Jora
" Let me drive you to the airport," I sat criss-crossed on my bed as I watched him put his shoes on. " I don't have classes today," I threw in.
I didn't want him to leave. I hated not being able to see him whenever I wanted. What I hated most about the distance, was trying to move forward and fix our last mistakes.
I fought back a frown as he turned towards me, dimples showing as he walked over. He stopped down to my level, staring me in the eyes as his large hands gripped my kneecaps and leaned forward. " Don't want to let me go yet?"
I nodded my head. " I don't."
Kyler chuckled. My eyes flutter shut as his lips meet the top of my brow bone. I sigh heavily, knowing that this was our new normal— at least until I graduated college. This sucked balls.
" Come on before I miss my flight," Kyler whispers, squeezing my inner thigh. Even as his palms left my skin, I still felt the tingles as an aftereffect. His touch was electric and coursed throughout my body long after it was gone.
I smiled and got out of bed. I entered my closet and threw on some sweats over my pajama sweats and grabbed a hoodie. When I walked out, Kyler was grabbing his bag off of the floor.
I grabbed my keys off of my bed and slipped into my ugg slippers. " Do we have enough time to get breakfast?" I asked, hopping for an extra hour with him. I'd even settle for thirty extra minutes.
Yesterday was such a good day.
Our date reminded me of why I let him back into my life. I always saw parts of him that no one else saw. I saw him at his most vulnerable. Never did her stutter unless it was around me. He wasn't putting on an act. He was being himself.
A part of me would be lying if I said that I didn't know what Kyler was like when I first laid eyes on him. The first word that came to mind was trouble.
And I was right.
Three years earlier,
" You are fuckin' crazy," she laughs as I pull at my scalp.
"Jora, how many times do you accuse me of cheating? How many times do you turn up looking stupid?"
"It's embarrassing for you and for me. I honestly don't know how much longer I can be with you if you continue to pick arguments every time we speak." She always did this. She always made me out to be the problem.
" I call you to see how your week has been and the first thing you do is accuse me of cheating. What type of shit is that? Are you the one cheating?"
My head was spinning from the tears, the accusations, and the conversation in general.
I'm crazy. I'm stupid. I always pick the arguments.
I'm crazy yet I have physical evidence of her cheating on me. I have the fucking evidence of her dragging me to filth with everyone around her. Yet she turns around and tells me how much she loves me.
I feel so stupid.
So so so stupid.
It never clicked to me that every time she got mad at me or accused me of cheating on her, she was doing it behind my back.
I was so stupid.
The long time periods of not speaking to me. Her picking fights almost every time we spoke. She was doing the exact same thing that she accused me of.
" I am not crazy, Ximena," I snapped, pointing my finger at the laptop screen as I spoke. "Your own best fucking friend sent me evidence of you messaging other girls, you dogging me out to her and your other side chicks, and freaking videos of you with other girls because she felt bad for me. You are a fucking cheater and you can't even own up to it."
That was the slap in the face that I needed to finally end this. There was no love in this relationship. Not anymore.
And if there was an ounce of it left, it was clearly one sided.
" You are seriously going to sit here and continue to lie to my fucking face and call me fucking crazy? We are done! We are so done, Ximena. Fuck you, you worthless piece of shit bitch!"I screamed as my dorm room door flew open and entered Rhegan, my roommate.
She was holding a drink holder with Starbucks in one hand and a bag in her other hand. Her smile immediately dropped as she noticed my tear stained face. Her eyes bounced from my face to my laptop, and back.
Rhegan opened her mouth and I knew that she was going to spit an insult out that Ximena wouldn't like. " What did that cheating skank do now? Spread her herpes around the entire Oregon campus, I bet."
" Bit-" I turned towards the laptop and shut it.
Rhegan dropped her bag and drink holder
on her desk before sitting down next to me on the double twin bed. I placed my face in my palms as the tears ran freely down my face.
" Oh JoJo," Rhegan sighed as she rubbed circles
on my back, letting me cry. " She doesn't deserve you and she damn well doesn't deserve the satisfaction of seeing you cry either."
The amount of tears and time that I've wasted on her. The amount of years that we've been on and off because of her treatment towards me. The only difference between then and now was the distance between us.
I didn't want a long distance relationship. I knew that we wouldn't make it long distance when we could barely make it when we were in the same city. But she wanted this.
She begged for this only to treat me like shit and embarrass me over and over again.
I hated myself for allowing this behavior for
so long.
I hated myself for it.
I hated the way she made me feel. I hated how I always turned to alcohol because of how she made me feel.
She made me feel like I was crazy, like I was the one in the wrong. She made me feel as if every argument we'd gotten into was my fault.
I was always crazy for thinking that she was cheating. I was always wrong for wanting to break up, to take time apart.
But then she'd call back apologizing and telling me that she was just scared to lose me, that she didn't like that I was so far away from her. She'd tell me how sad she'd feel without me and how badly she missed me.
How badly that she needed me.
How much she loved me.
She didn't love me.
You don't cheat, gaslight, and manipulate the person that you love. You don't make the person you love feel insecure and second guess every move they make.
You don't do that to the person you love.
And if that was love then I didn't want it.
I didn't deserve it.
" You know what," Rhegan hopped up from the bed and crouched in front of me, forcing my hands away from my face. " We're going out tonight. "
I sniffled, using the back of my hand to wipe my nose with. " Do I look like i'm in the party mood Rhegan?" I chuckled sadly as the door opened yet again but this time our friend Ayanna walked in.
And much like Rhegan's, her smile dropped as well. "What's wrong Jojo?" She asked, approaching the bed and taking the spot next to me.
" I'm just so tired of fighting for a relationship only to get burned over and over and over again. I'm tired of getting accused of cheating when I've been nothing but faithful. I'm tired of getting emotionally abused by her. I'm just tired of it all."
I laid my head on Rhegan's shoulder as I sniffled.
" End it." Ayanna simply said. " Just end it."
" I know that we aren't that close but I do know that you don't deserve to be treated like that. You shouldn't have to be treated like this by the person who claims to love you. Trust me, I know how you feel. The best thing for you to do is end it before it gets worse."
Ayanna was in the same boat as me except her boyfriend went to college at out rival school. They weren't nearly as toxic as me and Ximena as far as I know. We had only just met a few weeks ago and from what I knew, they were in an on again, off again tumultuous shit show .
They were off right now and I hoped that they stayed off. He was such a piece of shit and I haven't even met him yet. He doesn't deserve her kind heart.
Ayanna thinks that I don't like her.
She doesn't have to say it but I could tell by the way she acts around me. I don't mean to be standoffish but sometimes it's hard for me to let people in.
I let one person in and they tear me to shreds little by little everyday until I feel like I am nothing.
Until I feel like i'm not worthy of love or affection.
But I am worthy of love and affection.
I am worthy of someone to treat me right, to spoil me. I am worthy of someone who would do anything for me because they love me so much. I am worthy of someone who would get on their knees for me. Someone who would worship and appreciate all of me.
I am worthy.
Sucking up the tears I nodded." Let's go to a fucking party."
________________
" Get off of your phone." Rhegan snatched the device out of my hand as I went back and forth with Ximena.
I broke up with her and she couldn't handle it. I've received mass text messages with every name and insult in the book so far.
She was ruining my night.
I hadn't so much as touched a drink since arriving due to my attention being elsewhere. I came to this party to enjoy myself but she somehow managed to ruin my mood even when we were thousands of miles apart from each other.
We weren't even together anymore yet she felt the need to dictate my every move.
I can't come out to a party as a single woman because you are insecure about yourself?
Baby, that sounds like a personal problem to me.
I can't come out to a party as a single woman because you're afraid that I'm going to move on?
That too sounds like a personal problem to me.
I was free and I was going to do whatever the fuck I wanted...
Or whoever I wanted.
Just as I went to say something to Rhegan, one of the veteran players announced the game of dirty jenga. Sliding off of the bar top that I sat perched on, I swiped my hand over my butt to make sure that my dress was still down.
Following behind Rhegan, I winced as I stole my phone back from her low raise pants and powered it back on.
I had vaguely been paying attention, drifting back and forth until Elizabeth was picked for a dare... kissing Abel Creed.
Lifting my phone I recorded and posted on my story captioning it "baby's first night out."
No less than a second later my phone was being blown up again. This time I ignored it, trying to enjoy my night.
And it was looking pretty interesting.
I had been feeling eyes on me for a while now. I knew what direction it was coming from and I knew who it was. Turning my head, I looked in his direction and gave him a slow once over.
He was h o t.
Hot.
I wanted to look a little longer but the crowds cheering interrupted that. Turning my head I saw a basketball player doing a strip tease, ignoring everyone and looking as if he wanted to eat Ayanna whole.
Okay white boy...
My phone buzzed in my hand as my ex continued to spam text me. I opened my phone and headed to contacts, found her number and blocked her.
Good riddance.
" Ky-Ky!" The team captain called out." Pull your block lover boy!"
I turned my head just in time to see him turn his.
This time I studied him more. He was tall, about 6'4, 6'5 maybe. His hair was freshly cut and faded, slight freckles, some facial hair, hooded chocolate eyes, and a sharp jawline.
Trouble.
He pulled a block and read it, a smirk on his lips.
Must be a good dare.
" Ouuu! What does it say Ky-Ky?" Micheal, I think that's his name, asked as Kyler's eyes flicked towards me, watching me watch him.
"Seven minutes in heaven," he read without breaking eye contact. " With the person of your choice."
" Who are you picking?"
He didn't waste even a millisecond before pointing towards me.
He wants to play with me?
I arched a brow as he turned his finger, muscles
flexing from the action as he curled his fingers.
All eyes were on me, waiting for my next move. I had only ever been with one guy and one guy only. During a small break with Ximena I had a small fling with one of my father's business partners son.
He was fun... But I knew just by looking at him,
that "Ky-Ky" would be one hell of a ride.
I pulled off my jacket and handed it to Sade as I stood up and thanked her. He held out his palm as I approached him. I placed my hand in his and allowed him to walk me into the pantry.
I was a single woman. I could do whatever the fuck I wanted.
And tonight... tonight I wanted to do him.
Even if he smelt like trouble from a mile away.
_____________
" Alright, trouble," I kill the engine as we pull up in front of the private plane. I turned towards him, smiling soberly.
" Don't give me that face," he whispers hoarsely.
I try to hold back the sadness in my tone. " What face?"
" The ' maybe if I give him a sad face and out a little, he'll reconsider staying' face."
I grin, " is it working?"
Kyler winces and shakes his head. " A little. But I have to get my ass on that plane or else I'm getting benched for missing practice."
I frowned, but I knew that he was right. I couldn't be selfish and throw a title tantrum even if I wanted to. This wasn't college anymore, this was his career. He couldn't play hooky, not that he ever would when it came to basketball.
He reached out and brushed his thumb over my cheek before leaning over the console and kissing my lips. I sighed into the kiss before he pulled away, pecking my lips one last time.
" I'll be back soon," he promises.
I nodded, inhaling deeply. " Be good."
For me— I wanted to add.
Kyler looked at me like he knew, he knew how important those two words were for our future. " I will," he places a soft kiss on my lips one last time.
" I'll call you when I land," he says.
And then he's gone.
I watch him get on the plane. I watch him turn around, waving goodbye to me one last time. And I watch the plane take off on the runway.
And then he's gone.
" I'm back," I called out to my roommates as I tossed my keys into the little petri dish that we used as a key bowl.
" In here!" Elizabeth yelled from the kitchen.
I walked into the kitchen, finding them at the big island in the middle of our kitchen, all sitting with a coffee mug in front of them. When I walked to an empty spot in front of the island, Lizzie slid me my mug with the navy blue letter J on the front. I thanked her and took a sip, humming at the taste of the french vanilla creamer on my tongue.
" The weekend is here!" Skylar cheers. " We should go out tonight."
Sade looked puzzled. " It's only Thursday.
" And?" Skylar shrugged off Sade's observation. " None of us have classes for the rest of the week. The weekend starts now and I say that we go out and get shitfaced."
I did deserve a drink or two after the week that I had.
My professors were on one. I had done an essay already and two of them decided to assign readings and questions to follow up. Usually it would be no problem. Yet, the chapters were twenty pages long each... it was barely week two and they were already starting with the bullshit.
But this was USC here, I should expect nothing less.
That, and dealing with an obsessive ex still running her mouth on every social media outlet there was. I hadn't responded to her since the twitter mayhem, however, if I ever catch that bitch in public, it's over for her.
She can have fun typing on twitter with a black eye and head concussion.
Fuck that bitch.
Clearly, I did not have the best of luck when it came to who I happened to fall in love with. But there was a difference between the two.
Kyler, he broke my heart.
Ximena, she shattered it. Not only my heart, but my confidence. After her, I was a wreck. I felt that if someone who was supposed to love me as hard as they said they did didn't want me, then no one would. Not only did she lie but she spoke so vile about me, the person who she was supposed to love. The person that she begged to have another chance with.
I truly did love Ximena. Clearly, I loved her more than she loved me and that love wasn't strong enough for the both of us.
In some way, I was grateful though.
Without experiencing that heartbreak, I wouldn't have healed and become the person that I am today. And sure, I may be repeating history by giving Kyler another chance, deep in my heart of hearts, that if we are meant to be together, then we will be.
Yesterday proved that to me. Now he's gone and I already miss him. That quickly can be rectified with a night out with the girls and a bottle of tequila.
" I am down!" I placed my coffee mug on the table.
" Great! Jora's down to get slutty and shit-faced tonight. Who else?" Skylar semi-celebrated her minor win in gaining one of us over.
" I could use a few drinks," Ayanna shrugs, smiling as she sips on her coffee.
She must've had phone sex with Carson last night.
" I do have to study," Elizabeth sighed, placing her chin into her palm as we stared at her with blank gazes. If she doesn't be fucking for real right now. The bitch was practically Albert Einstein and had photographic memory on top of that.
" So Lizzie's in," Skylar placed her hand on her hip, completely moving past Lizzie's dramatics and bullshit excuse. Her sss was coming out if we had to drag her by the roots of her pretty blonde head.
" As long as you pay for my IV bag," Rhegan says. I nod my head in agreement. We hadn't gone hard enough to need an IV bag since coming home from our spring break trip last year.
That was one hell of a break. I had never been more hungover, and hungover for a week straight at that.
" Alright," Sade grabs her coffee mug from off of the table and pushes back her stool. " Since it's settled that we are going out tonight, I'm hitting the gym. Who wants to come?"
I usually didn't like going to the gym while bloated and bleeding out of my vagina, however, this month's period was super light. Next month's period would be hell.
" I call shotgun," I talked over my roommates and grabbed my coffee. My friends shouted their rebuttals as I shuffled out the kitchen and headed upstairs to change.
___________________
Later that night I stood in front of my full length mirror and checked my outfit. A white deep cut halter top paired with low waisted jeans, and my Rene Caovilla heels. I chose a silver chunky necklace at the statement piece.
I took the rollers out of my hair and finished off my makeup by swiping on a dusty rose liquid lipstick and spritzing on perfume for finishing touches.
When I joined the girls downstairs, I figured that I was the last one... clearly.
The girls simply gave me that look that they always gave me. The " bitch, how are you always the last one ready?" questionable stare. Hey, it took time to look this fucking good.
I can't be pulling both genders looking like a fashion distaster — No ma'am, that won't fucking do. Besides my dazzling personality, my fashion sense was one of my best attributes.
And my tits. Can't leave them out.
" What? I'm here aren't I?" I rolled my eyes as I took a step off of the last stair and headed towards the door.
" This bitch is lucky that she's hot."
The girls finally quit their whining and got off their asses, following me to the door of our apartment. We took a lot of stops and grabbed Audrey before heading downstairs to the awaiting driver. The club that we chose for tonight was downtown. There was always so much traffic. heading down there during the day, but at night, it was smooth sailing.
" Since we didn't get to pregame thanks to someone taking their sweet ass time," Sade threw shade my way, and a side eye as she pulled out a bottle. " I brought the calvary."
Sade pops open the bottle and passes it around. " And don't think that I forgot about you, Audrey-kins," she smiles as she pulls out a cherry coke can.
" Drink to your heart's content, cherry princess."
When the driver pulled to a stop, we had already finished nearly half of the bootle. The alcohol burn was still coursingbirs way down my esophagus and into the depths of my stomach. I was good and tipsy and ready to sweat it off on the dance floor.
And then drink some more of course.
When we entered the club, Pon de Replay was playing, a Rihanna classic. As we moved through the crowd, I couldn't help but move my hips to the music as we followed Rhegan to the nearest closed off private area.
Two buff security guards stood in front, guarding the space like their life depended on it. " Is this pace brought for the night?" Rhegan yelled over the music.
" No," one of the security answered, his voice deep
Rhegan pulls out cash from her purse. " Now it is," she stuffs that cash into their pockets and unhooks the velvet rope. " Excuse us."
The girls and I scurried past the two guards who suddenly forgot how to do their job when they smelt money. I hooked the velvet rope behind me as they walked off, counting the bribe money that Rhegan had given them.
When we sat down, there was already chilled bottoms of champagne sitting in a bucket. I grabbed the bottle, popped it open, and poured the fizzling alcoholic bevaded down my throat. One by one, we all took a sip— sans Audrey. When the bottle was done, we decided on heading towards the bar for another round of drinks.
Pushing through the crowd of sweaty people, we finally made it to the bar. I ordered my usual espresso martini and followed it up with a vodka soda. As I stood there waiting for the girls to revive their drinks, I felt a sudden wetness on my back.
" What the fuck!" I gasped, hopping that whatever liquid was thrown on me was water and not an alcoholic drink that would stain my shirt.
When I spun around on my heels, I immediately wanted to cause hell in this fucking club. Standing in front of me was my she-devil ex and her girlfriend that could very well pass off as my younger sister.
" Fuck her up, JoJo!"
I plan on it.
The flashback on Jora's POV of that night and the reasoning behind the bang era revealeddd!!!
How are we feeling about this chapter?!??
I love you guysss!!!
RIHANNA ATE!!! PREGNANT AND ALL!!!