The journey back to Alexandria gave CJ a chance to think over the events of the fight. She worried that they were starting to lose themselves in it, that they would struggle to settle down afterwards. Or worse, that the fight would never end. Not with the Saviors, but with the world. The days she was living made a peaceful future seem further and further from reach with every passing hour.
She thought about Morales... how different he was compared to when she knew him. Maybe Daryl was right to kill him, and maybe he wasn't. Either way, it frightened her. Seeing a man who she knew was once the happy family man, a smile on his face most of the time despite the circumstances around him, it made her wonder about herself.
If she could see herself back then, and then look in a mirror now, how much had she changed? She was, of course, different to who she once was. But she liked to think, or hope, that parts of who she once was were still there. She just had to remind herself from time to time what she had told Morales that day.
"Despite all the reasons to do so, I haven't given up hope."
There was so much loss and fear within her, but she didn't let it haunt her. She had reasons to be alive, reasons to fight. She would have given up trying to survive a long time ago if she didn't think there was something worth living for. And there always is something. Sometimes it just takes time to find.
Driving through the gates of her home, she got out of the car and barely made it two steps before she saw two of her reasons to keep fighting.
"CC!" Judith shouted excitedly as she ran up the road with Carl following her.
"Hey!" CJ beamed. She knelt down and held her arms out, and Judith ran. CJ picked her up and spun around. "How ya doing?"
Judith replied by showing CJ what was in her hand. "Spoon!"
"Yeah, it's... it's a wooden spoon," CJ smiled, obviously confused. "Jude, why do you have a spoon with you?"
"Cakes!" Judith grinned. "Make cakes!"
Carl joined them and laughed at CJ's confused face. "She wanted to make cakes, but only when you got back," he explained.
"Oh, is that right?" CJ raised an eyebrow at Judith, who giggled and hid her face against CJ's neck. "Well, I guess we're making cakes then."
"Yay! Cakes! Cakes!" Judith chanted.
She wiggled in CJ's arms to be let down. When she was back on the ground, Carl walked up to CJ and engulfed her in a big hug. "I'm glad you're back," she heard him sigh out, his voice muffled against her shoulder.
"Told you I'd be back before you knew it," CJ chuckled, kissing Carl's cheek as she let go out him. "You alright?"
"Yeah," he smiled softly. "Where's my dad and Daryl?"
"Daryl had his bike, he should be back soon enough," CJ replied. "And your dad had a stop to make before he came home. They're both fine. We got the outpost cleared."
CJ felt Judith tugging at her jeans, and her and Carl looked down to see the girl smiling up at them, staring between them. "Cakes now, CC?"
"Of course, sweetheart," CJ chuckled, taking one of Judith's hands. Carl took his sister's other hand as they made their way down the street toward the house.
"How were things out there?" Carl asked. "Got it cleared, but was it a lot?"
"As good as it probably could have been," CJ sighed. "We lost some people. Ones that got injured were taken to the Hilltop. Gabriel got lost at the Sanctuary. Your dad and I thought he was following us but there was no sign of him."
"And what about those guns Dwight said about?" Carl asked.
"Weren't there," CJ shrugged. "Might have just been moved to another outpost last minute. Guess we'll find out when Daryl and your dad come back."
"Swing!" Judith shouted happily, tugging on their arms.
"Okay, okay," Carl laughed. "You ready? One, two three, swing!"
He and CJ pulled Judith of the ground and swing her as they walked before putting her back down whilst she laughed away. They did that all the way back to the house, and CJ found herself forgetting about the events of her morning. She wasn't worried about what happened with Morales, or Gabriel being missing. She didn't think about where Josh might have been if not with Negan at the Sanctuary. She didn't worry about any of it because in this moment, she didn't need to be afraid of anything.
When they went into the house, CJ rand upstairs to get changed quickly before coming back down to the kitchen, where Carl was getting the ingredients out for the cakes. As she came into the room, Judith ran over her and lifted her arms.
"Up?" she asked.
CJ smiled and lifted Judith up to sit her on the counter. "You gonna help me mix?" CJ asked.
"Mix, spoon!" Judith picked the spoon up again, and CJ giggled.
"You know, she refused to put that spoon down until you got home," Carl chuckled as he and CJ started putting the ingredients (which were from the Hilltop's farm) together in the bowl.
"Good to know she hasn't forgotten me," CJ sighed. "Feel like I never have the time to see the two of you these days. I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry," Carl replied. "With the fight happening and everything, none of us have much time anymore."
"I'm gonna change that," CJ promised. "I'll make time. Who knows? Maybe after the war's over, we can take that road trip we talked about a while back. The three of us and your dad?"
"Yeah," Carl agreed happily. "That would be great."
"Great," CJ smiled, putting one arm around Carl.
They finished with the cake mix and put the bowl next to Judith. "You wanna stir it, Judith?" Carl asked. "Here, I'll help you."
Judith held onto the spoon, and Carl held his hand over hers, so she felt like she was doing it. CJ stood back and watched them both with a warm smile. This... this is what she had to live for.
Carl whispered something to Judith, who giggled and nodded her head as Carl turned to CJ. "Hey, can you come look at this? I think we forgot something."
"What's wrong with it?" CJ asked as she came over to them.
However, instead on answering the question, Carl grabbed a handful of flour and hit the top of CJ's head, making the flour go everywhere.
"Oh my god!" CJ gasped, shaking her head to get the flour out of her hair and face, not that it helped. Judith and Carl were both laughing loudly, and they even high fived. "You two think this is funny, huh?" CJ narrowed her eyes.
"Yes," Carl grinned smugly.
"CC, silly!" Judith laughed, pointing at her.
"Oh yeah?" CJ smirked, grabbing a small handful of flour. "I'll show you silly."
CJ ran her floury hand through Judith's hair, and the girl squirmed and giggled, trying to get away. Carl picked up his sister and started running around the kitchen island.
"Run, Judith, run!" he joked. Judith squealed and hugged her brother tightly as he ran.
"I'm getting both of you back!" CJ chased them around with the bag of flour.
The three were playing and running around until the kitchen was a total mess, but it didn't matter. Judith may not have understood, but Carl and CJ knew how sacred times like it were. Especially with the fight happening. They put the cakes in the oven and cleaned up the place whilst Judith just sat in front of the oven and waited for the cakes to be ready.
When the cakes were out and cooling on the side, CJ made casserole for all of them. Whilst she cooked, Carl set the table and got Judith into her highchair. She could hear him talking to his sister whilst they waited, and she couldn't help but smile to herself as she just took a moment to listen. The fight with the Saviors might have been scary and tiring, but coming home to a day like this made it worth it.
"Here we go," CJ announced proudly as she came to the table with the casserole dish and set it down in the centre of the table.
"Thanks, mom," Carl chuckled as he scooped some of the food onto his plate.
"Funny, son," CJ shot back. She took the serving spoon and put some food into Judith's baby bowl. "There you go, Jude."
"Cake?" Judith asked, poking the casserole with her finger and licking it.
"After your lunch," CJ replied with a smile. Judith pouted a little, put picked up her plastic fork and ate anyway, getting most of her food on her face.
They ate in silence for a while, enjoying each other's company. Carl was the first one to speak up. "When I've finished this, I'm gonna go out for a while," he said.
"Where?" CJ asked.
"Just for a walk," he shrugged.
"Carl," CJ said, raising an eyebrow. "You can tell me."
Carl sighed and put his fork down. "There was a guy yesterday at a gas station," he began. "He was asking me for help. He was by himself; said he had been for a long time. I was gonna talk to him but my dad shot at him and he ran away. They were only warning shots, but still..."
"Who was he? This guy?" CJ questioned, putting her fork down on her plate and leaning forward in her seat. "Could he have been a scout for Negan?"
"No," Carl quickly replied. "That's what my dad thought, hence the shots. But no. He really was just a guy by himself. I went out there again to try and look for him. I left him some food and water, but he needs real help. More than just a can of corn. I'm gonna go find him."
"I should come with you," CJ said.
"That's okay," Carl shook his head. "Really, I... It should be me that goes. Alone."
CJ pursed her lips and nodded her head. "Okay, if you're sure."
"Wait," Carl paused. "Really? You're not gonna tell me not to go?"
"Baby, I told you that this is your show, right?" she replied and Carl nodded. "If you truly believe that this guy is someone you can trust, and someone who you think is worth saving, how can I argue with that? I trust you, Carl."
Carl had a smile on his face as he stood up from his place at the table and walked around to CJ's side. He leant down and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly whilst she chuckled and hugged him back.
"Thank you. I love you," he mumbled softly as he let go of her and sat in the chair next to her.
"I love you too. You know, you have grown up so much since I met you," CJ's whispered, even feeling tears brimming her eyes as she smiled at him. "Going out there to help a stranger... that's the sorta' thing you don't see much of these days. I'm proud of you."
Carl went out when they finished eating. Once CJ had washed up, she took Judith to play outside. The girl got her chalks out again and carried on drawing on the road where she had been before whilst she ate one of the cakes they'd made. CJ sat on the porch steps, watching her with a fond smile.
It wasn't long before she heard the familiar roar of Daryl's bike getting louder as he drove up to the gates and was let in by the guards. After a few minutes, he came walking up to the house, waving at Judith when she smiled at him.
"Hey," he nodded to CJ.
"Hi," she replied, standing from the step and hugging him. "Where you been?"
"Found the guns," Daryl said as he pulled away from the hug and kissed her forehead. "They were moved to that other outpost where the Kingdom went. That's the bad news."
"What?" CJ asked.
"None a' them made it out," Daryl mumbled. "The Savior that tried to drive off with the guns. Told us Ezekiel, Carol and Jerry were the only three that survived the fight there."
"Jesus," CJ sighed, closing her eyes. "So, did you bring the guns back here?"
"Nah," Daryl replied, bowing his head. "They were uh, they were destroyed when the car crashed."
"Great," CJ muttered. "At least that means the Saviors don't have them either, I guess. Come inside, there's some lunch left over."
"Thanks but, I gotta go talk to Tara," Daryl shook his head.
CJ furrowed her eyebrows. "About what?"
"I just gotta do somethin' and I need her help with it," Daryl shrugged. "No big deal."
"We'll, if it's no big deal, you should be able to tell me what it is," CJ replied.
"It's..." he sighed and put his hand on her arm. "It's nothin', alright? You don't gotta worry. I'll see you later."
He leant down and kissed her fleetingly before walking off to Tara's house without another word. CJ watched him go, and he looked over his shoulder at her. He stopped walking for a moment, but went off again, and this time he didn't turn around. CJ wanted to trust him, but in that moment, she had no idea what was going on inside his head.
An hour or so later, someone had come over to babysit Judith so CJ could check in with the people on watch. As she was walking up the street, doing round of the town, she spotted Carl headed her way with Judith in his arms.
"Hey," she smiled. "I didn't even know you were back."
"Yeah, I know," he shrugged. "Got back like ten minutes ago and got changed. I'm gonna take Judith home for a bit. Then I'll go work in the gardens. I'll take her with me. Wanna join?"
"I can't, I gotta go and take over for Tobin on the gate for a bit," CJ replied. "Only for a couple hours, then I'm all yours okay?"
"Yeah, okay," Carl smiled, using one hand to wipe his brow.
"Hey, you alright?" CJ asked, concerned.
"Yeah, yeah," Carl replied. "Got pretty hot out there," he chuckled.
"Did you find the guy?" CJ asked.
"I did," Carl replied. "He's safe. Figured it was best to keep him hidden until I could tell my dad he's here. When do you think he'll be back?"
"Umm, I'm not sure," CJ shrugged. "He was headed to that garbage place to talk to Jadis. Should be back in a couple hours, at a guess."
"If he comes back when you're on watch, can you ask him to come find me?" Carl asked.
"Yeah, course I will," CJ assured him. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine, I promise," he smiled. "Promise. I'll see you later."
He was already walking away before CJ could reply. He turned around to look at her, and he smiled widely with a wave that Judith copied. It made CJ chuckled and wave back before she headed off to the gate.
Meanwhile, at the Sanctuary...
Negan's signature whistle echoed through the hall as he walked through the Sanctuary toward the medical room. He stopped in the doorway with a smile on his face, lazily hanging his bat over his shoulder.
"I trust someone filled you in on what happened out there today," he mumbled.
Josh sat up, wincing a little from the healing gunshot wound on his shoulder. "Yeah," he scoffed. "Pricks from Alexandria shot the place out and now everyone's goin' apeshit, thinking this place ain't safe."
"Yeah, that about sums it up," Negan chuckled, stepping further into the room. "Now, we are currently trapped by the herd those assholes led in. I got Eugene the genius workin' on a solution to get the undead away. But the second we can get out, we are gonna rain fire on their asses, and I'm gonna need everyone on top a' their game. That includes you."
"Whatever you need, I'll be there," Josh nodded. "Carson said this thing is healing fast. I'm good."
"Good to know," Negan nodded. "Hell of a hit your ex got you with that day," he chuckled. "Though, I gotta say, after the shit you pulled while she was here, I can't help but be a little impressed."
"Yeah, well," Josh mumbled. "I guess shooting me was on her bucket list for a long time. I was never the best guy to her. Best believe, that's the only shot she's gonna get."
"Hey, you wanna continue with your own little soap opera story, I won't stand in your way, man," Negan replied with a shrug. "Still, don't matter anyhow. After the shit they pulled today, none of 'em are gonna get any more shots in. I want Rick, the Widow and The King. The rest, we'll," he smirked. "I'm sure I'll figure somethin' out. You with me?"
"Hell yeah, I'm with you," Josh nodded his head.
"Good. The second we get out of here... we end this."
*****
A/N: short and sort of a filler chapter, but I really love it! Next chapter will be longer.
Let me know what you think!
Lots of heartbreak this season, so enjoy the cuteness while it lasts lmao