Tales of a Heart ▪︎ Anthony Bridgerton

✵TWELVE✵

S h e k n o w s

Edwina walked into the room as we jumped away from each other. "I asked what is going on!"

"Nothing is going on, bon, we were just talking-" I say as she looks at me betrayed

"Just talking, I saw you both close enough to kiss, why would-" realization crossed her face as tears filled her eyes

"I get it now, all those times you both would disappear alone, you both would be very pensive and distracted, you call him by his given name!" Edwina exclaims

"Miss Edwina-"

"Lord Bridgerton, if you could leave, I would be most grateful"

"But Miss-"

"Now please!" I looked at him and nodded. When he left, Edwina continued.

"I want the truth!" She exclaimed loudly, footsteps could be heard approaching the room. Mama entering soon after.

"What is going on?" i stay silent

"Oh, suddenly your words fail you, sister?" She scoffs

"Edwina, Y/n, I am not sure what is going on"

"I shall tell you what is going on mama," Edwina says "after a time of helping me win over the Viscount, all those talks I've had with her and Kate, of great, gallant notions and looks between lovers"

"Edwina-" I shake my head panicked

"You have feelings for him!" Edwina cries out, mama looks between us shocked "All this time, you wanted him for yourself"

"No, that is not true" I denied

"Oh, you cannot deny it now, Y/n!" She yelled "How could I have been such a fool? You made a fool out of me, again and again! You told me... you told me nice things about the Viscount, made me like him more each, and every single time!" tears drop from my eyes

"I fooled myself into believing you had only the purest of intentions, that your only desire was for me to be happy"

"And you are no one's fool. That is the truth" I plead with her, she walked closer to me.

"Do you love him?" my face paled "You told me it did not matter that he was pursuing me, that you were happy for us, but I saw you, every time, the pain in your eyes but I ignored it because you told me you felt nothing for him, but everytime your happy smile faded your feelings were strong. Do you love him?" I stayed quiet

"That is enough!" Mama exclaimed "Let us all take a moment to calm ourselves, shall we?"

"Now, the Viscount does not wish to marry me any longer and it is all your fault, I am certain, this has not been the first time you have been in such circumstances, has it?" I nodded slowly, she deserves the truth after all. Edwina sobbed.

"You know, you were supposed to be the one to stop me from getting hurt, instead, you are the person who has inflicted the most pain in me, your betrayal hurts worse than Kate's" She stormed out of the room, mama going after her.

I breath out, looking around the room before I fall down to the floor, crying.

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

I was taking a walk around the garden, thinking everything over. I sit down on a bench, looking at the fountain in the middle of the garden. I sniffle as tears stung my eyes, for what seems like the million time since the country visit to Aubrey Hall.

"Y/n..." I turn around wiping my eyes, Anthony behind me.

"You cannot be he-"

"I have just spoken to Miss Edwina, we thought it better to end this engagement" I stayed silent "She certainly was harsher than I thought her to be, you know she gave me a lecture, said she thought everything over in the night and has come to a conclusion"

"She is braver and wiser than us both, she had the courage to act on what she sensed between us, and here we are, standing perfectly still, having felt it for months, and not even acting on it" I looked down at the floor

"I suffered all this time" I admitted sadly "watching you pursuing my sister, those moments that passed between us and you saying it was a mistake, and something that should have not happened, you proposing to my sister and saying that no one would suspect anything happening between us because if you had the diamond, why would you pursue a piece of coal"

"So forgive me, if it is now my wish, to suspend time, to not start something that I know is inevitable, to distance ourselves, and this time, make you wait"

I walk closer to him and put my hand on his cheek. My eyes roaming all over his face before I leaned in and kissed him.

He kissed me back fiercely, his hands on my back to hold me better, my own hands going around his neck. Our mouths move perfectly in sync, putting all those feelings we held back into the kiss.

He puts his hand on my cheek as I pull away from the kiss. Our breaths heavy as we stare at one another. I hold back my tears as I smiled sadly.

"Goodbye, Anthony" I walk away

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I enter the room where Edwina is waiting for me. She did not turn to look at me as I entered, I sighed sadly.

"Edwina, you must know, I never intended to wound you. I know I should have told you everything, about how I felt" She finally looked at me "Yes, yes, I do have feelings for the Viscount. But they were no match for the love I had, and continue to have, for you. And you must know I will do everything in my power to ensure your happiness"

"Including going back to India with Kate? That is your solution, is it not?"

"I wish to make things right. My feelings for Anth- Lord Bridgerton do not matter anymore" I sniffled

"What is to be of the Viscount?"

"I have told him I cannot be with him"

"Why would you do that? You love him" She questioned

"But I love you more, and I cannot be with him knowing that you liked him, I have hurt you and I will not hurt you anymore, so I will give him up, it does not matter, as long as you are happy" She smiled sadly

"I loathe that you cannot be selfish for once, I am pretty sure the Viscount already told you, I thought about this all night. You told me the very first day you saw him, that you saw him first. You helped me with him, helped him pursue me, and you never once told me you wanted him for yourself." She said "Why are you putting everyones happiness before your own? Be selfish, for once, go after what you want, what you so very desire, him. I forgive you, didi. But I will need time, to heal, to prepare myself just in case you ever do agree to be with him" She admitted "Think about what I said, yeah?" She gave me a small smile and left.