I couldn't stop the paranoid feeling, even after I kissed Ryder goodbye for work, I still sat on the front porch consistently thinking of the strange silhouette from the previous night.
Pulling myself off the porch, I walked back inside to work on my makeup work from school, missing so much has left me with piles.
Hours later, Ryder smiled as he walked into my room, but I could sense something was off.
"How was work?" I offered, giving a faint smile as I penciled in one more answer onto my physics homework.
Ryder shrugged, before walking over to the window, scanning everything while answering. "Oh the normal, Juan never getting my name correct and some hotshot brought in a sweet car demanding that we take good care of it."
Turning back, he gave me a lopsided grin.
"You feel it too?" I questioned, as Ryder froze.
Frowning, he answered: "Yes."
"We should work on this together-"
"No." Ryder said coldly, turning his body back to face me.
I frowned, standing from my position on my bed. "Why?"
Ryder licked his lips, "Because, this is most likely about me therefore I will deal with it. I do not want you to get involved in any way, okay?"
I raised my eyebrows at his demanding tone, "You don't get to say that to me. You've pulled me in, we're a package deal now, if it involves you, then it involves me. You told me that you'd be honest with me, even if it hurt."
Ryder sighed, "Fine. I'll keep you updated but you still aren't allowed to do anything with it, understand?"
I shook my head, unable to look at him. I had been through so much, I'd been kidnapped, beaten by my ex-boyfriend then had to break out of a gang's headquarters but he still didn't trust that I could handle this?
Ryder glanced out my bedroom window again, before walking back over to me.
Placing his hands on my forearms, "Shay, I'm just doing what I think is right in order to keep you safe, please just listen to me. Just trust me."
I frowned, "Of course I trust you."
Ryder smiled sadly, "But you truly don't. You won't ask me anything, you'd rather dig through my file at the police station."
I stared at my feet as he spoke again, "Look, your mother just got home, I know that you wanted to speak with her. I'll make some calls while you're downstairs and then I'll let you know what I find, okay?"
I nodded, before turning towards my bedroom door.
Taking deep breaths as I headed downstairs, I could faintly hear my mother humming some song that she must've heard on the radio on her way home from work.
You can do this.
You talked to your dad yesterday, it'll be no different.
I bit my lip, of course it'll be different. My mother hold grudges, plus she loved Julie more than she ever loved me and Julie was never even born.
"Mom?" She turned to face me, her bright orange dress moving with her as she set down the pan that she was getting out onto the stove.
"Yes?" Her voice was chipped, as I inwardly flinched.
"Look, I'm sorry. It was incredibly," I paused trying to find a word that I could use in order to truly fit this situation. "Wrong." I finished, still unsure if that was the word to use. "I should've said that you didn't care because that's a lie, you're my mom, it's in your DNA to care." She cracked a smile at that.
"No, you were partly right," She started, sighing. "We were so sad about losing Julie that we didn't seem to ask you how you felt, you lost someone too and we just forgot about that. I'm glad that Aunt Karen was here or you would've alone, and I don't know if I would've forgiven myself for that."
My eyes dropped to the floor when I think about Aunt Karen's true purpose for being here, but my mother would never know that.
"Come here," She outstretched her arms to me. "I love you very much, Shay. I always have and always will. I promise to be a better mom to you." I smiled, feeling a few tears slide down my cheeks.
After releasing from her hug, she ruffled my hair. "Now, go finish your makeup work, dinner will be ready in a little bit."
I smiled before running back up the stairs to tell Ryder about how well it had gone when I opened the door to meet a ghostly pale Ryder.
"What is it? What's wrong?" I rushed to his side, as he wrapped his arms around me.
"My father, I mean," He paused, frowning a bit. "Clay, the police never caught him."
My breath caught in my throat, my mind slowly piecing what he was saying together.
"You think he's following us?" I whispered, my stomach in knots.
"I'm not sure, but what I do know is that Clay is still out there and nobody knows where he is."