A n e w s t e p
Warning: this chapter contains mature content but fear not i will put *** when it starts
I am so tired of everything, when will I get a break? From everything, Edwina's cruel remarks, society scrutinizing our every move, trying and failing to repress my feelings towards Anthony. I cannot bottle everything away for so long.
I head off towards the gardens, everything I bottled up for so long, breaking through. I covered my face with my hands, sitting down on a chair, trying to calm myself down.
"What are you doing out here?" i raise my head coming face to face with Anthony
"My apologies" I say as I stand up and turn to walk away
"No, no, please, stay" He begs, i stop in my tracks before I sighed and turn back around to face him, not in the mood to argue
I nod as I sit down once again, he sat down next to me "I am tired, Anthony" I rest my head on his shoulder "With everything going on, I never thought it all would get so hard. Edwina is hurt, makes cruel comments directed at us, and will not speak to me unless mama, Kate or Lady Danbury tells her to. The ton and their gossip and..." i trail off as i look around the gazebo "we should not be here, alone, unchaperoned" I come to my senses, standing up once again
"Nobody will see us, just sit down"
"No, you cannot assure that, you already know what will happen if someone sees us here, I will be ruined, and you will get out unscathed, like men always do" I argue
"Must you do this? We were getting along well before you started with your arguments. why are you so complicated all the time, I cannot keep up with you, and you never listen to what I say or ask you to do" He huffs
"Well, I can certainly understand why that would be so troubling for a man like you" I narrow my eyes at him
"A man like me?" He rolls his eyes "Pray tell me, what do you mean by a man like me?" He scoffs
"A man used to always getting his way, a man always used to giving orders-" I explain
"I do not give orders" Anthony scowls
"You tell me something and expect me to listen, I do not and will not do it-"
"Perhaps you should"
"I'll never listen to you! Or to anyone I wholeheartedly disagree with!" I snap angrily "The fact it has taken you this long to come to terms with that, to accept that fact baffles me"
"You wish to know why i do?"
"Because you yourself are complicated, refusing to accept anything that does not benefit you. I am uncertain you even know why" I huff
"I know why"
"Enthrall me with your self knowledge and awareness, oh so mighty, Viscount Bridgerton" I scowl
"It is because I have never met anyone like you" he shakes his head as he admits, I stay silent "You are one of the nicest, supportive people I have ever met, and yet, you can be quite competitive and challenging"
"It is maddening, how much you consume my very being" he breathes out "My family is on the brink of ruin. I am nearly certain every last one of my brothers and sisters secretly despise me, my own mother, at that. Despite the fact that I have lived the better part of my life for them. And yet still, all I find myself thinking about, all I find myself being able to breath for, is you" I hold his stare
"Do you think that I want to be in this position?" He asks, I shake my head understanding him "Contending with these thoughts of wanting to be nowhere except with you. Wanting to run away with you. Of acting on the most impure, forbidden desires, no matter how much I must remind myself" He walks closer to me
YOU ARE READING
Tales of a Heart ▪︎ Anthony Bridgerton
Fanfiction•It was originally posted on tumblr, my tumblr is @alewritesfics▪︎ ♡Anthony Bridgerton x reader♡ Anthony Bridgerton has declared he's looking for a wife, his future viscountess. With every debutante competing to capture his attention, although ther...
