𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐞, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, & 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞. 𝐄𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲!
𝘓𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯: 𝘓𝘰𝘴 𝘈𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦𝘴, 𝘊𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘢
𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘦: 1:30pm
－ 𝘋𝘢𝘵𝘦: 𝘔𝘢𝘺 12 2021 －
/ 𝙅𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙧 𝙋𝙤𝙫 /
I stood there in silence waiting for him to tell me that this was just a joke and that he's staying for the entire summer. But guessing by his facial expression, I knew this wasn't a joke anymore. He was being dead serious.
Of course, I was happy for him. I was excited that my boyfriend actually has a door opening for him. He's being accepted into a college. Who wouldn't be happy? But the fact that he's going to be so far away is what really upsets me.
I shook my head and turned away from him to laugh. Reflecting back on all the things he promised that we would do this summer. All those promises are now gone.
No trip.
No dates.
No sex.
No nothing.
Just us being on call while he's miles away. While he's across the other side of the United states. And what do I look like having phone sex? So I can get sperm all over my phone?
Fuck no.
"So let me get this straight ... you waited this long to tell me ? Why would you tell me on the day before you leave? What sense does that even make?" I asked him.
"Look, I applied for some colleges at the beginning of march, right? After a month I didn't hear back. So I gave up and stopped checking my emails because let's be real ... with a record like mine there could be no way that my ass will get into a college. But yesterday my mother came running in my room telling me about the email and I was shocked. My first thought was you obviously because I don't want to be away from you"
"Well, you are, so does it even matter what you say? You're going there and nothing I say is going to make you change your mind" I said, as he exhaled a sigh.
"Of course, it matters. Your opinion matters to me. So If you don't want me to go, then I won't" He said, as I started to laugh.
"And how dumb would I be for saying that? I want you to have a good future for yourself because you have a promising future, I know it. I'm just pissed that you're going to be so far away. But I don't want you to risk this opportunity just because of us. You need to go there and get your fucking education" I said.
"Thank you, Jamir. You know I love you and I don't want to leave you" He said while grabbing my hand.
"I know, but ... it's a lot to take in. Like you're leaving tomorrow ... you're leaving so soon" I whined.
"Actually I'm leaving tonight" He said, as I immediately jerked my hand back from his.
"Oh you just a dumb ass— Where are you even going to be staying?" I asked him while trying to hold my tears back.
"I have some family in New york that's going to let me stay with them until I get my own apartment" He smiled.
"Okay ... Just take me home" I shook my head then leaned my head on the window. I couldn't even bare to look at him anymore.
"I understand that you're mad—"
"Latrell please shut the fuck up" I interrupted him, as he busted out laughing.
"Okay, i'm not taking you home, Jamir. I'm going to spend the day with you until I catch my plane, alright?" He said.
"When does your plane come?" I asked while sitting my head back up.
"At 8:30" He replied.
"Okay, and it's 1:00. So where do you wanna go?" I asked him as he smiled.
"Just relax and let me make this day special for you" He said as I did exactly what he said.
I leaned back in the seat taking a deep breath. If this is going to be the last time I see my boyfriend in a while, then I need to make this day as happy as possible.
•🦋•
Latrell had tied my eyes to a blindfold so I wouldn't be able to see where he was taking me. My first thought on where he was taking me was obviously a trap house. My second was out to eat. But by stepping in the grass and hearing the sound of laughter, I guessed that we were somewhere outside.
"Okay, you can open them in 3 ... 2 ... 1" He said as I quickly removed the blind fold from my eyes.
I looked around and we were at the park with a picnic set with all of my friends being there. Looking at what was on the blanket was some pizza boxes, strawberries, juices, and some other snacks.
"Oh wow" I said as Nevaeh, Mariah, and Jamal walked up to me.
"Your nigga wanted me to give you this" Mariah said while handing me a stuff animal.
"Thank you so much bae. I really appreciate you setting all this stuff up for me" I cried with tears of joy.
"Sorry to ruin y'all moment, but he ain't set up shit. He paid us 20 each if we can do this whole thing" Mariah said, as she counted the money that Latrell was now handing them.
"I was scared to set it up. The bees would've been bothering me" Latrell whined.
"How do you gang bang, but afraid of bees?" Nevaeh asked him as he titled his head.
"Actually, i'm a former gangbanger. Come correct when you address me, boo" Latrell said in a sassy manner, as we laughed.
"Anywho, we'll leave you two alone. We're going to go play on the swings" Jamal said.
"But there's kids on it?" I pointed out as he shrugged his shoulders.
"Okay? We got arms that know how to push them off" He replied as they walked over towards the swings to throw the little kids off.
"I'm glad you like it. I was thinking about the movies, but we go there every week, so I wanted to just do something different" Latrell said.
"No, this is fine. I love it" I smiled while sitting on the blanket.
"You don't seem fine" He said as he sat down next to me.
"I'm still kind of upset that you're leaving. That's all" I sighed.
"I can always not go," He said.
"If you reject that offer I swear I will dig up my father and get him to beat your ass" I shouted.
"Oh wow—"
"But i'm going to miss you ... like really" I said while resting my head on his shoulder.
"I'm going to miss you so fucking much, Jamir. I really hope you don't break down crying in the airport when I leave" He laughed.
"I'm not going to cry. I'll just wait till I get home to do all of that" I said while rolling my eyes at him.
"On a real note, Jah, you made my life so much easier and happier than I thought it'll be. The moment I laid my eyes on you I instantly fell in love. Of course, I was still a dick back then, so I never really got to show you how I really am until a few months ago. We've truly helped each other grow into new and better people. And for that I thank you" He said, while leaning in for a kiss. "So, i'm going to tell you something I have never told someone before— since I trust you"
"I'm listening" I said, as he exhaled a deep breath.
"When I was around 16 I used to cut myself. My home life was so bad and I was failing in school a lot. I also didn't have the money for new clothes, so I did what almost any other dumb-ass teenager would do. Joined a gang and got some money. So, when you cut yourself that day, Jamir ... if drove me back to the things I used to do to myself. And I was scared that you would've ended up down the same path I took " He explained as I could tell he was fighting his tears back.
"First, I'm glad you trust me with this. And second, I am so sorry you had to go through that. I also do apologize for having you relive those memories the night of my episode ..." I said while holding his hand.
"It's alright, it's in the past and most of the scars healed. But it feels good to get everything off of my chest" He smiled.
I didn't say anything else about the situation. I only comforted him so he could know that I'm here for him. One thing I learned in therapy and that i'm going to carry with me for the rest of my life is that sometimes you just need to listen and be there. Talking is nice and all, but your presence will always speak volume.
•🦋•
The rest of the time we spent together went by pretty fast. Before I had dropped him off at the airport, we took a ride around the city for one last time. Pointing out all the things we've done together.
The time we first met.
The time I gave him head
and my father caught us.
Our first kiss.
The incident at KD.
Our first time having
sex.
All the good and the bad times were somehow special memories that we forever hold.
While walking into the airport, I helped him drag some of his suitcases since he wouldn't have to carry a lot.
"Well, this is it, alright?" He said with an awkward smile as I nodded my head.
"Yeah, this is it ... for now at least" I smiled while scratching the back of my head.
"We're going to call as soon as you get home, okay?" He reminded me.
"I promise you we will. But have a safe plane ride, I love you" I said as he pulled me in for a hug.
"I love you too, Jamir" His words echoed in my head as he began to break down crying.
I never seen Latrell cry before. I was actually surprised he was the first one to break down and not me. After all the shit he was talking about me going to break down crying in the airport, he's the one doing it.
I smiled at him then wiped the tears off of his face for him.
"I don't want to go, Jamir" He cried. "I don't want to be away from you. I love you too much for that"
His words broke my heart. It really hurt to see that this whole time Latrell was the one being strong throughout this whole situation when it should have been me. Watching him break down, I realized that it was HIM that was going away for college. He was the one who is opening a new chapter of his life. Not me. And now, I need to be strong for him.
"I love you too, Latrell. More than you will ever know. But you have to go on the plane. You have to go find yourself. Go to college and meet some friends. Join a club, or even a sport. BUT PLEASE don't start rapping. I beg you" I said, as we both laughed. "Explore who you are without me having to be there to tell you what your next step will be. You need to take time to see who Latrell is outside of the relationship you have with me. I'll be waiting for you, I swear"
"And I'll wait for you too. Even if something happens to me, just know that i'll be waiting. No matter what happens, you are the love of my life and I wouldn't want no one else. So please just promise me that we'll facetime everyday" He said while wiping his tears as I held out my pinky.
"I promise" I said as we made a pinky promise.
•🦋•
I finally arrived home with tears covering all over my face. I couldn't believe that this was going to be my life for the next couple of months and the last time I see him until God knows when.
I know that I have to be strong for our relationship, but damn. I never wanted to be this strong. How can I even put up with this? What if he finds someone cuter or better than me while he's at college? What if he cheats on me and I wouldn't know about it because he's living so far away from me?
Apart of me wanted to sneak in his suitcase and come to New York with him, but I have to remember the advice I gave him.
He's in college now. And college is all about finding yourself and who you want to be in the future. Me not being there with him is going to help him figure out who he is besides the relationship he has with me.
While dragging my feet up the stairs walking into my bedroom, I flipped down on the bed and sighed. "I miss my man" I yelled out hoping the whole world could hear me.
I dug in my pocket to pull my phone out, and jumped up to put it on the charger since it was on 5 percent. As I was about to go to my call log to call Latrell, I heard my closet door creaking open like someone was inside.
"The fuck?" I turned around and my eyes widened. My heart felt like it had just stopped. Seeing someone I thought I would've never seen in a million years.
To see his face again.
To see him smirking at me.
To see Daijon Harris in the
same room as me right now.
How. The. Fuck. Is. He. Alive!?!
𝚃𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚎𝚍 ...
𝙴𝚡𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛/𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜
I am so sorry for the huge
delay within these last few
chapters. I actually wrote
this chapter last week and
everything got deleted.
That's why this chapter
seems so rushed.
But yes, I hope you all are
ready for the next chapter. It
should be coming out sometime
this week so be on the look out.
Also, have y'all heard Nicki new song?
Anyways Ni Hao?
Who the fuck told bitches
they was me now? 😩😩??
I love you
&
I hope you enjoyed!