Title credit: Everything Will Be Alright- The Killers
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"No Sebastian, I'm not changing the lyrics again.... No I don't care if you like your version better, we're sticking with the original!" I say to my brother over the phone. We've been arguing for the last few hours about the lyrics to a new song we're working on.
"Sebastian, I sing and write the lyrics, you play guitar, and Emerson plays drums. If i need help with the lyrics, I'll ask. But for right now-" I'm cut off by another person calling.
"Someone's calling, I have to go. If I need help, I'll ask. Goodbye." I say as I hang up and check to see who else is calling. I see the name 'Batman' pop up on the screen, letting me know that it's my boyfriend Andy, so I answer immediately.
"Hey baby, what's up?" I ask as I answer. I don't hear anything for a minute so I figure he called on accident. I'm about to hang up when I hear his voice through the phone.
"R-remi?" He says, sounding as if he's crying. My heart breaks and I start getting ready to leave so I can go to him.
"Andy, are you okay? What's wrong, sweetheart?" I ask, panicking slightly as I rush to get my keys and put my shoes on.
As I'm getting ready, I remember my weighted hoodie that I got to help me sleep. I always find it comforting, so maybe Andy will too. I grab it out of my dresser and rush to the door to leave.
"Rem...h-help." Andy whispers, breathing fast and heavily.
"I'm on my way sweetie, okay? Are you at home, Andy?" I say as I close my door and lock it before running to my car.
"Mhm." Is all Andy says, clearly having a hard time breathing, let alone speaking. I start my car and pull out into the street, driving as fast as I can to his house. He only lives 5 minutes away. So I should be there really soon.
"I'm right here, okay baby? I'll be there in like 3 minutes. Stay on the-" the call cuts out and hangs up before I can tell him not to, making me worry even more.
I pull up to his house and park in the driveway before getting out and running up the stairs quickly.
Before I can even ring the doorbell, he opens the door. He must've been watching for my car. The second I see him, my heart breaks. His eyes are red and wet with tears, and his hands are shaking. He looks up at me and tries to speak, but instead just sobs and covers his face with his hands.
"Oh baby, come here. It's okay sweetie." I say as I walk in and pull him into my arms.
I kick the door shut and hold Andy as tight as I can. Andy hugs me back and sobs into my shoulder, his body shaking like hell. He keeps trying to speak, but each time just ends up crying harder.
"Shh, baby, it's okay. You don't need to say anything right now, okay? Just let me hold you and we can talk about it later after you've had some time to calm down," I whisper as I hold him tighter and rub his back.
"Here baby, put this on. I think it might help you. It's like a wearable weighted blanket." I say as I help Andy put it on. It zips in the front, so it was pretty easy to get it on him. After I put it on him, I pull him back into my arms and hold him tight.
After a few minutes, I carefully pick Andy up in my arms and carry him to the couch, sitting down with him in my lap. Andy keeps holding onto me and curls up in my lap, pressing his face into my chest and choking on sobs, holding onto me so tight that his nails are digging into my back, but I don't care at all. I just want him to feel better. I hold him as close to me as I can, playing with his hair and kissing his head every couple minutes while whispering reassurances to him, but it seems to be useless. After a few more minutes, he lets go of me with one hand and covers his mouth to try and make his cries
quieter, but it doesn't work and he ends up screaming between sobs, biting his knuckles to try and make it stop. I carefully take his hand from his face so he doesn't hurt himself and hold it tightly, rubbing the back of his hand with my thumb.
"Oh angel, it's gonna be okay, baby. Whatever it is, we'll get through it together, I promise. I love you so much." I whisper, my eyes filling with tears as well. Seeing him in this state and not being able to help is breaking me.
I wrap my arms around him even tighter and hold him as close as I possibly can, making Andy cling to me even tighter as well. By now the screams have stopped and have been replaced with sharp gasps and hiccups as he tries to catch his breath through his cries.
"I've got you, sweetheart. You're safe, I promise. You’re not on your own, love. I'm right here. I love you." I whisper as I kiss his forehead again, switching between rubbing his back and playing with his hair, making sure to keep one arm around his back and one on his head, not letting him go at all.
Andy pulls away slightly and pulls the weighted jacket tighter around himself, zipping it up in the front before clinging to me again. I left it unzipped when I put it on him so he could easily get it off if he didn't like how it felt, but he seems to like it. He cries in my arms like for what feels like hours, but eventually tires himself out and his cries get quieter and softer, though he's still shaking pretty bad and breathing heavily, but it's probably because he’s been crying so hard that he couldn't breathe at all for the last few hours.
Andy looks up at me, his eyes red from crying so much and tears still falling like rain, looking at me with the saddest and most anxious expression I've ever seen.
"I love you so much, sweetheart. I'm sorry you're feeling like this, honey. I wish I could take all your pain away and give it to myself so you wouldn't have to feel it. You don't deserve this at all." I say softly, wiping tears from his eyes as I continue to hold him in my lap.
"You- you do help. You're the- you're the only one who- who makes it b-better." Andy whispers, his voice broken and raw from screaming and from crying so hard for as long as he did.
"What happened, sweetheart? What made you so upset?" I ask carefully, not wanting to upset him, but still wanting to know what could've made him this upset.
"I was- I was at the studio. We- we were trying to r-record, b-but I kept- I kept fucking up, and now- and now they're all mad at me- and- and they hate me- and I hate me too- and I can't do anything right. I just wanna-" he cuts himself off by breaking down into sobs, pushing his face into my neck and holding onto me as if I'd evaporate into nothing if he let go.
"Oh baby, it's okay. Shh...it's okay. I'm sure they don't hate you, love. Everyone has off days sometimes. It's okay." I say as I hold him tighter, stroking his hair softly. Andy cries harder.
"N-no. They hate me. They're gonna leave me. I- I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up always and- and they hate me. And you- you probably do to." Andy cries, pulling away from me and trying to move away from me. I hold him even tighter, pulling him as close to me as I can.
"Shh, baby, I promise I could never ever hate you. Never. I love you more than anything else in this world, sweetheart. I promise. And the others don't hate you either. I promise baby. And you don't mess everything up, baby. Everyone had bad days, love. Look how far you guys have come since you started. That's because of you. You got as far as you did because you didn't give up and you kept pushing for it to work. You did this, Andy. You're absolutely incredible, and I could not be more proud of you, baby. I promise, no one is gonna hate you for having a bad day. It happens to everyone. You'll get through this, sweetheart. I promise." I say, holding Andy as tight as I can, rubbing his back as he cries into me.
"R-really? You mean that?" Andy asks weakly, his voice barely there at all. I hold him even tighter and kiss his head.
"Of course, angel. You really are amazing. I promise, baby. Everything's gonna be okay, love. I love you so much." I say, stroking his hair as he slowly starts to calm down.
"I-I love you too. S-sorry I'm- I'm such a m-mess." Andy whispers, clinging to me tightly and pressing his face deeper into my neck.
"Shh...it's alright, love, you don't need to apologize for anything, okay? You're not a mess, baby. You're just upset, and that's okay. We'll get through it together, I promise." I say as I kiss his head again, feeling him start to relax in my arms.
"I love you. Thank you." Andy whispers, barely awake.
"Shh, you don't have to thank me, love. It's my job to be here for you. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you so much. Get some sleep, okay baby? Maybe you'll feel a little better after a nap." I say as I lay down on the couch, Andy laying on top of me with his head in my chest and his arms wrapped tightly around me. I hold him close and play with his hair until he eventually falls asleep on me, his body finally relaxing.
"I love you, baby. I'll always protect you. I promise." I whisper as I kiss his head before falling asleep with him.