SPIDER
I was watching a movie while all of my friends were at Formal. Being expelled meant not allowed on school grounds but even if I could attend it, what difference would it make? I wasn't graduating. I was the one staying back there while everyone close to me would just go. Away from this neighborhood. I heard a loud thunder sound making the lights flickered. God, I thought. A bit scared to be alone during a thunderstorm, hoping I'd get to keep electricity. I got up from my sofa and made my way to the window. I wondered if I had close the garage door like my father had told me before leaving for the weekend. Instead, I found JJ standing at the bottom of my stairs in the light rain. Her hair was frizzy yet glowing from all of the tiny raindrops in it. And even if her makeup was smudged, she looked the prettiest. I dropped the curtain as she spotted me from outside and made my way to open the door. Thunder echoed as she flinched to the sound of it.
"What are you doing?" I shouted but she didn't gave any response or reaction. "Justine? What's going on? Are you okay?"
I approached, walking down the stairs and I could finally see her face. It wasn't rain dripping on her cheeks, but tears and they were coming down her eyes like a waterfall. I sensed my heart dropped. I hated seeing her so fragile like she could break at any moment.
"I—"
Her voice broke before any other words could come out of her mouth and my only reaction was to hold her so I did. I embraced her. I hid her head in my chest, caressing her wet hair as she cried in my arms. Who or what would make her cry like this? She was hysterical like she had forgotten how to breath. I slowly started to walk us inside my house, not letting her out of my hold. She dropped her heels on the floor, the sound echoing in my empty home that didn't seem much empty now that she was here. I gently sat her on the entrance's bench but kept a hold of her head in between my hands. She was freezing, her mauve lips shaking from the cold. I tried to keep her warm but I quickly realized her wet clothes didn't help.
"J." I sighed. "Your skin is too cold. We need to warm you up, yeah?"
She finally looked at me in the eyes but there wasn't any emotions, like she had locked all of her feelings out of her heart and threw the key away. A single tear fell down her cheek and then to her chin.
"Come on."
I took her by the shoulders and guided her to the bathroom where the bath was. I sat her on the edge and turned on the hot water. While waiting for the tub to fill, we stayed silent but so many questions kept popping. What happened? Was Ant the one who made her cry like this? Had he hurt her? If he did, he was a dead man. It broke my heart seeing her like that. I opened the cabinet and grabbed a fresh towel.
"I'll leave you to it. Call me if there's any—"
"Stay." She faintly spoke wiping the tears.
She sighed before standing up and showing me her back. She lifted her hair and I unzipped her dress. She looked beautiful in that dress, I wished I had been the one dancing with her that night. I turned my head away as she stripped from her wet clothes and got in the water. She grabbed her hair and effortlessly put it in a bun as she wrapped her arms around her knees. I sat down on the floor, laying my back on the bathtub and facing the door. I noticed the paper hiding in between pieces of her dress. I touched it hoping she had liked it. I felt her shivering behind me so I took the washcloth that was placed on the edge and dropped it into the hot water. I pressed the water to make it drip onto her neck and shoulders trying to warm her faster. I did it over and over.
"Thank you for the gift." She turned her head, a small smile slowly creeping her lips.
"It's nothing."
"You bought me a star, Spence."
I did. I knew how much she loved them. The stars, I mean. I had caught her a few times looking at the sky, it was sort of a habit. She looked always so happy and I guess, I wanted to make her as happy as the stars did. She let out a faint sigh trying to get a hold of herself.
"You want to tell me what happened tonight?"
"I took your advice." She paused. "I talked to Ant for the truth."
"So you know?"
"Yeah, I know." Her voice broke again.
God. How I hated hearing the shaking in her voice, she was truly hurt. I was furious at myself for keeping it a secret but Dusty and Ant insisted. I never would have done anything to actually hurt her. I knew I usually jerk around, talking shit and saying snarky comments but that, I knew she could take it. It was nothing like getting her mother fired and blaming her for the maps. I had wanted to come clean since the moment Ant told me it was him all along. I didn't knew until then. I wouldn't play her like that. One night, he was buzzed out of his mind and babbled about it, not to say bragging. Since then, I pulled myself away from her life. I couldn't trust myself around her, I would have told the minute she would have lay her eyes in mine. That's why I had been distant. That and the fact she was dating Ant. Everyone thinking their relationship was the cutest when he had betrayed her way before they started dating. Played her from the beginning and he never showed an ounce of regret. It's weird how you think you knew someone until this kind of shit happens. Ant made me lie to her. He made me hurt her and I would never forgive him for it.
"Stop overthinking this. I forgive you."
I smiled. I wet the washcloth one more time and gently caressed her neck with it. I sensed her back hair rising to my touch and a shiver travelled all along her spine. She timidly chuckled to her own body's reaction, something she couldn't lie about. I liked seeing her react like that to my touch.
"You warmed up?"
She nodded, hesitant to leave the comfort of the bath and hot water. I got up on my feet and stretched my arms towards her, wiggling my fingers. She smiled and rested her hands in mine, squeezing them as I helped her got out of the bathtub. Our bodies colliding as she lost her balance but our hands still holding each other. My gaze travelled from her eyes to her nose and to her lips that had return to their usual pink color. Heavy breathing, her breasts rose and fell grazing my chest. Now, I was the one shivering. She made my heart do backflips and my mind go places I couldn't resist. With the tip of my index, I stroked along her thigh to her waist as her head fell back to my touch letting a faint moan out of her mouth. The things I wanted to do to her at that moment. But I needed to suppress my urges, she was too vulnerable. Too fragile. I couldn't take advantage of it.
"Take me to bed." She finally spoke up. "Please?"
I nodded. I bent down to reach the towel and wrapped it around her body. I walked her to the room next to the bathroom. My bedroom. I approached my drawers and pulled out a jumper for her to wear.
"Thanks." She grinned.
She laid on the unmade bed, already making herself at home. I liked that she thought of my bed as home, of me as home. She must be exhausted. I wet my lips with my tongue and as I was about to exit the room, she whispered.
"I don't want to be alone."
I cocked my head, pinching my eyebrows together. Not sure if she truly wanted for me to stay.
"Spence." She insisted.
I got out of my clothes and went under the bedsheets. Both laying on our sides, facing each other, I caressed her cheek. Even after the bath, her skin was cold to the touch. I opened my mouth, ready to let out the words that were burning my lips.
"Don't apologize again." She said putting two fingers on my lips, restraining me from talking. I kissed them and her eyes widened as she let them fall onto the bed. "There he is." She smiled.
And I knew exactly what she meant by those words. The memories of the night we shared together that summer flashed before my eyes. I wrapped my arm around her back and pulled her closer to me. Our lips almost touching, I could feel her hot breath on my face.
"You don't understand how long I've waited to do this again." I whispered.
"Trust me, I know. I've waited for it too."
I grabbed the back of her head and pulled her into a kiss. Gentle at first but it soon became fiery, full of passion. Passion we so deeply shared that made my body want to explode of ecstasy. Something I never could deny even if I wanted to. Watching her with Ant, dating him only made me realize how I only wanted her. She brought out the best version of me, always challenging me and questioning me. She changed me into a better person. I loved every little things about her. Her sarcastic comments when someone annoys her. Her very expressive face, she can't hide nothing. Her love for the stars. Her drunk dancing. Her big blue eyes. Her beauty spot under her left breast. Her scrunched nose when she lied. Her drunk bad habit of smoking cigarettes.
I loved her.