I become submerged in the crowd which must be trying so desperately to not let me escape. A hand grabs mine. It better not be Harley! I get twirled around which knocks me into multiple people. I am then swiftly pulled extremely close to the person, my cheek on their chest.
"Hey," Miles says softly in my ear. Ok then. My face heats up immediately. I hoped it was him, I'm glad it wasn't Harley or some drunken creep. I can smell the alcohol on his breath but I could somehow tell he wasn't off the rails, maybe just tipsy. He holds my hand gently and leads me to a quieter (if that's possible) corner of the insane, migraine level loud nightclub.
He backs himself into the wall and leans on it, his hand in his pocket the other still holding mine. I stand in front of him and look up at him. I let go of his hand.
"So did the girl you like show up?" I say normally because I am not jealous and I don't feel bitter in any way.
"Yeah," He sighs happily. Hopefully he is lying to me.
"Did she uh go or something?" I ask.
"No she's still here," He smiles, looking past me and into the crowd nervously. My heart sinks.
"Oh cool," I say unenthusiastically.
"Want to meet her?" He asks, I can hear the smirk in his voice. No Miles, I really don't.
"Yeah sure," I answer, looking over my shoulder at the people who have started to dance and shout even more since Single Ladies started blasting through the speakers.
"Which one is she?" I ask, my voice breaking slightly, shit.
"No," Miles says as he reaches out and uses his pointer finger and thumb to support my chin which he uses to navigate my eyes in a different direction. As my face turns to the side, I scan my surroundings, literally no one is here. Is he in love with a ghost or something? He sighs as If he is laughing at my stupidity. He points with his other hand at something, it's a mirror. Oh?
"Real smooth Miles," I laugh sarcastically as I make eye contact with myself through the silvery glass.
"What do you mean? You don't see her?" He jokes, his eyes are lit up and his mouth is curved into a mischievous smirk.
"She's beautiful right?" He says softly. My heart melts, ACTUALLY MELTS.
"Did you ask Quint to teach you how to flirt with girls or something because I honestly don't find this cute," I scoff. Yeah I do.
"Yes you do," Miles says, moving his eyebrows up and down. I stare at him, embarrassed.
"How did you even know that I would come here anyway?" I say through my flustered smiling.
"You're predictable," He shrugs, smirking at me.
He pulls me in by my hips. Both of my hands rest on his chest which is flat and warm because he legit always wears jumpers and sweaters even on scorching summer days or when he is in a nightclub. He is wearing a black jumper with light gray jeans currently. My mind is reeling and my heart is beating so loudly I can feel it pulsing through my whole body, it's quite alarming actually, do I need medical help or something? I move a strand of hair that has been bothering me out of Miles' face and notice his face go pink due to his freckled complexion and extremely chalk white skin.
"Your blushing," I state tactfully.
"Thank you for pointing that out," Miles says. How is he cute and hot at the same time? What the fuck! He leans in and makes eye contact with me, tilting his head slightly before our lips gently press together. We stand there for a while, softly grabbing at eachother's clothing and pulling each other closer so that there is no space between us. We remain completely lost in the kiss. My hands drift to his hair as they entangle themselves in his dark curls. His hands move to firmly hold my hips. He pushes off the wall and turns so that now my back stays plastered there instead, the whole time we don't stop for air.
We break the kiss seconds later and both gasp and smile to ourselves. Miles rests his head on my collar bone. He breathes heavily into my neck which starts to become scattered with goosebumps even though his breath is warm. He moves to my neck and kisses it lightly. My eyes are wide, my face is sore from smiling so much and I can't help but giggle because I can't be serious in any situation. I move my hands to his face and pull his head away so that I can look into his surprisingly heartfelt, eager eyes. He smiles at me with a dopey expression on his face.
"You're an idiot," I chuckle.
"I know," He says, dancing to the music whilst I hold his face and he holds my waist loosely. I smash my lips onto his once again. He kisses me back intensely, hands traveling up and down my back, fingers catching on my dress every once in a while. His left hand moves to my face and as we pull away to breathe he strokes my cheek. I really don't know how to feel about this. I feel embarrassed about making out with Miles in a public place but also overjoyed that I'm making out with Miles. Are we a thing now? Surely.
"Let's get out of here," Miles says. What does he mean by that...?
"Ok," I say. He holds my hand which makes me feel kind of warm and fuzzy inside, usually it doesn't. I have fallen hard.
We exit the club and walk out onto the street. There is a cool breeze which blows my hair in my face, some gets in my mouth. I annoyedly flick it away. Miles pulls me towards a car that isn't driven by Alfie.
"Is that Quint?" I ask squinting to catch a better glimpse of the man in the driver's seat.
"Yeah, he said he was going to pick me up at nine thirty so that Miss Grose doesn't blow a fuse at him again," Miles rolls his eyes.
"Miss Grose is just looking out for you Miles," I say gently.
"Yeah well she doesn't have to," He replies bitterly. I squeeze his hand lightly and he looks at me, a little smile forming on his lips. Miles opens the car door and shifts over to his seat whilst tugging me into the car as well since our hands are still connected. He pulls me onto him and goes to kiss me but I don't feel comfortable doing stuff like that with Quint watching or even just being in a five mile radius of me.
"What's wrong Issy?" Miles whispers to me, immediately stopping whilst still keeping his face close to me at eye level.
"Uh I just don't- can we just not do anything right now, if that's ok," I whisper back, cringing since I feel like me saying that suggests things that are way more suggestive than I meant.
"Yeah of course," Miles says. I buckle myself in and Miles does the same. We aren't holding hands anymore since it would have been awkward having to stretch our arms across to each other for the whole ride. Quint suddenly starts the car and zooms down the road, luckily there was basically no one around to get hit. I am kind of scared for my life, is he going to kidnap us or something? No, that's stupid. I look over to Miles who has a massive smile plastered to his face caused by the adrenaline rush. He is looking at Quint who is smirking back at him through the rear view mirror. I have no expression on my face because I know that I would never admit how fun this is, I will NOT give in to the thrill of driving dangerously fast down a smooth empty road. Miles nudges me and soon I find myself enjoying the speed and laughing along with him. Quint opens the back seat windows with his driver seat control stuff which adds to the chaotic drive home. The air screams around us as the tires groan and the engine makes low satisfying rev noises. As we finally pull up to the house, Quint slows down a lot as he parks the car quietly so that no one hears us coming back. That night I felt safer than I had the previous ones because I felt like Miles and I are actually becoming good friends and more, hopefully a lot more.
As I go down for breakfast the next day, I notice Flora and Miles eating at the table and Miss Grose serving them pancakes. Quint is sitting in his usual chair looking ratty and if possible even more grim than usual. I look around suddenly nervous, Miss Jessel is nowhere to be seen. I look closer at Miles and Flora, Miles is holding her close to him with one arm as she tries to eat. She has a brave little face on but I can tell by her puffy red eyes and slightly glistening cheeks that she had been crying. I want to ask where Miss Jessel is but judging by the current vibe in the atmosphere I decide not to. What if she died? But how? I don't ask anyone anything, we sit through breakfast with a sense of false positivity which masks the inner worry and hurt that everyone except Miss Grose and Quint (stone cold bitches) are feeling. I found out later what had happened.
"Miss Jessel left in the night, no goodbye or anything. She just took off in her car and now she's gone. Flora is so upset. She heard noises and got up and just watched her drive away," Miles says bitterly, protective over his little sister and deeply hurt that someone he knew very well from a young age has left them.
It's a week or so later and Miles and I haven't talked or shown any signs that that time at The Icebox even occurred. Miss Jessel is still gone and everyone is excepting it at this point, well Flora is finding it hard. She waits at her window often just in case Miss Jessel will come back, maybe with groceries or something. Sometimes Flora wakes Miles or myself up in the middle of the night asking if she can sleep next to us, she says she is lonely. It's now a Tuesday morning, the sound of thudding startles me suddenly. I quickly rush to Miles' room, it's where the sound is coming from. He is playing the drums, that's not new he does it all the time but usually good. When he plays loudly and chaotic like this he is usually taking out his anger.
I walk right up to him so that I am beside him and behind the drums. He doesn't have room to bash the drums up with the sticks since his arms need room to flail around and my body is stopping that from happening. He stops quickly, alarmed almost, as If he didn't notice me. He probably didn't, he gets super immersed into playing drums and electric guitar that he doesn't ever notice anything else around him. He swivels around on the little stool he is sitting on and hurriedly stands up. I watch as Miles walks around the other side of the drums and stands in the middle of his room, near his bed, facing me.
"Are you ok Miles?" I ask him earnestly.
"What? Yeah," Miles responds as If I was crazy for asking the question.
I look him deep in the eyes. He needs to know it's ok to feel stuff sometimes. Although I understand that sadly it is part of our relationship to stop each other from knowing our true feelings. I open my arms out in a hug. He looks at the gesture for a minute, he wants to remain tough and strong but not so deep inside he really wants to hug me.
"Miles," I say softly.
"Isabella?" He says almost mockingly. Are we back to where we started, I swear to GOD IF WE ARE BACK TO WHERE WE STARTED. Oh, he lost someone, he is scared to lose me, I understand. Damn it, why do I have to read him so well. I quickly realize that he isn't willing to let himself hug me right now so I walk closer to him and wrap my arms around his torso. His face doesn't change but his cheeks start to gain a lot more colour than usual. I hug him even tighter and eventually he hugs me back, my head resting on his chest and his on my shoulder.
"Thanks," Miles says, his voice slightly croaky, was he crying? I pull away slowly and look up at him worried. His face is pink and his eyes are starting to brim up with tears. A tear falls down his cheek, he harshly brushes it away with the back of his hand but this just makes more fall down his face. He wipes them away angrily, He looks embarrassed, vulnerable. I take his hands in mine and let go slowly so that I can gently wipe a tear from his cheek. He just stares at me expressionlessly. I rub my hand on his shirt sleeve in an effort to make a deal of rubbing his tear off my hand.
"Wow," Miles says sarcastically. I smirk at him. He smiles with effort and rolls his eyes as he strolls towards his bed which he flops down on. I do the same next to him. Our arms are touching but we don't move, not even to look at each other which feels quite tempting. We are in such an awkward position that It would just be almost funny to exchange eye contact at this moment, we silently both agree on this. My cheek is pressed down onto the bed which probably makes my face look hella weird. Oh shit my morning hair must be making me look like a troll, not an under the bridge troll but those creepy, cute toy trolls with the frizzy, tall ass hair. Luckily I don't think Miles really cares right now but maybe he will bring it up later as an insult.
"Miles," I speak up as we both roll onto our sides to face each other.
"Issy," Miles says, his face doesn't look like he has been crying, in fact it looks almost emotionless, numb except for his upturned lips which are displayed on his face as somewhat something of a half smile.
"Showing emotion looks good on you," I say earnestly as I cringe at the corniness of my sentence.
"Thanks," He says, smirking at me. Why is he smirking?
"What?" He doesn't reply. I look at him for a second, waiting for a response, nothing. All of the sudden he starts rolling towards me, I scream but not a high pitched terrified one more like a dramatic yelp. He keeps rolling towards me as I start to roll away too, neither of us get up, we kinda just roll on the bed until I get stuck against the bed frame and Miles continues eventually crushing me under his weight, it's not painful really since he is skinny and shit but still. I grab a pillow and strike him over the head because I am super kind. He grabs a pillow and chucks it at my face before following that with many more pillows aimed at my body and head. What have I started? I laugh hysterically before becoming serious, I must defeat him.