🚩🌶️ KISSING
Spring.
You keep your eyes down and let whoever it is pass by unnoticed, you just need to catch your breath for a moment.
"We always end up out here. At least we have every time I mean. Every time I've seen you here." Shane's low voice comments.
In disbelief you look over to be met by Shane's face, confirming that he was in fact there. Deep breaths fill your lungs as you try and forget Emily trying to play matchmaker and the outfit she had you dress up in. It felt like you were exposed now standing out in the darkness in shorts and sandals.
"Yeah, I guess we do." You reply quietly and look back at the stone walkway.
Shane is silent for a few moments before trudging over and leaning against the wall beside you. Silence continues and is only broken by the continued chirps of insects and night fowl. Oddly enough the quiet is calming rather than demanding. You feel no need now to speak up and break the silence.
Liquid gurgles as Shane swigs at one of the two full beers he had brought out with him. The glass clinks against the brick wall gently when he drops his arm.
"It's a nice night." He comments without emotion.
You glance to him next to you, "It is. Spring feels like it's here now."
Shane turns to you and holds your eyes in silence. Allover again you are swept up into the complexity of them. The pain, the passion, the hidden depths of broken dreams and foggy memories. Heartbeats in your ears slow now in the calm of the night, there is no pressure from outsiders to dictate your actions.
"I'll be right back." Shane informs you before going back inside the bar.
Alone once again you close your eyes and breathe in the warm air. The night feels slow now. Peace to leave you to the decisions of how the night will go.
You pull your cell phone from the tote bag and the clock reads that it is barely 9pm. The night is young, full of unexpected promise and opportunity.
Gus' wifi connects and your notifications explode with social media messages from your father. Scrolling down as far as you can they all read his name. Only having wifi when you're at Gus' probably left your dad worried for your wellbeing. That isn't something you want to deal with now and you drop the phone back into your bag. Bricks scratch at your shoulders as you lean back against the wall and breathe in the silence.
The saloon door creaks open and Shane is by your side again. In his hand is a six pack of the pale ales you'd been drinking every time you came to the saloon.
"I think you like these ones... right? I always see you drink them."
Gleefully you nod and bite your lip to diminish the smile creeping out. He had been paying attention to you and took care to remember something you liked. Shivers ripple down your legs in this proximity to him.
"You wanna go?" He asks, head downward but his eyes look up to you.
You nod again in the same way, "Yeah. That sounds good."
Enjoying the ambiance of the night you walk with him again in silence. The sounds of clinking bottles occasionally ring out from the case Shane is swinging beside him. He leads the path to the beach again. This feels like a common theme for you two now.
At the top of the water Shane stops and plops down the case, then himself. You follow suit and sit so the beers make a barrier between the two of you. Unbuckling your sandals you sink your bare feet into the warm sand. It feels almost as though you are immersed into the dream you had about him, being here with him again. Acutely but unrealistically, you wished for it to be real.
"I've been here a few months now. Living with my aunt... and goddaughter." Shane pops the caps off of two bottles and hands one off to you.
You drink to refresh yourself and reply, "I remember... you'd mentioned that before. How do you like it?"
His voice is low, "It's fine I guess. A lot slower than Zuzu... I used to live there."
"Me too. It is really different here huh?"
Shane drinks deeply from his bottle. You have no idea how many drinks he had before you got to the saloon and his rising number was concerning to you. Emily's annoyance at serving him nights previously was beginning to make more sense to you. You tried not to make assumptions though, you'd only just met him.
You speak again to keep him open to you, "You have a goddaughter? I don't think I've seen her around."
Shane looks down, his arm around one knee and the other leg stretched before him digging into the sand. "Yeah, she's seven. I've had her a couple years now. My aunt has been helping me out with her." His voice trails away.
With the bottom of your bottle, you trace shapes into the sand in front of you. Waves crashing onto the shore dispel the sound of the animals in the night. Salt in the air is aromatic and immerses you again into the beach as you had been the previous time Shane brought you here. Looking along the horizon line the ocean is endless. Stars dotting the sky drown into the depth of the water where your eyes can't see any farther. Just as Shane feels from you now, the stars look to be out of reach of your wandering eyes.
"I wish I could be better for her." Shane says so quietly you nearly miss it.
You look over your shoulder at him and see his eyes searching the same horizon yours had been. They plead for a grasp on whatever to him is impossible.
"She's lucky to have you. She'd be away from family without you... I'd assume at least."
"Sure." He says gruffly and dismisses the topic.
Still you keep your gaze on him and wish for him to open up to you. The attraction you feel for him is nearly compelled from within, some unknown force demanding it. Wisps of hair lift from his head in the night breeze. Reflections of deep natural blues and violets shimmer under the moonlight. The waves of the ocean are just the same, glittering a deep blue in the evening air.
Shane twists the base of an empty bottle into the sand until it's buried halfway. He then pinches up grains of the sand and begins to fill them into the empty reservoir. Playfully you copy him and begin to dump pinches of your own into the opening of the bottle. The two of you continue until it overflows.
A deep chuckle rolls in Shane's chest in enjoyment for your company. His eyes flick up to yours to find a warm smile on your face. A few tense moments pass before you bite your lip and turn back to the waves. The slipping noises of shifting sand creep up to you as Shane moves the box of drinks and slides to sit beside you. Warmth from him is detectable on your bare shoulders, sending a shiver down your spine.
"Are you cold?" He asks.
You blush and keep your face toward the water, "No, I'm okay."
Fingers reach up and pinch the fabric of your shirt sleeve between them, examining the texture of the material. "I like this top on you, (Y/N). It's really pretty."
An explosion of glitz fires inside of you at his compliment. It is hard for you to realize that he had just said that. All the worry you had before of Emily overdoing it with you leaves your mind. Butterflies flutter inside your stomach involuntarily.
"Thank you, Shane." You say quietly.
Your eyes meet his again when you feel the coziness of his hand wrapping around yours. His expression is softer as though he is trying actively to relax himself in your presence. You understand that he is trying to find a way to be open to you through a barrier of mistrust and hurt. It is clear that time will have to be allowed for him to find his footing in such a scary new place. You are more than willing to wait.
Curves of green and gold hypnotize you into this new vicinity with him. A scent of warm ale and woodsy musk billows against your nose as it is caught in the warm gentle gusts of the shoreline. It's intoxicating to your senses and luring you to never leave Shane's side. You never want to.
His eyes leave yours only to study the bared pieces of you. Sand sticks to your legs without guard from the ground, and you can feel it shifting around where you've buried your tired feet. Shane makes no haste in looking you up and down. His eyes linger on every spot and memorize the curves and dips of your legs, your waist, your shoulders, your face. Every passing second of his studying makes it feel more and more intimate.
Audible pounding of your heart wraps around your temples. Instinctual responses welcome themselves into you as you continue to watch Shane enjoying himself just by taking your image in. Hoping that your anxiety isn't noticeable with your slightly shaking hand in his you allow him to continue without interruption.
He clears his throat and breaks the tangibly thick silence, "I have the day off tomorrow. Would you maybe want to hang out?" He sounds unsure of himself.
Of course you would, there is little you wouldn't do just to spend time with him away from the river bridge or the beach. The confusion that wrapped you up both between him and Harvey had however left you so conflicted about your standing. Shane had made hints that he may like you, but you couldn't bear to be unsure again as you had been on your day out with Harvey. A small glimmer of hope resonated within you that the people you connected to in Pelican Town would be different from those in Zuzu. But that microscopic remainder was all you needed to begin.
You build courage to find the clarity you need, "As a date... Or as friends?"
Already you can tell Shane feels bashful by your question, which only made your concern grow more. It would be hard to hang out with him as a friend when your body surged with electricity just being near him.
He keeps his eyes on yours and strengthens his point. "As a date. We could go for a walk at the lake and then maybe watch a movie? I have some games we could play too..."
Overwhelming wooziness hits you. Relief is granted from his decisiveness about his intentions with you. Nerves build in fear of messing up or not being to his standards. At the same time reassurance protects your blooming feelings for him and rids the uncertainty of how he feels about you.
"I'd love to." Your hand squeezes tightly in his to punctuate your response.
That same threat of the slightest smiles plays at his expression as it had earlier in the saloon. Everything feels like it's falling into place beneath the cover of the twinkling stars.
Shane moves slowly as though time has stopped. Every millisecond that passes feels like years. His eyes search yours for the reassurance you know he so desperately craves behind his mask of defiance. Bravely you stroke your free hand against the scruff of his jaw, adoring the sensation against your palm. Your fingers meet and run through the soft strands of close-cropped hair that touches him where you wish you could. You stop and rest your curious fingers nearly on top of his head, comforted by the silky texture of his hair. His hand copies yours and strokes upward against your throat and cups snugly between your jaw and the secure back of your neck. Small delicate hairs at the nape are pulled between his fingers as they become tangled.
Surely he can feel the pounding of your nervous heart as blood surges beneath where his hand rests, pulsating with excitement for his touch. The moment is infinite and electric as only he and you can feel the fire beneath eachothers' fingers.
Sweet ale-tinged breath exhales from him and brushes against your lips that are merely inches from his. He holds himself to you like this for what feels like the longest time you'd ever been so willingly admired. His undivided attention and apparent craving for you is an entirely new territory. Never before had a man savored you like this, treating you like the most precious thing in the universe.
His words touch you again in a sweet exhale barely above a whisper, "Can I kiss you?" The sound is swept away with the breeze as it passes by your ear.
You hold yourself on him and prolong the moment, taking all that you can to make yourself feel wanted. With him, it feels like there is no woman in the world other than you.
Wavering covers your voice, nearly masking the words entirely. "Please... yes."
The fine distance remaining between you is closed as you meet Shane halfway. Gently his lips press against yours in need. The warmth on his breath becomes an undeniable fever against your lips. Motions between the two of your colliding mouths are steady and prolonging the kiss as much as possible. This feels so much like the dream you had about him, only now it would be incomparable to how it feels in reality.
Somehow the salt in the humid air has lightly settled on his lips and you can taste it against yours. The aroma of the drinks he had before had no repelling sense between you. It was sweet and homey as he had been drinking your ale of choice. It makes you hungrier for him to keep going, to further his playing at your body.
Just as he had that night you lie alone with your thoughts, his tongue skims against the soft skin of your lips, asking permission again to kiss you more entirely. There is no hesitation on your behalf and you let him in, slowly building up the intensity of which you are kissing him. You taste him, warm beer and salt that tell of his evening spent by your side. The scruff on his jaw grazes against your cheeks as he reciprocates the potency in his touch. A soft exhaled sound of enjoyment vibrates against his throat as it leaves him. The feeling of his hot, wet tongue is making your experience equally enjoyable.
The hand he had wrapped onto the nape of your neck now gently tugs a fistful of your hair, locking you into place on him. The desperate need for more overwhelms you and tries to take control of your body, but you pace yourself. This was something you wanted to enjoy. Tonight, and many more nights to come. You craved to keep him hungry for you, eager to please your needs when they came up.
Your core warms and radiates between your legs and he continues to weigh his mouth against you, pressing his tongue deeply inside to find yours. Arousal is tempting to take control of your better senses, but you must try to keep them at bay.
Shane adjusts his position to be leaning over in front of your body, trapping you against the white sand of the beach. His wants are entirely in control and you aren't opposed. His body gently begins to weigh against yours with excitement to fulfill its desires. You notice the sensation of his hardened cock through your shorts against your responsive wetness, the rigidity driving you mad. Your body compels you to take him on the beach, right here, right now. It is hypnotically tempting to give in to. Another sound of satisfaction whispers deep inside Shane's chest, daring you to continue through.
You slow down your lips' momentum to easily break the contact between the two of you. Your body is hungry for his and screams in anger at your movements being made to slow down his touch. This is what you want, he is what you want. Fear of moving too quickly consumes you as you slowly pull away and fixate on him.
Your hands lightly stroke his biceps through his blue sweatshirt, "Shane..." you start. You look again at his lips and back up to him. You bite your lip to stop the words from jumbling out.
"I know." He says simply in understanding. He isn't upset or let down by you stopping.
He takes position and lies beside you on the sand, taking your hand back in his. The sky above you feels just as infinite as always, a shared experience between the two of you. Something within him had shifted, letting you see inside where he hides. You wondered if you were the only person he had been able to begin softening for, or if someone else too had seen this part of him.
He turns to meet you again, resting his hand on your throat, stroking the curve of your jaw with his thumb. The slight rough texture felt good against your delicate skin, it balanced out.
Tasting ale on your tongue still you desperately want to kiss him again, but your better judgement doesn't want this moment to end. Fear looms over you that you'll lose him when he's barely been given to you. It feels good though to pace yourself and prolong whatever may be building between you and him.
Minutes turn to hours it feels like as you're lost in his eyes. The silence welcomes itself back into the present and the air becomes thick again. The sound of the waves creeping upward and back against the sand lulls your mind. The cozy warmth of Shane's body eases your tension in slow peaceful strokes. Sleepiness slowly falls upon you and your eyes feel heavy against Shane's chest where you lie, and you welcome the tranquil grasp.
📝🌸💖 Heyyy you! I really hope I did this first kiss some justice, Yoba knows out Shane deserves it! Let me know what you're thinking about it, or just whatever thoughts you have while reading!
Toodles, XOXO💖