• Polina•
Three Months Later
"Package, boss." Ilya, my second in command, says, his hulking frame ducking through the door to my office with a long box in hand.
And when I say second in command I mean babysitter. Although I've never caught him I know he updates Nikolay with my every move, every second of every day. He's constantly typing away on his phone. I thought Nikolay was joking when he named him my second while I was in Moscow, after the way he treated me in that warehouse I wanted nothing to do with him. Unfortunately for me I didn't have a choice in the matter and Nikolay was serious.
Things were tense between Ilya and I at first. I could tell he looked down on me, thought of me as beneath him, but lately his sneers and scowls have lessened. Maybe I've proven myself to him a little by showing him I make a great leader. I get to boss him around and he listens well so I don't mind him much anymore.
My brow furrows at the sight of the box and I grab my phone from my desk. "I wasn't expecting a package." I mutter, scrolling through the incoming delivery log but I don't see anything that should arrive today or even the next few days for that matter.
He shrugs his bulky shoulders and places the box on my desk, knocking a picture frame off onto the floor. "Doesn't have any information on it, I assume it's from the same person as the previous deliveries. It was left at the gate, like the others."
The grip on my phone tightens at his words.
Luca and Enzo.
It's been three months since I woke up, covered in my fathers dried blood between the two men I love.
Three months since I killed my father.
Three months since I slept through the night without waking up feeling like I'm bathed in blood.
The heavy feeling of grief washed over me as my eyes opened that morning and what I had done sank in. Silent tears streamed down my face as I pried Enzo's heavy arm off my body and slowly rose from the bed. Both men remained in a deep sleep, neither even twitching as I removed myself from them. Enzo was still covered in blood, both of them dressed down to their boxers. My eyes lingered on the bruise on Luca's chest, love overfilling my body at the evidence of the bullet he took for me.
I could still taste them on my tongue, could still feel the pressure of their lips on mine. But I forced myself to step away, knowing I couldn't stay and if I waited until they woke up I may never want to leave.
I knew once I opened the door the alarm would go off and they'd wake up, giving me only minutes to run. Much to my surprise the alarm had never been set, the door had been unlocked all night. It almost felt like a trap. Forgetting to set his alarm or lock his door is not something Enzo would do. I was hesitant when I turned the knob and eased it open but when nothing happened I knew. He may have been doing his best to console me when we arrived at his house but I'm not naïve enough to think he was too distracted to set the alarm, he knew I'd leave without saying goodbye. I won't say it didn't sting to know he would let me leave so easily after everything he had said but I liked to think it was to combat the urge to force me into staying if he were awake when I left. It gave me a little thread of hope, it was a step in the right direction.
When I exited that house it felt like my heart was no longer in my body, like I was leaving pieces of me behind. And it hurt but I kept going. Since Rafael's was the closest house and the last known place Sofia was at I went there first. I felt guilty for falling asleep while Sofia was in a strange place surrounded by strange people. I wasn't even sure how long I was asleep, long enough for the sun to be setting when I awoke.
I could feel eyes on me during my walk to Rafael's house although I couldn't see anyone but it wasn't unexpected. Even after killing my father I didn't expect everyone to look at me as more than Mikhail Ivanaov's daughter. My name will always be stained by my fathers reputation, it's something I accepted a long time ago.
My knock on the door was answered by a dark haired woman with kind gray eyes who introduced herself as Viola DeLuca. Without even telling me who she was I knew she was Enzo's Mom. I still had so many questions for Enzo and seeing her only brought them to surface all over again. How did he find out Lorenzo was his father, did his Mom tell him? How did he tell everyone? Did Giovanni step down without an argument? I had to mash my lips together so I didn't start firing them at her. I don't want to hear it from her, I want to hear it from him.
I followed her into the kitchen where Sofia was seated at a large island, laughing with another girl. Their laughter ceased at the sight of me and it was then I had wished I'd washed off before seeing Sofia so she didn't have to see me covered in our fathers blood. Knowing I killed him would be traumatic enough. Instead of horror Sofias eyes held relief as she flung herself at me, wrapping her arms around me in a tight embrace.
"I was so worried about you." She had whispered before pulling back to look me over. "Nico assured me you were okay but I needed to see it for myself."
"I'm fine." I mustered up the best smile I could manage.
Smiling was the last thing I wanted to do. I felt worn down and only half alive. All I wanted was a shower and a bed.
"Are you okay? I'm sorry for leaving you here so long." I apologize, fighting back tears as everything weighs me down until I worry I'll snap and the dam will break right here in front of Enzo's Mom.
I doubt they'd care to see me cry, they'd probably think it was tears for my father. They'd be wrong though.
"Would you like to take a shower? I'm sure I have some spare clothes you can wear." The girl Sofia had been talking to asked me. My gaze went to her, familiar amber eyes stared back at me. She gave me a reassuring smile. "I'm Alessia, Enzo's sister."
I glanced down at my dirty clothes and then at Sofia, hesitant to take the offer. I'd left her alone much longer than I ever intended, I'd hate to leave her alone with them even longer just so I could feel a little more comfortable.
"We aren't your enemies, not anymore." Viola said quietly.
They were much nicer than I expected. Maybe, like Nolani, they understood I was forced to do things I didn't want. Or maybe it was them showing respect for Enzo, either way I appreciated the kindness.
With Sofias encouragement that she was fine I followed Alessia upstairs where she gave me a change of clothes and I took a shower. I wanted to spend hours scrubbing my skin until I felt like myself again but I didn't want to leave Sofia for too long so instead I quickly washed off and got out.
After dressing I thanked them for their hospitality and Nico, who had been in the kitchen when I made it back downstairs, drove us to Toni's at my request to see Aleksandra. I found Vero at Toni's and I could tell by his attitude he thought I'd been off having a fuck fest with Luca and Enzo while he waited around for me. If I hadn't been so exhausted that I crashed shortly after they laid me down I probably would've lost myself in their bodies so I didn't bother telling him what actually happened.
My second surprise of the day was Toni giving us a van to haul our Bratva prisoners in and the third was him releasing them and Aleksandra to me without argument. It only solidified my theory that Enzo knew I would leave. If there's one thing Toni is, it's loyal to the Family, even I knew he would never do any of it without the Dons approval. Aleksandra was a mess and she refused to even make eye contact with me. She didn't mutter a word even as Vero buckled her up between two of our fathers men.
We put the Bratva men on a plane with Anastasia and they flew back to Moscow where Nikolay met them at the private air strip. Vero and I went straight to Vegas with Aleksandra and Sofia in tow. Aleksandra still hadn't spoken to me and she was restrained to the furniture in our hotel room most of the time so I didn't blame her. Our first day there Enzo's men let themselves be known they'd been following us on Enzo's orders and were there to help under my command.
It was a second thread of hope.
They knew where I was and what I was doing and still managed to control their protective instincts by keeping their distance. It was like they truly listened when we spoke. They were apologizing in their own way and it honestly felt better than a standard spoken apology. They were showing me they could adapt to a different dynamic than me being their captive and I really appreciated that.
It took over a week to find the rest of my fathers men but we managed to do it with the help of Enzo's men. Once we captured them we put them on Nikolays plane that he sent for us and this time we went with them back to Moscow.
The first day in Moscow I ran through the way everything went down at Valentina's safe house with Nikolay and when he asked where the Popovs were in all the chaos it made me realize I had completely forgotten about them. But Vero spoke up and said he had called Alina when I disappeared to Enzo's and she had admitted to warning her parents about the raid. They had managed to hide in the pantry just before everything happened and sneaked out the back right before the house went up in flames. They waited until Enzo's men left before fleeing so they wouldn't be spotted.
Aleksandra had to stay with Nikolay for her betrayal, nothing I said changed his mind and it made me feel helpless all over again. At least with him I knew she was in good hands, better than if it had been our father I left her with. Sofia and I stayed in Moscow for a week while I got everything prepared with Nikolay. And when we flew back I had a group of men that were my own and suddenly I was Pahkan.
It's taken weeks to get everything under control. No matter how much time passed I still felt like pieces of me were missing and I knew what those were but I ignored them and stayed focused on rebuilding the Bratva. My father had managed to keep a few businesses open with the help of the Cartel but we lost a lot thanks to all the intel I had given Enzo. I tried my best not to feel guilty about it but it was hard and I only had myself to blame.
Being back inside my fathers house was odd at first and still is sometimes. Every time I turned a corner I expected to run into him. Every time I walked by his office I expected to hear yelling from the other side of the closed door. Sometimes I swear I can still hear him cursing at his men about the invisible shoe tracks they left all over his polished floors.
I had my men remove everything from his office and his bedroom, I didn't want anything to do with any of it. My office used to be a guest room, I couldn't step over the threshold of his to make it mine. I wanted to start fresh. I unintentionally decorated the room as if it was one in Enzo's home using deep jewel tones and dark stained wood. I hadn't even realized it until it was complete.
I grab the box cutter from my desk and tear into the tape that seals the box, heart pounding against my ribs as I brace myself for the newest gift they've left for me.
About a week ago packages started arriving at the gate. First it was a book, The Riot of The Flames. I froze when I saw it nestled in the box, a familiar bookmark sticking out from between the pages athe top and multi-colored tabs sticking out from the sides. I was stunned to see the copy I had read while in captivity had been annotated and sent to me. I thumbed through the tabs, reading each line he had left them on, the quotes ranging from dark and sad to climactic and victorious.
The next package was a garden landscape jigsaw puzzle. It made me laugh as I remembered the many puzzles I did while being held captive, Luca was always providing me with new ones.
Next was thigh holsters for my knives, made of buttery soft leather that fit snug against my body.
The next one wasn't a package at all but a Tupperware container of gnocchi in pesto sauce. It was delicious and I savored each bite, taking me back to when Luca shared the dish with me for the first time and became upset when I thanked him.
After that I received a brand new set of knives made of carbon fiber. Both blades were engraved with my name in a flowy cursive font that matched Enzo's exactly. I cried when I opened them. I know what Enzo's knife means to him, it's more than just a weapon, it's an extension of someone important to him, so for him to have almost identical ones made for me really hit me hard.
The lid flips open easily revealing what looks to be a black gun case. I release the latches and lift the top revealing the contents. My molars dig into the inside of my cheek so I don't make a noise at the sight in front of me.
Ilya lets out a low whistle as he looks at the M16 nestled in the padded case. "Where the hell did they get that?"
I let my fingers glide gently over the gun, the conversation I had with Luca running through my head.
"I'm sorry, Polina." He whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "We only did it to protect you from Giovanni until Enzo could get things under control, we weren't going to leave you there."
And yet other than the gifts they hadn't even attempted to see me. Three months without so much as a call. It hurt, more than I even want to admit to myself.
I silently close the case and avert my gaze from the present. "Take it to my room." I ordered Ilya, wanting it out of my eyesight immediately. He picks the box up and leaves the room silently.
I grab the fallen picture frame from the floor and place it back on my desk, my sisters smiling faces staring back at me, something I doubt I'll ever see on Aleksandras face again. I constantly check in with Vero to see how she's doing and I always ask to speak with her but she declines every time. I'm trying to give her space but her silence hurts. I know she's even more mad at me for leaving her in Moscow than she was already but I didn't have a choice and at least she's safe there. She may not be as free as I wanted her to be, as free as I always worked toward, but more free than she was when our father was alive.
Sofias doing great though. She no longer has to attend her ballet classes in secret, she doesn't seem terrified to venture out of her room, and I've even heard giggles coming through her closed door. It's so nice to see a genuine smile on her face rather than the timid one I'm used to. It makes me feel like everything I went through was worth it.
My phone rings, Ilya's name lighting up the screen and my brow furrows at the sight.
"Yes?"
"Rodion just called me, there's a shit ton of Irish at the gate."
"What the hell," I mutter, immediately heading for the door. "Tell them not to shoot, I'll be there in a second." I quickly end the call and slip the device in my pocket.
"I'm coming too." The sound of Ilyas voice hits me as I'm turning the corner, almost running him down.
He's carrying his AR, bear paw like hands gripping it tightly as if he's ready for war. A war against the Irish would be a bloodbath on our part, we don't have the manpower to go against them. I give him a nod and step around his large frame, rushing down the hall, his heavy footsteps sounding behind me.
We drive my car, his bulky body cramped in the passenger seat as I speed down the long paved driveway. My heart jumps in my throat at the sight of all the Irish at the gate when we arrive and standing on the other side, face void of emotion, is Nessa Connelly.
"Hello, Polina." She smiles, breaking the emotionless mask as I approach the gate with Ilyas thundering steps sounding behind me like a stampede of rhinos.
"Nessa." I say, stopping at the locked gate. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your presence at my gate?"
The Irish have never had a good relationship with the Bratva due to them having a relationship with the Italians, her showing up out of nowhere puts me on edge.
"I've come to strike a deal. Word is you need an arms dealer and well—" her lips quirk. "— that's our specialty."
I cross my arms, disbelief warring with excitement. "But you work with the Italians."
She nods. "We do and you have a strong link to them so what better way to move on from the past than two strong women coming to an agreement together?"
"And do the Italians know of this because I don't really have a link to them." I shake my head. "Not anymore." I add in a low tone.
Her lips twitch like she finds my words funny. "Of course. We're loyal to those who are loyal to us."
I study her for a moment, still a little shocked at her presence but with her dangling an arms deal over my head there's only one option to choose. "Open the gate." I told Rodion.
Nessa grins, blue eyes gleaming as the gates part. She takes me in. My white bodysuit, black cargo pants and boots. Her gaze snags momentarily on the knives strapped to my thighs before meeting mine.
"What?" I ask, leveling her with a look as I steel my spine.
She gives a shrug. "I get it."
"Get what?"
Her gaze flicks over my shoulder where Ilya stands. I can feel the heat from his broad frame, he's so close. "Tell your Great Dane to put his toy away and let us women have a chat. I'll ride with you." She steps around me, walking to my car without waiting for a response.
I turn and look at Ilya whose brows furrowed but I can practically see the hearts in his eyes. "Don't bother, I'm pretty sure I've heard she only dates women."
He scowls, following me to my car as I let out a quiet laugh. Nessas made herself comfortable in the passenger seat and Ilya eyes her distastefully as I open the driver's door. "I can't fit in the back seat." He says.
She quirks an eyebrow at him. "Then walk."
Ilya looks at me and I give him a shrug. "Ride with her men so they don't attempt to take me out for driving away with her."
He grunts but does as I say without argument.
Nessa gives me another smile as I slip into the car. "You've trained him well, sometimes it takes years to get them to keep their opinions to themselves."
"Trust me, he does not keep his opinions to himself but he is smart and knows not to disrespect me in front of others."
She shrugs. "Still well trained."
I ease back up the driveway with the army of Irish following behind me, trying not to think about how easily things could go bad right now. I'm just glad Sofka is at ballet practice, I don't want her here if things go wrong.
"Do you usually travel with so many men?" I ask as I park in front of the house.
"We finished things early and I decided to make a pit stop." She answers, following me inside the house.
I go straight to the den that we use for meetings and offer Nessa a drink but she declines, taking a seat in a floral high back chair.
"They miss you, you know?"
My jaw clenches and I take a seat in the chair across from her, crossing my arms. "I thought you were here to make a deal."
"I am." She holds her hands up in surrender. "I just wanted you to know. They try to hide it but, Luca, especially does a shitty job at it."
Luca does seem to wear his heart on his sleeve.
"They haven't even tried to see me." I snap. "It's been three months and they haven't even attempted to contact me."
"Haven't they?" She questions, motioning toward herself. "Not everyone grovels the same way, it doesn't make them any less sorry."
Letting me leave the way I wanted, sending men to help me in Vegas but not take over, giving me space as I jumped into being Pahkan, the sentimental gifts they've sent, and then Nessa. An arms deal with the Irish is huge. Not to mention how oddly easy the transition into Pahkan has been, even the gangs around the city have made a move against us. When we first got back I was constantly anxious, expecting a visit from Luís over the bullshit with the Cartel but it's been radio silence and I know that can't be for any other reason than Enzo and using the weight his name carries.
She's right. But why haven't they reached out, they can't expect me to do it, right? I miss them so much it physically hurts and I hate it.
Satisfaction dances in her gaze as if she can read the thoughts racing through my mind. "Now let's talk about that deal, hmm?"
The arms deal we agree on is more than I could've ever expected and I know exactly who I have it to thank for.
After Nessa and her army leave I barely manage to get any work done, my brain much too occupied with thoughts of Luca and Enzo, so eventually I give up and retire to my room. I take a long bath and don't bother getting dressed afterward, opting for a soft robe instead of clothes.
I lie back on my bed, eyes on the ceiling and my mind miles away.
My phone rings and I don't bother rising from my spot as I reach over and grab it, an unknown number flashing on the screen when I glance over at it. I contemplate whether or not I should continue to let it ring, I don't feel like talking to anyone right now but it might be important so I accept the call.
"Hello."
"Ciao, topolina." A deep voice practically purrs from the speaker and I abruptly spring up from the bed, my eyes wide in surprise.
"Hello, little mouse." A second voice says in a gravelly tone.
"We heard you got our present today." Enzo says.
"Which one?" I question, my voice coming out more breathy than I mean for it to.
I pinch my eyes closed, taking a deep breath.
"The last one for now." Luca answers.
"We've let you have space long enough." Enzo says.
"We want to take you out, Polina." Luca follows.
It feels almost overwhelming speaking to both of them over the phone especially after going three months without hearing their voices.
I dampen my dry lips. "Is that supposed to be a question, Luca."
"No." He replies and I can hear the smile in his voice. "We're going to take you out and show you what it would've been like with us if we would've had a normal introduction."
"You seemed to enjoy yourself the last time we went out, didn't you, topolina?" Enzo's seductive voice has my nipples pebbling against the material of my robe. "Except this time we won't have to hide who you are, everyone will know."
I go silent, contemplating their words and whether or not my heart can take anymore.
"We'll continue to make it up to you, Polina. Go out with us so we can show you in person." Luca pleads.
"Okay." I whisper.
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Hey babe's, I'm dying internally. We only have like 2 more chapters and an epilogue left and I'm not ready 😩😩😩😩 How am I supposed to let these three go?
Them getting her gifts with meaning behind them, I love it. I know I wrote it but I love it lol
Writing this made a Nessa book plot bunny come to me. A sapphic age gap 🤭 Jesus as if I needed MORE stories to live in my head.
Thoughts on this chapter?
Love youu🖤🖤
— Katy