𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐞, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, & 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞. 𝐄𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲!
𝘓𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯: 𝘓𝘰𝘴 𝘈𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦𝘴, 𝘊𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘢
𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘦: 9:26pm
－ 𝘋𝘢𝘵𝘦: 𝘔𝘢𝘺 12 2021 －
/ 𝙅𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙧 𝙋𝙤𝙫 /
I couldn't believe my eyes. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The guy who supposedly had died in the car crash right along with my father was standing right in front of me with a seductive look on his face.
His eyes shot at mine like venom. Not only did his stare seem seductive, but it seemed more viscous the more I searched deep into them trying to find an answer. While looking at him, I noticed that the face he was making turned into a cold stare like he was about to get revenge for all the pain I've caused him.
I honestly didn't know what to do. It felt like the only thing that I can find myself doing at this moment is question if whether or not this was real or just another one of my hallucinations. Like the last one I had about Daijon, it felt real and similar to this moment I'm having now. But what makes this one different is that I'm more scared.
Run.
Run.
Run.
Was what the voices in the back of my head were telling me to do. I desperately wanted to run and get as far away from him as possible, but I couldn't. Why did I feel so weak right now? I felt paralyzed while we just stared at each other.
Watching his eyes, he looked me up and down then bit his bottom lip. I gulped, then watched him slowly walk around me in circles like he was checking me out. My spine shivered with chills as I felt him from behind breathing on me.
I couldn't bear to watch anymore so I closed my eyes, then started counting in my head backwards to wake up from this nightmare. I prayed that this was a dream and that i'm just asleep on Latrell's shoulder. Or that I'm just oversleeping in my bed again. But after I had finished counting, I opened my eyes back up and he was still there.
I knew now that I couldn't just stand here. I needed to run and alert someone that he's alive and somehow broke into my home. Just as I was about to take off running, he roughly shoved me towards my bed, then hopped on top of me so I wouldn't be able to move.
"Get off of me!" I demanded while trying my hardest to shove him from off of me, but it was no use. He was too strong. His body pinning me down on my own bed told me everything I needed to know about his strength.
While continuing to struggle to get up, we eventually locked eye contact once again. Seeing the way he looked from up close was just devastating. The bags under his eyes were so heavy. His hair was all over the place that it didn't even look like dreads anymore. You could see the dry tears laying on his ashy face that it almost made me want to break down crying. He didn't look like the man I once knew. He didn't look like Daijon at all ...
I knew this was such a stupid thing to ask, but is this all my fault? Him being in this predicament right now? Would I be wrong for feeling sorry for him? He looked like he needed a hug or just a smile from someone. Maybe this is just all the guilt that's been living inside of me talking? And even if it's that true, I can't let that guilt consume me. Especially in a moment like this. I needed to snap out of it.
I looked down to get a good view on his outfit. He had on a black jacket, wifebeater, sweat pants and some yeezy slides.
What. The. Fuck. Is. Happening. Daijon will never wear the Kayne West collection. Especially after he expressed the anger he felt towards him for not releasing 'New Body'.
All of this was just too much to take in. I never even got the chance to really grieve his death, and now I have to deal with this. This whole crazy ass psychopath that I got laying on top of me right now.
I already learned to accept the fact that I was just imagining him all those times. But if he has somehow broken into my house and is laying down on me, then does this mean that all my other hallucinations were real?
That time he broke into my house the night after my father died must've been real? Meaning I was right all along and my whole family and friends gaslighted me into thinking otherwise. But at the same time it can't be real. I refused to believe he's alive. He died right alongside my father. And if Daijon is alive, then so is ... my father.
Coming back into reality, I realized that I can't just allow Daijon to lay on top of me and bitch me like this. I refused to go down in such a bitchy way. My father ain't never raised no bitch, he raised a King. I slowly pushed Daijon off of me but quickly stopped once I felt that he had a gun in his pocket.
You know what ...
Maybe I don't mind
being bitched after all.
"Okay, you got me. Are you going to say something or are you just going to keep staring at me?" I asked him, as he laughed.
"You know, Jamir, I've been waiting so long for this moment ... " He started, as he leaned closer to my face that our lips were almost touching. "I finally got you all alone to myself again. Your mother is always here with you so I had to wait until the perfect time we can be alone. And when your mom isn't here you're spending time with Latrell. And damn, you stay with him a lot. It was so frustrating waiting for the perfect moment to pop in, so it can just be between the two of us. You just got to be a clingy ass nigga though. But it's okay, I like that"
My facial expression quickly changed, as I couldn't help, but let out a chuckle. "Why didn't you do this when I was around Latrell? You scared he gon' beat yo ass, huh?" I smiled as he busted out laughing while holding onto his stomach.
"Jamir, please don't make me laugh. I got the best of him not once but twice. Do you really think he can beat me? Honestly. You don't even need to think about it" He laughed, as I legitimately thought about what he said.
Oh fuck.
He was unfortunately right. My facial expression lifted from how much that actually surprised me. Thinking about it made me want to gag. Daijon always got the best of Latrell every time they fought. Every. Single. Time. So even if I do decide to stand up for myself and fight Daijon, or even escape him I won't get far. If he can beat Latrell ass, then of course, I don't stand a chance. He's smarter, faster, and stronger than me. If I swing on him, I'm not going to win at all. My punches might connect a couple times, but it won't get me enough time to run.
I exhaled a deep breath to calm myself down. After that my phone started ringing from an upcoming call. My phone was on the dresser, so I couldn't see who it was, but Daijon could. He lifted his head up to see who it was and rolled his eyes in frustration once he found out.
"Who— is it?" I stuttered.
Please let it be someone
That can help me.
"Latrell..." He sighed. I felt a feeling of hope hit me in the chest from just the mention of his name.
Right when Daijon was about to decline, I quickly grabbed his hand to stop him from declining the call. "You know if I don't answer the phone call he's going to know something is up. We planned on getting on the phone the moment I get home"
"You can just say you were asleep. Simple as that, "he said.
"Oh, but I can't. I always answer his phone calls no matter what, so if I don't answer he'll know something is up!" I said as he rolled his eyes at me.
The one time my clingy
skills came in handy.
"Fine. But when I give you this phone you better not try anything stupid, or I'll kill you and leave without a trace. Understand?" He asked, as I slowly nodded my head multiple times.
Daijon answered the phone for me and then hit the button for the speaker, so he would be able to listen to our conversation.
"What took you so long to answer the phone?" Latrell asked, as I smiled just from hearing his voice.
I really wish that he was here with me right now. I'll do anything just to be holding onto him, or even cuddling with him. The thought that this might be our last phone call or conversations made my heart ache.
"Hellooooo? Are you here?" Latrell yelled through the phone, as I shook my head as a way to come back into reality.
"Yeah, I'm here. Just a lil tired, sorry" I said while fake yawning, as I looked at Daijon to see him with an impatient face.
"Oh, then go get some rest and I can call you back when you wake up. I love you" He said, as I closed my eyes waiting for him to hang up.
This is it.
Those were our final words to each other.
No more late night talks.
No more laughs together.
It hurts to say that it's over.
Seconds had gone by and I didn't hear Latrell end the call. Instead, I looked up to see him still being there like he had forgotten to end it.
Daijon looked at me tilting his head as I shrugged my shoulders. I was just as clueless as he was. Usually, Latrell would be quick to hang up the phone call, but for this reason he decided to stay a bit longer?
"I said, " I love you". Are you not going to say it back?" He asked me as I looked at Daijon while coming up with an idea. A very heartbreaking idea.
"No..." I said while watching Daijon smile grow bigger from my choice of words. "I'm not going to say I love you because I don't. In fact, I hate you"
"What? You better be joking. You know I don't play like that" He said with laughter, but you could tell in between his words that he was hurt.
"See this is what I mean. Everything is a joke with you. I can't keep putting up with this. I'm not going to be in a virtual relationship with you when I don't even love you" I yelled.
"Where is this all coming from? We had a good day! We laughed and cried! We told each other that we'll wait!" He said as I could hear him beginning to break down.
"I lied. The only reason I wanted to date you was to get Daijon out of my mind. So just do me a favor and leave me alone. I hate you and will never love you" I cried as Daijon ended the call for me.
"Woah. That wasn't even directed towards me and my feelings hurt" He laughed, as I wiped the tears coming from my face. "I wish you meant every word you said to that bitch though"
"What makes you think I didn't?" I asked as he chuckled.
"You and I both know that you're obsessed with him," He laughed.
"You should be the last one talking when you fucking broke into my home. If anyone is the obsessive one it's you. You're literally obsessed with me" I yelled at him.
"Oh really? I'm the obsessed one? Like you haven't stalked Latrell, haven't been taking pictures of him ever since you got into high school, or my personal favorite; Writing in a fucking notebook about him asking you out" He laughed, as I turned to look at the manifestation book.
That fucking book.
That book actually does work.
Just this morning I wrote, "You'll be greeted with a hug from someone you've never thought to see again". Daijon is that special someone. If Daijon was to ever get his hands on it then ain't no telling what he'll do to myself and others.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
I began breaking down crying from all these mixed emotions I'm experiencing. I just lost my boyfriend and now I may lose my life due to Daijon knowing about the manifestation book.
As I was balling my eyes out, Daijon grabbed my chin to force me to look at him then leaned all the way to my ear and bit his lip. "It's okay, Jamir ... I cried too. I know how you feel right now" He said in an emotional tone.
"You could never know how I feel" I cried as he exhaled a big sigh.
"But I can. Remember the day I came to your house to chill? We had a good time together and watched a couple of movies? I even got the chance to cuddle with you" He smiled from the thought of us being together. "On that day, I felt like I had finally won in life. For once I was happy and didn't have to worry about being a failure. Despite all the awards I won in school, or achievements I've accomplished in basketball, winning you felt like the biggest thing I ever won in life"
Wow.
"Everything was going great with you and I until Latrell came along. It felt like every moment we shared he somehow broke in and got rid of it by making it about him. He knows how to ruin a good moment. For example; Kings Dominos. That time you walked off and he walked up to me to start telling me all the things you did to him while giving him head. I really didn't mean to hit him, but I just got so mad and just punched him in his shit. Then when I tried to apologize to you, it felt like you took his side! It felt like you couldn't even admit that he had done something wrong! Also not to mention the nigga show up at your doorstep provoking ME once again. Repeatedly saying how he's here to suck your dick and make love to you when you were supposed to be mine. Just mine. Not his" He explained.
"Daijon, I did not pick a side. What you did at KD was wrong, and him provoking you was wrong as well. Not to mention on the car ride back to my place you showed me a different side of you that I thought I'll never see. You scared me, and that's one of the main reasons why we didn't work out" I cried.
"That's only because I was scared of losing you. Why would I want you hanging around someone that you obviously still had feelings for? So he can swoop you back up and I'll be stuck looking like a damn fool?" He asked.
"Well you decided to make a fool out of yourself when you fought him. And then you slammed me on the coach the day next! Honestly, what did you expect? For me to take you back after the shit you did!" I yelled at him.
"You know, Jamir, it's just so funny to me that the moment we break up you get back with that bitch ass nigga like what we had wasn't more real! You know, that really hurt my feelings, right? And you're hurting them right now actually. So like I said before, the only reason me and that bitch fought that day was because he kept taunting me. You know I'm not a fighter, but he really pissed me off!" He yelled back as I laughed.
"Okay, I can understand why you got mad. But you have to take a look at yourself and see where things are getting you. You BROKE into my home and have me pinned down against my bed. You're holding me hostage in my own room and you want to talk about me hurting your feelings? NIGGA YOU'RE HURTING MY BACK" I shouted while jumping up in his face, as he laughed.
"Back to my story, the day after Kings Dominion I went home and cried my eyes out to sleep. I stayed in my room the entire night and barely ate for the rest of the week. I felt betrayed by you in every way possible. It really makes my blood boil that you got with this nigga when he is clearly the problem. He was such a dick to you, bro! So I had come up with the idea that maybe If I was a dick to you, then just maybe you'll like me again! —But you avoided me and shut me out. That really broke my heart once again! And that's when i started catching a vibe that you didn't love me anymore" He paused to place his head on my chest and began to sniffle. I knew for a fact that he was now crying since I felt the tears through my shirt.
The room grew silent for what it felt like to be minutes. The both of us were speechless until he got himself back together, wiping his tears with his right hand.
"Yeah, imma admit it ... I was depressed for a few months after the whole thing. I may have stalked you, and broke into your house to see you sleep. But I would always leave without a trace because I wanted you to feel the same way I felt. In distress. I also watched your friends betray you by actually thinking you were the one going crazy" He admitted, as I balled my fist up in anger.
"So you mean to tell me that I wasn't going crazy? All that therapy money for nothing?" I yelled, as he started laughing.
"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I just wanted them to betray you, but since they were so damn supportive that did nothing but make y'all bond grow bigger. Not to mention all of your friends started liking Latrell more than me .... Nevaeh and Mariah didn't even show up to my fake funeral" He said, pausing for a quick second to let more tears out. "—It's crazy how so much stuff can change you as a person. I don't even feel good about the things I made you go through. Just felt dumb and sad each and every time... but then again, I did wait months to be in this position with you right now. So I guess you could say that it was all worth it" He laughed while looking at me with a smirk.
I had never realized the things I had put Daijon through. I really fucked this boy up. He's going insane because of me. I've been so self centered about myself that I didn't even get to consider how he felt back then or understand where he was coming from.
I also couldn't help but to think about how much of a big hypocrite I was back then. I gave Latrell multiple chances, and never gave up on him. But with Daijon, I gave up on him as soon as he messed up.
"Look Daijon, I am really sorry for what I put you through. I realized now that things could've been solved, and from what I see is that everything was just a big misunderstanding" I said as he turned his head away from me. "Listen to me! You have to understand that I love Latrell. He's a really good person now. He may have had his times in the past, but he has changed. So just go home and get some help. Please" I begged.
"Get some help? What? Huh? I was in and out of mental hospitals my whole life and not even they could help me. I have been talking to a therapist since I was 14 and she couldn't help. What makes you think anyone can help me?" He asked.
I stood in silence watching him finally get up from off of me to stand up to stretch. He then walked towards my bedroom door locking it and slowly turned to me with a smirk on his face.
"But enough with all that sad shit—" He removed his shirt and grabbed me by the legs to pull me closer towards him. "Let's get into what I came here to do. I'm finna have you screaming my name" He said while grabbing my throat.
This wasn't love.
This wasn't normal.
this isn't how
you show that
you care for someone.
this is obsession....
𝚃𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚎𝚍 ...
𝙴𝚡𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛/𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜
As I'm wrapping up the ending
for this book, I just want to say thank
you for all the love and support! This
book was supposed to only have a few chapters, but from all the votes,
comments, etc. I just couldn't give
the book such few chapters. I
enjoyed writing this for you all
sm and I'm excited for you all to
see how it'll end ❤️!
And thank you sm for 10,000k
reads. Can't believe we made it
this far!
I love you
&
I hope you enjoyed!