"So loud and so early," Xander groaned. He slumped deep into his seat and closed his eyes. He had a blissful time sleeping despite the nightmare he had earlier in the night. That is until Rhys woke him up with a shit eating grin on his face. "It's eight in the morning Xan," Rhys told him as he sipped on his coffee.
"Precisely my point. Can I get a little bit of rest before you start torturing me again?" Xander asked him with his best puppy dog eyes which worked like charm every time on his sisters even Nesta. "Feyre told me all about this puppy eyes Xan. And I am not going to give into those looks," Rhys smiled. "You are very boring. And old. Is there any people around here that is my age and not 500 or something?" He asked the people all around the table. All of them started protesting in unison causing him to laugh so much so he started wheezing.
Cassian pushed a plate of pancakes drenched in honey towards him. Xander raised his eyebrows at him. There wasn't any pancakes on the table. Where did he get pancakes? Did he have someone make it? "Eat." It was Azriel who said it. One word. Single fucking word. That one had from his mouth sounded like symphony for him.
"But I am full."
"From a cup of coffee?"
"Yeah."
Azriel sighed heavily. "You have been practising your powers a lot lately, my...." the word stood on the tip of his tongue. Az looked around the table everyone was trying very hard to look like they were listening to whatever Amren was saying. But their eyes betrayed them. They constantly drifted to Xander's and his conversation. "It would take a great amount of energy to use such power, Xander. You should eat more otherwise you would exhaust yourself," Azriel explained.
Xander knew it was the truth. He could feel the effect of using that much power on his body. He was becoming thinner and it was becoming incredibly hard to get up from the bed. He pulled the plate towards and dug into it.
When he took the first bite it was like being back at his estate, teaching Robert to hold his toy sword correctly, joking around with Gavin, sitting with Elain sipping the delicious tea made for them. He felt alive. He felt awake. Xander felt like himself. Tears streamed down his face. But he did not care about the tears, he took bite after bite from the plate till there is nothing left. Not even scraps and bits. He felt Azriel's scarred fingers lace under his chin.
Xander was smiling. Xander was smiling despite the tears streaming down his face. "I am full," he whispered. He felt full. Not only in his stomach. There still some part of him which was human once hiding inside him. But he has hope. Hope that he can find those parts and make him whole again.
Azriel wordlessly wiped away his tears and smiled at him. It wasn't a big bright smile. It was satisfied smile of a male who just made his love, eat a plate full of food. It was a smile of a male who just heard the his mate is full. Azriel slowly caressed his cheeks and Waited. Waited for the tears to dry. Azriel wanted nothing more than to lean down and kiss those tears away. But he refrained. He can see clear as a day that Xander too want to do that. Azriel gave him another smile that conveyed that he too want nothing more than that.
Xander turned towards others. They were all watching them. But he didn't care. He locked his eyes with Rhysand. "I want to meet my sisters," he told him. He didn't know if he can see them both without crying. He didn't know if he can speak to them without breaking everything he has built so far. But he has to. He has already put that off for a long time. "We can go now," rhs offered. "No, not now. Later in the evening before dinner," Xander told him quickly. Rhys nodded his head.
Xander needed to have some sense of control right now. Because meeting his sisters would send him straight into a spiral. He needed to have control over something. Even if it's his own powers.
Rhys and Xander practiced his demati skills all day through afternoon. Rhys instructed him to lower his shield and put it up. Do it again and again. He gave him a book about history of prythian and told him to read while keeping his shield up. He later instructed him to tell him what information he gathered. When Xander opened his mouth say everything he read, Rhys told him to use his mind. And he did. He whirled the dagger into Rhys's mind and recited everything.
Dressed in a simple black shirt and black pants Xander looked as graceful as usual. He stood on the townhouse roof garden, were enough space for both him and Rhys was available. He stood there rocking on his heels and fidgeting his hands. He was nervous. He was afraid. Most of all he was ashamed.
"Let's go," he told Rhys before his nerves would make him back off. Rhys slid one hand around his waist and other under his knees. Xander bunched Rhys's shirt in his hand as they shot up into the evening sky as fast as shooting star.
Xander looked ahead. Velaris was beautiful in all sense of time. The evening sky cast a golden glow all around the city. There at the middle and largest peak of the red flat topped mountains that flanked Velaris Xander could see holes and windows being carved into the rock. A number of lantern gleamed in the late evening light. Rhys landed on one of the top balconies where two glass doors stood tall.
Xander hesitated as they both neared the doors. He shoved his hands deep into his pocket and held his head high. He can do this. He exhaled heavily and gave a single nod to Rhys. Rhys shoved the doors open and they both stepped into a open large and surprisingly casual dining room. "Nesta is in one of the sitting room," Rhys told him. Xander nodded his head and followed Rhysand. They reached a big double mahogany doors and halted outside. Xander turned his body towards Rhys. "If you feel anything amiss Rhys immediately call Az or do not hesitate to knock me out by any means. I will keep my shields lower in case," he told Rhys. Rhys gave a single nod of his head and opened the door for him.
"I told you, you oversized bat, do not disturb me," Nesta's voice heard as soon as he entered the room. "Hello, Nes," Xander greeted his sister. Nesta turned so fast she lost her footing for a minute. She steadied her self and looked at her brother. Xander was already looking at her. His eyes filled with tears as he took her in. Her golden brown hair glowed in the candle light. Her grey eyes were steel like without any emotion. Her cheek bones sharper than usual. It looked like she is also grown up a couple of inches.
She launched herself into his arms. Xander hugged her tightly and lifted her off the ground. Xander and Nesta just held onto each other without doing anything for a minute. Nesta finally pulled her head back and inspected her brother. She smoothened his disheveled hair from the flight and took him in.
"How are you?" He rasped. Nesta just nodded her head. "You?" She asked him. "I am doing ok," he told her. His voice surprisingly believable. "How is she?" He questioned Nesta. He didn't know how he was going to face her. His sweet sweet Elain. It would surely destroy him. "Not okay," Nesta told him. Tears streamed down his face.
"I have powers Nesta," he told her. Nesta blinked. "And I started training with Rhys," he told her. "I don't want to feel like that Nes. I don't want to feel like that ever again," he admitted. He didn't have to elaborate that. Nesta knew what he was talking about. He didn't want to feel powerless like he felt in Hybren when the king shoved them in the cauldron one by one. Nesta just nodded her head.
"I am sorry," he told her finally. "I am sorry I couldn't save you. I am sorry I couldn't save Elain. I am sorry," he cried. "I should have fought harder," he said as he took hold her long delicate fingers. "It's not your fault," Nesta told him her voice soft barely audible. "It's not any ones but his," the king. He is the reason for all of it.
"Come on," Nesta lead him to the adjoining room. And there she sat facing the window. Her head turned to him the instant he stepped inside. "Elain," he called her. She just turned her head to the window without saying anything. Her condition was worse than anyone's. Her face so pale and hair dull. Her cheeks were hollowed and her eyes lost its twinkle.
Nesta and Xander took a seat opposite to her and looked at her. Fresh tears poured along his cheeks. Finally, finally Elain turned towards him.
"Wings will erupt, the prince of decay will pave the way. Ash will rain and he will go to where he came from."
Her voice sounded ghostly. It was like she was not herself. "What is she saying?" He asked Nesta. "She only talks in her riddles these days. I couldn't fathom put my finger on what she is saying," Nesta told him and rubbed her temples. "I heard what happened," Nesta told him. Xander looked at her eyebrows pulled together. "The fire," Nesta said. "Oh," Xander mumbled. "It was an accident. I now have better control," he told her. Nesta just nodded her head. Nod
Xander stood up from his seat. He looked at Nesta. "I will come by tomorrow and I will bring something from the city," he told her and kissed her forehead. He turned towards Elain and pressed a kiss on her hairline. He turned on his heels and left the room without glancing behind.
He found Rhys leaning near the door frame, his hands folded over his chest. When he saw Xander coming outside he stood straight. "I need to beat something," Xander said and marched straight outside the room. Rhys led him to the roof top were Cassian was wrapping his hands in a cloth and chugging a bottle of water. "Need a partner?" he asked him as he stepped forward.
"Let's see what you are made of," Cassian told her. Xander shrugged his shirt off and stepped towards the ring. "Hand to hand or daggers?" Cassian asked him. "Daggers. Definitely daggers," he told him. Cassian showed him an assortment of daggers on the far wall. Xander weighed all of the swords on the shelf and everything weighed him down. He needed something light weighted. Something that wouldn't slow down his movements. Something that would compliments his speed.
Xander took a dagger on the far wall and weighed it in his palm. The dagger was a black one with blue gemstone at the hilt. Not blue like Az's siphon. Blue like the sky. He searched for one more dagger and found a silver one with the same gem stone in its end. He swapped daggers between both of his hands and swung them around to test it.
He stepped into the ring were Cassian was already waiting for him with his own sword. "You sure about that?" Cassian asked him when he saw the daggers he chose. Xander just shrugged his shoulders. "I will go easy on you general since you are recovering," he told him. "Is that so?" Cassian smirked. "Don't hold back." With that he lunged towards the general.
He raised the black dagger in his hands and brought it down making Cassian believe that he was going for his shoulders. Cassian brought his sword and blocked his dagger. In a swift motion dagger slammed the hilt of the silver dagger into Cassian's abdomen. Rhys's booming laughter echoed around the empty training ring. Cassian staggered forward.
"Sneaky and fast," Cassian told him as he stood up straight. "So I have been told," Xander smirked. Cassian lunged forward. He crossed his daggers and pushed Cassian's sword up. He sweeped his right leg under Cassian. With a single flap of his wings Cassian evaded the attack. Duck, block, hit. It was the dance Cassian and him were performing. Neither landing a hit properly. Cassian would block any hit Xander would throw his way with ease. He became aware of his speed and sneak attacks after the first mishap. Xander used his speed to his advantage. He ducked out of the attack before the sword has neared him. He tried to evade than attack most.
Cassian maybe cocky grins and vulgar gesture outside. But in the ring he was feral animal, a stone cold killer. Xander now knew why Rhys made Cassian his general. That man is pure muscle power. Xander with his now slender frame was just dancing around the boulder of man.
He ducked under Cassian's arm and jumped upon his shoulders. He whirled the dagger into Cassian's mind. "Fuck," Cassian swore not anticipating the mental attack. He landed face first onto the ground with Xander on his shoulder.
Xander rolled off and slumped beside him. He close his eyes breathed deeply. He was feeling much better with all the pent up energy being released, he felt a sense of calmness over him. Sweat lined his forehead, torso, and sunken stomach. The abs he built back when he was human was gone due to the lack of food. His back felt sticky from the sweat.
"Cheater," Cass said from beside him. "You never said no powers," Xander pointed out. "Which one of you is the oversized bat my sister was talking about?" He asked both Cassian and Rhys when he saw the latter sitting beside him. "That would be me," Cass raised his arms in the air. "Why am I not surprised," Xander mumbled. "Word of advice Cass, don't get on her bad side," he told Cassian. "I am afraid it's a little too late for that," Cass told him making Xander laugh out loud.
Rhys flew home with a sticky Xander in his arms and Cass followed them. Xander took a shower and got ready for dinner. He saw his sisters today. They are all broken but not beyond repair. They can overcome this hurdle, he knows they can. With a new found determination Xander left for dinner that night.