"Excuse me?"
The water you had dancing above your head fell onto you and you opened your eyes in annoyance.
I am on a roof, who could possibly—
"Kid, you're kind of close to the edge there."
The water soaking you hair was flung out and turned to ice picks in the air, shooting in the direction of the one who had snuck up on you.
In return, red feathers collided with them and both stopped and fell to the roof the two of you resided on.
You sighed and flicked your wrist. The ice returned to water and found refuge in the pouch that lied beside you. "Hawks."
"You could look at me when you're greeting me."
"I could." You picked up your bento box you prepared for yourself, which only had store bought mochi in it, and pretended to be occupied with it.
He sighed. "I get that you're mad at me."
"I am?"
He noticed the genuine confusion in your voice. "Do you... know how it feels?"
"Anger... Yes, I do. I'm not angry at you." You opened your bento box, then closed it, then opened it again.
I'm not angry at him, right? It doesn't feel like anger. But, it's not like I don't have some sort of negative emotion aiming at him.
You thought about when you heard of Hawks' role in Twice's death, how this odd feeling bordering anger and frustration filled your chest. Every time you heard him, you thought about what he had said to Twice.
"Is this about Twice?"
You were silent, still isolated in your own conflicted thoughts.
Hawks glanced at your hero costume folded at your side, then at your sweater that didn't seem to belong to you on your figure. As far as he was concerned, the only person you spoke to while you were out here was Midoriya.
It's not that you were one who needed to talk to someone like most people did. You seemed to actually find solace in silence. After all, rooftops were your favourite places. Especially the high ones from where no one could see you.
You always seemed off put by Hawks, and he always thought it was because you and him were so different.
His morals, especially.
Yours were so set in stone and he was so loose with them. Honestly, his morals were flimsy. He was a hero but he had so much blood on his hands. You, on the other hand, felt guilty for things that you couldn't even control—not that you even killed anyone.
He was "optimistic to a fault", to the point where he seemed morally bankrupt. You saw it that way, at least.
For a long time, he didn't say anything. It was so long that you thought he had left.
Then the sight of his crimson wings came into your peripheral vision and you found him perched on the side of the roof like a bird.
"We call the feeling contempt." He said, following your gaze to the land below. "Wanna have a heart to heart?"
You sighed. "Fine."
"So what's your deal with the league?"
"When you spend enough time with people, you begin to understand them. Don't you think?"
"You have... a lot more compassion than someone would think."
You hummed.
"You know it had to be done."
"My father has said that before."
For the first time, you saw Hawks get stunned to silence.
You placed your bento box beside you next to your pouch of water. "The line between heroes and villains, I have found, is not very defined. Most of the time, both sides think they're fighting for the greater good. So, Hawks, how do you go about defining heroes and villains?"
"That's a good question." He took a while to reply. Actually, he never really did reply. He simply said, "I guess we're all just fighting for what we believe."
You simply nodded in response. "In very different ways."
Hawks sighed, deeper than the other sighs that were intertwined with this conversation.
You stared at the scars that poked through your sweater's sleeves, remembering who had made them. Burns from Dabi. Scratches from Toga. But not a single one was from Twice.
"Hawks, I don't recall you ever caring if people like or dislike you."
"I don't. Think what you think, I'm probably not gonna change."
"So why mention this?"
His mouth twisted into a frown. "I don't know. Maybe because you're probably in the right. Most if not all the things you argue about aren't opinions and more... philosophies."
"I was arguing about Gojo and Nanami before coming here."
"Okay, point taken."
"I'm not 20, I can have normally conversations."
"With your social skills?"
You elbowed him and he nearly toppled off the building. "With your status in the media?"
"That's low."
"You're the one who said that popularity is more important than anything."
You were quiet again. "Twice was someone with a good heart. He fought for a goal that wasn't ours. Is that really a grounds to kill someone?" You clasped your hands together in your lap. "Is anything really grounds to kill someone?"
"I guess not."
"Shigaraki often goes on rants about heroes, how they failed him. Midoriya, I heard, had won over Lady Nagant because he showed her that her goal was wrong. Shigaraki doesn't have anyone that did that. He thinks that the hero society is corrupt, with no true heroes. I wanted to show him somehow that it's not the case."
Hawks chuckled and stood, ruffling you hair. "You're pretty good at putting yourself in other people's shoes, huh?" And he flew off, sending a gust of wind through your hair.
You watched him soar through the air, getting further and further away. You decided that there was no point in trying to understand Hawks.
Or anyone for that matter.
As long as you understood yourself and what you fought for. After all, what's the point of fighting for it if you don't understand it?
•••
You were flung off the building and crashed into the window right across from it.
Your assailant bulleted towards you and you crossed your arms in front of you, making their blade collide with the cuffs around your wrist.
A gust of wind sent them back and you sped towards them. Water from the pouch on your belt came out at your command but before you could do anything, they bashed your head with the handle of their spear.
Dizziness overwhelmed you and you began plummeting to the ground.
"Y/N!" Ice appeared in your vision and someone grabbed you from the air. "Froppy, Uravity, arrest the assailant!"
"On it!"
The voice... You lifted your hand and gripped the fabric of the shirt belonging to the person holding you. "Shouto?"
"Just rest now. I can tell you haven't been doing so."
You sighed, shakily, the only thing you had ever let slip. "Yes... thank you."
•••
You tried following Yaoyorozu's finger, only for you to get dizzy and stop following its curvy path across the air.
"Yes, I believe you have a concussion." She concluded, placing her hand elegantly in her lap.
You began saying something, only to feel another cold hand place itself on your temple. "Shouto, I'm fine." You swatted his hand away again. "It'll bruise whether you ice it or not."
Clearly not listening, he put his hand back on the side of your face from behind you and you sighed in defeat.
"You should've come and asked us to help out!" Kaminari scolded. "Like damn, you've just been eating mochi and instant noodles?!"
"That's not true."
"She had a croissant."
You turned to face the boy who was trying to ice your head, an unamused expression—at least, more unamused than usual—aiming at him. He didn't take it back, though. Not that he needed to, as he was right.
"Why didn't you come back and ask us to assist?" Iida reworded.
You shrugged, playing with water droplets above your palm. "I was waiting for someone."
"Oh? Is a friend missing?" Yaoyorozu took your other hand. "We could send out a search party."
"Not missing. I don't think so. He just last called me while he was at the airport and I haven't heard from him since. If he was still at the airport, he'd be able to message me. In the air, that's a different story, but I don't know how the current state of affairs has affected air travel."
You turned your head and saw Midoriya walk in. "Ah, Midoriya. How are you? You finally got that filth off of you."
"Yeah, thanks to the others."
You got up. "Sorry, but is there a place I can rest?"
"Well, your room was changed to a storage room, then a place for citizens to stay, so..." Before Mina continued, Shouto spoke up. "Stay in my room. It's separated into two so we can each have one."
You nodded and made your way to Shouto's room.
Mina grinned. "Same room, huh?"
"I just said we'd be in separate rooms."
•••
A few hours later, Shouto knocked on the door to make sure you weren't in a compromising position and opened it to see you seated in the centre of the room, pebbles slowly circling around you.
"Y/N?"
You flinched and they all dropped. "Shouto." You moved a piece of hair behind your ear. "I didn't hear you come in."
"You seem to be doing that a lot."
"Doing what?"
"Just making things float around you. Like water and such. Is there a reason?"
You sighed, dragging the pebbles towards you. "My mom's quirk is hard to control. My father had no problem with it since, well, it's my father, but I can't maintain enough focus to use it properly."
"How does it work? Maybe I can help." Shouto sat on the ground next to you and picked up a pebble.
You stared at his hands for a while.
"Justin said that it was like a domain that formed around her when she used her quirk. Her life force would spread across it and she could control whatever she wanted within it. But if I don't focus while using it..."
You took in a deep breath and suddenly the air in the room began swirling psychotically, the pebble shaking and being lifted into the air, wood began to splinter, ice accumulated under you and began to grow... then all calmed.
"Sorry." You breathed before falling forward. He grabbed you before you hit the ground and pulled you in. "The ice..."
He recalled when he went into your room and saw your entire room covered in ice. Was this what had happened? Losing control over your mother's quirk? What about the blood?
But of all the things you could control, fire never ignited.
He knew, even though he held you in his arms, that you feared fire still. And still, you managed to somehow develop this thing one calls... a crush.