Neliono
I failed.
I failed in protect Neliana in THAT night.
I failed in protect both THERE.
I failed in protect Nelione on THIS day.
I failed in protect Neliana of the hormone controlled idiots.
Neliana.
Our youngest triplet.
Maybe for others she seemed strong, brave, dangerous and powerful. She is too. But only to hide her feelings and her heart which was broken way too many times. I know how much she suffers on the actions in the past and the guilt feeling. However I was and will always be there for her.
If she had a flashback in the night because of her HSAM, I would come and stay with her.
If she got triggered and had a panic attack, I would help and support her.
Lia got psychically flashbacks, panic attacks, anxiety and eating disorders and physically scars, bruises, burns and many fractures. For example one day they pushed Lia in front of a car. I thought I would loose her too. Like Nelione. I think if she would have died this day, I would have died too. She is the only reason why I'm still in this fucked up game called life. She had a spinal fracture. Luckily there was a very nice and compassionate doctor - Lys Laine.
We didn't spoke and hadn't any responsible persons with us but, nevertheless, he operated Lia for 8 hours and saved her life. There were complications and she almost didn't make it ... but she did it with the help of Ly-Lai - yes that's our, Li's nickname for him. Because after the escape and the Mafia thing we found out that he's from Finland and only was in russia for work but he wasn't allowed to home although his wife had cancer. Such idiots. We owed him something so we asked him wether he would like to work for us. So he can be at home by his wife and does his job. I mean he saved Li's life. It was the last thing we could do for him. He was so grateful and happy.
Now we're very close friends and he is with Oskari, our trainer for Figure Skating, the only person who knows a bit from our past. Oskari and Lys are buddies now too. Why?
Once we - oh god it's so stupid and embarrassing argh. Never mind. Once we thought we could escape the so called 'Oskari will kill us' lessons. I'll make it short, no need to beat around the bush. (It's a proverb from Germany). We thought we could escape if we jumps out of a window in the theory rooms by our training studio. Yea we really jumped out of the window. It was the third floor. But hey we hadn't the lesson then so it counts as a succeed.
Oskari called Lys, he came and after he cares for our injuries we have to listen to a for real one hour speak why you don't jump out of a window. Wether we listen: no. Wether we looked at each other with a 'that was so cool; we should repeat it' look: Maybe. I mean yes it wasn't our best idea but first: this lessons are REALLY bad and second: YOLOOOOO. Spoiler, they didn't find it funny and Lys got closely a heart attack as we both said after the jump YOLO... but for that faces it was it worth.
Finally they gave us as a penalty - we don't like the word punishment; you know why, so they call it penalty - to clean the hole training studio. I think they were just overreacting.
Since this day Oskari and Lys became for us like fathers. I never thought I would say something so meaningful but they really care for us and gave us the feeling to be wanted and needed. Nobody for a long time made us feel this way.
Back to the topic: Since the 'car accident' she has a few problems with her back. Often it is tense and once a week she gets an extra medicament so her body doesn't reject the metal. She doesn't like it and often it ends up in a fight but I'll win and she hasn't another option then letting me do it.
Even if I was there too and experienced similar things, she got the hardest and even if she doesn't want to admit it, she was always because of her ‚superior' mind, her biggest enemy, the most fragile one of us.
Nelione was the maker.
I, the thinker.
And Neliana the analyst with right desicions.
So Nelione didn't mind the happens as long as it doesn't was something in my or Li' direction. I was the one in the background and let most of the time one of my siblings go first and Neliana was the one who stops Nelione if he reacts to harsh or forget to think first and help me with her sarcasm side to get out of my overthinking. One time I collapsed and were caught in my mind... and Li? She only sat down next to me and starts to talk about some random shit. It was so silly that I have to laugh. But she can be serious too and has always an open ear for one.
I love both of my triplets. Even if one isn't on this planet anymore.
After Lione's death I tried to go in his role but I was since always the thinker and not the maker so I did that what I can do the best: supported Lias as much as I can and try to rescue her from her own brain.
In the „maker-role" went Lia and now she is our black wolf because she is as strong as a predator but a little smaller than a lion for example and as dangerous and terrifying as the color black. I am the white wolf. Why?
"And why am I the white wolf?"
"Wolf, because you're not as strong like a lion but smarter and more strategic. And often you will be underrated because of it. But you'll show them always if necessary what it means to 'rote med ulv'. (mess with wolves).
White, because you're helping willingly people and be the kindest person I've ever met." - Li.
Once I have been careless but now I'm the best hacker and programmer in the world.
Once Neliana has been weak but now she's the fucking Donna of the NEM and the CEO of unimerce. She wrote her own history and I'm as proud of it as Lione would be if he would be still here. We were always de små ulvene hans. (his little wolves) and he vår beskyttende løve (our protective lion).
So that it is complete: I have flashbacks sometimes but learnt how to deal with it. I don't have eating disorders, panic attacks or anxiety disorders - no I must say it different: I focused on Lia so I don't know why but they aren't there.
Yes, I changed too. Once I didn't care about my actions and said everything that comes to my mind. But now I'm careful and reserved. I know the hard consequences for wrong desicions in life.
Life.
Such a little word but with a lot of meaning.
Other would say: It describes wonderful, carefree and actionful events.
But I would say: It describe a endless cycle of hard but instructive lessons.
„Forget the past. Remember the lessons."
It can be hard and painfull but for some points its worth it.
Maybe I'm traumatized and ruined cause of some actions in the past too but I must live on for my two other half and my life - Neliana & Nelione.
At the moment Li and I lived in Norway in Hamnøy. It's a little village and a 20 minute ride far away from the next 'city'. It's also more a little city but there's also a small shopping mal and a lot of cafés and restaurants.
Hamnøy
Hamnøy is not only as beautiful as fuck and has the best surfing area but also the chillest and relaxest location you can go. This is also one of the reasons why we live there. There we mustn't hide us in our hoodies and subclasses because every second person would recognize us. Yes that's the biggest disadvantage from being popular. For example we can't go normal shopping because as one of the most famous singers in the world and a professional athlete you will be at least be agreed one time every 5 minutes. Don't get me wrong I love our fans and to make them so simple happy with just a photo or autograph ... but sometimes you only want to enjoy a normal action and have the moment for 'yourself'.
I thinks it's the requirement you must take.
And in Hamnøy everybody knows you and you know everybody but not because you're a singer, artist, bank woman or so, rather because you'll help each other.
Here in Hamnøy I can relax and have my mind full of new architecture ideas. I also created the sketch here and now there stand over own house.
Their house
The back of the house
What can I say more about our lives?
Maybe we're since the kidnapping no longer the trouble makers to the outside but inside and to our nearest we're still the annoying Troubles. All the therapist to which we went are now self in therapy ... I think that says much. Ops. One time one of them said we should close our eyes and meditate bla bla bla ... maybe Li and I tried to built out of our phones a big music box. Spoiler: It was loud ... but not because of the should played music rather because of the short circuit and the followed explosions. But the what did he expected? That we'll meditate? Don't believe yourself!
Or the explosions in the chemistry labor in the night was also funny but that's another story for another day.
I think Li and I find slowly our self peace and can process the happenings from the past.
But always remember that you don't say reasonless: The calm before the storm.
11826 words
Moinsen Wolves,
here's the second part of the prolog. Nelionos' one. I hope you like it and understand his 'vibe'.
I think it gets interesting with Neliana and Neliono.
The next and last part of the prolog is the one from the family ... so be excited :).
See you in the next chapter,
FinLu🦜