"Don't leave my office without dismissal again. Understood?"
***
Knock.
The sound seemed to echo throughout the room on the other side of the door, muffled movement ceasing as the room occupant processed the sound in their head. A short, silent moment passed before a loud crash sounded, followed by three loud thumps of footsteps lead up to the door before I heard the lock being unlatched and a disheveled Hange opens the door.
"Hey, stranger! Come, come! I'm running some tests." I didn't even get time to blink before my jacket sleeve was caught up in her grasp, her eager footsteps dragging me into the lab behind her.
"Woah, what are you testing for you to be so excited about?" I ask matching her pace after a few trips over air and my own feet.
"Look." She says, turning to face me as her eyes gleam at her hand pushed into her pocket. Pulling her hand out, she held a blue crystal like rock. I cocked my head at it, a silent urge to continue with an explanation. "This is a piece of the hardened skin from the female titan." My eyes widened before I reach up to grab it, her hand carefully placing it in my fingertips.
"It didn't disappear?" I whisper, bemusement clear in my tone as I stare at it unblinkingly. It was beautiful, it seemed to illuminate a blue glow from the reflection of the candlelight.
"Exactly! Which is what brings me over here." She says grabbing my wrist and dragging me towards a device I believe she called a microscope. Under the lenses sat a rock, a supposedly normal looking rock, but what could a normal rock have for Hange to seem so invested in it? And what was the relation between the crystal and this rock?
"What am I looking at?" I ask, the crystal still in my hand.
"This, my friend, is a device that I created to be able to observe the structure of substances that the naked eye cannot see. Look into that bit at the top, it should be angled at the rock. Through those lenses you should be able to see the fibers of the rock, and if I change the lenses to this-" She says, digging into a drawer under the counter, pulling out a thicker, denser cylinder of glass. "You can make out the molecular structure of the substance. I found that to make this type of glass, you need to have pure silicon dioxide in order to purify it, hence why everything is so much more focused and zoomed in."
"Wait wait, so this type of thing can identify multiple different things, but also the similarities between two or more things?" I ask, gazing at the device before back at her.
"Precisely, which also brings me to this thing." She says, removing the current lenses and putting the thicker one in. "Look at the structure of this rock, and then switch it to that crystal." I do as she says, studying this new form of seeing the world from such a minuscule perspective, before I put my hand in to change the rock.
"Ew, is that what my hand looks like up close?" I ask, grimacing at the sight. "Don't let Levi see this, he'll lock himself away in a room full of cleanliness and lemon scented soap."
"Bizarre, isn't it?" She says, purposely ignoring my statement. I switch the rock to the crystal, studying this ones structures, to which they're both very similar. I pull away, frowning at the rock in my hand questioning whether I had actually switched the two.
"They're basically the same." I say, looking up at the glass eyed brunette.
"Exactly! That piece you're holding there is a chunk of rubble from the wall I had taken sample of after we had captured Annie. If it is what I think, then maybe the walls are made up entirely of hardened titan skin, the same stuff Annie used in titan form to enhance her attacks and make them more lethal!" She exclaims.
"And the same stuff that she encased herself in. If memory serves me correctly, Jean struggled to get a scratch when trying to get her out. Back in our most recent expedition, I remember both Levi and Miche struggling to pierce through it too, it'd make sense as to why the walls were always seemingly flawless." I reply back. She clapped in glee before pointing at me ecstatically.
"Yes! Ugh, I love having friends that know where I'm going with my words!" She cheers loudly. I gave her a small smile, delighting in her joy in my own silence. "Now! I doubt you came here to talk with me about rocks. What's on your mind, raisin?" She asks, her elbows making harsh contact with the countertop, making multiple objects shift slightly. I cock an eyebrow, eyeing the objects that had moved and making sure none of them were on the verge of falling from the counter.
"I found a book in the library, both Levi and I found it very... odd." I start, leaning forward with more gentle intent than she. My eyes drag up to meet hers with a slight tilt of my head. "Have you heard anything about bloodline of loyalty? You may think that the book has the information I seek but it's empty." At the last sentence, her eyebrows shot up in surprise.
"Why in the world is there a wordless book on library shelves?" She asks out loud, the question not really aimed at anyone including herself. She furrows her eyebrows as her gaze drops to the ground, chin cupped by her fingers. "I've heard nothing about it. Don't know why you're asking me, I can't even remember my parents names." She says before laughing softly, the tone she laughed in had a tinge of sadness in it, the slight drop in her eyes giving away her feelings without her permission.
"Han, are you okay?" I asked walking up to her. Her eyes dragged up to mine, a frown slowly making itself present in her expression as her eyes begin to gleam.
"Sorry, sorry." She smiles, though it doesn't reach her eyes. "Just a little tired, don't mind the tears I just yawned internally." Her hands reach up to her face, wiping away the salty water that escaped her eyes. My expression slowly dropped at the sight, my arms encasing her between them as I laid my head against her shoulder.
"You'll be okay." I murmur with a smile.
"I'm sorry. I've been stressed out ever since Sawney and Beane's deaths. Everything since then has been adding fuel to the fire." She replies back with a choked out half sob half chuckle, arms wrapping around me with a tighter embrace.
"Hey, if it helps, maybe we can get a drink in Ehrmich. It's not like I'm allowed to do anything, Erwin and Levi forbade it until I'm better." I suggest earning a scoff.
"You're practically back in tip top shape, I don't understand why they're keeping you locked away like that girl in the tower in that one fairytale." She giggles. "You're like a princess." It was my turn to scoff at the statement, slightly offended at the comparison between a soldier and a woman of royalty.
"How hurtful, I'm a fighter, thank you very much." I retort pulling away from her and gazing into her eyes. She rolled them quickly before pushing passed me.
"I sure hope you keep that energy in future missions. We'll need it." She says. Looking over her shoulder at me, her eyes glossed with thought before squinting them slightly in observation. "I'd read something about a different religion, a religion that believed in gods of elements and events and their warriors." She says, giving me a smile.
"What's that got to do with anything?" I ask, suddenly confused by the change in topic before she looks me up and down in wonder.
"A Valkyrie of War." She says simply before turning around and heading for the door. "That's what you are, my dear friend." She sings before disappearing down the hall.
***
Sin's head nudged my hand, demanding the attention I had deprived him off ever since I had taken time away from the action. With each passing second, dusk became more and more evident as the chilly air stains my nose sending a calming frenzy through my veins. A cricket in the near distance adding a mellowness into the air, a gentle voice quietly wording my name.
"Y/N?" Mikasa's voice always had a lack of violent intent in it, that calm edge to her tone instantly sending a reassuring shiver into your soul. I turn to look over my shoulder, my expression easing into a small smile as I silently gesture her a kind greeting with a nod. "We're getting ready to leave for Ehrmich now, we're waiting on you."
"I'm just saddling Sin up, give me two minutes and I'll be ready." I reply, walking to a hook hanging off the frame of the stables and picking the saddle off it. Her head tilted at me, question evident in her expression as an eyebrow cocked.
"You're not on the wagon with us?" She asks. I shook my head, turning back towards Sin.
"The day you see me going from one district to another without my horse is the day these titans disappear from this damned world." I say, opening the stall door and leading the mammal out. "Regardless of anyone's say in this, he's coming with us."
She gave a small smile, gaze dropping to the ground for a moment before she turned and walked away. I hum, both to myself and to my horse. A melody I recall my father sung when I was a child, my mum resting on my bed with me as we usually sang along. Finally finishing up, I put my foot up in the stirrup, hoisting myself onto Sin and settling down in the saddle, hands curling the reins around them before we trot to where the wagon is.
As I rode into view, I earned gazes that weren't quite readable. Hange looked at me as though I were crazy, Levi didn't look impressed at all. The Pastor didn't spare me a glance at all, and the trio minded their own business.
"Now, raisin, you're not supposed to be riding." Hange says with a subtle frown.
"I'm perfectly capable of riding. Even you said I'm basically in better shape." I reply back. She sighs in defeat before murmuring loudly to Levi.
"She's right, I did say that." She says. I roll my eyes in annoyance.
"C'mon, it's a few hours to Ehrmich. Would hate to see the morning sun before I even go to sleep." I say, watching as they all board onto the carriage. Levi paced to me, eyes piercing through me as his head cranes up to look at me.
"What are you doing? You're still injured." He whispered, reaching up toward me as his hand grasped the strap of my bag that hung loosely at my side. I shrug, lifting the strap over my head, his hands quick to take the bag. His eyes never left mine as he awaited an answer, his lidded gaze reflecting the deep purple sky and stars above.
"Barely, I'm not sure what Hange put in those medicines but they do a good job at what they're supposed to." I say. "Don't worry about me, I assure you I'm fine."
"Are you sure?" He asks, a slight pull between his eyebrows. I gave hike a gentle, reassuring smile.
"Completely and utterly. Worry about yourself for once, I worry about you guys often too." I say, an empathetic tone lacing my words.
"Please don't fall off." He says, turning on his heel and holding the bag over his shoulder. Sin started in a trot, a steady pace that the carriage could catch up easily. Riding down the path that lead out of the Headquarters, it was always a feeling I enjoyed. The air that hung around Stohess was always tense, specifically around Headquarters. Maybe to Sina citizens, the military carried some staining grime.
Sin's soft breaths below me sounded content. His pace was even, soft, like he knew I had previously sustained injuries and was trying his best to keep the ride as smooth as possible. I loved this horse so much. He understands everything. He doesn't speak, he merely goes through so much during our missions just to keep me safe.
I pity the people that had lost their horse, I think losing Sin would hurt nearly as much as it did losing Sam. It'd be like losing a family member, I'd never forgive myself if he happened to die on the battlefield because of my own reckless decisions. I want to be there with him, with Levi and Hange, Eren, Armin and Mikasa, when we finally defeat the titans. I want Sin to prance carefree around an open field as I read a nice book under a big oak tree.
Though if the battle between mankind and titans were to ever end, I'd miss the frequent interactions between myself and my comrades. I can nearly guarantee Hange would be knocking on my door everyday just to cry about not having anymore giant naked humanoids to experiment on anymore, and I'd imagine Levi being tucked away in a small, modest village somewhere in Rose owning a nice little teashop.
I'd have a cozy little house, near a river maybe. Not too far from the cave, Sin running circles around me with his glorious mane flying everywhere, Sergeant running to me with a pine cone we found on a walk in his mouth, finding such thrill in me throwing it for his entertainment.
But of course, that's all too good to even come true, isn't it?
My focus settled on the dull horizon that met the colorful palette of a sky. Deep reds, oranges, pinks and purples eventually blended into the dark blues and blacks that were peppered with glowing spots. A creation, created by an unknown higher being. Perhaps it is a god, or maybe nature just chose to bless us with such views in the short time we have to live.
Regardless, in such a cruel, cruel world, it truly is so beautiful.
Little things like views of sunsets, special moments with friends and family, even the arguments, really let's you see through the brutal abyss this world had in store for us.
"What should we do?" Armin asks, the carriage making pace with me. "To think that Rose would be breached so suddenly, what options do we have left to us?" My gaze fells from the sky to Sin's mane in wonder. What do we do now?
"Even if we go with Eren to the damaged spot, I doubt it'd go well. And why are we taking a wall priest with us?" The blonde asks. I gaze over, watching Hange closely as Eren and Mikasa sat staring at the floor of the carriage.
"Oh, Nick and I are best pals!" She exclaims, slapping an arm around the silent man's shoulders, her demeanor changing suddenly from happy to a sudden seriousness. "He knew there were titans in the walls. But he chose to keep it a secret until now." I pursed my lips, tilting my head at the man who sat idly and completely wordless between Hange and Levi.
"I don't know why but it seems he's serious about dying before saying anything about those walls. Still, their church knows some sort of secret about them." The brunette voices. The air fell quiet for a split moment before Eren stood up and got into the priests face, an expression of malice on his own.
"What the hell?!" He seethed before recoiling back in pain, Mikasa being quick to catch him before he collapsed back in his seat.
"Calm down, you're still drained from your fight with the Female Titan." Mikasa warns. Eren had his hand resting on his chest, taking in deep breaths of air as he regained composure.
"We could've asked some other believers but he chose to come with us. Since the situations different now, he wants to see if he can stay true to his principles and keep silent even after seeing how things really are." Hange deadpans. "He says he's going to judge with his own eyes, and then he's going to ask himself." Everyone stared at them in bewilderment.
"Wait, that's ridiculous! If there's something you know, please just tell us. How could anything be more important than keeping humanity from being wiped out?" Eren asks. He seemed nervous, itching to get answers and help with whatever chaos was happening.
"I wonder, the minister looks like a righteous man of good judgement. But on the other hand, perhaps there really is something more important to him than the extinction of humanity." Hange looks at the priest, a side glance at best.
"Well I suppose he does have some balls." Levi voices. "But I wonder about the other believers, hard to imagine those bastards have all got the same kind of willpower." The raven shifted slightly in his seat, a loud click sounding as he cocks a handgun and points it through his jacket, straight at the priest.
"Careful, Lee. Pulling that trigger could result in an injured Hange." I say. He simply spared me a glance, returning it to the pastor.
"There are a lowly of ways to ask a question. I may not be of much use right now, but I can at least keep my eye on one minister. I would sincerely like to avoid seeing a hole thoughtlessly blown through someone's body, I believe we both do." The air fell still once that last word left Levi's mouth. All motion ceasing except for the horses.
"But never mind that, I didn't think you had any hobbies so dreary as playing with rocks." The Captain says. Hange shrugs and holds up the crystal from before, eyes squinting as she inspects it closely.
"Well, you're right. This isn't just a rock, this is a fragment of that female titans hardened skin that she left behind." Hange behind a topic we had talked about just hours prior, my head naturally turning face forward and allowing my thoughts to drown out the conversation happening beside. I decide to ignore Armin's passively frantic jumps forward towards Han as they fed each other theories and information.
Something about those two things had me confused though. The wall and the crystal being made of very similar materials? Is it really a form of hardened skin? Is there really titans all throughout the walls, or did Annie just conveniently choose to climb that particular part of the wall?
"And use the hardening abilities to seal the hole in the wall?!" Hange exclaimed, breaking through my train of thought. I thought about it. Clearly the Female Titan was able to use it, why wouldn't Eren be able to?
Maybe even then, after sealing Rose, Maria could be taken back, and we'd gain back everything we had lost.
***
Little late! But it's okay!
5:12am here, I am knackered. Hope you all enjoyed!
Goodnight, my loves 🫶🏻
jazz<3