missing: missing for eight months. y/n summer routledge was the highlight of jj's life, but he never got to tell her that before she disappeared out of thin air. the pogues are doing their best to move on but the shaggy-haired blonde can't get her out of his mind.
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JJ's pov
"We can go on the boat, go surfing..." John B trailed off, "We could go grab food at The Wreck.." He continued listing things off but none of them seemed interesting. None of them would fill the void in my chest or the empty seat next to me.
"You're thinking about her again, aren't you?" Pope nudged my shoulder and brought me back to reality. Although his voice was low and he was only speaking to me, everyone looked our direction. I shrugged him off and looked away, not wanting to bring her up.
I didn't want to think about her eyes or her smile. I didn't want to think about the way she would always ruffle my hair as a greeting or when our shoulders would graze each others as we sat in this exact spot.
"Who's 'her'?" Sarah asked. She sat next to John B as he looked down at her, his sorrow filled eyes then looking up to me before clearing his throat. None of us dared to speak, this would be the first time we've talked about her in almost six months.
Her.
Y/n Summer Routledge.
The girl I knew I wanted to marry the moment I pushed her on the swings in the third grade.
"She was John B's twin sister," Kie finally broke the silence, "Went missing around the same time their dad did." That's all she said before stopping. It was a touchy subject and all of us found it difficult to even say her name.
"Was?" Sarah questioned, even more confused now, "You never told me you had a sister." All of us could feel the shift in the atmosphere, the air becoming thick as our memories collided. All the laughs, the late night bon fires and her singing songs so loudly figure-8 could probably hear her sweet voice.
"A month after my dad went missing she did too, just up and gone one night. No signs of breaking and entering, no foul play, nothing. Just...gone." John B's voice was soft and threatening to break. I found myself getting emotional as well so I cleared my throat and adjusted my hat.
"What was she like?" Sarah continued to ask questions in hopes to get to know her. Even though her small frame wasn't occupying the seat next to me it's like I could almost feel her. Everywhere I went, home, the beach, the chateau. She surrounded me. She invaded my every day thoughts.
"She was the glue that held us together." Pope said as he looked down at the wooden porch, "She was always cracking jokes in serious situations."
"She was kind, unless you messed with one of us, then she was a force to be reckoned with," Kie said and we all let out small laughs, probably remembering the fights Y/n had got in defending our names, "Her and John B were inseparable..."
"She was the best sister anyone could ever ask for," John B looked to the water, "Anything I needed, whether it be a pep talk or someone to cry with, laugh with. Day or night, I could go to her. I think JJ knew her the best though."
My name caught my attention, "Yeah, she was...she is something that's for sure," I grinned, "She's the type of girl you meet once then spend the rest of your life thinking about—" My voice cracked and that's when I decided I couldn't do it. I couldn't talk about her as if she was gone, "Now we're all just waiting for her to show up one day and tell us all about her crazy adventure."
"JJ—" John B began but I held my hand up, followed by the rest of my body. I knew what he was going to say, 'don't get your hopes up'. Well, here's the thing, my hopes were up. She will come home, whether it's tomorrow or in three more painfully long months.
"Enough of this emotional shit, I'm starving." I made my way through the group and into the chateau. If we're being honest, I didn't have even the slightest of an appetite, but I promised myself I couldn't fall apart.
With the fridge door open I let my eyes wonder to the hallway. I saw Y/n's bedroom door cracked open and instantly knew why. John B must have slept in there last night. Some nights even I found myself holding her sweatshirts next to me as I slept in her bed. It was the closest thing I could get to her.
*flashback*
Tears fell from my eyes as I clung to her favorite sweatshirt. Her bed felt so empty now that she wasn't here, that she was gone. It's been two weeks and I was already falling to pieces without hearing her voice every day.
I instantly wiped my face when her bedroom door creaked open, revealing her brother. I sat up, still holding her sweatshirt in my grip, "I'm sorry, I can, uh, sleep on the couch." I swung my legs off of the bed, "I'll sleep on the couch."
"No, dude, it's fine," John B stopped me at the door, "I know you miss her." His words were stabs to the chest. I didn't want to miss her. I wanted her here. I needed her here.
This was the first time I've met myself cry in front of John B, in front of anyone for the matter, "I loved her, man." My body was quickly engulfed in a hug as I clung to my best friend desperately, "I loved her..."
*present day*
Just as fast as the day had ended, a new one began. This time the heavy tension was gone. As if yesterdays conversation never even happened the pogues were going about their day. Kie and Sarah were making breakfast, John B was showering, Pope was on the porch waxing his board.
"Morning." Kie chirped when she saw I was awake. My back was killing me, I've gotta stop sleeping on this couch, "Some pancakes are done if you wanna eat." Without responding I walked into the kitchen and grabbed one from the pile, taking a bite.
"Hey, JJ, I'm really sorry for yesterday," Sarah apologized and I shook my head, "It was a sensitive topic and I shouldn't have—"
"Dude, totally fine. She was here and now she's not, alright? Keep it at that." I know she wanted to say more but despite her urge she stopped and returned to stirring the pancake mix, "I'm gonna go talk to Pope." The girls responded with a small 'mhm' and I made my way to the porch, shoving the rest of the pancake into my mouth.
"Sup, man, rough night?" Pope joked, noticing I was rotating my arm and rubbing my shoulder. I plopped myself onto the small couch and let myself relax.
"I hate that couch, bro, it's like sleeping on a rock." He let out a small laugh and I watched him finish waxing his board, "Wax mine, too." My arm extended to point to my board that was leaning against the chateau and, to my surprise, he agreed.
Today was the perfect day, not too hot, but warm enough to feel nice. I watched the water as it formed small waves and clashed against the side of the HMS Pogue, making it rock back and forth gently. That's when my eyes caught something on the wooden railing. Something that I was just now noticing.
I stood up to my feet and walked over to it, running my fingers against the jagged wood, "Look at this." I called Pope over. Feeling his presence now at my side I showed him the scratches dug deep into the wood. Almost as if someone was being dragged and held onto it.
"It's just a scratch," He shrugged it off and turned back to my surf board, "I know what you're thinking, JJ, don't go there."
"No, Pope, you don't get it," My mind began racing and I ran my finger through my tangled hair, "Those scratch marks weren't there when Y/n was here, they weren't. I know it."
He exhaled a sigh, "You're concocting to make yourself feel better." His eyes held a sad look, "Look, I get it, but don't make something out of nothing." Is he crazy? I know those marks were from Y/n, I can feel it. She's out there.
"I need to tell John B." I went to rush into the chateau but Pope jumped in front of me, stopping me from opening the door and holding his finger in front of my face.
"Don't, man. This is hard enough on him and you know it. We all miss her, but she's gone." I leaned away from him as I took a few steps back, shaking my head as I did.
"She's missing." I pointed at him, "Don't say she's gone. Don't you dare!" I felt myself getting angry. All the long nights I spent crying for her, begging for her, waiting for her, they all turned into anger, "And if no one's gonna do something about it then I will." The volume of my voice must have raised concern in the house because seconds later the rest of the pogues came onto the porch.
"What's going on?" John B asked worriedly as he looked between Pope and I, confusion written all over his face.
"Nothing, JJ is just concocting...again."
"I am not making this up! She's out there and we're all just sitting here acting like our lives haven't gone to shit without her!" I snapped. My hands turned into fists as my nails dug into my palms, surely drawing blood, "John B, you gotta believe me, man, she's out there." I felt tears prick my eyes and this time I didn't fight them. I let them fall down my face. Sarah and Kie looked at me with softened gazes, not knowing what to say.
"Okay...alright, she's out there." John B made his way down the steps, "What are you thinking we do to find her?"
"We, uh—" I fumbled my words as I sniffled. My eyes looked away from the group as I thought about our next move.
"We could go see Shoupe, demand he tells us everything in her file." Kie suggested. For the first time in eight months I saw it. The slightest bit of hope in everyone's eyes, "It's a start."
"Yes, perfect." I replied, "Lets go." They followed as we piled into the Twinkie. Sarah taking passenger next to John B as Pope, Kie, and I sat in the back. As we pulled away from the chateau I looked to where Y/n usually sat, everyone knew to keep her seat empty.
I'm getting you back, Y/n. Anything it takes, because at this point I've got nothing to lose.
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First chapter of my mini series.
I felt myself getting overwhelmed after receiving a not so pleasant message on here from someone rudely requesting so I decided to write a few chapters for myself :)
If you have requested don't worry, I'm still going to be writing yours. Just have to make sure I'm taking care of myself as well <3
Thank you to everyone who's sent me kind words, it means the world!