang taon sa kolehiyo, tapos maiisipan niya kaagad-agad na gusto niya mag-piloto... Malamang, ayaw ko. Ayaw rin ni Rosario. Pero si Rosario lamang nagsabi ng pananaw niya kung bakit. Ang sa akin lang ay alam ni César kung bakit hindi ako pumapayag; pero kay Rosario, ayaw niya dahil alam naman namin kung ano ang nangyayari sa mga piloto." He takes a heavy sigh and as he stares at me with cold eyes, he adds, "Pilots don't live long, (Y/N). Kahit ano pang assurances 'yang ibabato ni César, we can't help but worry, and I know that you understand."
I meekly nod, knowing what he wishes me to know. But I know it more that in my reality, no matter how much improvement the aviation industry has, there will always be some sort of danger. Again, as César mentioned it, everything heavily depends on the pilot. And in this era, where planes are definitely a very new innovation, it isn't just costly but truly pure of mistakes waiting to happen and be solved.
"Pero hindi naman mapigil. Kaya nga piloto na ngayon ng PAAC," his father continues, chuckling lightly to himself as he shakes his head. "Sinabihan ako ni Rosario na pagsabihan si César, pero alam ko na buo na ang desisyon niya na kahit walang suporta mula sa amin ay gagawin niya pa rin. Makulit pero mabait naman 'yon, kaya sa huli, hindi rin naman namin talaga napigilan." He points against his collarbone. "Siguro naman napapansin mo rin 'yong suot-suot niyang kwintas."
I flush. I can hint an underlying statement in no need to be said anymore. Something along the lines that he decides not to say so such as, Since lived-in na naman kayo ni César, at hindi ko alam kung may nangyari na ba sa inyo pero paniguradong nakikita mo 'yong tinutukoy ko.
Sana nga po talaga masisigurado kong wala pa po talagang nangyayari sa amin, I want to say. Pero sabi naman po ni César ay wala pa nga po, kaya po naniniwala naman po ako sa sinasabi niya. At isang beses ko pa lang nakitang nakahubad siya; or rather, at least, half-naked. Pero maraming beses na rin 'yong ganoon na naka-bury lang siguro sa memory bank nitong dream version ko talaga!
"It's a religious medallion of Saint Ignatius de Loyola," continues his father. "His mother gave it to him on that year's Christmas, some sort of a blessing of her acceptance with his decision. But again, there's always the fear and worry among a series of his accomplishments."
I breathe in and out heavily.
Do all parents have this thinking upon hearing that their children wanted to dare explore the sky? That endless horizon where many could only gaze up from the ground and wonder what else is there to see beyond, to touch the clouds, to kiss the sun, and to chase the moon and stars? Maybe, like the sky, their questions are also endless—Why would their children dare to take the risk? Why are they in love with something almost unattainable beyond the capacity of men? Why are they so interested to be part of something that is never a part of them, only then to return to the earth? Why do they seek that form of adventure despite being quite too death-defying? Why are they so eager to die young?
"Naiintindihan ko na nag-aalala po kayo sa naging desisyon ni César, at hindi rin talaga maipapangako na ligtas po ang pagiging isang piloto. Lalong-lalo na po ngayon na may mga banta na posibleng dumating po rito ang digmaan," I begin before smiling fondly, remembering how the beauty of flight is definitely one of the reasons why pilots do dare take the risk. "Alam ko po na alam din lahat iyon ni César, pero ano po ba ang magagawa natin para makatulong sa kanya? Kung hindi po tanggapin ang desisyon kung saan siya masaya? Basta't sa huli'y walang pagsisisi sa kanyang panig, panatag po ako sa kung ano man ang mangyayari."
He frowns, making him look almost scary but I stand my case. "Hindi ka ba natatakot sa posibilidad na..."
Mamatay siya, he isn't able to say the words, but I know that it is very evident.
Yes, I am scared. Even if this is all just a dream, I can't help it but admit that I am scared of hearing the news that he had died. And yes, it will crush my soul after experiencing such love and devotion from him this way. That despite him being only a fragment of my dreams... I love him.
"I am," I tell his father, nodding, and not backing down to stare at him straight to the eye. "But becoming a pilot is one of his greatest joys. So, by then, if that's the end of the road, even with a heavy heart, I at least know that it is while doing something he loves."
I don't know if this is some test to show my commitment if I am rightfully the one for their son, and I fear that I just destroyed all possible smooth-sailing relationship.
However, his father slowly smiles and places his hand on top of my head, surprising me with the action. Fernando Basa then remarks, "A worthy answer for a pilot's future wife. I know that César chose well."
I lower my gaze a little, feeling shy and emotional at once, and for some reasons, despite giving my answer, it feels so wrong that it is easy to say such words. But all the same too hard to admit that I can. As if, by the time that it indeed happens, I'll be forced to take everything back and pray that I am strong enough to take the lost.
"Of course, Papa. A Basa knows how to choose the best woman, after all," I hear César commenting out of the blue, causing me to turn behind me and find him standing there with his mother, both of them looking at me affectionately and with great smiles.
And now that I know you exist, César, how do I not love you?
* * *
A/N: Vote, comment and share! Whatever you do means a lot to me, and I am really wishing for some feedback! I am back to flying, too. Though it is so hazy... 🫠
A few list of notes to share!
1. César's college degree and time as an Ateneo student were all discussed as well in the chapter Lt. César Basa (1915-1941) and Creating the world of AH.
2. Being considered as PAAC's basketball star player was something that was mentioned through the diaries of Comm. Ramon Alcaraz, on which he remembered the rivalry between them two and their team's. He also remembered César as a star and a hero.
3. OSP or the Off-shore Patrol was a small naval branch of the United States Army, and later inducted to the USAFFE, too. After World War II, OSP became known as the "Philippine Naval Patrol", which then became the pre-cursor to the modern "Philippine Navy"; in the same manner that PAAC is to the Philippine Air Force.
Chapter title: Knot. In aviation, knot is not the "knot" we commonly know of, but a measurement of speed. But, interestingly, the word itself is derived from the prospect of how sailors "knot" their ropes. Anyhow, the knot is chosen as a chapter title for this as the Reader becomes entangled with that of César's family and the few troubles going on within.
Follow me on twitter @23meraki for more updates and trivia. ;)
#CFBArtificialHorizon