I stare at Caleb who's leaning on my bedroom wall opposite me in pure shock, blinking slowly.
"Say that again?"
He rolls his eyes, impatient but amused. "I. Broke. Up. With. Tracy." he repeats for the third time, stretching out the words slowly, as if speaking to an elderly person with poor hearing.
I continue to stare at him, eyes wide. I look down, and raise my hands to touch my ears. "Maybe I really do need hearing aids" I mutter , mostly to myself. I look at Caleb again. "I can't believe this."
He uncrosses his folded arms and pushes off the wall, heading straight towards me. I stand perfectly still as he reaches a hand out to touch my waist. He uses that hand to push me slightly until I'm completely against the wall, having only been inches from it anyway. Caleb uses his thumb to trace a lazy pattern on my side, looking straight into my eyes. he dips his head down, his lips just about grazing mine.
"I've always wanted to do this to you" he breathes against my lips. he pauses. "Along with other things."
I swallow thickly, the butterflies in my stomach almost painful. "Like what?"
Caleb steps even closer to me, just centimetres away from letting his lips fully press against my own. He presses me harder against the wall, pinning me in place. "Like this, for example" he murmurs.
Caleb slowly moves his head from side to side, smirking, teasing me with what he knows damn well I want. I part my lips a little.
"May I kiss you, Lily Carter?" He finally asks.
My breath gets caught in my throat. I can't speak. So I just nod.
"Words, baby. I need to be sure."
"Yes." I internally roll my eyes at myself. It's embarrassing how desperate that one word sounded.
Caleb's lips are finally about to press against mine when suddenly, the door bursts open and in comes Damien playing a trumpet. he stops playing and doesn't even look fazed at the sight of Caleb and I.
"Wake up, Lily- lolly-lollipop!"
My eyes slowly open, blinking to try and make sense of my surroundings. My vision is blurred and bleary and I'm barely conscious. I groan and hide my face with my hand when Damien tugs the curtains wide open, the sun nearly blinding me.
"Better than Keisha" he remarks. Walking over to where I am and jumping on my bed. Landing next to me, he props himself up on his shoulder and rests his head on his palm. "She hissed at me when I pulled the curtains open on her."
"As she should" I grumble, lifting my comforter and hiding underneath it.
Damien pokes my arm. "What's wrong, honey? Did you have a bad dream?" He asks.
I slowly lift the comforter back down, revealing my face again. I sigh deeply. "No....the opposite actually. I was having one of the most amazing dream I've ever had. Caleb broke up with Tracy, and he was just about to kiss me-" I clap my hand over my mouth, eyes wide, my now awake brain catching on to what my mouth was recklessly saying.
Damien snickers. "I fucking knew you had a crush on Caleb."
"Please don't tell him" I say mortified, my hand still on my mouth. He chuckles.
"Don't worry, Lils. Your secret is safe with me" Damien assures me. Then he wriggles his eyebrows at me. "Besides. I can't say I blame you. That boy is-" he rolls his eyes back in exaggeration, biting his lip.
"Literally right?!" I exclaim sitting up and supporting myself with my elbow too, facing him, my mortification now long gone.
"You absolutely have to tell me about what you were dreaming about now" Damien says, excitedly. I giggle.
"So basically, we were in my bedroom back home and he was telling me that he broke up with Tracy-"
"High time" Damien mumbles.
"-And I couldn't believe my ears cause, I'm not gonna lie, I've been hoping for this moment for years. Anyways, I tell him I can't believe it and he then moves from where he's leaning and comes to stand in front of me. He then puts his hand on my waist, and pushes me against the wall-"
"When is something like this finally gonna happen to me?"
"- And then he dips his head down, just about touching his lips to mine and says, and I quote, 'I've always wanted to do this to you. As well as other things.' "
Damien fans himself with his hand, doing a dramatic eye roll. "Hot damn."
"I know right? Anywho, the butterflies in my stomach are going crazy at what's happening and then I boldly ask him, 'like what?' And he replies, 'like this for example' totally pinning me against the wall now and teasing me by grazing his lips against mine, denying me what I want, the fucker. But he then stops his torture and asks at last, 'May I kiss you, Lily Carter?' I don't know why he said my last name too ,but I'm not complaining cause it sounded hot. Anyways, I'm like, a statue at this point so I only nod but then..." I pause for dramatic effect. "He says, 'Words, baby. I need to be sure.' "
Damien pretends to faint onto the pillow, eyes fluttering and hand over his forehead. "And that. Is why I'm pansexual. "
I fall back onto my pillow, dreamily gazing up at the ceiling. "I love that for you so much." But then I snap out of my trance and turn my head to glare at him. "But we never got to kiss because you woke me right before."
Damien smiles sheepishly. "Sorry, hon" he apologises. I smile back and then sigh.
"Maybe that was for the best" I murmur. "I don't want to get my hopes too high up when he's dating Tracy."
"I don't get why he 's still with the cheerleading nightmare, honestly" Damien says out loud sounding bewildered. "I swear, sometimes I feel like he's only dating her as a convinience. And my trumpet and I have more chemistry than they do. Actually..." Damien turns to me. You and Caleb have insane amounts of chemistry. I bet that's why Tracy hates you."
I roll my eyes, waving a hand in dismissal. "I really doubt that."
He shrugs. "The more you doubt Lils, the more I'll rub it in your face when you find out I'm right one day."
"Right about what?" Valentina's voice asks from the doorway, startling both me and Damien. Her brunette hair that she had curled yesterday has now become messy waves framing her gorgeous face, and she's wearing a black crop top and sweatpants PJ set. Her hands are in her pockets and she's leaning sideways against the door frame.
"Nothing." Damien and I both quickly say at the same time before giggling like little kids when we realise. Val arches a perfect eyebrow and opens her mouth, but then closes it again, shaking her head.
"Whatever, weirdos. Now c'mon, breakfast is almost ready, and Caleb is making pancakes!" She tells us. Ethan appears beside her, putting his arm over her shoulders.
"I call dibs on having the Nutella jar first" he declares.
"No way, I'll wrestle it from you if you get it before me" Val warns, as the two of them walk off. Damien pats my cheek.
"Up you get, ginger. Brush your teeth first then come down and eat Caleb" he says, getting off my bed and picking his trumpet back up. He notices the look on my face. "Caleb's pancakes is what I meant" he finishes innocently.
"Yeah right you did."
He blows a kiss at me and skips out of my guest room, and I fall back onto my bed again with a groan.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Th colosseum was built somewhere between 72 AD and and 80 AD under the emperor Vespasian, making the historic building about 1,900 years old." Lee states, looking up at the huge half destroyed amphitheatre in front of us.
"Woah! That was decades ago" Damien says, sounding awed. Lee sighs, giving him a look.
"Nearly two millennia ago, dumbass."
"Thats what I said."
Lee ignores him, and continues as we finally reach the the person collecting the tickets. "The Colosseum is the biggest amphitheater in the world, being 189 metres long, 156 metres wide, and 50 metres tall."
"Wow" the girl who takes his ticket remarks in amazement. "The fact that you know all that is impressive."
Lee just shrugs. "I did my homework."
The girl traces her finger along his bicep, and he subtly stiffens. "I do like smart guys" she says, batting her eyelashes, her voice sultry.
"So do I" he replies, before removing her finger from his arm and walking past her into the building.
While The rest of us have the grace to just about manage to stifle our laughter, Damien just has to speak. "Ouch savage! you should keep that burn under cool water for 20 minutes."
The girl scowls. "Just get in" she mutters, avoiding our eyes in her embarrassment.
We all hastily give her our tickets and speed after Lee before bursting out laughing. we catch up with him as we walk through the vomitorium.
"the Latin word vomitoria derives from the verb vomō, which means 'To spew forth'. Hence why it's called the voritorium, where spectators could exit rapidly."
"Are you gonna bore us with these facts the whole tour?" Damien whines.
"Be quiet, I'm enlightening you. You should be thanking me."
"Well, I'm not" Damien says under his breath. Lee ignores him and continues.
"The colosseum was where the gladiatorial shows took place. However, these deadly fights for nearly a thousand years, reaching their peak between the 1st century BC and 2nd century AD. The popularity of gladiatorial contests declined in the 5th century, leafing to their eventual complete disappearance."
"You know what!" Val exclaims. "I just remembered, I have something I need to do by the... um..." She doesn't even bother finishing her sentence as she quickly walks off.
"Wait! You said you were gonna take me with you, remember?" Ethan calls, chasing after her.
"Wherever you guys are going, I'm going too!" Damien says hastily, following the rest.
Keisha stares after them blankly, before looking at Lee. "I'm gonna go see if there's any food being sold somewhere." She states before grabbing Diego's arm and pulling him along with her.
Lee watches them leave, and it's either the sun playing tricks in my eyes, or a tiny tug of his lips indicating a smirk appeared for a second.
"Works every time" he mutters, sounding smug. He turns and walks away before disappearing into the crowd.
"That's a shame" Caleb states, his tone lacing with sarcasm. "I was actually enjoying his historical facts."
"Yes, how will we live on without them?" I ask, playing on the dramatics.
Caleb drops his act and snickers. "Exactly how we were living 10 minutes ago."
I nudge him in signal to follow me. "C'mon Blondie. I wanna go see check out the arena." He doesn't even hesitate before he willingly follows me.
"Alright people, gather! This way to the arena," A deep Italian accent calls. we step in with a small crowd of people, all with their cameras ready.
"The colosseum arena was a stage of combat and occasionally staged mock naval battles," The tour guide continues as we enter the massive area. "It's 80,000 seat stadium sat the spectators ready to watch slaves, criminals, or prisoners of war fight to the death. Women and plebeians were sat in the back, before them sat ordinary Roman citizens, and before them sat business men and government officials."
The crowd of tourists let out the classic 'ooohs and ahhhs' at his words, camera's and photos clicking away with taking pictures. I look around the huge space, taking in every cracked stone, every seat.
"You're not gonna take any pictures?" Caleb asks me, holding up his camera slung around his neck.
"Ssh. I'm making a memory" I tell him, smiling. He smiles back, but his eyes are saddened.
"The gladiators fought with a number of weapons" the guide starts off. He holds up two swords, both with black handles and gold accents and with their sheaths on. "The gladius graceus being one of them. The fights were single combat, usually having lasted from 10-15 minutes." He holds out one of the swords as if in offering. "Now I wonder, who in this crowd is brave enough to challenge me in a duel?" .
His hazel eyes scan the crowd, until they land on me. He points the sword at me, an eyebrow raised. "What about you Bellisima?". I feel Caleb stiffen next to me, but I shrug and step forwards to take the sword.
"You up for the challenge? Or are you too scared? I sure do put up a pretty good fight" He says cockily, getting into position.
I step my foot back and mirror the pose he's standing in. "I hope for your own sake you're not all talk."
The crowd make noises of anticipation and someone whistles. The guide gives me a smirk. "My name is Adriano. Your name, Bellisima?"
"I'll give it to you if you win" I tell him. "Countdown please? I'm getting impatient."
He chuckles. "As you wish. 3, 2, 1."
He swings his sword, aiming for my waist, I block it off right before he can hit me. I push his back, clanging it for good measure. I feign aiming for his left side, when his sword comes up to block me, I change course, striking his right arm. The crowd whoops, and his confident smirk slips slightly. In retaliation, he purposefully keeps hitting his sword against mine, forcing me to take a few steps back before he in turn strikes my shoulder. The thick sheaths keep the swords from slicing you through, but it still hurts.
His swords comes up to hit my side, and I stand ready to block it off, only for him to change direction and hit my leg.
"This is going to be too easy." his overly confident demeanour is back. I grit my teeth.
"Keep being so confident, it'll only be more amusing when you lose" I counter, moving to hit his left arm but being blocked.
He laughs. "You're the amusing one, doll."
And that nickname only fuelled me more. I hated being called 'Doll'. Jack had called me that on the regular whenever he was being patronising. It made me feel like an object, a pretty toy to be played around with whenever he was bored. It wasn't until much too late that I realised that's all I ever was to him.
Adriano suddenly runs at me holding up his sword, and I barley reach up to stop his. We push each other's swords back and forth, both doing our best to disarm the other. For a split second, I look sideways and make eye contact with Caleb. He's got his arms crossed, and a relaxed look on his face. Like he's certain that I was going to win. And his confidence in my strength simultaneously motivates, as well as flusters me.
I look back at Adriano, and aggressively shove him backwards, pushing my sword against his as hard as I can. I've caught him by surprise and he takes a few steps back, reeling a little, before he trips. I twist, and kick his sword out of his weakened hand, catching it by its handle just as he falls on his ass.
I point both swords at his chest, high in victory as the crowd cheers loudly. "My name is Lily." I say, slightly breathless. "I want you to remember the name of the girl you lost to."
I drop both swords next to him and go join Caleb where's he's standing. If I thought he looked proud before, he looked absolutely elated now. I can't help myself, the happiness and the victory I was feeling tickling me like bubbly champagne, and I throw my arms around his neck and hug him. Caleb picks me up off the ground and spins us around, hugging me tightly to him.
The gesture should freak me out, upset me, or trigger my fight or flight. But it doesn't. I want him to keep holding me like this, I would be happy standing there like that forever, everyone and everything tuned out. I don't want him to ever let go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I sit on the windowsill, windows pushed wide open, breathing in the warm, summer evening air of Italy, soaking in the sounds of muffled chatter and laughter in the next room , and Valentina's voice as she tells me about how her day with the rest of the group went, and how Damien got himself mugged.
"So the idiota let's the so called 'magician' blindfold him while he just stands there, and the con artist steals the Louis bag that Damien fought that 12-year-old for yesterday, his phone, as well as his wallet before running off. It took that boy 10 full minutes to remove the blindfold, only to discover that the 'magic trick' he'd been promised was the art of theft" Val finishes her story, wine glass in her hand, as she throws her head back and cackles.
I chuckle with her as I imagine the tantrum Damien must have thrown. "He's a bit of an idiot indeed."
"If by a bit you mean a hugely moronic, stupid, idiot, then I'm very much inclined to agree with you Lily." Lee says angrily, as he walks into the living room, typing something on his phone. Damien follows close behind him, a small notebook in his hands.
"Complain all you like, Lee-lee, but you're not stopping until we've called everyone who's name begins with the initial 'P'!" Damien declares.
"You've called the police, this is not necessary!" Lee snaps, exasperated.
"The police aren't enough!"
"So you want me to call everyone in this stupid phone book who's name begins with 'P'?"
"Well I'd do it myself but can't, cause um you know, my phone is currently stolen."
"And you've got no one to thank for that but your own astounding intelligence" Lee quips, leaving the room again, holding his phone up to his ear.
Damien blows a kiss at us before racing after him. Val and I laugh until our stomachs hurt at that show. Keisha suddenly rushes in through the garden doors, looking flustered just as Val and I calm down. I raise my eyebrows at her wide eyes, rapidly rising chest, and slightly swollen lips.
"What happened to you?" I ask in surprise.
"Who? What, me? Nothing why" Keisha replies much too fast.
"You look like me after a wild shopping spree" Val remarks. "Right down to one of the straps of my dress hiked down a little."
Keisha looks at her shoulder, and hastily raises the one of the straps of her dress back to its place. Just then, Diego walks in through the very doors Keisha rushed through, looking slightly disheveled. Only his state is more subtle.
Diego's eyes move from Keisha to where Val and I are sitting. "Uh... I just came back from... jogging" he says lamely. He looks at Keisha. "You ok, principessa?"
Keisha nods, somehow seeming more flustered than she was a few seconds ago. "Yeah" she says, her tone soft. Diego nods and walks out the room.
Val and I exchange a glance, both of us thinking the same thing.
"What?" Keisha snaps defensively. Val puts her hands up in a signal of peace.
"Nothing, corazón" Val says smoothly. She stands up and stretches, yawning delicately. "I'ts past ten, so I'm going to go catch up on my beauty sleep."
"Much needed beauty sleep" Keisha mumbles under her breath.
"I heard that, bitch" Val snaps. "You coming, Lily?"
"No thanks. I think I'm gonna stay down here for a little while" I reply, smiling. Val reaches down and kisses my forehead.
"Goodnight, amor." I kiss her cheek in turn.
"Goodnight, babe." She goes to link arms with Keisha, and Keisha and I blow each other a kiss before the two of them leave.
I look back out into the night, before closing my eyes. It's not five minutes later when I sense someone's presence behind me. I stay quiet, waiting for him to speak.
"Do you remember back when we were 11- years-old, that day our elementary school teacher brought in her pet rabbit?" Caleb asks.
I open my eyes and turn my head to look at where he's leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets.
I roll my eyes. "How can I forget? It was the day you started calling me carrots."
*Flashback*
"Careful Kids! Be gentle, don't scare, Clover" our teacher, Ms. Honey reprimanded gently.
I watched in awe as the bunny cuddled herself into Caleb's arms. He's got the softest look in his eyes as he carefully strokes her fur. He holds a finger up to her snout, and her little pink tongue reaches out to lick it. Caleb giggles, and I decide that I like him even more now.
"Do you want to hold Clover, Lily?" He asks me. I nod and hold my arms out in a cradle. Caleb gently passes the bunny to me and I quietly gasp at how warm and soft she feels.
"You're doing great, Lils! She likes you. Not as much as she likes me, but still!" Caleb says, happily.
"Thanks." I say dryly. I stare at how pretty he looks when he laughs, mesmerised by his blonde hair and smile.
It's then that I feel a weird tugging on my own hair. I look down to see Clover busy chomping at the ends of it. I stop myself just in time before I started screaming, not wanting to startle her.
Ms. Honey quickly rushes to my aid and takes Clover from me, laughing. "I'm sorry about that, sweetheart. Your hair probably reminds her of carrots."
Caleb meanwhile, doesn't have the grace to laugh quietly about it like the rest of the class. He laughs his head off, nearly dying.
"Be quiet, sunshine" I mumble, embarrassed. He only laughs harder at my obvious embarrassment.
" 'Carrots' " he splutters, repeating what Ms. Honey said. "That should be your nickname from now on. Like how you call me sunshine."
I gently kick him. "No way. I want a good nickname."
" 'carrots' is a good nickname! Now we'll always remember that time a rabbit thought your hair was a good meal."
And he hasn't stopped calling me that since.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Caleb laughs with me at that fond memory, both of us reminiscing. There's a peaceful silence between us for a few moments, and I wonder what he's thinking. I sometimes wonder if he's ever suspected how much I truly love his smile, how sometimes he's all I can think about. Sometimes I wonder if he's ever suspected that I have feelings for him.
"I miss those days" Caleb says, sadly. "No drama, no teenage problems. Just two best friends, playing in our treehouse, drinking the lemonade my mom made, as we sat in my backyard. The days when we were innocent little kids, the days before...." He trails off.
"The days before my leukemia" I finish for him quietly.
"Yeah" he whispers.
It's silent again, except for the sounds of Damien and Lee yelling at each other, and Diego and Ethan laughing.
I reach forward and pat the empty space that Val had previously sat in. "C'mon" I say to Caleb. "I want to call my parents, and I'm sure they miss you."
Caleb grins and he goes to sit in front of me. I wait for my mom to pick up the face-time before pointing the screen at Caleb. "Caleb? I swear you age two more years every time I see you" she says, almost sounding alarmed.
"It's still me, Alice. 18-year-old Caleb" he chuckles.
"18? Wasn't it just yesterday when you were 9 years old, and you had me call your mom to bring you a new pair of pants because you'd peed the ones you were wearing from laughing too hard?"
"I'm sure he still does that, Mom" I say slyly. Caleb's cheeks are slightly red and he smacks my arm. We're all laughing, My mom, Caleb and Me. and for a moment, we're 11 and twelve years old again. And nothing bad has happened yet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author's Note:
Writing about their childhood makes me a tad emotional ngl 🤧.
- Kelly <3