SANTIAGO'S POV
"Delgado, rise and shine." Callahan, the CO on night duty yells banging on my cell.
He knows I am already awake but he always makes sure that waking me is a whole dramatic moment.
I sit up from my bed, after saying my morning prayers and tuck my cross back into my green uniform. I step out of my cell and join my fellow inmates as we file out of the cells in a single line. The rest of the prison is dead silent, as it should be since it three am in the morning. I can hear a few inmates talk in their sleep as we pass their cells and I know they are not having good dreams. Prison is hell on earth so having good dreams while incarcerated is impossible.
"Time to get to work boys, don't burn anything down. I'll be watching you." Callahan demands as he turns the lights on in the kitchen and ushers us in.
I have been working in the prison's kitchen for the past one year and it's by far the best job I've ever had while incarcerated. Sure, the hours are long since I have to be awake from three and work till noon but it pays the best and keeps me occupied for half my day. While behind bars one has few options to keep their mental stability and working is one of them. It gives me purpose, something worth looking forward to each day before I go crazy.
Cooking has also aways had a special place in my heart. Before my mom passed away when I was ten, my fondest memories with her were those where we spent hours in the kitchen cooking and baking. Whenever I am cooking, I am always reminded of her and the joy she brought into my life and that gives me hope for a future when I am done serving my sentence.
I pick up my white apron, check the ingredients required to be prepped for breakfast and get to work. Breakfast is at 4.30 am thus why we have to wake up so early.
"Chop chop boys, we have six hundred mouths to feed." Ronald demands.
Ronald, the head chef, if he can even be called that is an inmate as well, in for two counts of murder serving life without parole. He was a chef on the outside, at some fancy restaurant so he took up the job as a cook when he landed behind bars. He is a cocky son of a bitch but he is good at what he does given the limited resources.
We don't interact much outside the kitchen but that's how I like things. We are in prison and not on a vacation. Rules are to keep your head down, mouth shut and try to live out your sentence. I've been in the slammer for the past three years and I've got two more to go. It's been the longest three years of my life but my life before I was sentenced was not all sunshine and rainbows anyway. I also have my own people on the inside and we look out for each other so it makes life in prison a little easier when I know someone has my back.
Time passes quickly as I work with my fellow inmates to make breakfast for the whole prison. It's nothing fancy, cereal, slices of bread, skimmed milk, jelly, margarine, sugar packets and a banana is all. Ronald fought really hard to get the quality of food improved and comparing the menu now and what it was two years ago shows he has done a good job. Don't get me wrong, the food we eat here is nothing fancy but its edible and well-cooked unlike before.
My first year in prison was rough, we had to eat terrible food and suffer brutality from the CO's. Things have calmed down now that we have a new warden as of a few weeks ago but prison is still prison. We have fights daily and riots at least once a week but nothing major. Being behind high security fences makes us inmates go stir crazy and at times we need to let some steam out. If we were perfect human beings we would be on the outside with our family and friends, not behind walls like animals in a cage.
"Delgado, you are on serving duty today." Ronald yells getting my attention.
I nod, clean my hands and get in line with the other three assigned to serve. I get the bread. The breakfast announcement booms over the speakers and three minutes later we have inmates queuing up to get their first meal of the day.
"Come on Delgado, just one more." Julius, an inmate requests.
"You get two just like everyone else." I retort.
Julius stands there giving me his pleading eyes as if they will work on me. Puppy eyes don't faze me and his attempt is just pathetic. Working in the kitchen requires one to have a spine. I get a lot of hate for my servings but I don't give a shit. I do not make the rules, I just follow them.
"Please, I'm hungry." Julius pleads.
"So is everyone else, now move on, you are holding up the line." I grit out my patience wearing thin.
The only reason I am familiar with Julius is because he pulls the stunt of demanding more food every single meal. The kid will get himself into trouble with other inmates soon if he is not careful. He's only been in a couple of months for hacking into the pentagon. He's a nerdy kid with huge glasses, short spiky hair, a terrible attitude and a knack for always being on the wrong side of things.
The inmate behind him shoves him forward and he is lucky he doesn't fall otherwise he would have lost all his breakfast which would have been terrible as there are no second servings.
"Don't know why you are being such a dick, you always gave Deshawn extra before he went ahead and got himself offed." Julius mumbles under his breath but I manage to hear him.
He is so lucky there is a barrier between us otherwise I would have smashed his face in. How dare he mention Deshawn's name? To everyone else he was Deshawn but only I knew that was a fake name. His real name was Darius and he was my cellmate and closest friend. His death is still raw and a painful to recall so hearing Julius disrespect him puts me in a foul mood. How dare he? I will make sure to make him pay for it later during lunch.
After we are done serving breakfast, we get to sit down and eat as well, same food but with a little extra portion that Julius was so desperate for.
I eat fast, to avoid chitchat with the rest of the inmates and begin on cleaning duty. Ronald always demands a clean kitchen and I like being on his good side so I work quietly and diligently to get my work done. We are making meatloaf, mashed potatoes and vegetables for lunch so as soon as I am done with the dirty dishes, I began working on peeling the potatoes.
"No lunch for Julius today." I command when eleven am rolls around meaning it's time for lunch.
"Any particular reason you want to starve one of my inmates?" Ronald asks.
"We have been too soft on that kid, I think it's time we teach him a lesson on cafeteria etiquette." I respond.
Ronald nods and walks away without another word. It pays to be the sous chef even though that rank doesn't mean much in prison.
I make sure I am at the beginning of the lunch line so I can get to Julius first. When he joins the line, I completely ignore him and serve the inmate behind him instead.
"Dude, that's not fair, I got here first. I need my meatloaf." Julius demands.
"No meatloaf for you." I reply squaring my shoulders.
I don't like getting into fights but Julius is inkling for a good beating and I will give him one with pleasure.
"It's right there." He argues pointing at the food I am serving.
"I don't see anything, now move." I grit out.
The inmate behind him gets impatient and shoves him forward. Julius scowls and curses me under his breath but he moves up on the line nonetheless. He thinks his beef is just with me but he is surprised to see that nobody else serves him.
"Ronald none of these dipshits will serve me." Julius yells when he gets to the end of the line with and empty tray.
"I cook the food, I don't serve it." Ronald replies.
His reply makes Julius angry so he storms towards me as if he is ready to start throwing punches. The kid is barely a hundred pounds, he does not threaten me. I don't move waiting for him to strike first to justify for when I beat him to a pulp. Before he can get to me, the warden and a couple of CO's walk in stopping him in his tracks.
"What's going on here?" McKinley, the warden asked staring Julius down.
McKinley is a mean son of a bitch but he is a fair warden. He is 6'5 of pure solid muscle and never afraid to take matters into his own hands instead of relying on the CO's to keep the inmates in check. He is so much better than the previous warden who was running the prison to the ground by running illegal activities behind prison walls.
"Nothing sir." Julius replies nervously.
Julius is a dumb kid when it comes to learning how to survive in prison but he is not stupid. Involving the warden and CO's in inmate matters was a line even he wouldn't cross. Unless he wanted to get beat up in the showers or get a shiv to his guts, he will keep his mouth shut.
"Then stop holding the line and move on." McKinley demands.
Julius tosses me one last dirty glance before storming out of the cafeteria in a huff. I smirk knowing that I have won this round. By the time I am done with Julius he will be a well-adjusted young man ready to survive in prison. He is just a stupid kid, who needs some guidance not a hardened criminal like most of the guys in here.
"Get back to work." McKinley demands and the lines proceeds forward.
He shoots me a look I fail to understand before walking across the cafeteria and out of sight. McKinley and I only ever interacted once, after Darius died and an investigation was launched but I was cleared of all charges. It's not like I had anything to do with Darius' death anyway. We were very close and I was the one giving him protection.
It's ironic that we were best of friends on the inside with him depending on me to keep him safe while he had been my arresting officer. Darius is the one who caught me and put me behind bars. But I did not hold him against it. I knew what I was getting myself into joining a gang so I had known that sooner or later that I would have to serve jail time. Now I am just looking forwards to serving my time in peace so I can leave and try to start my life afresh.
After I am done serving, my shift is done so I eat my lunch and proceed to the yard for my run and work out. Exercising is another thing I picked up on while on the inside. It helps me get fit and bulkier because it does not hurt to have muscles. Working out is also good for my mental health and while incarcerated that is very vital. It's good to have a good head on my shoulders while dealing with so many people, some of who are in for very bad things.
The sun feels good on my skin, so I run until my lungs hurt and my feet beg for rest. I like pushing myself to the edge to see what I am truly capable of enduring.
"Delgado." Moreno, the current leader of the La Lobo gang in FCI Phoenix and my leader calls out to me.
I am done with my run and on the way back inside to grab a shower. Moreno is a tough son of a bitch, covered in tattoos from head to toe and practically runs the whole prison. I am so lucky to be on his team otherwise I would be dead meat.
"Jefe." I reply bowing my head in respect and submission.
"Man, I asked you to stop doing that, we are brothers." He comments with a roll of his eyes.
There is a hierarchy in prison and I like staying alive so I always follow it and if that means bowing to Moreno then that is what I do no matter how many times he assures me it's okay. I stay quiet not really in the mood for conversation. I want him say what he wants so I can leave and go on about my day.
"I hear you had an issue with that new kid Julius, do we need to take care of him?" Moreno asks.
Moreno taking care of someone meant death and while Julius pissed me off to kingdom come, he did not deserve to die. He just needs a couple of lessons on how to behave in prison.
"No, he's good. I can handle him." I reply.
Moreno gives me a scrutinizing gaze as if trying to determine whether he can trust my words or not. When he finds what he is looking for, he nods and slaps me on my shoulder.
"Okay, I will trust you but do let me know if you need any help. You know I have your back." Moreno insists..
"I will jefe." I assure him.
He gives me another unimpressed look at the use of that title.
He steps out of my way and lets me walk away. I head directly for the showers and I am glad to discover that they are empty just how I like them. I take my time showering and scrubbing all the grease and sweat off my body. By the time I make it back to my cell I am beat so I plug in my EarPods and let myself be soothed to sleep by some classical music. What can I say, I am an old soul.
I am woken sometime later by a CO banging on the cell doors announcing for mail call. I keep my eyes closed since I never receive any mail and keep sleeping.
"Delgado, mail." CO Lipp calls out banging on my cell door.
I sit up from my bed and pull my ear pods off my ears.
"Mail?" I ask confused.
I never receive any mail.
"Yes, now hurry up. I have more rounds." He demands getting impatient with me.
I begrudgingly get up from my bed and walk towards him. He hands me the envelope and once I confirm its my name on it, he opens it to check its contents. He sees its nothing but a letter inside so he hands it back to me and moves up on the block.
I walk back into the cell and take a seat on the empty desk staring at the name on the letter in bewilderment. Hannah Claire Johnson is the name of the sender.
I can't believe she wrote back. When I wrote a letter to Hannah after Darius died, it was to express my condolences because I know how close they were. I debated with myself for over a week before I sent the letter. Holding her response in my hand feels surreal. I carefully unfold the letter and smile at her big bold handwriting. It fits her personality perfectly, big, bold and beautiful just like Darius described her to be. I am almost afraid to read her response but my curiosity wins eventually.
Dear Santiago,
Hello stranger. To say that your letter was a surprise will be an understatement. And yes, calling me dear is okay, it makes me sound old but I like it so you are safe, your teacher taught you well. First of let me start by complimenting your handwriting, its so neat and tidy, only proof that you didn't type it is that you wrote it in pencil. My handwriting looks like that of a child but it's because I had eye problems as a kid so I taught myself to write in big letters. Though I feel as if you already know that seeing as Darius told you everything about me. I could have typed mine out but it felt cathartic hand writing it instead.
I cannot believe my brother told you that story about me. I feel embarrassed that you know all these things about me yet I know nothing about you. You could be a creep for all I know but Darius was very overprotective of me so for him to tell you that about me shows that he trusted you. Please feel free to tell me about yourself so I can at least know something about you in return.
Thank you so much for writing to me. From your letter I know that you knew my brother was an undercover Federal agent. I was not able to talk to him while he was in there to avoid blowing his cover so I have a huge gap from the moment we said goodbye five months ago to the day I received the news of his death.
I miss my brother so much, I still can't believe he is gone that's why I am writing back to you, so you can fill in that gap for me.
Darius is all I had so if you can please tell me about his life in prison and what really happened that day I will appreciate it. All they told me was that he was stabbed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time but I know there is more to it. Darius was an exceptional agent so I know there is something more that they won't tell me but you can. You were his cellmate, you know how much Darius means to me so please help me heal and move on by telling me what really happened. It will mean a lot to me.
I hope I'm not asking for a lot but I really am curious about my brothers' final moments so please reply. Besides that, I want to thank you for your first letter, you will never know how much that means to me. I hope to hear from you soon.
PS.
What does the C in your name stand for?
Yours truly,
Hannah Claire Johnson.
After reading the letter I reread it again for more times smiling at the beginning but feeling how real and raw her pain was at the end. I knew Darius and Hannah were close. He was the only parent Hannah ever knew after their real parents disowned them. My original letter was intended to be a one time thing but I can feel the pain in Hannah's words. She deserves better and if I can offer her the closure she deserves then I will write back to her and tell her all she needs to know.
My gaze wanders to a photo of Hannah I have pinned on the wall. It feels wrong to have it because she has no idea but I could not get myself to give it up when the warden came to pack up Darius things. She is wearing blue scrubs smiling at the camera while drinking coffee. I know the photo is a couple of years old but she looks breathtaking in it. I might have a tiny crush on Darius's sister but that's all there is to it. Any blind man can see how gorgeous she is, its hard not to catch feelings for her. I also have another photo with her and Darius but the solo one is my favorite.
I am forced to step away from my desk when the announcement for the 4pm count time blasts through the speakers. I quicky stash the letter away in one of the books on my table and step out of the cell. After count time its dinner so we all make our way to the mess hall where I spend as little time as possible. Evening hours are usually spent taking classes, watching television or playing games but I make my way back to my cell. A very gorgeous nurse somewhere is awaiting my response.
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Hi guys, sorry it took me a while to update this. I realized that I did not do enough research before I started writing this book which is bad. Sure, it's fiction but I like having facts when it comes to some things. I am Kenyan so I have no idea about the USA prison system or the Kenyan one at that so I had to take a couple of days to study up. It's not perfect but its good enough for me for now, like I said, it's all fiction.
Writer's block is a bitch as well so I am also struggling with that but I am fighting it. I need to keep writing as much as you guys want updates.
I am also struggling with Santiago's POV since not much goes on in prison so I am not sure if his POV will be equal parts with Hannah's or spread out apart. I am still thinking on that. Anyway, thank you for giving this book a chance, I appreciate you all.