*Leighton's POV*
I stared at my sweet baby girl who now had an oxygen mask over her mouth and nose, her face full of dried tear stains, the moment being etched into my brain forever.
My thumb caressed the top of her hand as she clutched to the stuffed cow Colby brought her.
"She's going to be alright Leighton" Gabe tried to reassure me, having been sat on the other side of her.
"You didn't see her" I whispered, not taking my eyes off my daughter.
"I know, but we knew she had poor lungs when she was a baby. I'm not surprised things are starting to show up" He commented, my eyes snapping over to him to see him leaning back against the stiff hospital chair, staring at Gemma who was asleep.
"You're not surprised?! My baby couldn't breathe Gabe! I watched my daughter struggle to breathe!"
"Our daughter, Leighton! Our daughter!" He hissed, moving to lean forward in the chair as my jaw clenched.
"You left us. You weren't fucking there when I watched her fucking breathe all night long the second that damn oxygen tube came out of her nose! You weren't fucking there so excuse me if I'm a little more sensitive about seeing another fucking oxygen mask on our three year old!" I whispered yelled, glancing towards Gemma, not wanting to wake her.
"You can't keep holding me putting myself first above my head. I wanted to give her a better life Leighton"
"I'm not doing this. Not here. Not now."
"Then when? When Leighton? Because you don't talk to me" His voice raised, earning a glare from me.
"I don't have to talk to you. You're my daughter's father. Not my boyfriend. All I care about is her health and happiness"
"You wanted to get rid of her!" He threw in my face, letting the unwelcome memory begin to play in my head.
"I was in a different place Gabriel. Yes, I thought about putting her up for adoption, sue me" I quietly hissed, leaning back against the hospital chair, my right leg crossing over my left as my right foot began to bounce.
Was he really trying to pick a right whilst our three year old lays helplessly in a hospital bed?
"How do you think that will make her feel when she's older? You can't say that me leaving her when she was a newborn to go to college to better her life is worse than when you wanted to put her up for adoption!" Gabriel continues.
"Oh my god. Can you fucking stop? You weren't there!"
"You never let me be there! It was always Sam this Sam that, Colby this Colby that. Don't you think I deserved to be in the fucking loop with my own daughter?"
"You. Never. Showed. Up. So excuse me for taking the help handed to me! You never went to her OBGYN appointments so sorry if I felt alone. If she asks me about it, I'll be honest with her. I don't regret thinking that. I regret it right now, knowing Gemma now and being in the place I am now, but I do not regret wanting the best for my daughter. You aren't an addict. You weren't alone. You weren't even there, so don't you dare make me feel guilty for looking at all my possible options when you fucking left across the country the second she was born!"
"You always think you're all that, don't you?" He snickered, his ankle now resting against his knee, reminding me a lot of Colby which made my nose wrinkle as I looked away.
He reeked of cockiness and it made me want to punch him in the face.
"Our toddler is laying in a god damn hospital bed right now, and you want to pick a fucking fight about whose right and wrong? Yes, I played into it, I fell for your stupid game, and I apologize.. but how immature do you have to be do throw out that bait whilst our daughter has an oxygen mask over her face?"
"There she is. Always thinking she's right. That she's better than everyone else. Get off your fucking high horse. You're a pathetic addict who can't get her shit together for two seconds to even properly care for our daughter. Your fucking friends cared for her whilst you were in rehab!" He exclaimed, my eyes beginning to sting.
"You know, I might be a fuck up, but at least I'm not a liar. You really think you can be best friends with the people who fed into my addiction, and not touch a single substance? You belittled me time and time again, when you were doing the exact same thing, weren't you? You want to talk about being pathetic? I can own up to my shit, but you'll always be worse. You can look like daddy's perfect church boy all you want, but we both know you did the cocaine that night, so if you want to act like I'm the biggest fuck up, go ahead. But at least I'm clean and sober now. Are you?" I cocked an eyebrow, my lips pursed out of annoyance as I watched him fidget under my gaze.
"You were the drug whore. I didn't do shit" He snapped and I couldn't help but chuckle.
"Yeah. That's why you were so pissed about the weed, isn't it? Always wanted to look like the good guy. Congratu-fucking-lations Gabriel. You'll always be better than me. That's why Gemma begs every single Friday to stay with Colby and I. Because you're always better than me"
I could see the tension rise under his skin, but before he could defend himself, there was a knock on the door before it opened, the man in a white coat reentering the room.
"She's still out?" He asked and I cleared my throat, nodding.
"Alright, I'll lower my voice" He nodded, taking a seat on the stool. "Her scans came back good. They appear healthy" He said softly, showing us the Xrays. "Her lungs are small for her age" he noted and I nodded slowly, gnawing on my lower lip as I tried to stay calm. "We checked for bacteria, she's clean as a whistle. I know we were concerned about Asthma, but I don't think that's something to be too concerned with right now. I'd definitely keep it in mind as she gets older" He eyed both Gabe and I, myself nodding.
"So she doesn't have Asthma?" I confirmed, glancing between the doctor and my daughter.
"Correct. As of right now, I don't see clear symptoms. Yes, her attack, if we want to call it that, had similar signs, which is why I'm saying we should definitely keep it in mind as she gets older. Again, with her lungs being on the smaller side it could make things interesting. My personal opinion is that she got overworked and overwhelmed, and as she tried to inhale to breathe, her lungs couldn't keep up. When you inhale, they fill with air, when you exhale, they deflate" He explained and I nodded, looking over at my sleeping daughter, watching her chest slowly rise and fall. "When you begin to hyperventilate, it overworks. It's going at a quicker pace of up down up down" He continued. "Which led to the gasping, and the gasping could make her wheeze from the quick air intake. I wouldn't say she had a panic attack, or an anxiety attack or that she has Asthma and needs an inhaler. My professional opinion is that her lungs, which are already more undeveloped from when she was a baby, compared to where they should be now, got overworked" He explained and I blinked away the tears, composing myself as I nodded, guilt bubbling in my stomach at the thought of Gemma having any sort if medical problem.
Was it the preeclampsia? The low iron? Being born early?
"What does this mean for the future? She's going to cry, and yell. She's a toddler" I asked, the doctor nodding.
"I'm not saying you have to give into the tantrum, but maybe try and distract. Refocus her before she can go to that point again. Obviously she is a toddler, and they want what they want, when they want it" He chuckled, "I know it isn't ideal to play the trade game. Say she starts crying because you said no to a toy. Try offering her something of similar reward. Maybe something she loves to do.. get her mind refocused to something you can give her, rather than something you can't give her. I understand that it kind of defeats the purpose of discipline and not giving into everything they want. I've got an 8 year old at home, I get how backwards it sort of sounds.. but given the circumstances right now, I'd like to not overwork her lungs. Obviously crying is unavoidable, but it takes a lot to really get to hyperventilating"
So it was my fault.
"I would like to add a checkup once or twice a year for her lungs. Whether it be at her yearly appointment, which I see in her chart she's been to, and she's in good health besides her being short for her age" He rolled his eyes, chuckling. "I hate the height thing. Not everyone's tall" he motioned to himself, having been a shorter male himself making me smile appreciatively at him. "I would like to keep watch on her lungs. Organ's don't really grow unless you grow, but they can become healthier. She can breathe better, even if they're slightly smaller than average" He nodded towards us, making sure we understood.
We were given at home care instructions before he excused himself from the room, telling us we could invite Sam and Colby in if we wanted to, Colby immediately jumping from his chair to follow me into her room, muttering "It's fucking bullshit that only the parents can go in" to which I nodded at, still reeling at the fact that this could be a life long problem for my daughter.
I saw Gabe eye Colby as Colby b-lined it to where I previously was sitting, bending down and softly pushing the fallen pieces of hair out of her face, brushing a kiss against her skin.
I saw him murmur something before pulling away, looking over at me, and then past me.
Sam.
I quickly spun around, my eyes scanning his face to try and process what his expression could tell me.
He looked worried, defeated almost.
"Is she alright?" He asked and I nodded, stepping out of the way.
I watched him inhale, and exhale, and then inhale again and hold it as he looked over at Colby who was still fawning over Gemma.
I heard his exhale, his sneakers softly hitting the pristine white tiled floor, maneuvering around Colby.
"Are you alright Sam?" I asked, noticing Gabe getting up and leaving the room. "Sam?"
"What?"
"Are you okay?" I checked in, Sam nodding, returning to look back at our girl.
"She looks so....." he paused.
"You can say it"
"Pathetic" he said softly which made me chuckle as he continued, "I just.. I guess the word I'm looking for is small? Helpless? Fragile?" He continued and I nodded, walking over to him, Colby moving to the other side of the bed. "When I heard Colby's tone.. and him talk about going to the Emergency Room... my heart sank. I mean, we've been best friends for what... 11 years? I've never heard him so panicked and he wouldn't say anything in the car.. and to see Gemma, our little fighter laying in a hospital bed.. it's killing me" He confessed and I nodded, not knowing how to reply.
"The doctor said she'll be okay. Just gotta take it easy"
"How do you guys do this?" Sam questioned, looking between Colby and I.
"Do what?" I hummed.
"Love someone this much. I mean, she's not even my daughter and I was worried shitless"
I smiled, pulling him into a hug. Sam's arms wrapped around me and I squeezed him, nuzzling my face into his chest. "She loves you so much" my muffled words voiced against the fabric of his shirt.
I felt him exhale, his body dropping into mine.
He pulled away, and when our eyes met his blue eyes were covered in ready to fall tears.
I looked over towards Colby who was too in his own world as he fussed over Gemma, allowing me to offer Sam my hand and lead him out of the room for a second.
The two of us leaned against the wall outside of the room, my tongue wetting my lips as I gathered my thoughts.
"Thank you" I started, catching his attention.
"For what?"
"For being there. For being Colby's best friend. For always being a shoulder I can cry on. For allowing me to slap you across the face on multiple occasions. For being someone my daughter can not only love, but trust. When Colby found out I was pregnant... you were the first person he wanted to tell. You are his person, and I love that. I love that I have someone in my life that will be there no matter what. Whether it's a red eye flight, a late night drive of a 4am phone call.. you're there"
"You're my family Leighton. I remember when I found out you were pregnant with Gemma... just.. just wanting to help, you know? And I hated keeping the secret from Colby, it was complete and utter torture, but I kept it for you, and I knew he would understand. Just seeing G laying in a bed with a mask on her face is just.. it's heartbreaking" he exhaled, swallowing the lump in his throat, looking away from me.
"She's our little girl. I was always told it took a village to raise a baby, and without you... she wouldn't even be here with us — hey look at me" I softly demanded, Sam reluctantly turning to look at me, his eyes bloodshot red as a tear stained trail was left behind on his cheek. "You were my rock. You were there for me when no one else was. You came to the appointment so I wasn't alone. You bought the baby doppler and you stuck up for me when no one else would. Without you, I wouldn't have my beautiful baby girl and I know that. Without you taking a chance on me, I would have never met Colby" I told him sincerely, my heart clenched when I heard him sniffle. "I know it's been hard, and I'm so sorry.. but damnit, you'll always be my number one, alright? You got us in this shit, and I'll be damned if you're not also dragged through it" I grinned, seeing a smile crack on his saddened face.
"I love you, Leighton. Thank you for keeping my best friend happy. I know he can be a handful" Sam chuckled, wiping at his face.
"It has its perks, after all, I get free merch now" I joked, wiggling my eyebrows before pulling him into another hug.
The two of us walked back in and I walked over to show Colby some physical affection, Sam taking a seat as he pulled himself together.
"Everything alright?' Colby quietly asked and I nodded, bending down to kiss him.
"We'll be alright"
~
"Gemma, you need to keep your little booty on the sofa" I called after her, finding it impossible to keep this three year old seated.
Her giggles gave me heart palpitations every time I heard them, terrified she'll have another episode.
"Come on G, listen to momma" Colby encouraged from down the hall, leading her back to the couch.
"No pay wif Elle?" She pouted, her arms crossed as she stomped over towards the couch.
"Baby you need to rest" I reminded her, offering her a blanket.
"Coco no go bye bye" She frowned, Colby sighing, waiting for Sam to finish getting ready to catch his flight.
The four of us have been attached to Gemma's hip, the longest we've kept her seated was when she FaceTimed with Stas and Katrina; that was until she ran off with the phone to show them some toys.
"G, I'll come back"
"Sam go bye bye" She grumbled, her lips in an adorable pout.
"He's gotta go home to aunty Kat" I reminded her, Gemma's eyes lighting up.
"Go wif! Go see meow!" She giggled, something telling me the nickname was very intentional; she knew what she was doing.
"Did I hear someone say meow?" Sam called out, trudging a suitcase behind him.
"Yessss!" Gemma exclaimed, shooting off the couch, running over go him. "Go wif, go wif!" She begged, reaching up to tug at the end of his shirt.
Sam scooped her up, bouncing her a little on his hip, "You've gotta get big and strong to come see Kat and I" he told her, Gemma's eyebrows scrunching together.
"I big an... an stwong!" She declared, all of us smiling at her, Colby's movement catching my eyes attention as he walked to the kitchen.
My lips rolled as I kept my eyes locked on where he wandered off to, confused why he seemed so shut down again.
"You're the strongest three year old I know!" Sam exclaimed, Gemma grinning at him, her face showing complete and utter sense of pride. "When the doctor clears you, I'll sneak you to Vegas with me, okay?" Sam told her, Gemma quickly nodding her head. "Alright Baby G, I gotta go catch a flight home with Kat, alright? You're gonna be the biggest and bestest girl for your momma. Make me proud munchkin" He kissed her cheek, Gemma frowning when she was set down.
"No go" She shook her head.
"I have to go home G"
"Stayyyyy" She whined, clinging to his leg.
I went to stand up and snatch her away from him, when he crouched down to her level, quietly telling her something I couldn't hear; Gemma nodding as he stood up, Gemma coming back next to me, plopping on the cushion furthest away from me.
"Colby? You ready?" Sam called out, the sound of a drawer shutting being heard behind me.
"Yeah, one sec"
I walked Sam to the door, letting him slip on his sneakers as I did a quick checklist, making sure he had everything.
"If you want to tell Kat about the baby, you can, but I'd prefer to keep it between the four of us, just for now"
"Yeah, totally, and I'll let you tell her. I know you guys didn't plan on telling me, but to be fair, it's very obvious when you're pregnant" he teased, my jaw dropping as I looked down at my stomach.
"Did you just call me fat?" I half joked.
Quickly shaking his head, he spoke up, his voice slightly more squeaky, "No. You're just more.. lazy and moody" He hesitantly answered.
"Me? Moody? Never" I grinned, Sam chuckling.
"Could never be Leighton" he shook his head, a big grin on his face, his cheeks tightening.
"Never" I agreed, pulling him into a quick head. "Thanks for coming, I'll miss ya loads. We'll need to catch up when I'm not feeling like actual garbage. The not so morning sickness has been brutal. Honestly, the worst part is just the constant nausea. I almost wish I would actually complete the task, whether feel like I'm always on the verge of needing to vomit"
"Was your sickness with Gemma bad?"
"Hers I think came in more waves? I'd have my good and bad days, whereas this baby is just a constant kick to my gut" I chuckled, my hand running over the small bloated area. "I'm definitely breaking out more which is annoying. I didn't have this much acne with Gemma" My pointer finger circled my face.
"Alright, we ready?" Colby spoke up, making me jump as he slipped past me, grabbing his shoes.
"Gemma, Sam's leaving, come say bye!" I called out, hearing her feet thud against the floor, her little arms spread wide as she ran towards him, Sam quickly crouching.
"Byeeeee Sammmmy!" She shrieked, Sam squishing her in a hug.
"Bye baby G. I'll call you, alright? And we'll figure out when you can come to Vegas and see Aunty Kat and I" He promises, picking her up in their hug, standing back upright.
"We should get going so you can go through check in" Colby noted, Sam nodding as he kissed Gemma's head, setting her down.
"Be good for mommy Gemma"
"I will!"
Sam walked out of the apartment and I stood still waiting for Colby to lean over and kiss me goodbye, but he kept his back to me, following Sam out.
"Hey" I called out, Sam turning to look at me, raising an eyebrow. "Colby"
He turned around, his brow furrowed.
"Hm?"
"No hug? Kiss? I love you? What the hell?"
"Oh, sorry" He leaned over, placing a pity kiss on my cheek, my eyes narrowing as he pulled away.
"Drive safe and text me when you're there and coming back"
I saw him nod and continue to walk down the hallway.
I waited around on the couch with Gemma, snacking on crackers and watching movies; bribing her with cookies to stay still, which I knew later would bite me in the ass as we waited for Colby to get home.
I heard the front door open, my head turning to see if it was Colby since I haven't heard from him, only to see Aaliyah.
"Oh, hey. How'd it go?" I questioned, Aaliyah sighing as she slipped her shoes off, taking a seat on the chair next to me.
"I can't get a co-signer"
"We've offered to help ya know?"
"Whatever" She grumbled, her eyes rolling.
"Not whatever. I want to help you. What part of it is frustrating? Just the co-signer part?" I quietly questioned, trying not to talk over the movie.
"That and finding an actual place, let alone a job! I shouldn't have moved to fricken Tennessee! I was doing so good until I followed him" She grumbled, slouching in the chair.
"You loved him"
"Yeah. Loves fucking stupid" She grumbled again, silence falling between us before she shoved herself out of the chair, walking past Gemma and I to her current bedroom.
I let her be alone for a while before knocking on the door, letting myself in to find her curled up on the bed, a blanket pulled up to her face.
"Hey" I spoke softly, afraid to make the wrong move. "You know you always have a room here, right? No one's kicking you out" I reminded her, slowly walking closer to the bed. "I just want you to be happy"
I heard her loudly exhale, shifting to lay on her back, so I crawled into the bed, pulling her into me.
"I'm always here, ya know? I've been through this. I understand how hard it is, and how much it sucks. Imagine being where you are, and pregnant" I joked, Aaliyah turning to look up at me, my arm wrapped around her shoulder as she leaned into my chest.
"I don't know how you did it" She whispered, a small smile pulling at my cheeks.
"You take it one day at a time. Hell, I took it one breath at a time. Sometimes that's all you can get through. It felt like I was freshly in NA meetings when I was homeless, pregnant and freshly broken up with. Inhale, exhale until you can breathe again. We'll figure it out, one breath at a time. I promise" I rested my cheek against her head.
"I love you" She whispered, and I could tell she was starting to cry, breaking my heart.
"I love you too"
~
I listened to Colby's voicemail for the 6th time, my chest tightening as I dialed it again, pacing in the kitchen as Gemma and Aaliyah conversed, Aaliyah's eyes burning a hole in my side.
You've reached the voicemail of *click*
"He's a dead man the second he walks through that door I swear to god" I complained, my hand turning white from how hard I was gripping the edges of my phone. "I said to text me. It's been hours! Sam has already texted me that he's landed!"
"Coco come home Momma?" Gemma asked, rubbing salt into my wound.
"I don't know Gemma" I answered honestly, my forearms resting against the countertop as I collapsed into it, my head hung low.
The room fell silent.
I knew Aaliyah had no idea what to say, because point blank, Colby should be home right now.
I began our nightly routine, the apartment feeling ghostly without him.
I sat next to Gemma's toddler bed, Gemma tucked neatly under her blankets as I closed the book, her beautiful blue eyes looking up at me.
"Coco say goodnight?"
"I'm sorry lovebug. He's not home" I whispered, my hand brushing the stray pieces of hair out of her eyes. "I love you so much Gemma"
"Wuv you!" She grinned, her head tilted back with her chin in the air getting me to let out a breathy laugh before leaning down and placing a tender kiss against her forehead.
"You sleep good for me bug, okay? You get to see Papa tomorrow"
"An Nonna!"
"And Nonna. Dream good dreams okay? Wanna hear about them in the morning. Can you do that snug-bug?"
She nodded, her eyes getting heavy as my hand brushed down her hair.
"Sleep well baby"
I left the door open knowing that was her preference now, grabbing my bin of laundry, turning the TV onto a soft hum as I distracted myself, every minute more agonizing than the last.
I got into a mindless routine of grabbing a clothing item, folding it and setting it aside as my mind began to wander, my eyes stinging with threatening tears as I listened to people on the Sitcom laugh; the moon only shining brighter through my apartment window as the night dragged on.
I tried him one more time, my phone reading 12%, the time telling me it was almost 2am; once again receiving his voicemail.
I let my shaky inhale pull me through the tears as I shoved the bin of folded laundry against the wall, turning off the TV and walking through the apartment, making sure all the windows were locked, the stove was off and clearing a few stray toys from the main walking spaces when I was met with the front door, the deadbolt lock staring me dead in the eye.
My fingertips brushed over the lock as I contemplated.
Did I really want to lock Colby out of the apartment he pays for?
But I live near LA. You never know what could happen.
My wrist tightened as I prepared to lock it, holding my breath, hoping to hear the trudged footsteps outside the door; a few moments slipping by until I heard the soft click of the lock, a tear rolling down my face.
Inhale, exhale.
My shoulders dropped as I turned on my heel, flicking off the final light in the apartment, the scenery of pitch black being the nail in the coffin as I stripped out of my clothes, tossing them into the hamper; snatching Colby's discarded clothes off the floor.
Inhale, exhale.
I got myself composed enough to stop fumbling around, throwing on some shorts and a loose shirt.
I softly shut the drawer, only to be met with our empty bed.
Inhale, exhale.
I crawled into our bed, plugging in my phone and setting it aside, shifting around to get comfy, only for my eyes to land back on my phone.
Why won't he answer?
Try one more time.
Just one more time.
This is it. I can feel it.
Like muscle memory I dialed his contact, listening to the dreadful dial tone, once again getting his voicemail.
He's okay.
He has to be.
Right?
Try again.
Just once more.
He'll answer this time.
The dial tone. The anticipation. The dread. The voicemail.
Again.
And again.
And again.
Dread.
Inhale, exhale.
Inhale, exhale.
Inhale, exhale.
Breathe.
I scooted up in the bed, pulling open our texts, scrolling through the string of unseen messages I've sent over the past 10 hours.
Delivered. Anticipation. Dread.
I felt my finger turn off my phone, my own tear stained reflection staring back at me.
He's okay. He's just.... not answering.
I set my phone aside, sliding back down into my covers, allowing my eyes to fall shut, instantly regretting it as memories of him breaking his leg flashed through my head.
I grabbed my phone again, finding Sam's contact, the ringing irritating me as I resisted the urge to start pacing.
I yanked my charger out, allowing myself to pace back and furth only to hear his voicemail.
I could feel my blood boil, my hand beginning to shake as I inhaled a sharp tight breath through my nose.
Inhale, exhale.
I tried Sam again, once again getting his fucking voicemail.
Before I knew it, I threw my phone across the room, it slamming into the wall, falling to the ground as I ran my hands through my hair, tugging at my roots as hot fresh tears rolled down my face; my body crumpling to the ground.
Where was he?
~
"Is it yummy?" I softly asked, Gemma happily slurping the milkshake as I dreaded going home, not wanting to be met with an empty apartment.
It had been 26 hours since I saw Colby last; it was dreadful.
Work went by agonizingly slow, every millisecond feeling longer than the last; calling and texting him on my break, only to get no response made it feel never ending.
Gemma nodded, looking up from her milkshake, making me smile when I saw she had it on her face.
"Don't drink it too fast, bug, you'll get an owie in your head" I warned, Gemma ignoring me as she guzzled it down.
We finished our milkshakes and I decided to bop around with her, wanting to kill time; the two of us grabbing take out before finally making our way home, Gemma overly excited over her french fries.
My hand reached for the door handle, clinging onto any hope I had left, praying it twisted easily; only to be met with it not budging.
Locked.
Exhale.
I painfully twisted my key in the lock, pushing the door open so Gemma could go use the bathroom. The now dark apartment haunting me once again as I flipped on the lights.
I placed her food on a plate, setting it on a table; grabbing her a juice box from the fridge.
Checking my phone once more, I sat down at the table, Colby's empty spot directly in front of me being a haunted reminder.
Impatiently waiting for Sam's text, Gemma emerged from the bathroom, running up to me with her hands in front of her.
"Feel! Wet! I wash dem!" She declared, her clearly soaked hands dripping onto my floor and pants.
"Gemma!" I shrieked, the cold water surprising me; her giggle shaking me out of my state of shock, "I see bug, please grab the towel and dry them so you can have your fries"
Halfway through dinner, Aaliyah came back and I informed her there was food in the bag for her; Aaliyah joined us at the table.
"Still no reply?" She asked, and I nodded, glancing towards my phone, praying to watch it light up. "Sam hasn't heard anything?" I shook my head, picking at my fries before rubbing my fingers together to get the salt off. "Do you think we should call the police? How long does he have to be missing for them to get involved?"
"I don't know. I don't even know if he's missing. He's just not replying to me"
"Maybe his phone died?" She suggested and I shrugged, Gemma cutting us off to tell Aaliyah that we got milkshakes, boasting about how good it was and how her and my dad got to paint today; my brain eventually tuning her out since I already heard about her day.
"Leigh? Leighton?" Aaliyah shook my arm causing me to jump, my head snapping to look at her. "G asked you a question" She nodded towards my daughter.
"Hm?"
"Watch Punzel night?" She asked and I nodded slowly.
Inhale, exhale.
"Coco watch too?" She asked, and I shrugged, excusing myself from the table.
I listened to the dial tone again, pacing in my room.
Maybe his phone did die, but was he okay? Was he hurt? Did he need help and now he can't contact anyone? Was he in an accident? Is he a John Doe somewhere? Did he have an incident and get killed? Kidnapped? Beaten? Did he leave me? He was weird before he left.. Maybe it was a plan? He didn't take anything with him though?
My brain continued to overanalyze until something clicked.
His meds.
I rushed over to where we kept our bottles, Colby and I normally taking them together.
I opened his bottle, dumping the pills out and began to count.
Due to me working, I've been getting up earlier than him lately, doing my routine without him.
I trusted him to take his meds.
One, two, three, four I mindless counted, plopping the pill back into the bottle, seven, eight, nine-
I froze, my entire body tensing as I started at the multiple extra pills laying out in front of me, knowing there should only be one more.
My eyes ran over the pills, continuing to count.
15.
He hasn't taken his antidepressants in five days.
I quickly swiped them into the bottle, closing it and setting it aside, staring at it for a moment.
He hasn't taken his antidepressants.
He's been cold turkey for days.
DAYS!!!!!
"Shit" I hissed, grabbing my phone to quickly google what could happen if you missed a day or two... or five.
The more articles I read, trying to piece together if I've noticed any symptoms the more I felt myself begin to shut down.
I called him again and again and again until it told me his voicemail was full, tears streaming down my face as true panic began to set in.
My finger hovered over the 9 button, my breathing becoming a pant as I sniffled, my vision completely blurred.
I pressed into the nine, my legs bouncing as I sat criss-crossed on the floor, hitting the one twice.
Call.
I listened to the dial tone, sniffling over and over again as I struggled to breathe, the air getting knocked out of my lungs when I heard the ringing stop, a woman calmly saying;
"911, what's your emergency?"
* * * *
Sorry it's shorter than normal 😬🫠
Written on: March 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th 2023
Published on: March 4th 2023
Word Count: 5625