A n e w s t e p
Warning: this chapter contains mature content but fear not i will put *** when it starts
I am so tired of everything, when will I get a break? From everything, Edwina's cruel remarks, society scrutinizing our every move, trying and failing to repress my feelings towards Anthony. I cannot bottle everything away for so long.
I head off towards the gardens, everything I bottled up for so long, breaking through. I covered my face with my hands, sitting down on a chair, trying to calm myself down.
"What are you doing out here?" i raise my head coming face to face with Anthony
"My apologies" I say as I stand up and turn to walk away
"No, no, please, stay" He begs, i stop in my tracks before I sighed and turn back around to face him, not in the mood to argue
I nod as I sit down once again, he sat down next to me "I am tired, Anthony" I rest my head on his shoulder "With everything going on, I never thought it all would get so hard. Edwina is hurt, makes cruel comments directed at us, and will not speak to me unless mama, Kate or Lady Danbury tells her to. The ton and their gossip and..." i trail off as i look around the gazebo "we should not be here, alone, unchaperoned" I come to my senses, standing up once again
"Nobody will see us, just sit down"
"No, you cannot assure that, you already know what will happen if someone sees us here, I will be ruined, and you will get out unscathed, like men always do" I argue
"Must you do this? We were getting along well before you started with your arguments. why are you so complicated all the time, I cannot keep up with you, and you never listen to what I say or ask you to do" He huffs
"Well, I can certainly understand why that would be so troubling for a man like you" I narrow my eyes at him
"A man like me?" He rolls his eyes "Pray tell me, what do you mean by a man like me?" He scoffs
"A man used to always getting his way, a man always used to giving orders-" I explain
"I do not give orders" Anthony scowls
"You tell me something and expect me to listen, I do not and will not do it-"
"Perhaps you should"
"I'll never listen to you! Or to anyone I wholeheartedly disagree with!" I snap angrily "The fact it has taken you this long to come to terms with that, to accept that fact baffles me"
"You wish to know why i do?"
"Because you yourself are complicated, refusing to accept anything that does not benefit you. I am uncertain you even know why" I huff
"I know why"
"Enthrall me with your self knowledge and awareness, oh so mighty, Viscount Bridgerton" I scowl
"It is because I have never met anyone like you" he shakes his head as he admits, I stay silent "You are one of the nicest, supportive people I have ever met, and yet, you can be quite competitive and challenging"
"It is maddening, how much you consume my very being" he breathes out "My family is on the brink of ruin. I am nearly certain every last one of my brothers and sisters secretly despise me, my own mother, at that. Despite the fact that I have lived the better part of my life for them. And yet still, all I find myself thinking about, all I find myself being able to breath for, is you" I hold his stare
"Do you think that I want to be in this position?" He asks, I shake my head understanding him "Contending with these thoughts of wanting to be nowhere except with you. Wanting to run away with you. Of acting on the most impure, forbidden desires, no matter how much I must remind myself" He walks closer to me
"I am gentleman, and you are a lady, of that, that scent" he breaths in, his nose brushing my neck making me gasp out "It has remained imprinted on my mind ever since the night of my mother's ball on the library. Lilacs" he whispers out, I stare down at his lips before i look back into his eyes
"You have to stop" he says, I chuckle
"I have to stop?" I whisper humorously "i have done nothing, my lord"
"There is no other course of action to be concluded. You must stop!" we stay silent for a few moments before i speak up
"It has been you" I admit, walking to the other side, away from him, to see if i can think coherently now that i am not close to him "It has been you this entire time, spinning my world off its axis, making me hate myself over and over again for having feelings for you when, Edwina was gaining feelings for you as you kept pursuing her."
"Do you know how hard it was? Pretending to feel nothing for you except friendship, that I felt nothing whenever you touched me, or smiled at me, that I did not feel the desire to kiss you whenever you were in the room. And all for Edwina to be happy" I shake my head "You are the one who must stop, before-" i stop before i let out what i want to say
"Before what? Before we finally give in to our desires? Before we stop caring for whatever everyone else may feel and only care for how we feel?" We stare at each other intensely
He clenched his jaw, breathing out "Please go inside" I furrowed my eyebrows shaking my head "Go... Inside."
"What did I tell you about you and your orders?" I scowl
He stares at me, shakes his head and approaches me quickly, and slams his lips to mine. I kiss back gasping as he groans.
***MATURE CONTENT AHEAD***
He puts his hands on my waist, one of his hands wandering down before pulling my dress up and disappearing under it.
I stop the kiss, I gasp before moaning out as he touches the place no one has ever before, grasping onto his shoulder tightly. He groans, letting go of me and putting his hands up in surrender.
"I will stop"
"No, do not stop" I shake my head, slamming my lips onto his fiercely.
He kissed me back before turning me back around, kissing down my shoulder, unlacing my dress, letting it fall down once it was unbuttoned. I turn back around, kissing him once again as he takes off his coat. I take off my gloves, helping him unbutton his shirt once I am done, all while still kissing him.
He took off my tights and bottoms as he pulls me down to lay on a makeshift bed, getting on top of me. He kissed down my body, warm wet kisses laid upon my bare skin, I gasped out as his head moved lower and lower, his hand staying on top of my now uncovered breasts. I moaned as his mouth got to that one part where I needed him the most, he opened his hand, giving me something to hold on, I grabbed it, holding onto it tightly as he pleasures me, my other hand going to grab the pillow where I was laying my head on.
I buried my head into the pillow, moaning out loudly as i hit my first orgasm, Anthony got on top of me once more, settling between my legs. I held onto his head, my breaths coming out fast and shallow. I kissed him once more, my hands going around his neck to pull him even closer.
He stopped the kiss and started to take off his belt and pants, once he was done, he parted my legs even more, settling at my entrance, I breath out heavily as I knew what was to come.
"This may hurt for a moment" he caressed my cheeks lovingly "I am so sorry, my love" He plunged forward.
"Oh," I gasped. "Oh, god." He groaned, burying his head into my neck as his body began to move in a slow rhythm.
His mouth smashed over mine as one of his hands snaked up to caress my face lovingly. I rose my hips hips to meet his, moving tentatively at first, then with a vigor that matched the desire and passion that was rising with each move of Anthony.
"Oh, God, Y/n," he moaned, his ability to form flowery sentences completely lost in the primitive heat of the moment. "You're so good. So good."
I moaned along with him, closing my eyes, wrapping my legs around his waist, bringing him even closer, him hitting places that he was not before, bringing me much more pleasure
My breath was coming faster and faster, my moans more frequent with every passing moment. Anthony turned my head and kissed me to quiet me down, groaning into my mouth.
With a ragged groan, he forced himself to stop thrusting and catch his breath. "Y/n?" he said hoarsely
My eyes, which I had closed as the pleasure was too much, snapped open. "Don't stop," I pleaded , "please don't stop. I'm so close to something-I don't know what. God, Anthony please"
"Oh, God," he groaned, plunging back in to the hilt, throwing his head back as his spine arched. "You're so beautiful, so unbelievably perfect"
"All mine, just mine" he murmured as he thrust in and out quickly, I dug my nails into his back, moaning.
"Probably could have done this faster if you only paid attention to me before and did not start courting my sister instead, which is now making me doubt if your intentions are pure, now that I think about it" I gasped out teasingly, he stopped moving, looking at me amused
"Really? You want to speak about your sister, right now?" He raised a eyebrow, I chuckle
"Well, you were the one that said that no one would think anything was happening between us since you were courting my sister the incomparable, did you not?" i let out a laugh "anyone would have some doubts if you suddenly declared your undying love for me after saying that"
"You better stop talking, or I'm going to have to tie you up and have my way with you a hundred different ways, until you finally get it through your silly skull that you are the most beautiful and desirable woman in England, and if everyone else does not see that, then they're all bloody fools." My mouth fell open when he gave a harsh thrust silencing anything i had to say
One of his brows arched into what had to be the most arrogant expression ever to grace his face. "Is that understood?" I nodded, not being able to form a sentence when he gave another harsh thrust
"Good," he grunted, and then, before I could catch my breath, his lips were devouring mine in a kiss so fierce, I was clutching the bed just to keep from screaming.
His hips ground into mine, frenzied in their power, thrusting, rotating, stroking until i was certain I could not take anymore. I moaned out, little screams escaping me.
I clutched at him tightly "I cannot take anymore Anthony.... ah.... it is too muc- oh!" I gasped, certain I would break any given moment. My muscles were stiff, tense, and it was getting hard to breathe. But if he heard me, he didn't care. His face was a harsh mask of concentration, sweat beading on his brow.
"Anthony," I said, breathing heavily "I can-"
One of his hands slipped between us and touched my bundle of nerves , I screamed, his mouth covering mine, muffling my screams. He slammed forward one last time, and everything simply fell apart.
I went stiff, then my body shaked, I felt like I had died and gone to heaven. I could not breathe, could not even gasp. My head fell back as my hands switched between grabbing at the mattress or Anthony, with a ferocity I never have believed I possessed.
Anthony went utterly still above me after he pulled out, his seed shooting out onto my stomach, his mouth open in a silent scream, and then he collapsed, the weight of him pressing me farther into the mattress.
***END OF MATURE CONTENT**
"Oh, my God," he groaned, his body now shaking." Never...it's never so good.it's never been so good." He kissed me again, lovingly this time, his hands caressing all over my body.
He laid down on my other side after cleaning my stomach with his shirt, pulling me into him, my head laying on his chest as he wrapped his hands around me. I calmed my breath as he gave my forehead a kiss. Feeling as if my eyes will close at any given moment now that i felt so relaxed, an euphoric feeling still covering my body
"It is alright, darling, sleep, I will be here in the morning" he murmured sweetly.
I nodded, kissing his cheek before settling my head into his neck and closing my eyes exhaustedly, falling into a deep sleep.