Hades has decided that there is a special place in hell reserved specifically for the owner of 'Oopsie Daisy!'.
1. For starters, Karyn made sure not to tell anyone that her name has a 'y' in it and then proceeds to get mad at people for spelling it wrong. They are supposed to know that she is not your typical 'Karen', she's Karyn with a 'y'... and she's much worse.
2. Even though she ticks every requirement box for being a basic middle aged white woman (bobbed blonde hair, severe addiction to wine and a tendency to complain about the "young people these days"), she still tries to insist that she is the best thing since sliced bread.
3. She bears an uncanny resemblance to a psychotic nanny that his uncle married who tried to kill the Addams family and, worst of all, sent him to a summer camp.
4. She has an unjustified hatred for Persephone... Enough said on that matter (Hades believes there's an even worse place in hell for anyone who doesn't like Persephone).
The list could go on and on. Hades hated her from the second he and Persephone stepped through the door to a high pitched tinkiling of a bell. Classical music blasts from her stereo as she serenades an orchid to Prokofiev's 'Dance of the Knights' from Romeo and Juliet.
"Ah, that time of year again." Karyn greets with a sickly sweet smile. She straightens up from her hunched position to turn her attention to the teenagers. She notices the towering figure of Hades lingering behind Persephone. "And you've brought a friend with you. How dreadful."
"Horrible to see you again, Karyn." Persephone sends an equally fake smile back. "This is Hades Addams."
"Lovely. I don't care. The flowers are over there. Get busy and don't bother me." She orders, shooing them away. Hades could've appreciated her bluntness if she wasn't so patronising. Persephone gives her a mock salute as she leads Hades over to a work station laden with a mountain of flowers. Persephone was very familiar with the tasks Karyn expects her to complete.
"She's a delightful bundle of joy." Hades mutters under his breath, pulling a green apron over his head with the shop's name written on the front. After tying his apron quickly, he turns Persephone around to help her tie hers.
"I reckon Wednesday would absolutely destroy her." Persephone whispers back, making Hades nod in agreement.
"Hey, Karyn. Any chance we could get some music with actual words?" Hades calls out, ignoring Persephone's warning eyes and shaking head. Karyn freezes at the words.
"Classical music helps the plants to grow, boy." She snaps harshly, cradling a nearby tulip as if it might be offended by Hades' words.
Hades leans down to whisper in Persephone's ear, "This woman is batshit crazy." His comment has the desired effect of making Persephone burst into laughter and making Karyn highly suspicious of the pair. Under Karyn's narrowed gaze, Persephone begins to show Hades how to prepare the flowers for making bouquets and arrangements. They find that Hades is very good at trimming the stems, which should've been expected with his talent with a knife.
"Maybe giving you a sharp object wasn't such a good idea." Persephone wonders aloud as she watches Hades menacingly cut a flower stem while sending a fierce glare to the shop owner.
"I could totally make it look like an accident." He reassures her as Persephone shakes her head in disbelief.
"Not in front of the flowers." She scolds. "Plants have feelings too." She takes the flower that Hades has prepared for her and places it with the other flowers in a vase. She doesn't have the heart to cut the flowers herself. It would go against everything she believes in. Luckily, Hades was more than happy to do it for her.
"What's this one called?" Hades asks, holding up the next flower.
"That one's a peony." She tells him, admiring the light pink petals. "It generally symbolises prosperity, good luck, love and honour."
Hades eyebrows scrunch. "How did people decide what the plants would mean?" Persephone just shrugs.
"Ancient myths and legends, I guess." She explains. "Flowers have a whole other language. Victorians used to communicate with them. I think it's cute." She adores how couples can use flowers to express how they feel. She thinks it can be a very meaningful way to show someone how much they mean to you, especially when thought is put into it.
Hades hesitates for a moment before presenting Persephone with the flower and saying, "A peony for your thoughts." Persephone laughs loudly, making Hades smile at her happiness. She never would've expected Hades Addams to use a flower pun.
"That was terrible." She tries to suppress her laughter.
"Yeah... but it got you to laugh so I'll take that as a win." He sends her a charming smile which makes her duck her head bashfully. "What's this one?"
"A carnation." She replies, taking it out of his hand. "Different colours tend to have different meanings. A white carnation symbolises things like innocence and pure love." Hades hangs onto every word she says. He loves watching her talk about the stuff she's passionate about, just to see her eyes light up and her beautiful smile on her lips. "You got a joke for this one?"
Hades stops to think. "Give me a minute. I'll think of one." His face screws up in concentration, making Persephone giggle. It's hard to believe that this adorable man has been accused of attempted murder.
"Oh, I've got one!" She cheers excitedly, making Hades groan. "What in carnation." She looks so pleased with herself that he can't help but laugh at her beaming face.
"I think that one's worse than mine." He jokes, making her slap his chest in retaliation. "Okay, sorry. Mine was worse."
"That's what I thought." She tells him smugly, sliding the carnation into the vase. "You're slacking, Mister! Keep up!"
He smirks at her. "Yes, ma'am." Returning to his work, he picks up the next flower. A rose. Red as ripe pomegranate seeds. It reminds him of the day he met Persephone. Taking extra care, he removes the sharp thorns before cutting the stem. "What does a rose mean?"
"Roses tend to be symbols of love and passion." She looks into Hades' eyes as she says, "Red roses mean 'I love you'... A single red rose is love at first sight or a 'one and only love'. Giving someone a single rose symbolises the giving of your heart." A brief moment passes between the two before Hades holds out the rose for Persephone to take. Their fingers brush as she accepts the flower, leaving metaphorical sparks in their wake. Utterly intoxicated by each other, neither could look away.
Hades had always been heartless. A devil from hell. But she had looked his demons in the eye and smiled. She fell for the very thing he thought she'd fear. And here he was, giving his heart to an angel... and the angel welcomes it openly.
A devil in love is the most hauntingly beautiful thing ever. For he will go to the depths of hell for her. And she would destroy armies for him. Hell and Heaven sighs as two soulmates are reunited and everything is right with the world...
For all of 30 seconds.
"You're not getting paid to dawdle." Karyn's shrill voice screeches, like nails on a chalkboard. The pair groan as they are interrupted from their moment.
"We're not getting paid at all." Hades hisses bitterly. What he would give to relieve the woman from the burden of her head.
"That's not my problem." She retorts, hands propped on her hips as she glares at the two outcasts.
"Why is she such a bitch?" Persephone grumbles rhetorically, not expecting Karyn to hear her.
"Young ladies, such as yourself, should not curse." She chastises, fixing her glare on Persephone.
Persephone, sick and tired of dealing with this woman, scoffs, "Get fucked." Hades' head snaps to her in shock, before his face morphs into a smirk and a chuckle escapes his lips. Karyn blinks in horror. No one had ever dared to speak to her like that. Spurred on by Hades' laughter, Persephone smirks and shrugs at the woman before saying in a sickly sweet voice, "Oopsie daisy."
"That's my girl." He praises before noticing the murderous look on the old hag's face. Glancing up at the clock on the wall, Hades realises that it was nearly one o'clock. Thank satan for that. "It looks like it's time for us to go, Cara Mía."
"I was thinking the same, Mon Cher." Persephone smiles up at him lovingly as Karyn's face turns red with anger. Hurriedly, the pair rip off their aprons and abandon them on the workbench with the scattered flower petals. They immediately reach for each other's hands as they run from the shop, the sweet melody of Karyn's wailing anger following them into the street. They speed away, uncontrollable laughter flowing between them. Turning around to face Karyn while continuing their escape, they flip their middle fingers up at her as they sprint round the corner. Jericho residents gawk at the two, but they can only seem to focus on each other. Hades crashes into a man carrying some boxes to a van and goes tumbling to the ground.
"Oh shit!" Hades shouts, scrambling to his feet to catch up to a chortling Persephone.
"Sorry sir!" She yells out carelessly as Hades reconnects their hands and pulls her away, even more laughter spilling out. The whole town brightens as the girl smiles, her happiness making the sun shine brighter and the flowers grow taller.
Even as they slow down, their laughter does not cease. Persephone manages to calm down enough to breathe out, "Thank you, Mon Cher." He smiles down at her, overjoyed to see her delight and enjoyment. "Today has been the best Outreach Day I've ever had."
Tenderly fixing her unkempt hair to sit neatly on her head, he looks upon her adoringly. "I'd give you the world if you asked for it, Cara Mía."
featuring;
Joan Cusack
as
Karyn
The 'Karen With A Y'