CHAPTER XL: Angel's Lament
ANGEL
I threw the sunglasses from my face as soon as I got in the car. Angry, and frustrated I repeatedly smacked the steering wheel.
This was not a part of the plan. Her choosing Donnie over me was a rearward attack I did not see coming.
Was this basically the end? There isn't anything else I could do to persuade her otherwise. It was like she was gone from me, she saw through the bullshit and wasn't willing to forgive me.
Something had to be done. She was mine. Not Donnie's. I found her, I watched her, I was the one she thought about all those nights she was alone.
It was me who she wanted to see after being captured and tortured. She yearned for my body and my lips to be on hers. Not him.
Should I kill him?
I dug for the gun in the glovebox. I had always felt a certain type of adrenaline when I held that cold steel in my hands. This time, I felt the blood rushing to my heart.
Should I kill them both, finally?
I sat in the silence of my car for a while, the engine hadn't been started and I was just sitting in the cold.
Sighing, the animosity in my heart dissipated. And I relaxed into the car seat. All this time my main goal was to make that girl suffer. Then kill her brutally. Somewhere down the line, I had forgotten that objective.
I began developing...feelings for her. Feelings of lust, a deep desire for that women. I won't say I was caring toward her...but I won't deny that I had treated her with care.
Most times.
Sighing yet again, I contemplated running back into that house and forcefully taking her. I wanted to throw her over my shoulder, carry her to this car and drive off. What was so wrong with that?
My phone began to vibrate, the ringtone shortly followed after. I pulled it from my jacket pocket, and looked at the caller ID.
It was Vito.
I exhaled heavily from my nose and bit into my lip. I wasn't hesitant to answer the phone. I was afraid of talking to him and being overcome by the need to go and snatch Dante up. Was there a point in forcing her to go with me?
I was in turmoil.
Lifting the phone up to my ear, I answered his call.
Roughly, I asked him, " what?"
" Where are you?" He asked me. I leaned back into the seat and looked out the window to glance upon Donnie's house.
" Does it matter?" I asked him, starting up the engine and switching the gear to drive.
He sighed, and I could hear rustling in the background.
" We have a problem. Wherever the fuck you are, you need to get here!" He sighed into the phone, barking orders at me before abruptly ending the call.
When did everyone else become boss?
I thought lastly before speeding off onto the road.
DANTE
I heaved and heaved in big breaths. Donnie still stood beside me, he himself had been gasping for air. I took a seat, placing my head and my hands and resting my elbows on my lap. That could have been a lot worse.
Calming myself down by regulating my breathing, I noticed Donnie was still standing. It seemed the adrenaline was still pumping for him.
" I'm sorry." I said to him. Thinking about it, did he actually deserve an apology. What exactly was I apologizing for?
It's everyone else's fault I'm in this situation! Not mine.
If what Angel said is true, then isn't it ultimately my daddy's fault? Isn't it Angels? I can also blame Donnie. Was I wrong for trying to escape Angel? Was I wrong for being afraid when I had been abducted? Is it my fault I continually ended up in those near fatal incidences?
I could say to some degree, I was at fault. I didn't listen to Angel when he said stay put. I didn't keep my mouth shut when I was being held captive. But, can I really say all of this is my fault?
It's these men. These organized criminals.
" Why are you apologizing?" Donnie remarked. Almost as if he were shocked by my sudden apology. I, myself was shocked by my apology. No one deserved an apology more than me.
I remained silent and continued on in my own thoughts.
" Dante, you couldn't possibly be blaming yourself for any of this could you?" He asked me seriously, a solemn look coming to his face.
" Are you crazy?" I asked him. I will not take the blame for anything besides ignorance.
" Look at me." He said, walking over to me as I sat in the chair.
Once again, he kneeled down in front of me. He slowly pried my hands from my head, lifting my chin to look me in the eyes.
Why was this man so gentle? Did he too, want something from me? Did he perhaps like seeing me so stressed and tired?
" Why are you doing this? Why are you so nice to me?" I demanded. I felt like there was no one I could trust. He didn't know me before this whole fiasco. Why did I find so much comfort in him?
" This may be hard to believe but, even when you were lying in that bed close to death I had a desire to help you get better. I found beauty in your heart because you fought to stay alive. You had something I didn't, and that was perseverance. I believe I was drawn in by that." He said to me. Somewhere in the middle of him talking, he began caressing my hand. I let him.
" Cara, I am sorry. I'm sorry you had to endure all of this. I'm sorry you had to meet Angel. I'm sorry about your father. I'm sorry that you had to shoulder everything all alone, and had no one to truly wipe your tears for you. I'm so sorry, Cara." He said to me, before he pulled me into his embrace.
He wrapped his arms tight around my body. He held me snug against his chest, his head positioned in the crook of my neck. At first, I sat there frozen. I wasn't sure what to do, but the more I hesitated the tighter his held became.
All in all, I had succumbed to him. I completely melted in his hold, and I allowed my tears to fall freely and silently. This time, I didn't feel the need to hold back my emotions anymore. I let out the loudest wail I could, and I was able to completely lose myself in my grief.
With no restrictions, nor restraint.
And Donnie simply held me. He didn't comment or make a sound. He was just there to be my shoulder. The shoulder I had needed for the longest of time.
I let myself go, but Donnie was there to hold me up.
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After I had finished bawling my eyes out, Donnie let go of me. He wore the softest smile as he slowly wiped the tears from my face. With his thumbs still wet from the salty liquid, he brought both of them to his mouth and pecked the both of them.
The backflip my heart did in my chest was no joke. That had to have been the single most tender thing anyone has done for me. It felt unreal after watching him do it.
After that, he rose to his full height. He bent over to look me in my eyes once more before he leaned in closer. Instinctively my eyes fluttered close and I was preparing myself for a kiss.
Donnie had something else in mind. He simply pecked my forehead. For the most part I was dumbfounded but at the same time I thanked him for not taking advantage of that moment. I would've have let him do whatever he wanted in that moment because of how broken hearted I was feeling.
" Thank you." I told him softly. I looked down to see that I had been fiddling with my fingers. They had been balled up in my lap.
" For what?" He asked, as he pushed himself up and began cleaning up his home.
" For being my shoulder to cry on. I mean it." I answered him truthfully, rising up from the chair to help him clean.
" No need to thank me. It's a given." He said, staring down at the broken dining room table flinging his hands in the air. That table was completely damaged.
" Hey, um...how about we leave this here and go shopping for some things." He suggested. I could tell he had already given up on trying to make his home look tidy.
" I don't think we should leave it like this." I said as I continued picking up food and wooden pieces.
" It's fine, I'll have the housekeeper come finish this." He said, rushing over to the kitchen and grabbing car keys from the counter.
I watched him as he ran over to the closet and pulled out one hoodie and a coat.
He handed me the coat, and proceeded to throw his arms through the hoodie. I then, put the coat around my arms. It was a bit baggy and my arms were too short to fit from the sleeves. But it was fine for now. It was warm so I wasn't making any complaints.
We walked over to the hallway entrance of the front door and went out the door beside the front one.
This was the garage.
Donnie quickly threw some shoes on and started the engine as we walked toward the car. He pulled open the door for me and slammed it shut once I was in the car.
He then got into the driver side and hastily pulled out of the garage.
We were on the road, and I wasn't sure where we were headed.
" I know I asked you earlier but, where do you plan to go?" He asked me, focused on the road.
I continued to look out the window.
" Some place he wouldn't bother looking for me at. Maybe Canada." I said. Hopeful that Donnie wouldn't have some sort of rebuttal like last time.
" Cara, I will tell you something about my little cousin. He is persistent, he doesn't know how to take no for an answer. He's adamant and when he wants something...he gets it." He tried reasoning. I began to fiddle with my fingers.
" So you don't think I can escape from him?" I asked him, turning my head to look at his face.
" I am saying you can escape, but he will always pursue." He said, as we were driving on the highway.
" What do you think I should do?" I asked him, now turning my full body in his direction.
" There isn't much you can do, you evaded Angels plans. Now he's either going to obsess over the fact that you avoided death, or that you said no to him. Angel is no complex being, most of the times he's easy to read." Donnie said. As I looked at his face closely I saw a purplish-blue color forming on his cheek. His lip was becoming a little puffy, and I could obviously see a cut in the corner of his lip.
" Why do you know so much about him? Angel?" I asked, curious as to why someone he seemed to dislike he knew so much about.
" Sometimes, you know your sworn enemy better than you know yourself. There's also the fact that we were practically raised together and I am his one and only close cousin." He said to me, taking his eyes off the road to glance in my direction.
" Keep your eyes forward." I commanded, looking away from his gaze.
He deeply chuckled beside me.
I continued to examine his face when without me realizing, I had reached out to touch him. At first he flinched from my touch, and at that moment I could tell that he was just as uncertain as I was.
Unafraid of the contact, I continued to caress his face. He relaxed more into my touch and let me do freely as I pleased.
" Does it hurt?" I asked him. He was slowly bringing the car to a stop at a red light when he turned to look at me.
" No, not anymore." He said, staring at me so intently it caused my heart to skip a beat. I was concerned that my mind and body had been craving his attention just because he was there when I needed it. I don't think it was that simple.
I wanted to...kiss him. I wanted him to hold me like he held me before. In my heart, I just knew it was wrong. He was probably helping me out the kindness of his heart, and here I was looking for someone to take the pain away.
These scars were mine to bear alone. Not anyone else's. Whatever this was, I had to stop it. I didn't want to consider Donnie a rebound.
" Donnie-" I said, before he suddenly cut me off.
" I know." He said, turning his attention back on the road.
" I know it, Cara. But sometimes, I want to lose control too." He said. I saw the veins in his arm contract as he tightened his grip around the steering wheel.
" Donnie, I... I wish we could have met under different circumstances." I said to him, now feeling saddened. I looked down into my lap to stare at my folded hands.
" I do too." A small pained smile formed on his lips. I could feel the grievances in my heart, because Lord knew I wanted that too.
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NOT EDITED
-99hikori
Thanks for reading!