San
"Haneul! It's been thirty minutes, I need to wash up too." I yell against the door.
Every day is the same. My sister is always in a rush to get ready for school. And since I'm giving her a ride, I need to act like the perfect older brother and wait for her. She is so slow.
Usually, it's Jisoo her driver, but according to how she treated my sister at the party they are probably not friends anymore. Kissing Jongho was not the best move indeed.
This is the only reason why I'll be driving her this morning. I just hate being late because of her. And she is lucky that there is no swimming training on Mondays.
In these thoughts I see Haneul coming out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her.
"Finally..." I whisper annoyed at my sister's slowness.
"It's okay San, it's not ten minutes that will make a difference." She says bitterness. "You only need five minutes under the water anyway."
"Not an excuse to take so much time though," I said while entering the bathroom.
I get rid of my clothes as soon as the door is closed and jump under the warm water. I don't have much time left but I can at least enjoy the small amount of time I will pass in the shower. When the water hits my skin I instantly get a flashback of the sensation I felt yesterday. The hot sensation I felt seeing Wooyoung kissing another guy. I have never felt so attracted by someone before and it scares me. So much.
I put on some shampoo and close my eyes as I wash my hair. I start to reimagine Wooyoung's body, the one I saw in the bathroom when we were only the two of us. The thought of kissing him right there didn't cross my mind at that time as it does now. I wonder what his lips taste like and if his warm breath against my neck will make me shiver. I'm sure my body will react at every of his touch.
I lean my head back and take a deep breath. The water rolling down my face just makes it more difficult not to notice it's heating up because of him. Still, with my eyes close I try to visualize his body in front of mine. Just the thought of him close to me gives me goosebumps. I don't know what he would do to me if he was there.
Deep sigh. Nothing can't stop me from having all these dirty thoughts. Am I really fantasizing about him? I'm just so craving.... and imagining him doing whatever I want excites me more than I thought it could. I'm so in trouble.
I can feel my senses activate and my blood running through a place it should go to now. I guess I had it coming. I lean back to feel the water on my neck and take some soap in my hands to clean my body. All the caresses just make me hornier about him. Would he move his hands on me like this? I'm so desperate to know so I continue to explore my skin. I need more.
I finish cleaning my body and open my eyes. My dick is now hard from all these stimulations. I'm too far now to stop, the bad is already done. Why am I enjoying this so much?
The prohibited is so tempting.
I then imagine Wooyoung on his knees for me ready to take my member in his mouth. Just the idea of it makes me groan in delight. I press my right hand around my dick and move slowly back and forth to stimulate my whole being. I accelerate the process sensing that I'm going to be done pretty fast.
It never happened so quickly.
I cum and lean on my head in pleasure. Wow... That was good. I sigh with a shy smile on my face.
I shake my head in disbelief. What is going on with me?
I clean myself in a hurry while trying to think about anything else but without much success. How can I think of something else? I can't. I just can't. Not after having so much pleasure masturbating over a guy. A guy that I know. A guy that has a boyfriend.
And I have a girlfriend.
"San? We're going to be late if you don't come out now," I hear Haneul screaming against the door.
"Fuck..." I whisper while turning off the shower and getting out quickly. "I'm coming," I answer in a rush while my sister is still waiting for me outside the bathroom.
I look at my reflection in the mirror while drying myself with a towel. My body seems so pleased by what just happened and the peak of adrenaline was so worth it.
Wooyoung what have you done to me?
***
Wooyoung
"Wooyoung?" I hear Seonghwa's voice coming from downstairs.
I blink twice and look around confused. Where am I again? Oh, right. I'm still on the second floor of Seonghwa's house, half-naked and pretty hangover.
Good morning Wooyoung.
"I'm awake," I mumble before heading to the bathroom next to me.
"We don't have much time before the first class, come down and eat." He says before I shut the door behind me.
I move to the sink and splash some water on my face.
Two minutes ago I was clearly staring at the ceiling rethinking last night. It's too much to process. I step back from the sink, deep breath Wooyoung. It's okay.
No, it's not.
I can't believe I did that. I can't believe I said San's name over and over again while kissing Hongjoong. Who does that? I never said his name like that, ever. Maybe it was only a matter of time; I was probably too focused on forgetting about him (through other guys) than healing. And now, one time with him in a small bathroom mixes my head and my heart like it never did before. What the fuck Wooyoung...
I shake my head and sigh.
Hongjoong must feel like shit because of me. Maybe he's so mad that he'll take revenge on me and start a rumor? No, that can't happen. If San learns about all of this, I could not look into his eyes ever again. I'm so ashamed. Besides he doesn't even know that I'm gay. My sexuality will be a smaller shock next to the one of me being in love with him, even after all these years apart. I always used to put these feelings aside, but after the party, I cannot just deny it anymore.
I'm staring at myself in the mirror and just the thought of the last events flips my world upside down. I'm not gonna survive this week, that's for sure.
I don't understand why I reacted this way though; I usually don't care about who I sleep with and why I do it. But last night I really overthought it. The thing is, I really felt relief when Hongjoong exited the room. It's the only feeling I clearly remember from last night, I felt relieved. I did not want to sleep with him. I wanted someone else. The moment I shared with San in the bathroom gave me hope that maybe he's not completely straight. Maybe the alcohol influenced my judgment, but I really sense something in his eyes. Something different.
I know a guy like San would never be attracted to me. He just can't. And besides, having a relationship would be just impossible between us; he has a girlfriend and he's also on the swim team. Two things that keep us apart.
I stare into my eyes and see the other's brown ones in them.
San.
"Arghh. Why does he have to be so perfect?" I whisper before getting out of the bathroom.
I need to change my mind for real this time. San can not just float in my head until the day I die. I'm going to do something about it, but what?
I head down the stairs thinking of a plan. Maybe if I confess my feelings for San and then he rejects me I could finally move on. But honestly, am I ready to get hurt again?
I continue my way and follow the sound of Seonghwa's voice leading me to the kitchen.
"Hurry up! We don't have much time left and I hate being late," Seonghwa warns me. "Wooyou... Oh, you're alive," he jokes when he sees me sitting down at the table.
I yawn in answer before attacking the breakfast he prepared for me.
"Thanks, hyung," I say between two bites of my omelet.
"No problem," Seonghwa says before joining me at the table. "Nice jacket by the way, where did you get it?" He asks staring at the black leather I'm wearing.
"Oh, this.. It's not mine, I borrowed it." I answer staring at my food.
"Another guy huh?" He smirks.
I roll my eyes and shook my head no.
Yes, another guy. His name is San.
Seonghwa probably can tell by my face turning pink what is the real answer. I did not want to lie to him, but I don't want to talk about it either. There is too much stuff on my mind right now.
"I wonder who it is because San said you fell asleep pretty early." He continues looking at me with apprehension.
What...
"San went upstairs?" I question him confused.
"Yeah, I asked him to go check on you," Seonghwa explains, still eating. "I'm sorry, I was worried after hearing you were sick."
What the hell? San went upstairs...
"It's okay hyung," I assure him with a smile to make sure to hide the lie. "I really fell asleep early? At what time did he go?" I asked, worried about what the answer could be. I need to know if he saw me with Hongjoong or not. I need to know.
"San went right after you came upstairs, I guess you were really tired." He concludes while finishing his dish.
I drop the fork on my plate. Seonghwa raises his head due to the loud noise.
"Oh sorry," I say quickly while picking it up. "Yeah, I guess I was."
I then force myself to eat the rest of my omelet after hearing the bad news. I really need to put myself together now but the thought of San seeing me with Hongjoong gives me anxiety.
San saw everything. Everything.
These cuties.