Today was the day that Evie needed to face one of her fear foods. She'd been trying so hard and the only thing yet to be tackled was bread. Leah had made her a piece of toast with avocado spread on top and it was sat waiting when Evie came down.
She sat at the table trying to push down the fear that was surging in her stomach. It was only a piece of food. She would do this.
That was easier said than done as she sat staring at it for a little bit. Panic and words of people who'd made her so uncomfortable with her body rushed around her head.
Leah was sat next to her. She didn't speak about the toast. She didn't want to make it a big deal.
Silent tears began to flow down Evie's face and Leah held her hand. She was also sat scrolling through her phone to make it seem less tense. It was a way of showing that she was there if needed but it also wasn't a big deal.
With a trembling hand, Evie picked up the food and took a bite. One bite became two and even though she was weeping at this point, she wasn't going to give up.
There was only a little bit left when she set it down, unable to carry on. Leah's hand was still grasped firmly in hers.
"I'm so proud of you kiddo," she said as she pulled the little girl into a hug.
Despite the look on her face, Evie was very proud of herself. She'd managed to do it. Her eating wouldn't destroy her.
***
Training had not been going well since they'd returned from the break. Nothing was crisp and Jonas' usually relaxed mood had become quite angry as he was fed up with how wrong it was going.
Today was match day against Birmingham, an easy 3 points most people thought. Three points that got further away from them as they conceded in the second minute.
It had completely been their fault and Jonas was fuming.
"SWITCH ON!" he screamed.
They didn't switch on and three minutes before half time they conceded another one. It had been coming and it was clear that Arsenal weren't feeling it. The half time team talk was one that the girls would've preferred to forget.
As the second half went on, they still struggled. Their plays weren't crisp and they were allowing Birmingham to walk all over them.
It was frustrating but ten minutes from the end, Evie hassled a Birmingham midfielder and won the ball. She set off and looked around for options. No one.
She carried on running, two defenders and the goalie to beat. Using a few twists and turns, she beat the defenders and now only the keeper stood in her way.
Pretending to shoot one way, she cut back before smashing the ball into the net. It felt good to get a goal but it wouldn't mean anything if they couldn't get another one.
Evie ran and took the ball out the net before running it to the middle so they could reset quickly.
It wasn't enough and they lost match. It was frustrating and when Evie went to speak to Freya she was in a bad mood.
"You played well," Freya tried to tell her.
"No I didn't. I got a goal but it wasn't enough," Evie moaned. Freya pulled her into a hug and some of the tension was released.
It was annoying but there were lots of games to go. Arsenal could still win the league.
"Do you want to meet up tomorrow?" Freya asked.
"Love to."
***
Evie knew she was now cutting it very fine. She'd spent an amazing morning with Freya and now she needed to get to training.
Running as fast as she could, she arrived at the training ground and ran out to the pitches. All the other girls were there but Evie reckoned she was only a minute late.
"3 laps off you go," Jonas said, not even looking at her.
"But-," Evie tried to argue. It was 2:01 and training started at 2. The girls were still putting on their boots so it wasn't like she'd missed anything.
"But nothing. And if you want to argue you can do five laps instead," Jonas said. It was clear that he was pissed off about the Birmingham game. Evie didn't blame him but he didn't need to take it out on her.
Feeling incredibly hard done by, she began to run before becoming aware of footsteps behind her. Not just one set but about twenty.
Her teammates rallied around her, all of them doing the laps with her.
"What are you doing?" Evie asked them. It was her punishment no one else's.
"We told him it wasn't fair," Jen explained.
"And he said that if we thought that then we could feel free to join you," Kim carried on.
"So here we are," Lia finished. Evie smiled at them. This is what it was like to be a team.
Five laps later and they all practically collapsed on Jonas' feet. He'd obviously come to his senses that he was being a bit harsh.
"Ok guys I'm sorry. Making you run laps doesn't affect the way you played."
***
Evie had scored twice in the previous two games. One in the final minute to draw with City and the other to win 3-1 against Brighton.
After the Birmingham game, she was on perfect form. She scored for fun and it was clear that every time she played, she was enjoying it.
It was Freya's birthday and Evie had offered to take her out for dinner. Evie had a lot more money than most 16-year-olds. She was making nowhere near what she would be if she was a man but she was still making a very good amount.
She met Freya outside the station. Evie was in a pair of cargos and a tight-fitting top, Freya in a short blue dress.
They chatted away and almost missed their stop they were so busy laughing.
Once they made it to the centre of London, they walked to a pizza restaurant. Evie's eating had improved massively and she was very proud of herself. It had taken a lot of speaking with the counsellor at Arsenal and a lot of support from Leah but she was getting there.
After ordering their food, they spoke and laughed about everything they could think of. It felt right. There was a proper connection and neither of them could draw their eyes off the other.
"It's always been something to do and I'm going to work hard to get there. I need to complete college and then I'm going to go to uni," Freya said, explaining what she wanted to be when she was older. Evie smiled at how determined and passionate she was.
"What about you? I know obviously you have your football career but what about after that?"
"Well I'm not really sure. I always wanted to be a footballer but I didn't think it was realistic. Afterwards I definitely want to set up something that lets kids with no money join a football team. I mean I didn't play for a club until Southampton signed me," Evie answered.
After they'd eaten, they giddily walked back to the tube station. They weren't drunk or anything, they were just so happy that they didn't function fully.
They were sat on a tube platform, gripping onto each other and laughing loudly. A middle-aged man glared at them from a little way a way.
"Stupid lesbians," he said before walking away. Evie began walking after him but Freya grabbed her wrist.
"Leave it babe," she said before kissing her on the lips. All the anger drained from her as fireworks exploded inside. She kissed back and the pair only broke apart as the sound of their train approaching rung along the platform.
***
"Good date?" Leah laughed as Evie practically bounced round the kitchen, humming a song to herself.
"Yep," she said, popping the p happily.
After a light teasing from Leah, Evie went and gathered her stuff for their game.
"Leah, do you have any idea where my jumper is?" she shouted down the stairs, unable to find it.
"On the radiator like I told you, you donut," Leah called back, laughing at the chaos of her young house mate.
They arrived at the ground and were greeted by fans and members of the press. After stopping for photos, they made it inside and got changed.
Beth was managing to wind everyone up and if Evie heard one more thing about how sweet young love was, she was going to lose it.
"Beth in the nicest possible way, piss off," she groaned.
"Ooo kiddo's got attitude," Katie laughed.
After warmups, they set up for the match. Viv passed it to Evie and as Russo pressed her, she feinted one way before suddenly going to other.
Russo desperately tried to catch up but Evie was off. She passed to Kim before continuing her run up the pitch.
Viv now had the ball and she sent it to Beth. Using a step over, Beth got round the defender and crossed it in. Evie made a run, losing her player, and headed it goal wards.
Mary Earps was between the sticks and she made a spectacular diving save to send it round the post.
It was frustrating to not get a goal but a chance in the first minute wasn't bad at all.
After Arsenal's initial chances, Man United won a corner and frustratingly Russo headed it home.
It was annoying. Really annoying. Arsenal were determined to get one back and they battled hard. Evie was making chances and running all over to win the ball back but it wasn't being rewarded.
Five minutes from half time, Evie sent the perfect through ball past the United defence. Viv ran onto it and smashed it with all the power she could. Mary Earps managed to get her hand to it and tip it onto the bar.
The next minute they all worked together to give Viv a shot on goal. They used a little passes, tapping it first time past the United team. The shot flew wide but it had been a good move.
Both teams were playing decently well and it was end to end.
Jonas' team talk was pretty positive despite the score line.
Fifteen minutes into the second half and Katie did a bad challenge on Alessia Russo. She lay on the floor and it was unsurprising when a yellow card was shown her way.
The Man United free kick was defended and Leah sent a long ball out onto Evie's wing. She ran to get it, a cheeky smile plastered on her face. She knew she would get there first.
Ona Battle was shutting her down and she quickly tapped the ball to Kim. Kim unleashed a powerful shot that was punched away by Earps. She seemed relieved to have saved it but it was short lived as it landed it at Evie's feet.
Evie smashed it into the net, happy to bring the team back level.
"KIDDO!" Kim screamed as she celebrated with the young scorer.
Not even two minutes later and a cock up from the Arsenal defence allowed Ella Toone to poke it round Manu and into the net.
Shit. They'd just managed to get level and now they were trailing again.
As if things couldn't get any worse, Katie did a terrible tackle on Battle, sending her flying in the air and crumpling on the floor. Katie stayed down and Evie could tell she was doing it so the ref wasn't as harsh.
It didn't work and the second yellow came out before the red followed. Caitlin and Evie tried desperately to protest but the referee wasn't having any of it.
"Fucking rubbish referee," Katie said before finally storming off the pitch.
"Do you to want to follow her? If not, I suggest you stop arguing and get on with the game," the ref said to the pair who tried to argue for their friend.
It wasn't worth fighting and they got back to the match.
Evie somehow found herself defending deeply. She managed to get the ball back and send it for Stina to run onto.
It was a perfectly weighted ball, just flying between the defence. Stina dribbled a little way before smashing round Mary Earps and into the back of the net.
She ran back to celebrate with the assister and they hugged tightly. A goal and an assist, not too shabby.
Both teams spent the last minutes of the match trying to get the winner but they were unsuccessful.
When the final whistle went, the players all shook hands with each other.
"You're class, you," Ella Toone said to Evie.
"Thanks. You're really good as well," Evie replied, pleased to be getting compliments from the opposition.
"We'd be a dead good duo. You're the one who scored like eleven goals in two games, right?"
"I didn't score that many," Evie laughed.
"Well you scored or assisted. That's mad," Ella said.
Now fully complimented up, Evie went to go and see Mrs Cooper. She'd managed to come down for the game and Evie was so pleased to see her.
"Coops!" she cheered excitedly.
"Heya darling! You were amazing," Mrs Cooper told her.
"Thanks! Shame we didn't get the win though," Evie said, a little upset that they didn't have all three points.
"You were still incredible."
"Do you fancy going for a coffee or something to catch up?" Evie asked.
"Sounds lovely."
"I'll go have a shower and then I'll meet you round the player's entrance."
When Evie got inside the changing room, she noticed Katie sat, absolutely fuming.
"Ref was a bit harsh," she said as she began taking off her shin pads.
"How come I always get carded but no one gets carded for tackling me?" Katie asked, her eyes fixating on a space of wall in front of her.
Evie didn't know how to answer so instead she reached over and grabbed Katie's hand.
"Refs are shit," she said simply, making Katie laugh and cheering her up.
***
Mrs Cooper was stood waiting outside when Evie emerged. She said goodbye to Leah and went bounding over.
They walked to Mrs Cooper's car, already beginning their catch up.
"Where to?" Miss asked when they were in.
"I know a nice place. I can direct you," Evie said, knowing where she wanted to go.
They arrived and sat waiting for someone to collect their drinks.
"Hello," Freya said, absolutely beaming when she saw her girlfriend.
"Hello," Evie replied just as cheerfully. She took their order and disappeared off behind the counter.
"So? Girlfriend? Crush?" Mrs Cooper asked, figuring it out instantly.
"Girlfriend. We've been dating a little while," Evie answered, her eyes lighting up.
"She's treating you right?"
"Yes," Evie said firmly, not wanting the conversation to go the direction it seemed to be heading.
"I only ever dated you for a joke. I'm not really a fucking fag," Sienna spat as the crowd around them began jeering. Evie lunged for her and began punching her repeatedly. She was broken. She thought she'd finally found someone who understood her.
"Evie! Evie! Get off her!" Mr Williams shouted as he and Mrs Cooper ran over.
They desperately tried to pull the girls apart, finally succeeding after a whole lot more fighting.
Mrs Cooper pulled Evie away, inside and out of the view of others.
"What on earth was that all about?"
"I thought she really liked me," Evie said, her voice cracking and hot tears beginning to stream down her face.
"Oh darling," Coops said as she pulled the broken girl into her arms. She physically shook as she stayed in the embrace; too upset to do anything else.
They drank and caught up about Christmas, football and teacher gossip. Mrs Cooper technically wasn't meant to tell Evie what she did but no one else would ever find out.
"So he just up and left her?"
"Yeah. She's obviously broken and looking for a new job and he's still swanning around the place like the god he thinks he is."
"Bastard," Evie said simply.
It got later and Mrs Cooper had to start heading back so they paid for their drinks and left.
"Always know how proud of you I am, yeah darling?" she said as they hugged goodbye.
"I know," Evie responded, grateful of the way Mrs Cooper always looked after her.
***