WHY NOW?
Janella's POV
"PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE ME." I whispered to myself. "Please, don't leave me." I whispered to myself copying my old self in my memory, after i heard a crashing sound from the call. I have no idea of what's happening. I keep on calling Jane but i can't hear her. I can't even hear her breathe.
Is she ghosting me again?
What is that sound?
My hands are getting cold.
The call suddenly ended.
I lost connection.
But when the signal goes back, i called her again to make sure that she's okay.
She's not answering.
Maybe i should just wait for her here. I'm sure she's fine.
Maybe she just lost her signal too.
Calm down, Jea. Jane is okay. Jane will be fine and will always be.
After two hours of waiting for her here infront of the exit of gate 3, Jane finally called me.
"Babi! I'm so worried about you! Where are you? It's been two hours--"
"Ma'am Janella?" An unknown woman called my name.
Who is this woman?
"That's me. Who are you?" I asked. "I'm a nurse po in ***** hospital. Jane is currently undergoing to a surgery right as we speak. You're the person i called first 'cause you're the recent call--"
"I'm on my way." I got frozen at first, but i ended the call right away after what she said.
Oh god, please don't die. Please fight. Please be safe.
I called a taxi and told the taxi driver to go to the said hospital, fastly.
Not so long after, i have arrived to the said hospital.
"Where is Jane De Leon?" I asked the nurse. "She's still in the OR ma'am." The nurse didn't questioned my name. She probably knows me.
"Please tell me if there's an update with her. I'll just go, sit and wait for the update there." I pointed the seat where i am planning to seat.
The nurse nodded.
Not so long after, tita and tito came. Along with... Zoe, Kim and Joshua?
Ahh, i nearly forgot. It's New Year's Eve.
They saw me right away so i stood up. Tita hugged me while she's crying.
"Anong update na raw kay Jane? Where is she?" Tito asked. "She's still in the OR tito, i haven't recieved any update." Tito Arthur walked towards the nurse.
To ask the nurse i bet.
I saw how worried Kim, Joshua and Zoe are.
I told them that we should sat and wait for the update.
"Why are you so calm, Janella?! Jane is dy--" She stood up while saying that, but i cutted her words off.
"Jane is not dying! She's a fighter! Don't say that!" I said angrily.
She's frowning at me with a teary look in her eyes.
"Hindi makaka-tulong kung mag-aaway kayong mag-pinsan." Joshua said, with a sad voice.
Now is the only time that i heard Joshua spoke with an unhappy voice.
Normally, he's full of joy.
Zoe sat again.
"Mr. and Mrs. De Leon?" The doctor came and called Jane's parents.
Oh no...
What happened?
Jane, please.
"Glad to know that you both are already here. Ayoko nang magpatumpik-tumpik pa, Jane is okay." Now, i can breathe properly.
We all cried in happiness.
"We need to be thankful dahil hindi naapektuhan 'yung puso nya. Normally kasi, nagp-panic ang ibang patient na may heart attack or anything that can cause heart attack after the car crash."
"However..." Oh.
"She may be in a coma. A brain hemorrhage was found because of the accident."
"Brain hemorrhage? Ano 'yun doc?"
"A brain hemorrhage means her brain is bleeding. We expect for her to wake up in 2-4 weeks, But we also expect for her to have a difficulty of speaking or understand the words that we are saying."
"She may also change or loss her vision, severe headache or seizures. She may lost her sense of hearing because of the accident, but we are hoping that it will not come to that situation."
"Pwede na ba namin syang makita, Doc?" The doctor said yes, but after that,
The doctor said his goodbyes 'cause he needs to check his other patients.
Tita Evelyn cried into Tito Arthur's chest, by hugging him.
I sat again then put my both hands into my face, to cover it.
This is my fault.
This is definitely my fault.
They all goes to the room where Jane is in, but i didn't.
I didn't followed them.
I want them to have a private talk to Jane, even though she's in coma now.
I want her parents to have a moment with her first, and her friends. Our friends, before me.
Surprisingly, after 20 minutes of sitting there alone, Zoe came and walk towards me.
"This is all your fault!" I already know that, but i'll let her say that 'cause it really is my fault.
"If you hadn't told her to fetch you into the airport!"
"You have a fucking money, right?! You're rich! Bakit hindi ka nalang nag-book ng kotse?! You idiot bitch!" I just won't answer and fight her back.
I deserve this.
I deserve her anger.
"Janella naman! Bakit hindi nalang ikaw 'yung naaksidente?! Bakit si Jane pa?!" How i wish i can switch position with Jane.
"If Jane dies, i will fucking kill you."
That was the last word that i heard coming from her mouth, tonight.
After half an hour of waiting and crying while sitting outside the room, Joshua came walking towards me and said, "Ano Janella, ayos ka lang?" He's the first person that asked me this tonight.
After what happened.
I cried again infront of him, then he hugged me.
"Iiyak mo lang 'yan, alam kong mas makakapag-pagaan ng loob mo 'yan kung ilalabas mo lahat ng nararamdaman mo ngayon." He said while patting my back, gently.
"Alam nating lahat na strong person si Jane. Hindi sya magpapa-talo at walang mangyayaring masama sakanya more than this nang dahil lang sa accident."
"I know that you're blaming yourself because of what happened, pero no one expected this. Huwag mong sisihin sarili mo, Janella ha?" I kept on crying.
I needed this hug.
He held both of my shoulders and made me look at him.
"Now, you need to talk to Jane privately. I'll tell her parents and also Zoe and Kim to give you both some privacy." I wiped my tears, then we both stood up.
When he opened the door, we saw that Jane's parents are crying, and also Zoe.
Kim is sitting on a couch there while looking... Sad? I can't really read her emotion right now.
But i'm sure that she's also unhappy for what had happen to Jane, even though Jane and her are not that close.
"Tito, tita, Zoe and Kim." I can feel that he's signing them to give me and Jane some privacy for a minute.
All of them understood, but i can feel Zoe's glare at me while she's walking towards me and the door.
They closed the door as soon as they are all outside.
I cried again and then walked towards Jane who's lying in the hospital bed.
I remember how i cried when she was hospitalized because of me.
The night we found out that she has a heart problem.
I sat in the chair that was beside the bed.
I held her hand.
"Jane, i'm sorry for doing this to you. I know this is my fault. I shouldn't have said that i'm already outside the airport."
"Please don't leave me so soon."
"Please fight for your life. I don't want you to leave me again." I brought out the box of the engagement ring.
"Before i ask you something even though you won't be able to answer it right now, i have a confession to make."
"This is the most important thing that i'm telling you about. This is why i returned to US, just to get this."
"Remember this? This is the engagement ring that i brought, 5 years ago." I said, while i'm inserting the engagement ring to her finger.
"Just throw this if your answer is no."
"I threw this 5 years ago, but thankfully, i found it again. I told myself that i won't let go of this until i moved on. But, surprise! It's been five years but i'm still madly, deeply inlove with you, Jane Florence De Leon."
I'm still crying while talking to her. I can't help it.
I feel like something heavy is inside my heart.
"I love you, Jane. I always do. So please, don't leave me forever, alright?" I kissed her hand.
I can't even look at her without being hurt in her state right now.
I feel like i really did this to her.
I feel like i don't really deserve to be loved by someone like her.
Maybe that's why she left me the last time?
God, why am i even thinking of that?
I also need to be strong for her. I don't need those negative thoughts that is running through my head right now.
"You know what, there's no time that i didn't thought of you. Even after we separated. I threw my old simcard, blocked you on all of my social media accounts, and when there is a news that is connected with you, i'm skipping it."
"I did all of that for five freaking years, but i still couldn't unlove you."
"You're too hard to love but you're also too hard to forget and to unlove."
"Now, tell me, what choice do i have left? What is the best decision for this? For the situation?"
'i forgot that you couldn't answer me. But still, i know you can hear me."
While i'm in the middle of the conversation with Jane, tita and tito opened the door to enter the room.
"Janella, here's the chief of police. Tatanungin ka lang nya about sa last conversation nyo ni Jane. Panonoorin na rin natin 'yung cctv, gladly, malapit na sya sa airport nun kaya may cctv na sa labas." Janella's momma said.
The chief handed me the phone, who has the record of the cctv.
The three of us watched how another car crashed the car of Jane.
"Oh god..." Her mother said, reacting to the video.
Tita then hugged tito Arthur.
After that, the chief of police took his phone from us.
So i started telling him what happened.
"It was just a normal conversation, and then after that, she sounds like she's saying her goodbyes, then after that, i heard a loud crashing noise." I cried once again.
"I kept on calling her name, i kept asking her if everywhing was alright, i waited for an answer. But there's no response. I waited for two hours in the airport, wishing for her to come there safely. But then i received a phone call... From one of the nurse here."
Tito Artur pat me on my back gently.
"Well, ang statement naman nung sa emergency hotline is, may tumawag raw sakanya about nga sa banggaan. It sounded like a woman, crying. Tapos she ended the call nung sinabi na papunta na 'yung ambulance."
A woman? Who could possibly that be?
"Thank you for your statement, Ma'am Janella. This will also help us para mapa-bilis ang pagha-hanap sa criminal." The chief of police left, after thanking me, while me...
I'm still crying.
I know that Jane doesn't want me to be like this, but i really can't help it.
I really feel like this is all my fault.
In the video, we really can't see who's the person behind it.
The car drove away after hitting Jane's car.
It also looks like the driver's fine.
She even called the emergency hotline, right after the accident.
I wonder who that woman is?
Anyways, i left the room to have some fresh air outside the hospital.
I need to breathe.
I need to tell myself that it will all gonna be alright.
I closed my eyes.
"Janella." A familiar voice called me.
I opened my eyes.
I turned my head to see who it was...
It's Zoe.
I turned my head again up to the sky.
The stars are bright and shiny and beautiful.
Also the moon.
"If you're here to yell at me, can you please postponed it? You can do it later. I just want some peace right now." I said, while looking at the sky.
"Actually, no. I'm not going to do that. I'm actually here to apologize, personally." I looked at Zoe in shocked.
I didn't expect that she's going to apologize to me, for what i've caused.
"Yes, you heard me right. I'm apologizing."
"I'm not hearing any."
"Teka lang, nagmamadali ka ba?" I saw her rolling her eyes on me.
I chuckled.
"I'm sorry for what i said earlier. I don't mean that. So please, forgive me?" I raised an eyebrow as a joke and then chuckled again.
"Ofcourse, i know you don't mean that. And besides, you're right. It's on me. It's my faul--"
"It's not your fault, Janella. This is no one's fault. I'm sorry for blaming you earlier." I hugged her 'cause she also have a teary eyes.
Also, i have that too. I just don't want her to see me like that now. She'll just tease me and say that i'm such a drama queen.
I really thought the death threat will be the last word that i'll hear from her tonight.
"Wow! Bati na ang dalawa!" Kim suddenly appeared with Joshua.
"Well, thanks to the both of you, we finally are." Zoe said.
"What do you mean?" I asked. "Joshua talked to me earlier. Turns out, narinig nya 'yung sinabi ko sa'yo kanina. Na-guilty rin ako after i said that." I nodded and mouthed 'thank you' to Joshua.
Joshua nodded happily.
"Do you guys want to buy foods for the New Year's Eve?" Oh shoot, i forgot again.
"This isn't the time to celebrate--" Kim cutted off Zoe's words.
"Oh c'mon you guys! Hindi naman porket Jane is in coma, eh magluluksa tayo ngayong New Year's Eve. We need to celebrate it not only because tonight is the New Year's Eve, we also need to celebrate it because Jane is still alive!" Well, she clearly have a point.
"Agree ako kay Kim." Joshua said. "Infairness ah, may tinatago ka palang talino?" Joshua added, jokingly.
The three of us laughed but Kim laughed at the joke sarcastically.
"Haha, you think you're funny?" She then rolled her eyes to him.
"Tama na 'yan, baka mag-away pa kayo. Happy-happy lang dapat tayo dito!" Zoe said. She's also right.
"Did you both already let tito and tita know about this?" The both of them shook their head.
"Huh? What if they both get mad?" I asked again.
"C'mon Janella, it's a surprise dinner. Kanina kasi andaming prinepare ni tita Evelyn sa bahay nila. Pero ayun, this happened." Zoe shushed Kim.
"It-tape ko 'yang bibig mo." Zoe said. But i don't really know if Zoe's joking about this.
Earlier, i was full of sadness. But right now, i'm kind of happy 'cause i guess they're trying to cheer me up.
"Ay, you should go ahead guys. I forgot my purse in Jane's hospital room." I said. "Bilisan mo ah? 'Dun lang kami o-order ng chicken and other foods na makakain for buena noche." Joshua said, so i nodded.
When i got there, i opened the door and saw tita Evelyn sleeping on the couch, but tito Arthur... She's talking to Jane. Crying.
"Anak, i can't hold my tears any longer. Ngayon nalang ako iiyak dahil tulog na ang mama mo at nasa labas ang friends and girlfriend mo." Girlfriend. Wow. How i wish i'm really her girlfriend.
I was about to close the door but i heard tito Arthur spoke again.
"Tinanong mo ako kung anong wish ko sa birthday ko, right?"
"I answered na kapag sa emergency or kailangan na kailangan na talaga, 'dun ko nalang sasabihin wish ko."
"Ito na 'yun. This is the sign to use my wish."
"I wish for your fast recovery anak. Papa doesn't want to lose his unica iha." I closed the door slowly, so that i wouldn't be able to ruin their moment.
I quickly followed Zoe, Kim and Joshua in the fast food chain.
I didn't said anything about what i saw and heard in the hospital room.
Because, why would i? It's their privacy.
--
"HAPPY NEW YEAR PO!" Joshua and Kim shouted after i opened the door. It woke tita up. "Ay sorry po, natutulog na po pala kayo." Joshua said, apologizing. "Ayos lang iho. Happy new year rin." Tita showed us her forced smile and so is tito. "Alam po naming this is the tough thing and the most saddest thing to start the new year, kaya we did this para ma-lessen po 'yung pain na nararamdaman nyo." Zoe said while smiling at them softly.
I really like how she deliver her words towards to Jane's parents right now.
It's comforting and sweet.
"We appreciate it and thank you all for the effort." Tita said.
"Oh tita! 'Wag umiyak! This is supposed to be a celebration for New Year!" It's always Joshua who lighten up the mood and the presence.
"Kain na po!" Kim said.
While we're eating, we also talk to Jane so that she won't feel like an outsider.
"Tignan mo Jane, gising ka na dyan! May chicken oh!" Joshua said while chewing the fried chicken so hard, as if she can lure someone whose in coma.
"Ay, random question lang. What if kilitiin ko paa ni Jane, gigising kaya sya?" Joshua said, jokingly. I'm glad 'cause tita and tito let out a chuckle after Joshua's joke, instead of being offended.
But i'm glad Joshua knows how random his question is.
"What if isampal ko 'tong buto sa'yo, makaka-tulog ka kaya?" Zoe said, giving the same energy that Joshua's giving.
We all laughed at them both. They're both so childish and playful.
But we all know that they're only doing this to lighten up the mood and to have enough of the drama and sadness.
We took pictures too, so that we have a New Year's Eve celebration pictures to show to Jane once she wakes up.
If only Jane can hear and see how happy we are right now.
Can you even hear us babi?
I miss you so much babi.
I miss your laugh, your voice, everything about you.
Please wake up soon.
You're so brave.
You're so strong.
You're a fighter.
This is why i adore you so much.
This is why i fell inlove with you.
Keep on fighting for your life babi.
I can't wait to talk to you again.
I can't wait to take you somewhere nice and romantic again.
We'll do that all once you wake up.
I promise.
--